A Feeling of Pain - 1
Speck walked through Hollow Shades, straight to her house. She knew her friend would be there, waiting for her. Though, one more entity that she had never expected sat outside of her humble abode.
It was another bat-pony, staring through the living-room window!
"Can I help you?" Speck asked, as she approached the pony. The mare perked up and turned to Speck with a smile. Her sharp fangs glinted in the light of the late afternoon sun.
"Yes, do you know who lives here?" Speck furrowed her brow as she stepped a little closer to the bat-mare.
"I do, why?"
"Oh, no reason!" The mare snickered and flew off. It was definitely a strange experience.
Speck looked through the window to find her friend fast asleep on the living-room couch.
"Was she watching him? I'll have to keep an eye out for her." Speck muttered to herself as she walked back to the door and pushed it open. Feeling a little mischievous, Speck snuck into the living-room. She hid in the shadows and crawled up to the couch. She sat in front of him, her face level with his.
"Wake up." Her friend didn't stir. She smiled to herself and leaned forward.
~~~
A pair of velvety pony lips press against my own. I stir from my slumber and crack my eyes open slightly. Speck's eyes are closed, and she smiles against my lips. I smiled back and pull her up onto the couch, wrapping my arms around her in a tight embrace. She wiggles in protest, squealing all the while.
"Anon! Let go! We have to go see my mom!"
"Oh! Right!"
She leaps off of me and dashes to the door. I carefully set the picture of her father on the fireplace mantle before following her. I run to her and try to catch her and pick her up, but she flies up into the air as soon as the front door opens.
I dive at her and narrowly miss grabbing her by the tail.
"You'll have to be faster than that!" She snickers and flies toward the square. I laugh and chase her down the walk-way.
Speck slows down as we reach the square. Her hooves touch to the wooden platform as I finally catch up to her.
"So, where do we go to find your mother?" I ask between labored breaths. Working on my cardio would definitely be a good idea.
"She'll be on the west side of town. Hurry!" She starts to dart off again, but I catch her before she can take flight.
"Hold on, hold on. I'm sure she'll be there for a little while longer. What do you say we go find her some flowers and a present?" I press Speck's back to my chest as she tries to wiggle away, but she gives up and slumps forward. Her hooves dangle and she sighs. It's a happy sigh, though.
"I think she'll really, really like that." Speck tips her head back to look up at me. Her nubby little fangs gleam as she smiles. Her stomach grumbles as I drape her over my shoulder.
"Hungry?" She nods as she climbs onto my back. Speck really loves these pony-back rides.
"There's a little fruit bar on the way to where mom's at. I'm pretty sure there's a flower shop, too."
"How convenient. We can grab something quick at the bar, and then check the flower shop, alright?"
"Okay."
Speck falls quiet as I carry her through the town. She must still be brooding over her dad. All I can do is be here for her, and carry her; sometimes literally.
Her body heaves against me, she hiccups, and I feel my shoulder start to soak with her tears. I pull her off of my back and hold her against my torso. Seeing such a happy-go-lucky little pony cry breaks my heart. I really wish there was something I could say or do to make her smile.
Right now, the best thing to do is hold her and keep her safe.
The mare from earlier flies up beside me. Something bad is probably about to happen, and it's probably going to upset Speck even more.
"Now's not a good time," I say, quickening my pace a little bit. The mare doesn't take the hint.
"But I never got your name!"
"It's Anon. I'm busy, can we do this later?"
"Do what? Me? I think I can settle for that." Bat-pony mare, please.
"How about you do what he says, and buzz off?" Speck spits at the mare. I have never heard her say anything like this.
"Fine, geez. Catch you two later, then." The mare darts off.
"You know her, or something?" I ask Speck. She nods.
"I caught her spying on you through the window."
"Huh. She was asking if I had a mate earlier in the day." She hugs me tighter and hides her face back in my shirt. At least she's stopped crying, but she's still upset.
"I love you. You know that, right?" She nods again. "No pony's going to be able to take me away. Alright?"
"Alright."
I boop her on the nose and embrace her as snug as I can, just like a vigilant protector would. Her hind legs wrap tighter around my waist, and her forelegs tighten around my chest. If ponies weren't likely made of marshmallow, she would probably be able to crush me with this hug. Her stomach roars with such volume that it would be deemed unladylike in prim-and-proper company. She blushes and hides her face.
"Let's go find that bar."
"It shouldn't be much farther. It has a big wooden mango sitting out front," she says as she climbs back around my body and saddles up on my back. Her fore-hooves drape over my shoulders and her chin rests on top of my head.
After a little while, we happen upon a wide, wooden tavern with a large wooden mango sitting in front of it. Some tables and chairs are placed outside, for those patrons wanting to dine in the open air. A chalkboard sign leaning against the wooden mango reads, "The Fruit Tree. Tonight's Specials: Pineapple Salad, Tropical Mash, Apple Pie." Each item is priced at five bits.
"Is this a pun?" I ask Speck. "I'm getting the feeling that there's a pun here. It has something to do with the name, doesn't it? Like, I get this is a tree-loft town, and there are actual fruit trees around. Explain this."
She taps on my head and points up to the large tree that grows through the middle of the building. Near the top, fruit grows.
"It's built around a fruit tree, Anon."
"Wow, that is really dumb. That is so dumb, Speck. I'm blaming you for how dumb that is." There is probably no way to describe how dead I feel inside.
"I don't think it's dumb, I just think you don't understand higher comedy!"
I walk past the mango, to the doors of the tavern, and push them open. Dozens of bat-ponies sit around the tables, feasting on fruits and partaking in fruit drinks. None of them take much notice of me or Speck as we go to sit down at an empty table.
"Speck, you know I hate puns." The tavern falls completely silent. All eyes are on me. A great weight has been lifted off of my back. Speck hovers in front of me.
And she's the last thing I see before I'm staring at the evening sky of Hollow Shades. Those bat-ponies move fast, and apparently take opinions of puns very seriously.
I stand and walk back up to the door of the tavern. There's a small, crude drawing of me with a big red X over it.
"Looks like I'm banned. Awesome."
A lone pony sitting at one of the outside tables munches on what looks like a variety of fruit stuffed into half of a pineapple.
"You know, Anon. You should probably keep your punpinions to yourself." Speck laughs so hard she nearly chokes on her salad.
"That was bad. I hope you feel bad." She shakes her head indignantly as she eats. "I'm going to guess you pick-pocketed me to pay for that." She nods. "Did you at least get me something?"
"I got you an apple."
She throws me an apple. One single apple. Nothing special about it, just one of the nasty red ones.
"Wow, good to know you care." As I sit beside her, she pushes a second pineapple salad in front of me. "Oh."
I look over at her as we eat. She still looks upset, and I don't think I'm helping. Scratch that, I'm definitely not helping.
"Are you feeling alright, sweetheart?"
Speck sighs and pulls her muzzle from the pineapple. She casts a quick glance up at me, and for a brief second I catch her beautiful orange eyes. She's sad and she's torn, and I can feel it just by looking at her.
"No. I don't think it was a good idea to come here. We should've just stayed in Ponyville."
"Speck. Look at me." She furrows her brow, and it looks like she might run off, but she stares at my face. "In the entire two months that I've known you, I've learned so much about you. About who you are, and what you want. Coming here, I'm getting to learn why you are the way you are." She smiles a little bit as she looks away. "Plus, I really want to meet the mare that raised such a perfect little cutie." She blushes and starts snickering.
"We should hurry up and eat. Don't want to keep her waiting, right?"
"Yeah."
A small smile plays across her lips the entire time we eat. I realize I spend a little more time looking at her than I do actually enjoying my fruit.
Speck is beautiful. She really is. And I notice this every single time I look at her, but I feel like I really need to state just how pretty she is. Her long turquoise mane, her dull-orange eyes, her nubby little fangs that poke out from between her lips, and seemingly grow longer when she smiles, those majestic, leathery wings that are just lighter than her mane. Every single little thing about her adds to her appeal.
She notices I'm staring, which causes her to blush. She struggles to ignore me and eat, but her smile grows even wider.
"You should take a picture. It'll last longer."
"It wouldn't be the same."
If those gray cheeks could be any redder, I'd think her face caught fire. She hides behind her hooves and wings, but they provide little protection as I grab her in a tight hug.
During moments like this, I don't feel any need to tell her I love her, or really say anything. She understands exactly what I'm thinking and feeling.
"Ready to go?"
She looks up at me as she lowers her hooves and wings, barely revealing her eyes, and nods. I pick her up and cradle her against me with one arm and pick up my pineapple salad bowl. Neat little dish, actually; the bat-ponies cut a pineapple in half, removed the core, and filled it with other fruits, having the pineapple act like a bowl.
As we continue on our journey through the west end of Hollow Shades, the sweet smell of flowers floods my senses.
"That's it," Speck says as she points towards a building wedged between two other, slightly smaller buildings.
Nectar's Flowers, as the sign points out, looks like a modest little two-story cabin with vines growing over its exterior. Shelves and tables sit outside, under the windows, with flowers resting on top of them in little clay pots. The flowers are incredibly colorful, and look perfectly healthy.
As we enter the shop, I expect to be knocked off my feet by an abhorrent mixture of flowers, but am pleasantly surprised not to be. The shop smells wonderful, like every single flower adds its own special little fragrance to the store, but none of them overwhelmingly so. Whoever this "Nectar" is, they must be absolutely exceptional with their flowers and how they're arranged.
"Hello! Welcome to Nectar's Flowers!" A cheery little gray-brown bat-pony with a braided tan mane shouts as she trots around a shelf. She clicks her tongue and smiles wide. "How can I help you two?"
"We're just looking around," Speck responds.
"Alrighty, then!" The mare starts to turn, but trips over a stray flowerpot as she starts to walk away. Instinctively, I rush over and help her up. "How clumsy of me." She looks up at me, but doesn't actually look at me. Her gaze shifts ever so slightly as she tries to see. I don't think she can, though; her cloudy white eyes meet mine, very briefly. I glance at her flank to find the image of a cracked flower pot.
"Anon."
I let go of Nectar as Speck approaches me. Nectar just wanders off, giving a quick thanks. Something crashes in the direction she heads.
"Speck. She's blind."
"She can still see." There's a loud clicking sound, similar to the one Nectar had made earlier, though this one comes from Speck. "Echolocation. All bat-ponies can do it." Right. I remember reading about it in that book.
"So I guess you can say she's blind as a bat." Speck snickers and leans against me, her head pressing into my hip. There's snickering coming from the back of the shop too. Nectar must have excellent hearing to make up for her lack of eye-sight. Bat-ponies are so nifty.
Speck calms down after a moment, gasping for breath.
"Th-that was good, Anon." But I hate myself for it. Speck sighs loudly as she walks away to look at the flowers.
"What kind of flowers does your mom like, anyway?" I ask as I follow her.
"Her favorites are gladioli and hydrangeas, so I think a bouquet of those will be good." She sniffs a couple of flowers, and as she does so, she rises up onto her tippy-hooves and spreads her wings. "They smell lovely."
"So half a dozen of each. How's that sound?"
"It sounds good. Let's find the shopkee-" Speck stops speaking as Nectar blindly bumps into me and falls over. She starts to screech and flail her hooves.
"Darn these shelves, always moving around when I'm not looking!" I feel so bad for laughing, even though I kneel down to help her up again. She struggles to stand, so I have to pick her up and balance her onto her hooves. She clicks her tongue. "Oh! Thank you, Shelf!"
"I'm not a shelf."
"Oops! My apologies!" She grins. Speck, you might have a rival for cutest pony in Equestria. I turn to her, and notice her cheeks are burning brightly. She looks a little mad. "Can I help you two now?"
"Yeah. We need half a dozen gladioli and half a dozen hydrangeas in an arrangement." The mare bounces in place.
"Wonderful! I'll have that bundled up and ready to go momentarily!" She clicks and trots off, but trips over another flower pot. Scrambling to her feet, she clicks again and hurries to find the flowers.
"Anon, really?"
"What?"
"I'm right here, and you're flirting with her?" I turn to Speck, but pause before I say anything. I could easily upset her if I choose my words poorly.
"She's blind, and I was helping her up. I don't see how that constitutes flirting." Speck huffs and bumps into me. After a moment of glaring at me, she falls over on her side and flails her hooves. Our eyes meet. She looks so indignant. "Speck, you're being silly. Stop it." I still pick her up and balance her.
"Stop flirting with other mares!"
"Didn't we just talk about this, like an hour ago? Do you not understand that I love you, and only want to be with you?" Her ears lower and she looks away. I shut up and hug her, pressing my nose into her cheek as I kiss her. "Sorry."
She hugs me back and tries to sway. A click causes me to look up. Nectar stands, looking toward us, with a bouquet of flowers in her mouth. Speck and I part as the blind bat-pony leads us toward the counter.
"The bouquet is twelve bits, but uh... You know red roses are better for a couple, right?"
"The flowers aren't for either of us."
"Oh! Well, alright." She blushes a little bit and looks away. I hand the mare three ten-bit coins. She uses her nose to check them. "Sir? This is too much."
"Keep it."
"But-" I take the bouquet off of the counter. Speck stares up at me as I turn to the door.
"Keep it, ma'am."
"Thank you, mister!" Nectar shouts as Speck and I leave the shop. Nectar is a nice mare. She deserved every bit.
"You're really kind, Anon." Speck nuzzles my hand and smiles against it. I stroke her mane and scratch behind her ear.
"I guess. Ready to see your mom?"
"Yeah. I think we've delayed long enough." She smiles as we walk further down the west walk-way.
It doesn't take long for us to get to our destination. Speck stops me as we pass by a hospital. It's carved into a skyscraper of a tree, and looks to be just as modern as the hospital in Ponyville. It kind of feels out of place, since it's so large. There aren't many buildings around it, either.
As we enter, Speck and I approach the front desk. The desk comes up to my mid-thigh, about where the average pony's chest would be.
"Hello, welcome to the Hollow Shades hospital. How may I help you?"
"We're looking for Angel Tear." The stallion at the desk looks up at Speck and smiles softly.
"She's in room Seven-Fifteen." I hazard a guess that Speck's mom is a nurse.
I follow Speck as she starts trotting towards a stairwell. We walk up to the seventh floor and start looking for room seven-fifteen. I notice a large map on the wall, that decidedly points out where we are: the intensive care unit. I don't think anything of it and carry on.
The hospital itself is incredibly modern, in contrast to how modest the rest of Hollow Shades is. I wouldn't expect a medical care center to be any less impressive in a world like this. I stop paying attention to where I'm going as I admire all of the magical medical machines organized neatly along the walls.
"Here." Speck stops me with a hoof as I almost walk past the door. She looks up at me and smiles uninhibitedly. I smile back, genuinely happy to see her smile in such a way once more. Hand and hoof on the door, we push it open together.
I expect to see a mare, dressed up in a nurse's outfit, standing over a sickly pony, smiling and caring for them.
Instead, I find a mare, much older than Speck with a striking resemblance, laying in a hospital bed. She groans softly and her gray-blue mane falls over her face as she sits up. Wires dangle from her dark-gray chest, and she struggles to wave. The wires lead to a small machine that emits a slow and weak beeping noise. Her sky-blue eyes move from Speck to me and back.
"Well, hello there, my starry night." The mare grunts softly as Speck approaches the bed; her voice is not dissimilar to a choir of angels. I sit down in a chair beside the bed. I had hoped my heart would only be torn out, shredded, and stomped on once today, and once in my lifetime in Equestria. Unfortunately, it may happen a second time.
"Hi, mama." Speck climbs onto the bed and hugs her mom as tight as she possibly can without hurting her. They snuggle, both as happy as they could possibly be.
"And who's your friend?" Angel Tear slowly turns her head to me. If I could muster the strength to look at her, I would be warmed by her smile. Alas, I only give her a nervous smile and glance to the floor.
"His name's Anon." Speck rests her cheek against her mother's chest and looks up at me. "We got you flowers!"
"How kind." She smiles as I hold them up. "You can put them in the vase right next to you, sweetie."
I pick the vase up, and find that there isn't any water in it.
"There's a sink in the bathroom, right next to the door." I stand up and walk over to the bathroom. As I start to fill the vase, I hear Speck speak.
"What do you think of him?"
"Sweetie, it doesn't matter what I think. If he makes you happy, then I'll rest easy." There's a soft laughter from Angel Tear, but something in her voice says she knows she's in a tight spot. I put the flowers into the vase and carry it back out into the room. Replacing the vase on the table beside Angel Tear's bed, I retake my seat.
"How did the two of you meet?" Angel Tear runs a hoof over Speck's mane. I don't know if she knows about Speck living outdoors for nearly a year. I don't have time to come up with anything to ease her heart before Speck speaks up.
"I found him one night, when I was out and about, and he just invited me into his house." They both giggle a little bit.
"What a strange way to meet someone. As long as you're safe, I'm not worried."
The three of us sit in silence for a little while. Part of me wants to leave the room, so Speck and her mom can have some time together. This visit is for her, after all. Yet, as I stand to leave, Angel Tear's hoof touches my hand.
"Please stay." She smiles, and I sit back down. "How long have you two known each other?"
"A little over a month," I answer. Her hoof never leaves my hand.
"Has Speck told you about the Angels?"
"No, I don't think she has." I don't give Speck the opportunity to speak up. She looks up at me, curious. We both know that she's told me dozens of times, but I'd like to hear it from her mom.
"Well, a long, long time ago, when ponies were still a fresh race, still in their infancy, there was a race of beings that held the ponies' hooves and guided them. This race was lost to history, and possibly not even remembered by the princesses. They were called Angels. The Angels loved the ponies, and the ponies loved the Angels. The Angels worked so hard to protect the infant ponies, to guard them, to keep them safe."
She coughs and groans as she pauses.
"The Angels helped the ponies cultivate the land, settle their villages, and live in peace and harmony. They protected the ponies against so many dangerous things."
I squeeze her hoof as tears well up in her eyes. Speck's fallen asleep, and nestles against her mother.
"I'm sure you've heard the Hearth's Warming Eve stories. When the three main races of ponies were fighting. Some ponies believe those events took place not long after the Angels left."
She smiles warmly at me. It's a knowing smile.
"Some ponies believe the Angels still walk these lands." Angel Tear chuckles as she looks down at Speck. "That always was her favorite bed-time story when she was a filly. It always put her right to sleep."
"I'll have to keep that in mind."
She moves her hoof up my arm, pulls it closer to her, and hugs it.
"You're doing well to keep my little Speck safe. Please protect her."
"I'll do whatever it takes. I promise." The heart monitor's beeping starts to slow and weaken even further. Angel Tear smiles, and her eyes close. The faintest whisper escapes her lips.
"I always knew Angels were real." Her chest falls one last time as a tear rolls down her cheek. The heart monitor flat-lines, and its long, drawn out beep awakens Speck.
My heart is crushed; Speck's is obliterated.
Doctors and nurses rush into the room. There is nothing they can do, and they know it. Speck buries her face into her mother's chest and sobs.
I place a hand on Speck's back before leaving the room. I know there is nothing I can say or do right now. Leaving her alone isn't the best idea either, but I don't know what else to do in a situation like this.
I sit down on the floor beside the door to room seven-fifteen, and think. Speck is without family, now. I can't say I know exactly how she feels, but I can sympathize. I've been separated from everything I knew and loved on Earth, and consider it impossible to ever get any of that back. I am much happier now, but I received a second chance. I am afraid Speck will not, and that I'm all she has.
One of the nurses leads Speck out of the room. Tears still stream down her cheeks. She doesn't even look up at me as she climbs into my lap and buries herself against my chest. I just hold her and rub her back.
She falls silent after a little while. Her sobbing has stopped, but she's still awake. Maybe it's okay to say something now.
"I'm sorry, Speck." An explosion of snot and tears soaks into my shirt, but instead of crying, it sounds like Speck is laughing.
"D-don't be, Anon... She always said she wouldn't go until... until she met an Angel."
Her face beams through her tears as she looks up at me. She doesn't say anything else. She doesn't have to.
As much as she talks about those stories, and the way she looks at me.
She really does think I'm an Angel.
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That was surprisingly tear-jerking. I didn't realize I was crying until I tasted the salty tears rolling off my cheeks. Good job, Nuke.
Oh god, that's so sad
excellent chapter
I think you meant "She met an Angel."
4907899
Yup. Fuck.
Fixed it.
4907796
I love salty tears, it means I done a good job at trolling.
4907964 ...but...You didn't...troll...anyone...I think....
4907990
4907995
4908030
490803
a moment of silence......
tis sad..... but I do wish I would of met specks mother more
eyup.....
4908124
I might do something with Speck's childhood some day.
4908171
I do wish to see it. it's that little plot hole that I'm curious of
Author! Why do you do this to us?!? But you know right when they said hospital my mind was like 'fuuuuuuu'
I'd be crying if tears didn't hurt.
I just got hit by the feels cactus..
the end of this chapter made me cry so hard you don't even know. i feel like i got a one way ticket to get on the feels train so i could get on the feels plain to go to feeladelphia, but the plain crashed on new feels island and i was the only one to survive and now i only have my feels to talk to! that is how a feel right now
imgur.com/tk1H3YM
4908171 That can mean MANY things!
The feels are strong in this one
Good story overall but after the last chapter this one was incredibly predictable and a bit cliche
The feels ;~;
You just made me cry. Dem Feels!
chapter 15 a nice sad and slice of life chapter
I love Speck.
Oh so much...pain!
I CAN'T STOP CRYING
And here we can experience how the feels continue to exist
4907759 uuuhhhhhh.... How bout no.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o2LodCjpzEY This was playing when I started reading them visiting Specks mom, I might have teared up a little.
Damn these feels. They make me weak.
i cried.
4908511
Stygian is a better name than Thestral, but it's still shit.
I don't see why people keep trying to name bat-ponies something other than bat-ponies.
Dude...
4909599
do you call unicorns horn ponies, or pegasi hawk horses
Yeah I'd like a new order of feels please?
4909849
No, but now I will.
Best chapter yet. VERY well done.
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HNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG
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It must be raining in my room.
4910509 Thank you
Great, now I'm weeping.
GOD DANGIT. I'm really freaking sad now.
WHY YOU DO DIS!!! MY LIQ-ID PR-I-I-ide!!!!!
4908511 Well I would argue that they are not. Thestrels were created by J.K. Rowling for the Harry Potter Universe. They have their own lore and qualities that I believe separates them from Bat-Ponies.
as for Stygians, I have never heard of a creature referred to by that name and I could not find any information on it. If you could be so kind as to point me in the right direction I would be very appreciative
Thanks for the reply!