Crystal Chris's Heart
It was already dusk when I’d finally finished forming my escape tool, a long spear with a hooked point; just long enough to reach out and unhook the keys which were conveniently placed across from my cell. Once I’d finished making the tool and almost collapsed from exhaustion, normally I wouldn’t be this exhausted but since I’d used negative thoughts instead of positive ones I needed to be careful not to let them overwhelm my mind and take control.
This meant I needed to only allow one at a time to travel through my heart as to not corrupt it.
Standing from the wet stone floor I went to the bars and stuck the hook through. I missed the keys on my first three tries but managed to securely hook them on the fourth before yanking them over to me, the hooked staff disappearing as they slid into my cell.
“Dirty, Dirty, magic.” I shuddered while speaking to myself, the voices in my head were returning although this time they spoke mainly about fear of the human that was obviously myself and how I’d appeared from the crystal heart like legend predicted; a legend that for some reason I knew I’d written.
Scooping the keys up from the floor I silently unlocked my cell and slid the door open, poking my head out to make sure no guards were around I began my trip towards the stairs, freedom and revenge; my left eye remained a light red while the other had returned to normal.
Making my way down the damp and dark corridor I noticed one other cell that was occupied, I decided against my better judgement to go over and check it out; curiosity got the better of my eight year old mind.
I came right up to the bars and peeked inside the cell which was completely black except for two green eyes that stared straight back at me, I knew those eyes, I hated those eyes, and I needed to kill those eyes. I got into a fighting stance and started to force magic into my heart because behind those bars was the very creature I’d been brought back to eliminate; at least that’s what I thought as both my eyes turned a deep green; like seaweed.
---------->>>Meanwhile<<<----------
“Cadence, Darling are you sure we should’ve locked that human up? He seemed to know Celestia” A pale white unicorn spoke as he followed his wife down the large crystalline halls towards the throne room.
“Shining I was certain that the human would’ve caused more trouble than fixed” Cadence replied without giving her husband a second glance, “Plus he made a very rude comment about Auntie Celestia that I cannot take sitting down.”
“What did he say?” Shining Armour asked striding up so he was matching the same haste filled pace that his wife was taking.
“Do I need to entertain you with this?” Cadence asked with a sigh. “Why is Celestia’s flank so red and sore… because she has a sun on her butt.”
Shining had to stifle a laugh at the simple immaturity of having his wife say something so foalish “I’m sure ‘it’ was just joking around, how old was ‘it’.”
“The human was around the size of the last recorded human and looked to be just exiting his adolescent years.”
“Really? Well he definitely was either immature or crazy.” Shining responded with a shrug as they entered the throne room which was completely empty.
“Listen Shining” Cadence started. “I’m sorry for being a bit cold hearted at the moment but it’s just this human appearing right after Sombra was defeated is wracking my nerves, plus I’m exhausted from keeping that shield up.”
Shining trotted over and placed a foreleg around Cadence; pulling her into a tight hug. “It’s perfectly understandable but just promise me you won’t punish him for appearing out of nowhere and making a joke… regardless of whether or not it was foalish.”
“I’ll try to be more understanding in the future” Cadence promised, although she didn’t really mean it after her past encounters with a human; back when she was a filly. Although before she could dwell too much on this the doors were flung open and Celestia stood behind Twilight and her friends.
“Cadence” Celestia spoke, her voice resonating through the entire hall, “We need to talk about this human you found.”
---------->>>Back with our Hero<<<----------
“Step forward you foul monstrosity” I commanded the two green eyes that stared at me with curiosity. “I won’t ask you again” I almost yelled this time, my voice surprising me more so than the creature I was interrogating.
The eyes regarded me for another moment before closing as a deep breathe escaped the figure inside the cell “Very well, I shall come forward” The voice spoke in a feminine tone that was unfamiliar to me. The figure began to move from the back of the cell, taking a little more than a minute as it seemed to be struggling with all its might to move the small distance.
“Are you okay?” I asked as concern took place of my resolve, eyes fading back to their usual emerald green.
“well…” The feminine voice spoke with trouble as it drew closer, “You try being locked in a cell by crystal ponies while unconscious and then having done nothing wrong not being fed for six months.”
“Six months!” I exclaimed out loud and quickly patted myself down in hopes I somehow had picked up any form of food, “Sorry I don’t have any food for you” I apologized while hanging my head.
The figure finally pulled itself into the light and showed off that it wasn’t the pony I had been looking for, she wasn’t even the right gender as it was a mare instead of the stallion I’d been summoned to fight.
The figure instead was a dark grey coated alicorn with a dark cerulean mane; she looked very weak and malnourished, her wings and body seemed to be filled with holes. She lay on the ground and wasn’t able to lift herself causing me to lean down so I was face to face with her.
“You look Delicious” The female spoke as her tongue flicked out and touched my cheek, I recoiled back as she got some life into her eyes “Full of life and love as well” she gave a large smirk.
“Thank… you…” I questioned myself while staring back at the alicorn who was now trying to stand up instead of lying sprawled on the floor, failing and instead deciding to sit up.
“May I feed on you for a while?” she asked with the biggest puppy dog eyes I’d ever seen, although I couldn’t remember if I’d seen any due to my amnesia.
“What do you mean by that?”
“I want to eat some of your love, it won’t hurt you in anyway but it will help me recover my lost power.”
I stared at the mare and began to think this over, “You are probably in here for a good reason, why should I help you escape.”
“You are in here for something as well, so why don’t we help each other. You feed me and I help you escape, treat others how you want to be treated right? Well then I’ll treat you nice if you treat me nice.”
“This is a good conversation, you are very nice, unlike the one I had with my guards earlier” I noted out loud, “I guess I could help you.”
“Excellent” The mare hissed out like a snake, “Queen Chrysalis is the name” Chrysalis spoke while sticking her hoof out through the bar for a shake.
“Chris is my name” I replied and stuck my own hand out taking hold of her hoof.
The moment the two connected I felt her grab onto me, yanking me into the bars where she then leant close and stared deeply into my eyes. I was wondering what she was doing before a soft blue light gathered from my chest and began to flow from my chest towards the alicorn in a single line, entering her mouth as she literally ate my love like a meal.
“Would you like hay fries with that?” I spoke while unable to pull my eyes off hers.
After a few seconds she took on an amazed expression and let go of me, collapsing back onto the ground and beginning to cough “Are… you okay” I wondered while breathless as to what I had just experienced, it felt strange and wrong but at the same time also filled me with a sense of satisfaction I had never known.
“Yes…” Chrysalis stopped herself before erupting into another coughing fit, “Just so potent compared to the previous love I’d consumed which I had thought was the best” she choked out between coughs.
“Oh yeah I probably should’ve mentioned that I have a shard of the Crystal Heart inside me” I laughed while rubbing the back of my head.
“You idiot” Chrysalis laughed while slapping my leg gently from the other side of the bars, “I have to say though, your love tasted amazing.”
I looked around in slight shock, “Thanks… I guess” I spoke while beginning to stand and took the keys that had since fallen from my hand and lay a metre or so away, unlocking the door for my newfound friend or customer.
Chrysalis rose to her feet and trotted out from the cell “You didn’t need to open the doors since I could’ve blasted my way out” she spoke with resentment, almost as if she really wanted to destroy something.
“Time for that later” I turned towards the hall and set my eyes on the stairs “Now we escape,” I began to walk but felt my legs give out from underneath me, the ground rushing towards me.
I would’ve hit the floor if it wasn’t for Chrysalis who to my gratitude had grabbed me with her magic, lifting me up and onto her back when I lay against her fur, it reminded me of something in my past I couldn’t put my finger on.
“What’s happening to me?” I asked in a slurred voice.
“Just after dinner sleepiness, it should pass in a minute or so” Chrysalis stated in a matter of fact tone.
“Well can we sleep for a bit, I’m actually really tired from breaking ou-“ I didn’t stop as my eyes shut and I began to sleep on top of the Alicorn.
Chrysalis looked from me to the stairwell and let a short sigh out, “Alright then human, we can rest for now” she trotted back into her cell and sat down, keeping me close to her so I wouldn’t become cold. “But after this we are even.”
“Okay then” I groaned from my sleep.
Chrysalis lay there pondering one thought in particular, "Just how did you survive the feeding?"
---------->>>Back in the Throne Room<<<----------
“So you say that he appeared the moment that Sombra was defeated?” Princess Celestia was now seated on a cushion and had a glass filled with tea in front of her, Cadence sat opposite to her and was seated in a similar manner; the seven other ponies were gathered around the table.
“Yes, he dropped out of nowhere and caused a massive commotion” Cadence replied while drinking from her own cup of tea. To the side of Cadence stood Twilight who was avoiding eye contact as Cadence spoke, since she had watched the boy appear and knew that he hadn’t caused as big a commotion as Cadence said.
“How exactly did he cause a commotion?” Celestia asked, picking up on Twilight’s uneasiness and deciding she would capitalize on it later.
“When he appeared he summoned a weapon and was half naked, not to mention he scared all the ponies who had just been freed from Sombra’s hold” Cadence responded in a friendly tone.
“What about you Twilight?” Celestia turned her attention to her student, “You were the one who told me about this human, how would you describe him in your own opinion?”
Twilight gasped silently and looked between her sister in-law and her mentor, unable to decide which one she should answer to. “Well…” She started before stopping.
“Come ah’n Darlin, Yah know yah can tell us” AppleJack spoke from beside Celestia, she had removed her hat in respect for royalty and held it to her chest.
“Yeah come on Twi” Rainbow Dash added before giving Twilight a small push.
“Well I guess he didn’t do anything other than lay on the ground” She began while looking around the table, “Then he tried to stand but was unable to.” Twilight looked up at her mentor “So he summoned some magic, which was supposed to be impossible for humans.” She noted that her mentor held a look of happiness and enjoyment, “So he summoned an ethereal staff and tried to lift himself but just as he was about to stand… Cadence subdued him” Twilight flinched away from the table, afraid of Cadence and Celestia blowing up at her.
“That is most interesting, very different from Cadence’s story” Celestia noted, “Although Cadence was probably too exhausted to be thinking like a proper princess at the time.”
“Yes that would probably be why I acted the way I did” Cadence spoke in the same friendly tone, deep down though she was fuming about how her own sister in-law would sell her out, especially when she knew that this human was connected to Sombra. “But… he did make a crude joke about you Celestia.”
“Oh really?” Celestia raised a brow, “What joke was this?”
“A really immature one that insults you” Cadence replied.
“Why is Celestia’s flank so red and sore… because she has a sun on her butt” Twilight added with a small laugh.
The table went deathly quiet, that was until Twilight, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and AppleJack burst out laughing, unable to hold in the laughter that was an immature joke.
Celestia however was holding a stunned expression “Take me to this human.”
Cadence seemed to be more pleased now “Of course, glad you realize just why I disliked this-”
“Take me NOW!” Celestia almost commanded, a small fire burning in her eyes.
“Of course” Cadence replied, more docile now than before as she got up and began to lead Celestia towards the dungeon.
---------->>>Back in the Cell<<<----------
I sat up with a small content groan and stretched my limbs out “What a great sleep” I remarked with a smile, behind me Chrysalis had one eye open and let a loud yawn out.
“Can I have a rest now?” she asked, still half asleep.
“Nope, time to escape together” I laughed while standing and helping her up from the ground.
“Okay then Chris.”
“Time to run” I laughed before jumping out of the cell and beginning to dash towards the stairs, “Race yah.”
I looked behind me and found that Chrysalis hadn’t budged from the cell and instead was staring at something in front of me in pure horror, I had no idea what it was until it hit me or rather I hit it… literally.
I fell to the floor with a thud and shook my head to clear my thoughts “What did I hit?” I wondered out loud and looking up I took notice of the large Alicorn princess standing at the bottom of the stairs.
“This is the human I take it” she spoke in a very familiar voice; I leant around while trying to get a look at her flank to determine if she was who I remembered and then my eyes set on it, the sun that stood on her flank symbolising her as Celestia.
“Hey it’s Burnt Butt” I joked while standing up and staring up at the sun goddess.
Celestia stood there holding a poker face which lasted until I stared at her long enough for the joke to set in and she began laughing out loud, snorting like a pig. “Chris, it’s been way to long” she laughed before lifting me up and close to her so I could wrap my arms around her in either a chokehold or a hug… I chose the hug, mostly due to how I hadn’t seen her in an unknown period of time.
“How long’s it been since I joked about your butt?” I spoke as tears began to flood my eyes, “I missed you the second most.” I cried out into her mane behind her I could hear a chorus of ponies, each voicing their own thoughts of the scene playing out before them.
“A millennia” Celestia choked out as she had begun to cry as well, “How I wish your mother was still here to see you.”
I stopped crying in happiness and began to cry in sadness at the mention of how I would never see my mother again, “NOoooooo Momm…” I began to cry into her coat, soaking the fur and causing it to stick to her.
“It’s okay Chris” Celestia tried to sooth my crying form “She died at an old age, happy and proud of you.”
Everything Celestia said was lost to me as I grieved over the fact I’d never see any of my friends or relatives again, regardless of the fact I was raised by ponies instead of humans. I was about to lose myself to the sadness and allow the voices inside my head to take over, but luckily for my own sanity and everyone’s wellbeing a figure stepped out from the shadows behind me.
“Chris” she called in a voice that caused my tears to stop immediately and leap from Celestia’s grasp to locate the sound of the voice. Landing on the ground I felt the shock of such a solid landing wrack my body but I paid no mind as my mother stepped out of one of the cells. Her ruby coat was gleaming in the candlelight, her mane fiery red and sending fractals around the room.
“Mom?” I called out while starting to walk.
“Yes Sweetie, come and give your mother a hug” she called as I broke into a sprint and leapt into her arms, fresh tears sprouting forth.
Once we had hugged for a good several minutes and my tears had settled down I began to wonder where my Love eating friend had disappeared off to.
“Hey mom did you see Chrysalis anywhere?” I wondered once I had a solid grip on my mother.
“She left just before I came down” My mother replied.
“No Chris that mare is…” Celestia stopped short when she noticed how happy I was to be held in my mother’s forelegs, regardless of whether they were really hers or not. I turned around to look at Celestia “She is your favourite mother.”
“Come on Sweetie I think it’s time we got out of this dark and gloomy dungeon, plus you are rather heavy.”
“Okay then mom and sorry, I guess I grew a lot since the last time we met” I laughed while removing myself from the arms of my mother and dashing towards the stairs. “Come on mom I want to go see the house” I ran past the rest of the ponies and up the stairs, my chest was glowing a brilliant purple colour.
The moment I was gone Celestia stomped towards the illusion of my mother “How’d you get the image of his mother?” she demanded. “Also why are you here!”
Chrysalis shifted back into her normal Alicorn form and just grinned at Celestia, “He fed me his love after I was locked in here by the crystal ponies.”
Everyone gasped in the dungeon “You mean he let you feed from him?” Cadence asked “And he’s still alive.”
Chrysalis just grinned more “Amazing isn’t it, Sombra used changeling’s to kill all the humans off because they couldn’t live through being fed on, yet he easily takes it and only needs to sleep afterwards.” Chrysalis looked to the ceiling with an ecstatic look “Plus he tasted simply exquisite.”
Chrysalis started to walk past Celestia but was stopped by a hoof “You stay in his mother’s form whenever he is around and acclimatize him to Equestria, at least until he comes to terms that you aren’t actually his mother.”
“I guess I could do that”
“NO NOT I GUESS, YOU WILL DO IT” Celestia boomed. “Did you see how he was acting when he realized his mother had died, he was about to lose it and go insane because of the voices.”
“Voices?” Everypony questioned at the same time.
“The crystal shard inside him focuses the thoughts of all the ponies in the crystal empire through his head, most of the time they don’t cause him any strife.” Celestia glanced away from all the ponies in the room “But sometimes if he is experiencing a giant influx of negative emotions it can destroy his sanity.”
“You say this like you’ve seen it before?” Cadence questioned.
“I have.”
“When?” Chrysalis interrupted, having now turned back into Chris’s mother, “Also what’s this mare’s name?”
“Her name was Clara… Just Clara” Celestia swallowed hard before looking behind herself at the ponies.
“So when did this last happen?”
Celestia took a deep breath and gave everypony one last look before speaking.
“When his human family left him on the side of the road to die because of his crystal heart.”
So...
The pony foster mother has a human name, that bugs me a little.
Second, who the hell is Jesse?
Third, even despite Chris's tears I'm surprised that Celestia didn't reveal Chrysalis immediately.
In fact, why hasn't any pony become wary of her, much less let her roam free?
Next, anyone else find it strange as to why Chrysalis was in Cadence's dungeon?
There are several grammar and spelling errors but that's always expected.
Other than just about everything I have listed, I find fine.
This story is rough, WAY rough, but it still looks interesting.
I await the next chapter.
4569068 small mistake on my part, different story character, thanks for pulling it up even though I could've sworn I word checked for it. Also I'll try to provide more answers in upcoming chapters and not just leave random stuff out
Oooh! I like this! Good job sir! You've got my favorite.
Just a quick FYI: the possessive of the name Chris is simply Chris'. No additional "S" at the end
caught my attention, patiently waiting for more
Great origanel story. Can't wait to see where this goes
Really, how is this a problem for ponies? They're naked almost all the time.
4569696 there used to be humans in the crystal empire so there would be records that they usually wore clothing. So it would be awkward if the first human appeared half naked.
I do see your point however
well now....got a new story to look forward to now.
keep it up.
I'm going to keep my eye on this, it seem like it can go great.
I love it!!!!
Must..... Have...... More.......
37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6rshhM7kn1rzhv5ho1_500.gif
4569256
Actually, that's not entirely true. While you never put an S after the apostrophe with plural words (ponies' for example), you can do it either way with singular words that end in an S. So Chris' and Chris's are both correct, as long as the author is consistent.
As for the story, it's an interesting idea, but I'm really not enjoying it. The biggest problem is that most of the characters are acting like idiots for no clear reason. Chris can have a pass because of his age, but you have given no good reason for Cadance, the princess of love, to immediately attack him and toss him in jail. And then Chrysalis, when she had the opportunity to escape, just sat in the cell and waited for Chris to sleep. Speaking of Chrysalis, there is absolutely no way she could have been imprisoned in the Crystal empire for six months.
So I'm sorry, but this story is getting a definite downvote from me.
4569109
Awesome, if you can clear it up next chapter then things would be great. :)
And for some reason, it's starting to look like that Cadence is turning into a villain or something... I mean, she's starting do do a bit a mean stuff like during the Canterlot wedding and Chrysalis was impersonating her.
Just pointing it out, she has abnormal behavior.
Anyway, carry on.
4570224 Chris's is the proper way of writing it according to British English. Chris' is correct in US English. From what he's written, he's going for a more US version. Granted, he's mixed up the rules here and there, but the majority is US.
Must wait for more, at least I have things to do while I wait for the next chapter of this, and good job, I like this very much, really can't wait for more
Fav and liked, but please, please, use full stops or comma's!
I believe this picture accurately describes my feelings towards this story
ih3.redbubble.net/image.15983767.8969/fc,550x550,white.jpg
Great introduction and development, cant wait to see what comes up next.
4570719
Are you sure about that? I've wondered if it's one of those British vs American things, but I've never seen any evidence for the idea or any source that confirms it.
But either way, I still say it's okay as long as it's consistent.
HOLY SWEET CELESTIA I LOVE THIS STORY!!! Plz continue this!
SunButt becoming a SunBro,why not
Great story,but I want moar.
They left him to die? Woah, now that's Cold.
4571663 If they left him to die, why would he care if she was alive and caring?
4572146 “When his human family left him on the side of the road to die" HUMAN the form that Chrysalis took was of the pony that raised him as his adoptive mother.
4572384 okay, then here's another question. Why is there no Queen Chrysalis tag? She obviously is going to be a main character. Unless its just sombra in disguise, but that would be ridiculous.
Wait, that's all the chapters? NO, I want more, I nEeD mOrE!!! Hahahaha*crazy laugh*hahahaha
Alright, so I read this fic and now it's time for an honest opinion of what I saw. No offense meant to the author, but I may get a little heavy on some points. Take what I write as a grain of salt.
Wow, what can I say? The idea is actually unique. Something that is seldom seen on this site. I know that I've never read a premise like this before and I find it rather refreshing. Now, having said that. I think this fictions could use a lot of work. I'm not going to say that the grammar is horrible. Hell, i'm not really in a position to judge others on grammar. So i'm going to hit you with what I think is the biggest problem with this fanfic.
Consistency. Yes, consistency. Not to be confused with pacing. Consistency is based on the world you've created and also the universe the fic resides. Brother, you've got major consistency problems going on here. Allow me to get down and dirty with this one.
Largest flaw, Chrysalis. How and the hell did she get into the crystal dungeon?! You need to keep in mind that Chrysalis was annexed from Equestria after her attack on Canterlot. An attack I might add did not happen until the finale of season 2! The empire didn't come back to Equestria till the start of season 3 and it could be speculated that episode didn't happen for a few months. So how did she get to a place that was actually locked away by Sombra's dark powers? That is a very large plot hole and i'm interested in how you could possibly explain how it happened.
The second flaw I see in character consistency. While I know that many people have their own head canon of characters. There are just some versions that don't makes sense when you don't lead them to your personal head canon. Case in point, Celestia. I think is largely accepted that she is a motherly type and very calm and collected. Even in the worst of situations. What I find rather inconsistent is this particular reaction.
I know this may seem small to some reader, but to me this came off rather jarring. Taking in the whole scene, I couldn't help but feel this part was off. Why was she angry? Did she not like the fact a friend was locked in the dungeon? That Cadance was acting rather hostile towards him? We don't know, because you never tell us why.
I would’ve rather preferred a reaction like this. She hears the joke, looks shocked and then teleports to the dungeon. Something as simple as that reaction does two things. Shows the urgency of her actions, as well as how much she must care for this human. It’s also rather consistent to the general view of how Celestia is.
That’s not the only problem. The main character shows large issues in consistency as well. Now I know that is normal for a child, as they are always back and forth. What I don't like however is how his mind set can change from juvenile to an adult like aspect. He will constantly use words that no regular kid would know. Using a thesaurus is cool, but not when you use it on a kids speech pattern.
^ Also, this is called a horizon. I suggest you use them when breaking points in the story. Just use this code [*hr*] Without the *.
There are many other codes that come in handy as well. Such as Italics [*i*][/*i*] . Which I personally use to exaggerate words. "You've got to be kidding me."
Adding small things like that can allow a better reading flow, as well as help you add focus to a word without breaking the pattern.
So, yeah. Other than that I like what I see. I hope this can grow into something interesting, but don't push too hard to get chapters out. I felt this chapter was rather rushed.
4572990 thanks for the huge post man, I read everything just like I do with all posts but most of the time I don't reply because I do it on my phone. What you wrote is definately true in all aspects and I will admit that the second chapter was extremelly rushed because i'll be completely honest right now.
I got really excited that the story was being viewed in such a positive light and it made me feel like I needed to have another chapter out immediately.
Which resulted in a lot of problems as I'd expect the second chapter wasn't nearly as good as the first and left a lot out of the picture.
So I will not take what you wrote with a grain of salt, i'll take it with the whole damn shaker and use it to better the upcoming chapters
this seems very interesting im willing to give it a read
This is new, I like new. Keep it up because I would love to read more of this it seams extremly fun and intersting! I totally want to see what happens next, I'll keep all theorys on the story to myself in the meentime but until then! Keep up the writing!
This story intrigues me and you picture makes me smile.
4571448
We meet again, my Chewed Pencil!
*Bites off cigar end and lights it*
I shall see you on the other side of the reading horizon, eh?
*Jumps off into the eternal abyss of literature*
awesome story bro! Keep writing!
4572990
Take it from an actual horizon, [ hr ] is short for "Horizontal Rule". It's a legacy from the original HTML specification back in the early Internet days.
Okay this story is awesome!! just had to say that and I would really like the next update to come soon so plz?
4576555
Dude. You've been on this site for a lot longer than I have. How can you be surprised that something like this got featured?
There are two reasons, and I'll share them:
1) Most fimfiction readers have no standards.
2) The feature box works with popularity, not quality.
I had decent expectations of this fic but after reading all I can say is:
What. The. Fuck.
Pacing was a little quick and dear god, the consistency was atrocious. Like he was happy, then thrown into a cell and only sad after the guards say anything. Plus, how the fuck did Chrysalis get in the prison? And how did the mother survive? Characters were OOC big time. The only good thing was spelling and grammar
I really don't know how this got featured, then again, I don't know why people like my Chessverse fic
This story could have some potential, but you either need to learn hoew to edit or need to hire an editor. There are so many grammar and spelling errors that it's cumbersome to read.
i feel like the only things keeping me from enjoying this are the grammar and spelling, and how unbelievable the plot is. cadence wouldnt get THAT mad over a small joke. if chris said he knows celestia she would more likely than not immediately take him to celestia to confirm this. i also feel like 1000 years would have changed his 8 year old ways, regardless of the fact that he was sleeping most of the time. he CAN hear voices from inside the crystal heart after all. other than those complaints it's a good concept, but it doesnt exactly deserve a thumbs up or a thumbs down. i hope you dont take my review to offense because this story does have a lot of potential, it just needs a lot of tweaking is all.
i'm also giving it a favorite so i can track your progress on this story because like i said, it has potential and i hope to see that potential reached.
...Wow. The kid is bipolar. His mood changes faster than a woman on her period. He need help.
Wow only two chapters and I'm already hooked, I want more of this!!
4581277 he has part of the crystal heart as his heart, his being is dependent on strong emotions.
4581277 he has part of the crystal heart as his heart, his being is dependent on strong emotions.
I'm a chocolate bar, Who knew right
Was good, but then it was ¬_¬ meh