• Member Since 22nd Oct, 2011
  • offline last seen Jun 7th, 2013

Pecan Pallet


T

(before MLP s2 ep.13)
For hundreds of years, Earth ponies, Pegasi and unicorns have lived together in the land of Equestria. They lived in harmony together, whether it was work or sharing something that they had, they would gladly help each other. Some may think these ponies live a great life, living side by side, almost inseparable. But... in a way, the races where separated. There was no law saying so, but it was just how thing played out. No one said you couldn't, because they never had too. This invisible wall that secretly separates the races was, in fact, the races themselves. It was Natural law that split up the three races. Earth Ponies only married other Earth ponies. Pegasus only married other Pegasus. Unicorns only married other Unicorns. Other creatures may have opposing ideas on this, but this was a natural law. It was normal to only love one of the same races. To only embrace one of the same races. this is how things are... Heck, you didn't think of it as anything, because, well, you never needed too. You, like every earth pony like yourself, believed that you would fall for another earth pony. The same goes to Pegasus and Unicorns, only the same race. But, one rainy day, you bump into your, soon to be, soul mate. Problem? She is a Pegasus and you're not. how can you cope finding your true love, but could never show those true feelings? and if she feels the same, how will others act? and what about that Orange Mare that secretly adorse you? what are you going to do? you don't know, you may never know. You may not know what just happened to you or what was yet to come. You don't know where you were or how you got in this predicament.

But one things for sure, You have found something very special. You found a sacred place, where a Pegasus met an Earth pony; Where the Earth meets the Sky.


(note: please keep an open mind when reading the story, I know there is pegasus on unicorn and Earth ponies on alicorns, but i'm trying to make a story! keep you shippings to yourself. ontop of that, I will most likely NOT have lemons. Especially combustible lemons. also i FAIL at second person, but i was trying something new, and i didn't have a real story for the main character. until now, of course.)

*not done with cover*

Chapters (6)
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Comments ( 14 )

Definitely a good read right here, some spelling mistakes here and there but totally understandable. I am very interested to see where this is going. Great job!

The story itself is unique and interesting, but the problem here that will keep me from giving it the high score it deserves is the horrendous spelling and grammar.

I would highly recommend getting someone with a good grasp of both to look over your story so that these problems can be fixed.

27463

ya, I know i suck at spelling, i'll try fixing it, but thanks for the input.:pinkiehappy:

27420

thanks :pinkiehappy:
i'm still pritty new at fan fiction but i'll get better... hopefully:derpytongue2:

I love it...cant wait for the next chapter

Hey, I still love this story, but there were a few mistakes. These are just simple spelling errors, and I mean no offense to your writing abilities as a story teller.

"It’s just that AJ always has truckloads of them after winter, forcing her to speed sell or simply through them out" - the correct word is "throw".

“Let get outside, A few rays of sunlight will do us good.” This is Ironic, - just capitalized it, not sure if intentional or not.

Crestfallen, the Mare - Just wondering if you wanted to capitalize mare.

Ears perking up, thoughts of Sweet harmony - Just need to capitalize as well.

Those are all I found, sorry if I over stepped my boundries. :fluttershyouch: I really love this story and can't wait to read what happens next! :heart:

38039
Happy you like it, Viper! :ajsmug:

38075
It's fine, Azarune, I did ask for it anyways.:derpytongue2: it helps a lot. I'm not a good writer and the stories are the only thing in my life, so it's all good.

I've had the capitalization prob. it's like a habit. the faster you tell me, the faster i get it fixed.:pinkiesad2: even when it hurts, it helps. :twilightsmile:

Nice to see that you are continuing this story; I was worried for a few moments that you abandoned it.
A few comments:
The shift in POV threw me for a loop somewhat. I'm not sure why you decided to jump out of second person so suddenly without a definitive reason (is there one)?
Also, I think you are doing a great job with the characterizations, but I could use a bit more showing and less telling. This applies to the first chapter especially, when you described Terra with great detail. The detail is great, but let the reader discover characterization through plot content.

Grammar: it's somewhat of an issue
inpatient: a person who stays at a hospital for treatment; I think you meant "impatient"
Capitalization, especially at the beginning of dialogue.
Other stuff I'm feeling too lazy to point out right now.

64109 thanks for your input. every hurtfull comment will help me get better and better.

I was trying something new with this, so i didn't expect to nail it on the head. this will help me because I was going to re-type Ch.1. :moustache: I'm not a Good writer, but I'm not a bad one, either.

besides, this is very informational, I like it. thanks!:twilightsmile:

64877
Nah, you're not a bad writer. You just need experience and refinement.

I think a bad writer is one who lacks emotional and physical ideas, or a proper way to convey them through story telling. A bad writer is someone who doesn't have anything important to say, or wouldn't know how to say something if he/she had an actual idea.

And holy crap; I didn't mean to sound hurtful or anything. Just somewhat critical. Hurtful makes me feel like I was trying to degrade your work, which isn't the case at all. :twilightsmile:

Keep up the good work, stay inspired, keep reading quality literature, and I promise you that you will become a more effective writer.

65019 hehe, thanks. it's fine, I didn't feel degraded at all. I don't see it as a negitive, anyways. it just means others like it enough to care.

but thanks for clearing that up, i feel better. :raritywink:

I still love this story
and if I pulled anything, its the LoZ reference

173767 I'm happy you still like it. this is the most support I got from my stories. thanks.:heart:

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