• Member Since 18th Apr, 2014
  • offline last seen Aug 6th, 2019

SeasonTheWiccan


A Wiccan's temples are flowered-splashed meadows, forests, beaches and deserts. Blessed be!

T

A sequel to Instant Mom!

Cumulus is now 18 years old and ready to graduate. But, her mother has done so much for her...what could she do to show her that she appreciated all that she had done for her? When she learns that Rainbow once had a dream to get into the Wonderbolts, she sees her chance to see her mother happy. Rainbow accepts the offer, seeing that Cue isn't a baby anymore; with the rest of the mane 6 watching Cumulus she feels like she's all set to take care of herself while her mother is away with the aerial team for performances. Right?

I hope this will satisfy fans of the first story!
Cover art done by Roxanne10

This is now rated Teen because of some content that will be featured later on, I won't spoil it for you but when you do read it I hope you can forgive me.

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Chapters (14)
Comments ( 243 )

(Turns into M. Bison) YES YES. A sequel to one of my favorite fanfics

The original was very well constructed, I had honest moments where my heart strings were tugged at. That said the original had a few simple grammatical errors, so I recommend giving the coming chapters a once over and having some trusted friends and fellow authors look over the chapters for possible errors.

If she's faster than rainbowdash, can she preform a sonic rainboom?

This is shaping up to be a very intreguing sequel... I can't wait to see what happens to Cumulus. :rainbowkiss::raritystarry:

An interesting start. I look forward to seeing this further:twilightsmile:

OMG best chapter congrats on the sequel by the way can't wait for more!!!!:D

Well this chapter answered my question.

Your great at writing these stories! :P -bartorzech21 from youtube :P:derpytongue2:

Pretty sure attacking Cue like that will land Diamond Tiara in serious legal trouble. Especially since she started it all and Cue was trying to walk away.

4604796 Good point, I'll call the lawyers

short updates and wow, Tiara.. hope you like jail time.

4604796 Problem is that since Diamond has access to her father's accounts and resources, which he should at least lock her out of for few months to teach her about good business practices if not a punishment, she will try to milk the system for every loophole in the book, which means if she is found guilty she'll most likely just get a slap on the hoof and nothing more without evidence and witnesses to prove she was the aggressor.

4609814
Except that Filthy Rich has proven to be quite reasonable and has disciplined Diamond before(though it clearly hasn't had an effect), plus she attacked Cue in front of a big crowd of ponies a good portion of which aren't likely to be intimidated and/or bribed into silence. Of course DT won't go down without a fight, but she'll end up with some lasting punishment.

Oh yes, diamond. I can TOTALLY see your father supporting your decision to beat up a blind pony. I don't see ANYTHING wrong with that.:ajbemused:

Yeah right. Even rich will see how fucked up in the head you are for doing that. Don't be surprised if he puts you in counselling.

Also, just as a side note, if YOUR mother had been in dash's situation with you, I have no doubt she'd have just dumped you in an orphanage and never thought twice about it.


Cadance: scootaloo. How can you say such a thing?

Me: mom, have you READ this Fic? The diamond tiara here's an absolute crazy assed bitch!

Cadance: I do not condone that kind of... Oh, my. This tiara really is a bitch.

4611654
Definately agreed, Autum/Scootaloo.:derpytongue2: Wait, what happened to Discord?:trixieshiftright:

Damn it! Why does there have to be a sequel? My heart can only take so much fluff.

I noticed few spelling errors, but other than that I found this chapter enjoyable. You know it doesn't hurt to have a friend or family proofread for little errors, otherwise might feeling a little:derpytongue2: afterward when someone points it out enough times. But this was still very nice to read:pinkiehappy: even if it was a little sad hearing how Rainbow's nightmares were going:raritycry:

Aaawww what a cute ending I'm glad diamond is gone for now but I can't stop thinking on what bit's gonna do to cue :(

DIAMOND'S IN JAIL XD
*Brings out champagne*
LETS PARTY

Well DT, you finally landed yourself in a mess that your parents' money won't pull ya out of. Too bad Shiny Bit has his head just as far up his rump as her; it likely won't be long before the town sheriff hauls him off to the pokey as well.

Ha! Justice at last! Though, since I'm sure rainbow's told rich about bit treating cue so badly, he should have then turned to bit just as he thought about revenge and said, "and don't you do anything to cumulus for this, bit. This is all tiara's own fault. Do not retaliate, son. I don't want to have to put both of my children in prison."

I want to like it, but there are to many grammer mistakes, the paceing is way off, and I don't feel like there enough charcter of Cue to want to get invested in. It's like the short 'Snowdrop' where we do feel emotions, but only because we feel bad for Snowdrop because, she's blind and has no friends, cry for her.
I'd go in more details, but I'll leave it up to you for how badly you want to improve and how much you care for your writting before I press on.

I like where you're heading but you've made Cue a bit too much of a goodie-goodie. I'd like to see more Dash in her or Im going to start rooting for Diamond and Bit soon.

4622636 I'm mostly inspired by novels by this author I like called Sarah Dessen, but I will try my best

LOVE this chapter can't wait for autum to
ask out cue aaaaa!!! the emotions :D

I've been reading the first five chapters you've posted and I'm really liking it so far. Keep up the good work. If the first one was beautiful, then this is going to be even more beautiful.:ajsmug::raritywink::twilightsmile:

I'm keeping an eye on shiny and gem. I don't trust them. They were too cool with the fact that they didn't get that.:trixieshiftleft:

The spit hoof bump. Aj and rainbow would be proud:ajsmug::rainbowdetermined2:

Comment posted by Autum Breeze deleted Jul 2nd, 2014

I was a big fan of the first story, I'm still enjoying this one but I worry Cue is venturing into Mary Sue territory. She's valedictorian, and she's a great flyer and cloud buster, he arch nemesis has been dispatched with one fell swoop, and it appears that her friend has a crush on her, which seems like a good thing. Yes she's blind but that doesn't appear to be causing her any problems. Stories thrive on conflict, it becomes hard to root for Cue when all she does is win.

4637663 Trust me, when I get further in I'll be addressing this

Ah, much better. Great charcter conflict, no more Mary Sue for Cue :)

4647682 You just needed to give me some time. :raritywink:

4647682 i didn't think cue was mary sue to begin with...

Aww! Cue got sick! :pinkiesad2:

"Sorry, Mom...I'm just...in a lot of pain right now and..."

She then felt something rising up her throat, "Uh oh!"

"What?"

"Salmon's comin' back upstream!"

Rainbow quickly got a trash can and held it in front of Cue while she threw up pretty much everything in her stomach. Rainbow petted her mane and massaged her back as she threw up, "Don't hold it back, it'll only make it worse."

"Ugh, things today just went from fantastic to horrible all in one d-" she was interrupted by another puking spell.

"Ssh...talk later, okay?"

Now I think I'm going to be sick. :pinkiesick:

I have a crazy theory about who cue's mom is, y'all just bare with me; she has a similar color patten, is a gifted flyer, and probably couldn't raise her due to her career, and probably a sad jerk. Or she was financially unable to take care of cue, and is a sweet heart. I am not 100%, just pretty sure.

4661084 You're going to find out later...I don't want to spoil things :rainbowwild:

I hope Cue's plan works because, if not, there will be hell to pay.

Not bad then, you could do with a pre-reader, but I'll save judgement for what's happening next.

Ugh poor Cue. But at least Dash has a date with Soarin

"What in the name of Celestia are you doing here *Cue? Does your Mom know you're here?"

*Need comma here

"Look* what my Mom doesn't know wont hurt her."

*Comma here

"Alright, Cue* I think it's time we got you home."

*and here

"Are you mad *Mom?" Cue asked.

*also here

He nodded, "Come on *Cue* just stay awake."

*Here and here, and I think you get the idea. :moustache:
Also, better, but I feel this chapter was a bit rushed. How about this, by the end of this story, write, at least, a 4000 word long chapter. 8000 if you can help it.

4700268 it be good practice for you. I'm sure you can find something where a lots going on. How about in at least a ch. where Cue and Autaum fall I. Love

Oh no! I knew it! Dang it, Cue :facehoof:

BTW, I found two things that needed to be correct:

"I wanted to talk to you about it a.s.a.p! Besides, I would've had to get through bodyguards just to ask you."

A.S.A.P should all capitalized.

Rainbow put one of Cue's forelegs around neck and suuported her up the stairs to her room.

I don't know if that was a typo, but you put two Us and forgot to add another P in support.

Overall, good chapter. I just can't believe that Cue got drunk. :facehoof:

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