Chapter 3
Pinkie Pie was known for many things around Ponyville. Her boundless energy, which was exceeded only by her endless optimism. Her parties, her songs, her “Pinkie Sense”, and her quirky nature were all things that everypony just accepted as Pinkie Pie.
What many ponies did not recognize about Pinkie Pie, was her attention to the little things. She always paid attention to pony’s favorite foods, to make sure that she’d be able to prepare them at a party. She could glean many details from the most casual conversations, to see if there was anypony who needed cheering up, or if there was a party she should be planning.
So of course, she realized there was something going on with her friend, Rainbow Dash. Aside from the fact that Rainbow didn’t seem to have as much time to go pranking anymore, she also seemed distracted by something. There was obviously something on her mind, but Rainbow Dash wasn’t talking.
Well, there was no way Pinkemena Diane Pie would just let one of her bestest friends possibly be worried over something without helping! She had to figure out what was bugging her pranking amigo. Her prankmigo, as it were.
First, she’d have to figure out what was bugging Rainbow Dash. Which meant gathering information (which she had recently picked up as a trained skill!), and she knew the best place in all of Ponyville to get information.
“So, Pinkie Pie, whatever brings you here today?” Rarity sipped at her cup of tea, giving a little ‘hmmm’ of contentment at the flavor. Pinkie personally never understood tea. It was like grass flavored water. Unless it was sweet tea, with lots and lots of sugar! Then it was super yummy.
She wasn’t here to debate the tastiness of tea however! She needed answers, and if there was anypony who knew about the going-ons of Ponyville, it would be Rarity.
“Alright, Rarity, I’ve got some questions for you.” While she sounded super serious, inside Pinkie was laughing. She loved playing the bad cop.
Rarity seemed completely unphased by Pinkie’s sudden change in demeanor, which was kind of a downer for Pinkie Pie. After all, how was she supposed to lean on somepony for information if they weren’t intimidated?
“Of course, Pinkie, what would you like to know?”
“What’s your favorite color?” Pinkie asked, staring at Rarity to pick up on any hints that she may be less than truthful.
Rarity seemed a little confused at the question, exactly as Pinkie had planned. “Hmmm… I’d say royal blue, though I have found myself drawn to the color orange as of late.”
“How’s business been?”
“Oh, things have been going alright. I have had a few orders here and there, but nothing too major. I’m actually about to start working on my new summer line.”
Pinkie nodded. “I see, I see. Been to the spa lately?”
“Why as a matter of fact, I was there just yesterday with Fluttershy.”
“How’s Sweetie Belle?
“She’s a hooful as always.”
“Any idea why Rainbow Dash has been acting so weird lately?”
“I’d suppose it would be because she’s trying to deal with her crush on Twilight.”
“Rainbow Dash has a crush on Twilight?!”
Rarity immediately looked ashamed. She quickly looked around, as though somepony may have suck into the botique just to eavesdrop on that particular piece of information. Satisfied that nopony else was there, she turned back to Pinkie Pie. “Yes, but I’m afraid I should not have said that, it’s a bit of a secret you see.”
“No problemo! Nopony will hear it from me! Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!”
Rarity smiled at that. “Thank you, Pinkie Pie.”
This was so exciting! She had expected to find out that Rainbow Dash had been replaced by some kind of shape shifting pony eater, and was currently held in a cocoon somewhere while fake Dashie lulled Ponyville into a false sense of security. This was like, a million times more exciting!
“So when is Dashie gonna ask Twilight out?” She needed to know after all, if she was going to throw a RainLight party… or maybe a TwiDash party? Or a RainbowTwilightDashieSparklepalooza?!
“I’m not sure. Rainbow Dash was quite opposed to the idea of having a crush at first, and I’m afraid Twilight is probably quite oblivious to Rainbow Dash’s attentions.”
“Awwww, that’s no fun!” Pinkie whined, “Rainbow Dash just needs to go up to Twilight and give her a big ol’ smooch! Then they can date each other and get married and do all the awesome stuff you do with a special somepony!”
“Pinkie Pie! One does not simply walk up to their crush and ‘give them a big ol’ smooch’! Even somepony as brash as Rainbow Dash would know better.”
Pinkie nodded. Rarity was right about that, there was no way Dashie was just gonna smooch Twilight...without some help! Not that Pinkie was going to smooch Twilight, but she was gonna help Dashie smooch Twilight. Nope, that still didn’t sound right…
She’d just have to help her two friends with their smooching!
…
Close enough!
With that thought in mind, Pinkie Pie decided to make herself scarce while Rarity was still ranting about propriety and romance. Rarity was silly like that sometimes. She made her way back to her room in Sugarcube Corner, only stopping seven times along the way to greet ponies or grab an emergency cupcake to cheer up a crying filly.
She took out her party planner, and flipped to a clean page. First order of business, she’d have to get Twilight and Rainbow Dash alone together, which was a silly thing to say, because how could somepony possibly be alone if they were together with somepony else? Then, she’d have to make sure the mood was set. Candles were romantic right? Though, probably not birthday candles, unless it was a birthday date!
Pinkie Pie quickly began to scribble ideas down, giggling to herself every now and again as she thought about how happy her friends were going to be, once Pinkie helped them become super special someponies! And with this plan, she couldn’t fail.
Heck, if she didn’t already have her cutie mark, she’d probably get it in matchmaking after this!
Or maybe she could get another cutie mark? Then she’d be a party pony and a matchmaker pony!
She’d think about that later. For now, she had a secret “Get-Dashie-And-Twilight-To-Smooch” plan to put into action.
Everything was perfect! The decorations were up, the invites had been sent out, she’d fished Gummy out of the punch bowl, and the snacks were all set.
Operation Twidash was a go!
The front door opened, and Twilight walked inside before coming to a complete stop. She stared wide-eyed at the transformation the library had undergone.
“Heya, Twilight! You’re a little early, but that’s okay, cause I’ve already finished setting everything up.”
“P-Pinkie Pie? What is all this?”
“It’s a Hearth’s Warming Eve party, silly!” Pinkie bounced her way over to Twilight, placing a festive paper hat on her head.
“I can see that. I guess I’m just a little confused because Hearth’s Warming Eve is still two months away…”
Pinkie smiled, but on the inside, her inner Pinkie was panicking. Of course! She knew Hearth’s Warming Eve wasn’t for another couple months! How could she have overlooked such an important detail? What could she do now? She couldn’t just abandon her plan when she’d come so far? If only her inner Pinkie Pie would help her come up with an idea instead of running around screaming and throwing things out of windows.
“Then it’s a ‘Two-Months-Till-Hearth’s-Warming-Eve-Party’!” Whew, her inner Pinkie Pie came through after all, clever girl.
Twilight looked like she was going to say something, but stopped. She shook her head, and smiled at Pinkie. “Of course, well, it certainly looks fun. So when is everypony else showing up?”
“I was actually just about to go get them! Wanna hold down the party-fort for me while I round everypony up?”
“Sure thing, Pinkie.”
Pinkie Pie just barely suppressed her urge to laugh like the evil mastermind she was. Instead, she made her way outside the library, before quickly running into a bush next to one of the windows. Part 1 had been a smashing success, now she just had to wait for the start of Part 2!
She watched through the window as Twilight walked through the library, examining the decoration and snack table. Pinkie looked down at the watch she wasn’t wearing to check the time. Any minute now…
Twilight turned to look at the door, right on schedule. Pinkie watched the mare trot over to the door, before opening and smiling. She stepped to the side, allowing Rainbow Dash to make her way into the library.
Rainbow Dash gave a confused look around the library, turning to ask Twilight something. Twilight shrugged and gave a reply, before making her way over to the snack table. Pinkie Pie couldn’t help but giggle, as she watched Rainbow Dash stare at Twilight as she perused the snacks.
Now, it was time for part 2 of her devious plan! Pinkie pulled out remote control out of her mane, a simple black box with a large red button in the center. She quickly pressed the button, watching through the window to see her plan come to fruition.
Inside the library, Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle jumped in surprise, as the decorations hanging from the ceiling gave simultaneous pops, revealing the mistletoe that had been hidden inside. The room was covered in the stuff, Pinkie had made sure that there was not one inch of the room that did not have mistletoe hanging above it.
Pinkie Pie cackled, twirling a moustache she’d put on for just such an occasion. There was no escaping her mistletoe onslaught! Now, Rainbow Dash and Twilight would have no choice but to kiss, and then realize their true feeling for each other!
Rainbow Dash looked nervous at the sight of the mistletoe, but said something to Twilight, smiling shyly at her. Twilight…
Twilight’s eyes were watering! She was so happy to finally have a chance to express her feelings for Rainbow Dash that she was about to cry!
Or sneeze. Did Twilight always sneeze when she was happy?
She had to be really happy, because she kept sneezing! And while Pinkie Pie was happy to see Twilight sneezing in happiness, it was kind of keeping the kiss from happening.
It looked like Twilight was trying to say something between her sneezes. Whatever it was, Rainbow Dash apparently understood, because she flew up into the air, snatching the mistletoe from the ceiling. She was a blur of colors as she flew around the library, grabbing all the mistletoe that Pinkie Pie had hung, before flying towards the window Pinkie was looking through.
Pinkie barely had enough time to duck back into the bush before the window opened, and Rainbow Dash tossed all the mistletoe outside.
“There ya go, Twi!” Rainbow Dash said, dusting her hooves off.
Twilight sniffled loudly. “Guh, thanks Rainbow Dash! I guess I need to let Pinkie Pie know that I’m allergic to mistletoe.”
“Yeah, good to know for the future.” Rainbow Dash closed the window, cutting off anything else from being heard.
Once she was sure she was clear, Pinkie Pie crawled out of the bush. As she began walking back to Sugarcube Corner, she pulled the moustache off her snout. She had no right to wear it, her fool proof plan had been ruined! Not only that, but she hadn’t even gotten to monologue about it!
It looked like it was back to the drawing board. She’d get those two to kiss if it was the last thing she did!
The next day, Pinkie began operation “RainbowSparkleKissu 2”. The plan was simple, all she had to do was find a way to get Rainbow Dash and Twilight to go on a romantic boat ride. The two of them, alone, floating along in the middle of Ponyville Lake, wouldn’t be able to resist the urge to kiss each other!
She just hadn’t counted on them both being busy.
“Sorry, Pinkie, but I’m still cleaning up the mess from the party you set up yesterday.” Twilight had sounded awfully grumpy when Pinkie Pie had approached her.
“Can’t stop to chat, Pinkie, I gotta get some clouds over to the farmlands or they’re not gonna get the rain they need.” Rainbow Dash had flown by before Pinkie had even been able to ask.
So perhaps the romantic boat ride was out. But Pinkie would not give up! She was a mare on a mission, and she would not rest, she would not sleep for an instant, until Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle kissed!
But first she decided to go get some doughnuts.
And as luck would have it, Mrs. Cake had just finished a batch of chocolate frosted doughnuts when Pinkie walked in! Like it was destiny!
So, once her doughnut craving had been satisfied, she came to a startling realization: Mr. and Mrs. Cake were married! Which meant that they had to have kissed during the wedding, and possibly before that.
If there was anypony who could help her get Rainbow Dash and Twilight smooching, it would be Mrs. Cake.
“Heya Mrs. Cake, how did your first kiss happen?”
The sound of pots and bowls crashing against the ground echoed throughout the kitchen. A stunned Mrs. Cake slowly turned to Pinkie. “Wha-what was that, Pinkie?”
“I asked how you got your first kiss! Though now I wanna ask if you meant to drop all that stuff on the ground?”
If Mrs. Cake noticed the mess she had made, she didn’t comment on it. She was simply looking at Pinkie, as if she were searching for something. “Er, Pinkie Pie, are you perhaps trying to get somepony to kiss you?”
“Nope!” Pinkie Pie shook her head. What a silly idea, she didn’t have time to try and get somepony to kiss her when she was so busy trying to get Rainbow Dash and Twilight to kiss.
“Then why the interest in my first kiss?”
“I’m trying to help out a friend!”
Mrs. Cake’s eyes widened in realization, and she smiled at Pinkie. “Oh! A friend, huh?”
Pinkie nodded, wondering why Mrs. Cake put such emphasis on the word “friend”.
“Well, I suppose I could tell you then, to help out your friend.” There was that weird emphasis on “friend” again. “Let’s see. I suppose I was a few years younger than you are now. I had been dating this pegasus I’d met in school, a shy little colt named Storm Runner.
“We’d just finished having a nice dinner, and detoured to the park while he was walking me back home. We sat next to each other, looking up at the stars. Then we were looking into each others eyes, and he leaned forward and kissed me.”
"Wait, that's it? He didn't like, have a band playing a romantic song while you ate spaghetti? Or save you from some fire breathing turtle, or something romantic like that?" Pinkie asked.
“No, the moment was romantic enough. There doesn’t have to be some big event behind it, Pinkie, it’s the feelings that matter.”
That made sense, but the whole problem was that Twilight didn’t know about Dashie’s feelings! If she did, then Pinkie wouldn’t have to help Dashie smooch her.
She wasn’t even going to try and rework that sentence this time.
“So was that any help, Pinkie?” Mrs. Cake asked.
“Yeppers! Thanks a bunch, Mrs. Cake! Now I gotta go see a Princess about setting up a stargazing date!” Pinkie bounced out the door, leaving a confused and slightly flustered Mrs. Cake behind.
“P-Princess? And Pinkie… oh dear…”
Ponyville Park was typically a peaceful place, especially at night. With most ponies at home, there was a quiet, serene feeling.
Except from the bush that Pinkie Pie was currently hiding in. The leaves were shaking so hard that it looked like they would fall off, from Pinkie’s nervous excitement. She didn’t want to hurt the bush, but she couldn’t help it. Her greatest plan was about to come to fruition, she was both nervous and excited. If only she had a word to describe such a sensation…
She’d have to think about that some other time though. The first of her pawns had finally arrived.
Rainbow Dash scanned around the park, looking back to the letter she had been carrying with her. And probably wondering where the Midnight Wonderbolts Autograph Session was, since that’s what Pinkie Pie had put in the letter.
That had been the hardest part about her plan, getting Twilight and Rainbow Dash to the park. Even setting up the stars had been easier. Princess Luna had been too busy to accept visitors, so Pinkie had made her request to Princess Celestia. Celestia had been more than happy to pass the request on to Luna, knowing how happy it would make her sister to have ponies enjoying her night. And boy, did Princess Luna deliver! The sky was prettier than Pinkie had ever seen it, and it seemed like there were shooting stars every few minutes.
So Pinkie Pie had sent Rainbow Dash and Twilight each an anonymous letter, relevant to their interests. It was super sneaky! Even more sneaky than the mistletoe plan. She just really hoped that Twilight wasn’t allergic to mail.
“Rainbow Dash? What are you doing out here?” There she was! Twilight had finally arrived, carrying saddlebags laden with books, quills, and a telescope.
“Oh! Uh… nothing, just out for a walk.” Rainbow Dash quickly stuffed the letter under one of her wings.
“A walk? This late?”
“Well, you’re out here pretty late too!” Rainbow retorted.
Twilight nodded. “I know, I received a letter saying that there was a meeting of the Ponyville Astronomical Society tonight in the park, but I think somepony might have gotten the dates mixed up.” Twilight cast her gaze around the clearly empty park.
“Uhh, Twi? I think you might’ve been pranked.” Rainbow Dash turned back to her wing, pulling out the letter she’d hidden beneath it. “I got a letter saying there was a Midnight Wonderbolts Autograph session in the park too.”
Twilight looked at the letter skeptically. “And you believed it? Why on earth would the Wonderbolts hold an autograph session in the middle of the night in Ponyville?”
“Hey! I figured maybe it was some super secret thing! Besides, you came out here too, thinking there was some meeting going on.” Rainbow Dash defended herself, sounding a bit smug about Twilight having gotten caught.
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Rainbow, it makes sense that there would be a meeting for an astronomy group at night, you know, to see the stars and planets?”
Rainbow opened her mouth, looking for some kind of retort, but instead simply shook her head. “Ugh, fine! So what’re you going to do now?”
“Well, I’m already out here, and this is a pretty good night for stargazing. It looks like Princess Luna really outdid herself tonight. I’ll probably just stick around for a little bit and enjoy the view.”
“Sounds cool, mind if I chill with you?” Rainbow Dash asked, before looking a little nervous. “I-I mean, I’m already out here too! Plus, it might be more fun to watch the stars with a friend.”
Twilight smiled, and clapped her front hooves in excitement. “Oh, that would be wonderful, Rainbow Dash! Spike normally falls asleep before I start any kind of astronomy project, so I’ve never had somepony to watch the stars with before. Here, just let me get set up really quick.”
Pinkie watched as Twilight’s horn glowed, objects flying from her saddlebags. In quick succession, a blanket was laid on the ground, followed by the telescope being set on it, and then some books and quills. Once everything was ready, Twilight walked over and sat down on the blanket, before looking back at Rainbow Dash and patting the spot on the blanket next to her.
How on earth did Twilight not see the blush on Rainbow Dash’s face? Pinkie could see it all the way from the bush. It was no wonder these silly mares needed Pinkie’s help.
Rainbow Dash sat down on the indicated spot, scooching over just a little bit closer to Twilight. Pinkie watched them as they looked up at the stars, basking in the beauty of the night.
Pinkie watched with bated breath. Then with cupcake breath, then with bored out of her mind breath. They were just staring up at the sky! Well, Twilight was staring up at the sky. Rainbow Dash alternating between staring at the sky and staring at Twilight. It would have been adorable, if it wasn’t for the fact that they were definitely not kissing! She had set everything up perfectly, the princess herself had set up the night to be even more beautiful than normal, how could they not be kissing?
There was even a constellation that said KISS THE MARE!
Pinkie sighed. Apparently helping her friends kiss each other was even harder than she thought. She might have to resort to the spaghetti plan after all.
Twilight gave a small shiver, the night air cold even against her fur. Pinkie’s eyes widened to the size of cake platters, as she saw Rainbow Dash tentatively stretch a wing around Twilight. Twilight looked surprised, but smiled happily, scooting closer to Rainbow Dash.
Well, perhaps cuddling under the stars would have to do for now. At least they looked happy. Perhaps, Pinkie Pie wondered, she should just let them go at their own pace? Maybe they didn’t need her help with the smooching.
Or maybe she’d have to get her friends to all play spin-the-bottle tomorrow!
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Hinting at a Rarijack?
So close...
There are no words to describe in how many ways that is a bad idea...
And would you look at that? I was the first view on this chapter!
I like cartoony Pinkie too... but can i still pelt you with stale doughnuts? I've never done that before and it sounds like fun!
There seems to be a missing line of dialogue between Mrs. Cake and Pinkie. Just thought I'd bring it to your attention.
4662975
Huh, how odd. Fixed, and thanks for pointing that out!
I was actually gonna start pestering you for updates, and now I don't have to.
Well, at least not for this fic. There's still another multi-chaptered story I can nag you about~
I really like how you portray Pinkie here. It's refreshing to not just see the loltehrandumb Pinkie with a fourth wall joke every second paragraph (though you were cutting it close with the "operation TwiDash" stuff lol).
This is how Pinkie should be written, as a silly pony, and not just a vessel for leepicmaymays.
4666371
What story would that be?
4668167
Thanks, glad I wrote Pinkie Pie to your tastes. Tis a hard balance to strike with Pinkie Pie. I've definitely gone overboard with her before. On a completely unrelated note, dat commission you did for the twidashlove blog
4662308
Heh, maybe a bit. While I don't plan on there being any actual Rarijack in this story, I do love that ship.
4662310
Y'know what? Go for it. I don't think I've ever been pelted with stale doughnuts before, so I feel like I'm missing out on a life experience.
4668630
Oh, I dunno, maybe a fun little story about how a certain pony regales her three kids with the tale of how she met their mothers.
Let me just tell you that I really liked how you wrote pinkie here
One thing about Pinkie's first plan while well done, i think she should at least feel bad for making Twilight have an allergic reaction, it's not fun to go through.
Also it may only be Pinkie's imagination with the constellation that says "Kiss the mare" you'd think Twilight would have seen it and questioned it.
Good chapter looking forward to more.
~Tobben
There we go XD
You did Pinkie really well.
Pinkie does ship names.
Also,
Please do it! I can't wait
I would love to see this continue, it's been a fun read.