Generic Shipping Scenes

by TimbukTurnip

Scene 022

“The truth is Dashie… I… I… I love you!”

Upon shouting her confession, Pinkie immediately dropped her gaze to the floor, her eyes seeing nothing as a million different possible replies from the love of her life ran through her head – all of them negative.

Her fears were abated however, when a cyan hoof pulled her head back up and presented her with the smiling and caring face of the mare in front of her.

“I know Pinkie,” said Dash, her smile growing slightly wider. “I love you too.”

The tiny soldiers that operated Pinkie’s mind, powered by the high quantities of sugar she ate which allowed them to be able to process many thoughts incredibly quickly, all came to an abrupt halt as this new information entered their workstation. They all shrugged at one another, unable to come up with a single response. So they told Pinkie to perform her most basic and most common of actions.

Smile.

The result was not a smile at all – it was a beam. A beam that threatened to split her face in two and that set off sparks in her brain, sending the little soldiers back into overdrive.

“Oh Dashie!”

She leapt forward and pressed her lips against those of the pegasus, capturing her in a passionate kiss that was gladly reciprocated as both of their eyes slid closed. As was the case for every couple that shared their first kiss, ponies, nature and the environment all instinctively and immediately froze what they were/it was doing in order to create the appearance that time had stopped around the pair of lovers, before continuing on as if nothing had happened. Next, a microscopic black hole – with the gravitational pull of the largest of supermassive black holes but unable to actually pull anything towards it due to obvious elementary witchcraft – temporarily appeared next to every living being in the universe except for the kissing ponies, effectively slowing down time for everyone but them so that their kiss would feel like it lasted an eternity while only really lasting a few seconds.

The routine performed by the universe for every new couple now completed, the two ponies decided to take their simple kiss further. Their tongues reached out and intertwined, dancing a sensual dance together.

At least, that’s what happened at first. Shortly after it began however, Rainbow Dash noticed the tongue tango was quickly transforming into lollipop tasting – with her tongue being the lollipop. She opened her eyes and raised an eyebrow, noticing what appeared to be a look of concentration on Pinkie’s face. The party pony’s own eyes then opened, her pupils pointing off to an upper corner of her vision, as if trying to remember something.

Rainbow broke the kiss. “Pinkie, what are you doing?”

“Lightning? No… sonic waves maybe?” Pinkie mumbled to herself.

“Pinkie?”

“I’m trying to determine what exactly it is you taste of Dashie,” answered Pinkie, her direction of vision still indicating her to be in deep thought.

“What I… What I taste of?”

“…Fresh air perhaps?” Pinkie absently continued to herself.

“But… none of those things have any taste!”

“…Maybe morning dew?”

“That’s just water! Why not just say water?”

“…The sky?”

“How does a mouth taste of just water anyway? If anything it would taste of saliva.”

“Adventure!” Pinkie exclaimed, bringing her attention back to the pegasus. “That’s what you taste of Dashie – waffles and adventure!”

“Waff- adventure?” echoed Dash incredulously. “You can’t literally taste adventure Pinkie; a ‘taste of adventure’ is just an expression, it’s impossible for it to have an actual flavour.”

Pinkie just shook her head dismissively, a happy smile gracing her features. “Nope, you taste of adventure Dashie! I’m sure of it.”

Rainbow’s hoof met her face in frustration. “But adventure doesn’t have- you know what, nevermind,” she said, her hoof returning to the floor, “you’re just being you. Just… come here and give me a hug would ya?”

Happily obliging, Pinkie wrapped her hooves around Rainbow Dash, burying her face into the multi-coloured mane while its owner placed her head on Pinkie’s shoulder.

Her recent frustration draining away, Rainbow sighed and closed her eyes, content in the arms of the mare she loved.

Until she heard what sounded like the intensive sniffing of a dog.

“Pinkie, what are you doing?” she asked, opening her eyes once more.

“Your mane smells like the wind and Sun, Dashie,” replied Pinkie, taking in a big whiff of the apparent aroma and sighing contently herself.

“Pinkie!” groaned Dash, pushing the pony away so they were looking at each other again. “Those things don’t smell! They can’t smell! The wind may carry certain smells on it, but it doesn’t have its own scent! Neither does the Sun!”

“How do you know? How do you know that Celestia doesn’t add a smell to sunlight?”

“Because that’s impossible!” cried Dash. “Rays of light from the sun come in the form of photons – little packets that exhibit both wave and particle properties – as does every other form of electromagnetic radiation; and just like every other form of electromagnetic radiation, it doesn’t smell! The chemicals that the sun is made up from and fuses together may have their own smell, but if they do, we’re not going to be able to smell them due to the fact that the sun is in space!”

Pinkie Pie blinked. “How do you know all that?”

“Spending a lot of time with Twilight,” answered Dash, waving a hoof dismissively. “She’s either slowly learning that she has a crush on me or already knows it, and so is spending lots of time with me. I am of course too dense to realise it, so we’ll probably have to deal with a love triangle problem in the future, but that’s not important right now!”

“…You know, now that I think about it, Fluttershy’s mane smells of fresh flowers and grace.”

Rainbow simply deadpanned. “Right. I’m off,” she said, turning around and taking to the air, up and away from the pony with the damaged senses. Or brain.

As she reached the cloud layer, a shout was heard from below.

“The flapping of your wings sounds like cupcakes! Dashie!”

Comments

[TimbukTurnip]

I never planned to add a new chapter - though I had toyed with the idea of changing this to just 'Generic Scenes' and taking the piss out of 'Rainbow becomes a big sister/mother figure to Scootaloo' fics. But just yesterday, after reading another story where ponies apparently smell or taste of ridiculous things, I had no choice but to write this. Wish I'd thought of it sooner really.

Most of it was written at 2am, and though I realise that's not particularly late, it had been a long day, so it may be a bit weird.

Oh, and if anyone is wondering about the black hole thing - time is related to gravity, in that the more gravity there is, the slower time flows around it.

[Dusty Sage]

Considering that so much stuff actually in the stores consists largely of cliché manipulation, I can't possibly object to seeing it here, especially when it's identified as such. (My own writing is based on the model established by Professor Peter Schickele in his Quodlibet, a musical composition in which every phrase, every snippet of melody, is swiped from somewhere else.)

[Silverstein]

Ripping ships to pieces! Keep it up!

Silver out!

[TimbukTurnip]

1253405 That was one of the... inspirations for this parody. Other notable ones include The Party Hasn't Ended and another story that I can't remember the name of, among many others.