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twilightsparkle3562


I am a young man from Massachusetts with Autism who enjoys MLP, Disney and writing!


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Ever since her encounters with the Plunderseeds and Lord Tirek, Twilight had been left with emotional scars from both events and Celestia offers her words of wisdom to help overcome them.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )
Comment posted by i_am_the_jam deleted Aug 5th, 2014
Comment posted by twilightsparkle3562 deleted Aug 5th, 2014

I just love it when Twilight and Celestia are together like this

I'm not a fan of this story. There is quite a bit of awkward language, and the story feels kind of disjointed. But that's not exactly remarkable. The big problem I have with this story is this:

Twilight could see that there was indeed a reason to why Celestia was so remorseful when she brought up the night of Luna’s banishment. After all, Twilight heard Celestia scream in agony when Nightmare Moon had struck her in that spot.

This implies that the reason that Celestia is remorseful when the topic of Luna's banishment comes around is because Celestia got hurt in the fight with Nightmare Moon. That immediately ripped me out of the story.

re·morse noun \ri-ˈmȯrs\
: a feeling of being sorry for doing something bad or wrong in the past : a feeling of guilt

There is certainly a reason for Celestia to feel remorseful when thinking of the night of Luna's banishment, but it has everything to do with banishing her own sister for a thousand years (which may have been the right thing to do, but it would be normal to feel guilty for doing that, and guilty for letting it get to the point where there was no other option), and nothing to do with getting hurt in the process. Implying that Celestia feels remorse for getting that scar (or for the pain suffered while fighting Nightmare Moon) implies...well, I'm not sure what it implies. A terrifying level of narcissism and vanity? Nothing good, that's for sure. But even if a different word expressing regret or sorrow was used, I'd still be uncomfortable with this. I just can't see anything about that fight, as portrayed in canon, eclipsing the fact that that was when Celestia lost her sister for a thousand years in Celestia's mind.

So far so good. -reads to the end- aaaaaand Season 5 begins. They should actually have this as their prologue for Season 5. A way to get more in depth with the characters. Minus the scar though because this is a "kids show". Really? Have your seen the majority of the audience Hasbro? The writers are getting it as seen in the Season 4 finale. Anyways I do love the story. As for this.

Twilight could see that there was indeed a reason to why Celestia was so remorseful when she brought up the night of Luna’s banishment. After all, Twilight heard Celestia scream in agony when Nightmare Moon had struck her in that spot.

I halfly (that's not a word) agree with Snowy. But I believe he failed at grasping what you were saying. I think I get it. I just think you worded it wrong. But I really love these kinds of stories. I'm trying to get my story on here but I cant find a good beginning for it. Oh well. "Right-e-o then!"

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