• Member Since 14th Dec, 2012
  • offline last seen May 22nd, 2016

Arkybrony


I'll erase it and rewrite it with nonsensical surrealism and an overwhelming sense of presence. I'm also on YouTube and Tumblr (same username).

T

In this story, Pinkie Pie forgets to take her medicine and becomes oddly sophisticated.
*READ BELOW*
This is a fic I wrote a while back, and I decided to take it down after some people claimed it was offensive, along with other factors, but I believe enough time has passed to bring it back.

*It is NOT my intention to offend anyone or make fun of anyone with a mental disease, depression, etc. I was actually on depression meds when I wrote this story. This is all for comedic purposes, and only that. If you feel offended at all, it wasn't my intention to do that. It's all just for comedy. Sometimes comedy gets over-exaggerated and offensive, and this is not my intention. I reposted this so I could properly complete my series of "When..." fanfics, since I am doing one of each of the mane 6, and maybe one of Spike and all of them, I dunno, but this is being reposted so that series can be completed. Again, it was not my intention to insult or offend anyone, and I'm sorry if I did*

Part 1 of the "When" One Shot series.
I intentionally put a Powerpuff Girls reference in there (and according to one comment, there's an unintentional one too), so tell me if you get the reference.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 23 )

I liked the idea but the execution needs works. To me, you sorta flew right through the story. Seemed to go too fast. even for a one shot. I did l like your zecora though.

I'll bring the chloroform

Whaaaa??? This is offically my favorite story. Just work on pacing!

Ok. Just a few points. One. In the story description it said 'the one day she Dora's but then in the story it'qs said that it went on for a few weeks. Two. This story has an interesting idea behind it but I think it needs to be fleshed out more, like, more details, realer charictors and for when somepony new starts to speak again start a new line (this makes it much easier to read). Great job though keep it up!

4505804 Yeah, when I wrote the months passing thing I was actually considering the fact that the description said "the one day". I guess it means the effects of the one day she takes it. But thanks for reading anyway.:pinkiehappy:

"The fault, dear Rainbow Dash, is not in our stars, but in ourselves."

DID YOU JUST

4510675 yeah, almost everything Pinkie says is a Shakespeare quote (or modified to fit the MLP world)

"So, Pinkie Pah, Whaddaya gonna do next?"
"I'm going to... College to enhance my future knowledge!"
:pinkiegasp:

She stared confused at a portrait of King Raziel while asking Pinkie Pie who it was

No end punctuation.

That's the only grammatical error I see. As for story, you'd think AJ would be able to catch on to Pinkie Pie agree to trying her meds to PP suddenly changing drastically faster than that. As for the PPG reference . . .

. . . was it the Watch Ponies thing? I think I may remember that episode.

4517314 Yeah I tend to forget proofreading.. You should go read the fic that Raziel came from though (if you're up for a fan novel, it's like 100,000 words long). It's called The Prince Returns by Shadowslash101. Now is that a yes or a no if you got the reference?

4518956 100K words? That's nothing. I've read something that sits at 150k words finished, and I'm caught up with one that's at 160k words and ongoing (and the author plans to get it to around a million by the time it's done). I also have Fallout: Equestria on my to-read list, which is over 600k words. I devour 30-50k word fics like they're nothing :rainbowwild: 100k words? That's a good appetizer.

Also, I asked if I got the reference in the spoiler.

4518991 I'm not much of a reader of long stuff like that, but the one I recommended is by someone I actually know (so I'm biased on recommending it), but it's still good anyway. It's my first long fic to read, it's very long for me so I guess I just specified its length because I'm intimidated by long fics like that. I'm on mobile right now so the spoiler is just a thick black line I can't do anything about. I'll check it on a computer as soon a I can.

I assume watch ponies is watch dogs. chicago it's in chicago. neighcago

4539794 Yeah it is. I made it in Vanhoover because there's not really a pony city named after Chicago in the show.

By casually describing the medication as "anti-crazy", you contribute to the ongoing stigma against mental illness in our society. Also, no drug with a neurological effect is going to begin working in less than a day -- you're usually looking at a couple of weeks minimum. You should probably specify that this is something related to magical potions if you want an immediate result.

The Powerpuff girl reference? What about the Fault In Our Stars reference?!?!?!

5346063 Actually, that was a quote from William Shakespeare's Julius Caesar (the actual quote said Brutus, not Rainbow Dash). That's probably where John Green got the name for his book though.

4517314 If that's the only grammatical error you see, you need your eyes AND your brain checked. This story would get a zero in ANY composition class. That's not even taking into consideration all the other problems with this incredibly stupid story.

The garbage that passes moderation these days, I swear...

There is nothing more then I hate is fanfics that not only portray her as a killer, but also fanfics that portray her of needing to be medicated. Yeah how nice being extroverted = needing to be drugged up. Thank you for playing the stereotype that outgoing hyper people always need to be medicated to calm down and that if someone is mentally ill they must be medicated. bravo. I hope you are proud of yourself you must feel big writing something so distasteful.
4587712
this this THIS! this is what i hate! i am tired of people on this website thinking if someone acts a least bit hyper they must be crazy and need to be drugged. i freakin hate that! I have depression so that stereotype really pisses me off.

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I really am sorry for offending anybody. I write comedy fics, so I tend to exaggerate stuff, like Pinkie's "craziness". I really didn't tend to offend anyone, and I'm sorry that I did. More of the story was meant to emphasize the new found sophistication that her character doesn't have. I've been with special-needs people before, and I know it is a serious issue that shouldn't really be made fun of, and it was not my intention to do so with this story. I have had depression before, and I wrote this story while still on medication. I write stuff for comedy purposes, not to make fun of anyone with depression, special needs, or other mental illnesses. Again, writing comedy stuff can tend to lead to exaggeration in bad ways, like this story did, and I am really sorry for offending people. I plan to edit this story or delete it completely to fix my mistakes. Also, I'm terrible at proofreading my own work, but I've gotten better at it, so I will try and fix that when I re-write this. Again, I am very sorry for offending you.

5366543
I understand you meant no harm by it. Comedy can be tricky its really easy to cross the line that's why so many comedies get backlash someone is going to see the line crossed. Its okay you were trying to write a comedy you didn't want to offend anyone so all is forgiven. :scootangel:

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