• Published 5th Jun 2014
  • 15,197 Views, 813 Comments

Daily Life of an Equestrian Ninja - PianoPony



Even being a ninja and knowing that you harbor one of the world's most feared beasts can't prepare you for everything. Naruto learned just that when a white pony with wings and a horn appeared one morning at his doorstep.

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Chapter 13- ‘Ninja’ is not a Valid Occupation (Part 3)

Chapter 13- ‘Ninja’ is not a Valid Occupation (Part 3)

Apple Bloom, Naruto and Rainbow Dash were sitting under a tree in Ponyville. Apple Bloom was exhausted from all the sportive attempts at a cutie mark, and Naruto started doubting whether this was even a good way to get one. It was starkly different than what Rarity told him about cutie marks, and her idea of it somehow seemed to make more sense.

“Tried that one, and that one, and that one…” Rainbow muttered to herself as she went over the list of ideas she had for cutie marks.

Giggling voices came from down the street. Apple Bloom’s eyes shot open immediately and she jumped into a nearby bush. Naruto looked over there to see a pair of pink and gray fillies.

“Your new outfit is, like, perfect for the party,” said the gray one. He noticed her to be one of the few ponies wearing glasses he’d seen. She had a nearly combed mane, which was a slightly lighter shade of gray and was tied in a braid. She had a silver spoon for a cutie mark.

“Does it mean she… Likes to use spoons? Or maybe she makes spoons?” Naruto couldn’t help but wonder.

“I know. It totally shows off my cutie mark,” the pink filly laughed smugly. She had a light purple mane with a white line running in its middle, and a tiara for a cutie mark.

“And… A tiara? Seriously, I can’t figure these things out…” Naruto pondered as the two passed him without even sparing him a look. He wondered what they’d say when seeing his empty hind. Though, that would give him an excuse to scold them for Apple Bloom’s sake.

“I love being special,” the gray filly chuckled.

“Can you imagine how embarrassing it must be to be... Not special?” the pink one asked with annoying, overflowing drama.

“I don't even want to, like, think about it!” the gray one replied in a matching tone.

“So… Those are Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, right?” Naruto asked after they were out of earshot. Apple Bloom poked her head out of the bush and nodded sadly.

“Yeah... Those are them alright,” the yellow filly sighed as she stepped out into the open again.

“Do you want me to talk to them?” Naruto asked, angered with how Apple Bloom said they treat her.

“No! That’d only make it worse! Besides, they’d probably laugh at ya too!” the filly cried in protest, when she realized something dire. “What am ah gonna do, Naruto?! There’s not much time until the cute-ceañera!”

“Don’t worry, we’ll think of something until then. Believe it!” Naruto assured.

“And that’s what they call ‘Eating the cupcake and leaving it whole’!” a chipper voice suddenly said. “Or, was it a muffin? Or a cake? Or a pie?”

Turning their heads back to the bush, Apple Bloom and Naruto were startled to find Pinkie Pie’s head sticking out of it.

“Gah! Pinkie, when did you get there?!” Naruto screamed. “She’d definitely be at least a Jonin back home!”

“Never mind that! It sounds like the two of you have a cutie mark emergency on your hooves! You know what this calls for?” she asked in a grin full of anticipation.

“Eh…” Naruto and Apple Bloom gazed at each other, having completely missed Pinkie’s derailed train of thought.

“That’s right!” Pinkie called happily and grabbed each of them with a hoof. “Sorry, Dashie! I’ll be stealing these two buckos here!”

“Thanks for all the help!” Apple Bloom called. Rainbow merely waved back, still focused on the list of activities she ran her and Naruto through.

The Pegasus shook her head in disbelief as she gazed over the list. “We did nearly everything! Well, I guess not everypony’s made for an epic cutie mark like mine…”

*****

As quick as a scenery transition, Pinkie, Apple Bloom and Naruto were in Sugar Cube Corner’s kitchen.

“Wait… How did we get here so quickly?” Naruto asked. He didn’t even notice what way they took to get there.

“We’re on a tight schedule, Naruto! It’d be just silly to waste three whole minutes of air time on just walking here, duh,” Pinkie answered.

“I… Huh? What?” was all Naruto could blurt out. He didn’t get a lick of what the pink Earth pony just said.

“There’s a most critical mission on our hooves, soldiers!” Pinkie said as she grabbed a green helmet from one of the cupboards, put it on, and then started pacing back and forth in front of Naruto and Apple Bloom.

“Umm… Our cutie marks?” Apple Bloom asked, finding Pinkie’s reaction to it a ‘bit’ over the top.

“That’s right! And I will share with you the absolute super-duper, bestest, extra-terrestialific way to get one!”

“Alright! Let’s do this!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. With such a bold proclaim, there was no way Pinkie’s method was gonna fail! She even got Naruto a bit excited.

“We’re going to… Make cupcakes!” Pinkie announced happily as she tossed away the helmet. A loud crushing noise and a hiss of a cat were heard.

Naruto groaned. “But I don’t know how. I’ve never even eaten one before coming to Eques—” he froze when he remembered Apple Bloom was there. “Before coming to Ponyville!” he quickly corrected.

“Where in that hay did you come from, Naruto?! That has to be the saddest place in Equestria if there aren’t any cupcakes there!” Apple Bloom called with eyes full of sympathy. Naruto felt just a bit offended by that.

“Enough chit-chat! Time is cupcakes!” Pinkie barked as she pulled out two large plastic bowls from one of the cabinet, and laid one before Naruto and Apple Bloom.

“So how do we make them?” Naruto asked.

“Glad you asked, my little pony!” Pinkie said happily. “Luckily for you, I have just the song for it!”

“A song?” Naruto and Apple Bloom asked together, giving each other questioning gazes.

“All you have to do is take a cup of flour, add it to the mix!” the pink pony sang, and her two students complied.

“Now just take a little something sweet, not sour! A bit of salt, just a pinch!”

“Sweet like what?” Apple Bloom questioned. Naruto just grabbed some nearby random box and added some of its content to the bowl.

“Baking these treats is such a cinch! Add a teaspoon of vanilla!” Pinkie instructed, and the two complied.

“Add a little more, and you count to four, and you never get your fill of... Cupcakes! So sweet and tasty!”

“Pinkie, didn’t we forget something?” Naruto asked, but it fell on deaf ears, as Pinkie started going for the big finale of the song.

“Cupcakes! Don't be too hasty! Cupcakes! Cupcakes, cupcakes, CUPCAKES!” she yelled as her song was done.

*****

For the next hour or so, Pinkie was giving her pupils her tips on making the best cupcakes ever.

Naruto looked into the content of his bowl in utter confusion. The dark brown mix didn’t look appetizing at all, and it didn’t help that whole pieces of candy were strewn her and there. Even though they were recommended by Pinkie.

Apple Bloom, while didn’t object to her resulting mixture, also managed to get half of it on every single corner of the room. Since he wasn’t looking at the time, it was a mystery to Naruto how she even managed to get some on the ceiling. The rest of the room was in a pretty bad shape too. Cooking materials and appliances were strewn all over the room, and a thin cloud of flour hung in the air.

The oven ringed to signal the fresh contents were prepared— Apple Bloom’s first batch of cupcakes. The filly walked up to it, and grabbed out the tray using a piece of cloth.

The three ponies looked inside. What they say was a little more than six pieces of coal. They smelled and looked so bad none of them dared to take a bite. Or at least, that’s what Naruto thought until Pinkie bit down into one of them.

“They’re good, but a bit burnt,” she commented.

“A bit?” Naruto asked sarcastically. Apple Bloom’s saddened expression made him regret saying that.

*****

Afterwards, the batch was a mix of Naruto’s and Apple Bloom’s mixes. This time around, Naruto made sure to keep an eye on the contents, to make up for earlier.

The tray, which had two rows and a total of six cupcakes, was taken out by Naruto in the same manner as Apple Bloom did. “I can’t believe what I’m doing here with my mouth... he thought as he took it out with an insulating piece of cloth.

He smiled proudly at his row of cupcakes. While they looked a bit odd, with pieces of candy sticking out, he thought they weren’t bad after all. Apple Bloom’s looked quite similar, but were at a darker shade.

“Well, here goes nothing!” Naruto claimed boldly as he took a bit of one of his own cupcakes. At first, it actually tasted pretty good. But then, an uncomfortable feeling spread across his neck and mouth. Starting as a tingling sensation, it grew more and more intense, until Naruto couldn’t keep it contained earlier.

“Hot! Hot hot hot!” he yelled as he tossed away the accursed object and began looking for any source of water. He quickly spotted the sink and shoved his head inside, while opening the tap in order to get some water into his mouth.

“Wow! Yours are great, Naruto! I love the hot pepper powder touch!” Pinkie called enthusiastically while eating another of his cupcakes.

Beyond the tears of pain and stream of flowing water, Naruto finally took a look at the red box he used earlier while Pinkie was singing. The label read exactly what Pinkie said—‘hot pepper powder’.

After having mostly lost the burning sensation in his system, Naruto walked back to the pair, just as Apple Bloom grabbed one of her own cupcakes. To his surprise, she hooved it to him. “Sorry about your cupcakes, I hope mine will be better,” she said happily.

“Thank, Apple Bloom!” Naruto said as he took a bite. A loud, disturbing, breaking sound was heard inside his mouth, making his eyes shoot open in shock. He didn’t move a muscle, hoping it wasn’t one of his teeth that broke.

“Wow! They’re so tasty he can’t find words for them!” Pinkie called in amazement as she grabbed another one of Apple Bloom’s.

“No! Pinkie, don’t!” Naruto yelled, rock-hard pieces of cupcakes falling from his mouth.

“Mmm, crunchy!” Pinkie said in enjoyment. “My sister would love these!”

Apple Bloom sighed and hung her head low, realizing even that without over-cooking that her mix was no good. “Guess I’m not cut out to be a baker either…”

She walked towards the exit, tears forming in her eyes. “I just have to face it! I’m gonna have a blank flank forever…”

“Well, what about that?” Pinkie asked, looking at her flank, which was covered with flour.

“What about what?” Apple Bloom asked, trying to look at her flank. “Is there something on my flank?!” she asked hopefully.

She quickly galloped over to a fallen bowl, and looked at her flank in its reflection. “A cutie mark!” she yelled joyfully when she saw the flour stain.

“It’s a… A measuring cup? No, a mixing bowl? Wait… Are those cupcakes?”

“I think you’re just dirty,” Naruto deadpanned.

“A tower of cupcakes, maybe!” Apple Bloom went on, until Pinkie simply blew on her flank and cleared away the flour… Revealing nothing underneath it.

“Flour! It’s flour!” Pinkie announced cheerfully. Apple Bloom, however, looked discouraged once more. “Yay! I guessed it! What game do you wanna play next? Please say Bingo, please say bingo!”

“Woah, what’s been going on here?” Twilight asked. Everyone looked at the doorway to see her standing there, completely stunned.

“We’ve been making cupcakes!” Pinkie called as she ran up to her, balancing some on her head. “Wanna try one?”

As she asked that, one of Apple Bloom’s cupcakes fell down and shattered. Naruto shook his head at Twilight as quickly as he could.

“Uhh… No, thank you,” Twilight denied, getting the two hints. “Not that they don’t look… Delicious,” she added with a very forced smile.

“Oh, there you are, Naruto! I’ve been looking for you for a while now,” Twilight said as she walked past Pinkie towards him.

“After you’ve left, I’ve decided to make weekly reports about you! Doesn’t it sound great? I was just about to send the princess the first one regarding what you told me earlier, but I was wondering if we could make it a regular thing!” she asked with a huge smile.

“Oh… Uhh, okay? I guess?” Naruto replied, not very enthusiastic about this, and hoping he won’t have too many of these to conduct. “If Celestia doesn’t get me out of here soon I’ll go insane from not having ramen!” he thought to himself.

Apple Bloom then stepped in front of the purple Unicorn. “Twilight! You have to help me!”

“What’s the matter?” she asked, worried. “And how do you know me?”

“I met you when Applejack showed you through the preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration, remember?” the filly reminded her.

“Oh, right. How could I forget?” Twilight asked sarcastically, rubbing her belly, which never ached as much as back then from overeating.

“Anyways…” Apple Bloom began and took a deep breath, which Naruto took as a sign to plug his ears.

“RIGHT NOW!” he heard her finally yell after a very long monologue, which was his sign to resume hearing in peace.

“I don’t follow, how can I help you?” Twilight asked, confused.

“You can use your magic to make my cutie mark appear!”

“Oh no, Apple Bloom. A cutie mark is something that a pony has to discover for himself,” she explained, while also giving a warning gaze to Naruto.

“Don’t look at me, I’m in no rush,” the orange pony quickly said.

“Please, Twilight! Just try!” Apple Bloom begged.

“I’m sorry, but…”

“Oh please, please, please…” she began crying, at which point Naruto groaned and covered his ears again.

“Alright, alright!” Twilight finally gave in.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Twilight’s horn lighted up. She directed it towards the filly’s flank, which began glowing in the same violet light. A moment later, with a small flash of light, a cutie mark of a cart of apples appeared on her flank.

“Yes! I knew you could do it!” Apple Bloom exclaimed joyfully.

“Woah, good job, Twilight,” Naruto said in surprise. “You don’t suppose—” he began, but before he could finish the image disappeared, and Apple Bloom’s happy expression melted away.

“I’m sorry sweetie, but I told you—” Twilight started.

“Try again! Try again!” Apple Bloom called, her hope renewed.

Twilight frowned, but then sighed and gave up arguing with her, knowing it won’t yield anything.

Once again, Twilight’s horn lighted up as she made another cutie mark, this time of a pink kite, appear on Apple Bloom’s flank, which then quickly disappeared. Another try resulted in cupcakes, which vanished even faster. A teddy bear, a tricycle… More and more cutie marked had come and gone, and Apple Bloom changed expressions every second with each appearance and disappearance. The cutie marks made less and less sense, until Twilight finally gave up, panting heavily from using so much magic at once.

“I told you that not even magic can make a cutie mark appear before its time!” Twilight said.

“Oh, it’s hopeless! Hopeless!” Apple Bloom called, saying exactly how she felt. “I just won’t go to the party. I can’t go! Everypony will just laugh at me and make fun of me and call me names! It will be the worst party ever!” she said as she walked out of the kitchen.

Naruto quickly joined up with her. “Hey, if it makes you feel better, why won’t I come too? That way you won’t be the only one there without a cutie mark,” he offered.

“No, don’t worry about it, Naruto. You’re lucky you don’t need to go to the par—” the filly began, when she looked around. The place was filled with streamers and balloons, snacks, cakes and big bowls of punch. Many ponies were there, talking loudly and laughing, and many more were coming in, greeted by Pinkie, who was naturally hosting the whole thing.

“Wow. I can’t believe we didn’t notice,” Naruto noted as he looked around. He noticed a circle of young ponies, Apple Bloom’s age, all standing in a circle. In the middle of the circle were Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, who were showing off their cutie marks to the attendees and were wearing pink and yellow dresses, respectively.

Most of the ponies, however, were busy talking, dancing or eating. From the corner of his eyes, he saw a yellow Unicorn biting into a cupcake, and then running off and shoving her head into a bowl of punch. He decided to play innocent and completely ignore this.

Apple Bloom quickly jumped behind a life-size chocolate sculpture of a pony. “How could I forget the time?! How could I forget Pinkie was hosting the party?! How could I forget it was at Sugarcube Corner?!”

“You worry too much,” Naruto smiled. “Just enjoy the party and nopony will bother you. But, don’t eat the cupcakes,” he reminded her.

“Easy for you to say! Nopony will pick on a grown-up like you!” the filly complained.

“Don’t forget your party hats, you forgetty forgettersons!” Pinkie called as she put colorful party hats on both of their heads.

“Sorry, Naruto, but I’m gonna have to get out of here before anypony sees me,” the filly said as she snuck off, finding hiding places behind cakes, balloons, tables, which all somehow were eaten, popped or moved just as she got to them.

Naruto shrugged it off and went along to enjoy the party, when he noticed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon standing near the cake. Grinning to himself, he walked over to them.

“Hey, great party, huh? Congratulations on your cutie marks,” he said with a smirk as he passed in front of them, making sure to delay a bit as his flank passed in front of them.

Diamond Tiara smirked as she noticed the clear absence of a cutie mark. “Hey Silver Spoon, check out that bl—” she began, but quickly had her muzzle plugged by the gray filly, who shook her head at her, and gained a very angry gaze by the pink filly.

“She says ‘thanks!’” Silver Spoon smiled at him. Naruto walked away, smiling to himself to get some punch.

As he moved to grab the ladle to pour himself some of the sweet drink, he could hear the two fillies arguing.

“What the hay, Tiara?! Are you crazy?!” Silver Spoon hissed.

“Don’t you tell me what to do, Silver Spoon!”

As Naruto was about to pick the ladle up, the table suddenly floated up and then away from him. Confused, he followed it up to the entrance, where Apple Bloom came out from under it with a relieved smile, and proceeded to go outside, only to bump into her older sister.

“Naruto, Apple Bloom, you made it! After that whole cutie mark business, I was worried you two wouldn’t show up! I’m sure glad you came to your senses about it, Apple Bloom! These things happen when these things are supposed to happen. Try to rush it and it’ll just drive you crazy!” Applejack said as she unknowingly pushed her younger sister away from the exit, Naruto at her side.

“I’ll let you be. Looks like your friends wanna talk to you,” she said when she noticed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon standing there, grinning deviously at Apple Bloom.

“Let’s go, Naruto,” the cowmare said carefreely as she dragged him away, despite his wishes to tell the two bullies off.

“Listen, I just want to thank you for your help today,” Applejack smiled as the two stood next to one of the buffet tables.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Naruto said as he tried to look behind her, at Apple Bloom.

“So what were you two up to?” the orange mare asked.

“Oh, you know. Just getting ourselves cutie marks,” he replied while still trying to look at the filly without arousing Applejack’s attention.

“Oh really? What did you try?” she asked as she grabbed a cupcake. Naruto’s eyes widened and he flung it away from her hooves.

“What in tarnation was that for?!” Applejack frowned.

“Let’s just say we tried cupcake baking…” Naruto sweatdropped.

“Oh, gotcha,” Applejack smiled, getting his point.

Suddenly, the party music turned off with a loud scratching noise, making everyone look in the direction of the gramophone alongside one of the walls. Naruto saw Apple Bloom lying on the floor next to it with a troubled expression.

“Oh wow, that is an amazing cutie mark!” Silver Spoon said sarcastically, as she and Diamond Tiara started laughing.

“Nice try, blank flank!” the two called and laughed at her again.

Naruto had had enough. He frowned and started marching forward towards them. “Okay, you—”

“You got a problem with blank flanks?!” a voice shouted, interrupting him. Everyone started looking around for the source of the voice.

“I said, ‘you got a problem with blank flanks’,” the voice repeated in an angrier manner, as the owner of the voice, a young Pegasus with an orange coat and a purple mane and eyes came out from underneath one of the tables, which Naruto recognized from earlier this morning. Next to her was a Unicorn her same age, which sported an alabaster coat and purple and pink, curly mane, with green eyes.

The two fillies stared intensely and angrily at Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, who looked back at them similarly.

“The problem is, I mean, she’s like totally not special,” Silver Spoon quickly replied.

“No, it means she’s full of potential!” the white little Unicorn said as she walked up to stand next to Apple Bloom.

“It means she can be great at anything!” the Pegasus said as she did the same. “The possibilities, are like, endless,” she repeated, the last few words in a similar tone to that of Silver Spoon, mocking her.

“She can be a great scientist, or an amazing artist, or a famous writer!” the little Unicorn said. “She could even be mayor of Ponyville someday!”

Naruto smiled. “They're doing way better than I would have,” he admitted to himself.

Apple Bloom smiled at her two new companions.

“And she’s not stuck up like you two!” the orange Pegasus finished. Some of the other ponies chuckled a bit.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon frowned and looked around. “Hey! This is my party!” the pink filly cried. “Why are you two on her side?!”

“Because…” the Pegasus began, and then along with the Unicorn turned to show their flanks to them. They were blank as well, just like Apple Bloom’s.

The yellow Earth pony gasped. “You don’t have cutie marks either?! I thought I was the only one!”

“We thought we were the only two!” the Pegasus replied, smiling

“I, for one, think you are three very lucky fillies,” Twilight said happily as she stepped into the middle of the room.

“Lucky?!” Diamond Tiara asked in shock, while Silver Spoon made an exaggerated, disgusted expression. “How can they be lucky?!”

They still get to experience the thrill of discovering who they are, and what they’re meant to be!”

“And they’ve got all the time in the world to figure it out, not just an afternoon,” Applejack added as she nudged her younger sister playfully.

Suddenly, all the young fillies and colts started gathering around the cutie mark-less fillies, taking interest and guessing at what they would grow up to be, and what their cutie marks would be like.

“That includes you too, Naruto,” Twilight whispered, winking at him and smiling.

He smiled back at her. “Yeah, I’m not worried. And it’s not like I’d have to work hard for it, right?” he asked, although he did find this day to be quite enjoyable.

*****

Everypony enjoyed the party for a while, and Naruto was treating himself to some of the food and drinks, but making sure not to touch the cupcakes. The time went by as he chatted with some of the ponies around, and found himself giving some excuses as to how he didn’t have a cutie mark yet.

“Hey, Naruto! Come over here!” he suddenly heard Apple Bloom calling from one of the tables, who was sitting there along the Pegasus and Unicorn from before.

“What’s up?” he asked as he approached them.

“Naruto, these are Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle,” she introduced him to the Pegasus and Unicorn.

“Oh, the one who nearly ran me over,” Naruto laughed. “And you’re Rarity’s sister?”

“Yep,” the two replied.

“By the way, that was really cool today,” Scootaloo grinned.

“Nice to meet you! Oh, how do you know my sister?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Uhh… We met in town?” Naruto spoke off the top of his head. It was for the best that she wouldn’t know, since it might reveal his human form, which he turns into over the night.

“Anyways,” Apple Bloom said. “The three of us decided to work together to find out who we are! We’ll be called the ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders’!” she said cheerfully.

“Great idea,” Naruto said happily. “Well, good luck with it,” he said as he turned to walk away, satisfied with the outcome.

“And we’d like you…” Apple Bloom began.

“To be one of the founding members!” the three of them called at once.

“…Huh?” Naruto asked, rather stunned.

“Yeah, Apple Bloom told us you don’t have a cutie mark either, so it’s only fitting!” Scootaloo said.

“The age doesn’t matter! As long as you’re mark-less, you can be a crusader!” Sweetie Belle chimed happily.

“Uhh… Well, I…” Naruto muttered, not sure how to deny the three. It just seemed a bit awkward to be in a group with young ponies.

“Please, please, please…” Apple Bloom began, and the other two quickly joined in.

He let out a sigh. “Well… If this is a pony universe, how bad could a little pony club be?” he convinced himself, and then smiled.

“Alright, I’m in,” he finally said.

“Hurray!” the three fillies called and put their hooves together, which Naruto took as a sign to do as well.

“From now on… We are officially…” Scootaloo began.

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders!” they all called at once as they raised their hooves up to the air.

Author's Note:

All double-entendres in this chapter were purely coincidental. I promise.
Story is changed now from 'Everybody' to 'Teen' because of what's coming from next chapter forth. Although, I really should have done it sooner...
The next few chapters are already in working progress, and won't take more than a few days each to be uploaded.

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