That was close, but before Tirek could use his dark magic to steal her own magic, as well as the magic she was attempting to keep safe, she teleported away. Instinct had taken her straight to her home, causing her to reappear on her balcony.
This is not good, she thought to herself. Tirek wanted the alicorn magic within her, and he would obliterate the entire town if that is what it takes for him to obtain it. Home was the last place that she should have gone. And even worse, she could hear Spike inside talking with Owlicious. Damn! The last she knew, he had been with the others. Now, he was at risk just by her being here. She needed to get away and put some distance between Ponyville and Tirek, and she needed to hurry.
First things first. She needed to know exactly where her opponent is. Looking through her telescope, she quickly spoted Tirek. He found her as well, and he fired a blast of energy directly at her! “SPIKE! GET OUT OF THERE— “
There was not enough time. The destructive bolt crossed the couple miles in a matter of a few seconds. When it hit the Golden Oaks Library, the explosive force was equivalent to one of Rainbow Dash’s sonic rainbooms. The detonation sent her flying through the air, landing a distance away. She was fortunate that she reflexively shielded herself, otherwise she might have been seriously injured.
Looking back, Twilight saw with sorrow that her home has been obliterated. All her books and her personal belongings were scattered among the rubble. Four years, she lived and worked there, and now all that was gone. She felt the anger build as she looked upon the scene. And then her eyes found Spike.
Scrambling to her hooves, she hurried over to him. There was nothing that she could do. The explosion tore his body apart, and left him impaled on a chunk of debris. Spike, the one whom she had raised from a newly hatched infant, whom she had watched grow into her number one assistant, best friend, and younger brother, was dead.
And off in the distance was the bastard that killed him.
With tears flowing freely, Twilight felt something she had never felt before; a murderous rage that demanded vengeance. Turning towards her foe, she slowly began walking in that direction. As she walked, vast amounts of energy began flowing around her, until, with a flash of light, she transformed. Her coat now glowed white like the sun, her tail and mane transformed into fire, and her eyes glowed brightly crimson. On top of that, her horn and wings had expanded, and her height was now roughly between that of Celestia and Luna.
Twilight Sparkle had rage shifted, and she was bringing all the power within to bear against what had become her mortal enemy.
Tirek watched the transformation happen, and he was pleased by what he saw. Yes, she would be an even more formidable target now, but the rewards for defeating her would be all the more greater. He started advancing towards her, charging up another energy blast between his horns.
”TIIRRREEEKKK!!!!!!” she bellowed in the Royal Canterlot Voice as she broke into a gallop, charging at him in a nearly blind rage. As she ran, her own hooves became enveloped in flames, setting fire to the grass which she passed over. When she was hit by Tirek’s shot, she barely noticed, and was barely slowed. Breaking into flight, she rapidly gained speed, closing the distance between the two in a matter of seconds. Tirek fired off a couple more bolts of his deadly energy, but she just shrugged them off, as if they were nothing more than a mild annoyance. Twilight collided with him at nearly supersonic speed, sending them both tumbling into the distance.
Neither one wasted any time getting to their hooves. They both were determined to end this match quickly and decisively.
“Give me what is mine!” he loudly demanded of her as he attempted to steal her power. With the power he had already claimed, including that of the God of Chaos, Discord himself, it should have been an easy thing, stealing Twilight’s power. But, instead, the infuriated Alicorn resisted his power and sent a blast of energy directly into his face, knocking him onto his back. He returned fire with a much more powerful blast that knocked her reeling, and then picked her up with his magic, only to throw her towards the mountains, where she collided with a cliff face with enough force to nearly crack the mountain into two.
Shaking that off, Twilight looked up to see Tirek flying at her like an oncoming missile. Dodging out of the way, she let her foe collide with the remains of the mountain, and then blasted him deeper into the remaining rubble with her magic. He retaliated with a powerful blast of his own, hitting her square in the face. Charging her again, he prepared to slam her into submission while she was stunned, but she quickly teleported directly above him, and instantly accelerated to supersonic speed, catching him in the back, sending him into the ground.
He shook this latest attack off, and the two of them began circling one another, like two gladiators, preparing for the kill. With twin bellows of rage and hatred, they again charged one another, firing off tremendous blasts of energy right at the moment of contact. The resulting explosion was unlike any which has been seen before. A blinding light flashed from the center, as if the sun itself had been brought down to Equestria. Everything within a half mile was incinerated within the resulting fireball and mushroom cloud.
When the smoke finally cleared, the two opponents stood still. Both were clearly injured by the detonation, but both refused to yield.
“So,” Tirek said, breaking the silence, “it seems that you and I are both at an impasse. How about I offer you this?” With a snap of his fingers, six magic bubbles appeared. Inside these were her friends and Discord. All of them appeared to have had their magic stolen from them, and all appeared to be completely helpless within their magic prisons that Tirek had brought forth. “How about you give me all of your magic, and I shall set your friends free? Do we have a deal?” he asked her.
Twilight did not even give her trapped friends a second glance. Glaring at the beast before her, she bellowed, "FUCK YOU!" and launched herself immediately at him, catching Tirek by surprise. It was an even bigger surprise when Twilight’s lengthened horn pierced his chest all the way to the base. She immediately fired off a powerful blast from the tip of her horn, causing Tirek’s chest to explode outward.
When his corpse hit the ground, it transformed back to the wizened old form it had been when he first returned to Equestria. With Tirek’s death, several things happened. All the magic which he had stolen returned to those whom it belonged to, the three princesses whom he had sent to Tartarus found themselves back in the throne room in the Canterlot, and Twilight’s friends were released from their bubble prisons, tumbling to the ground.
As they fell, Twilight turned away. Her friends hurried to her, voicing their thanks for saving them from their fates.
Wheeling on them, she glared at them all with acid filled contempt. “How DARE you approach me? You five were supposed to keep Spike safe! Why was he not with you? Why did you not keep him WITH you?” she screamed at them. Her rage towards them grew. “If you had kept him with you, he would not have been at home when that BASTARD destroyed it, AND HE WOULD STILL BE ALIVE!” she screamed in sorrow filled rage.
“Twilight, please, forgive me,” pleaded Discord, truthfully sorrowful for all that has transpired. If he had not listened to Tirek’s silver-tongued pitch, and not betrayed everypony, then none of this would have happened. Had he done what Celestia had sent him to do, then Tirek would never had gotten this powerful, and everything would have quickly returned to normal. Instead, the blood of an innocent young Dragon now rested upon his own soul. “If I had just done what I was supposed—”
He never got to finish. Twilight immediately attacked, physically impaling his throat with her horn, then ripping it to the side, tearing his throat out in a bloody mess. "JUST DIE!" she screamed, then immediately started pummeling his falling body with blasts from her horn. When she is through, Discord laid there in a twitching, crumpled mess, his lifeblood soaking the ground around him.
With her attack finished, her five friends quickly regained their hooves, staring at the scene before them in shocked silence. The silence was broken by an anguished scream from Fluttershy, who rushed over to her fallen friend, cradling him in her forelegs sobbing, as the light of life faded from his eyes, and he went limp in death.
The others just stared in shock as Twilight shifted back to her normal form, though she did remain at her new size. As she turned to walk back towards Ponyville, they heard her mumble, “I guess gods can be killed, after all.”
Yikes! Twilight really went too far of letting her anger control her!
Equestria is doomed.
... Dissy?
If you can pull this off well, I will be most impressed...
The creed demands more.
4496556 looks like I shall be working on the next chapter while I am up at Dunkin Donuts.
4496602 and that will be?
With both perpetrators of Spikes death taken out Twilight should revert to grieving over spike.
I would have dropped the show and left the site, then cried in the corner.
Also, this needs an AU tag.
This sounds Asura's Wrath or God of War inspired.
4496610 At the DD now. Getting ready to crank out pony words
4496629 Yeah... I thought of that as well... I'll be adding the AU tag
Oh... my
Only thing i can think of when Discord dies is... Well... fuck...
I was going to make a thread about this but forgot. This turned out pretty good. In a world with no magic, Twilight Sparkle lets off steam for losing the anchor in her life. If she wasn't blinded by fury, she COULD bring him back to life right? I mean he died like what, 15 min ago?
4497334 I would ask something of you. Before you try telling a writer how to write his story, please make certain that you, yourself have at least more than one story written...
Thank you.
NOOOOO MY FEELS ALREADY WHY
Whelp, Equestria's fed.
Yes.
4497388
Ya have a really nice story going here.
But ya personally lost me when you decided to be a jerk about criticism.
Congrats on the feature!
Finally a Story where Twilight goes on a Rampage. And I don't think they will survive.
4497388
How do you know they don't? Ok, they may only have one MLP story written, but that doesn't mean they don't have other, non-MLP things written elsewhere(this site is only for MLP fanfiction so it's not like they can post other stuff).
You don't need to have written things, or even have a lot of things written to be able to offer constructive criticism.
Nor did you need to be so rude about. I mean, geeze, they expressed an opinion and idea, and without being rude I might add. There's no need to get pissy about it. You acted worse than they did.
4498014 It got featured? SWEET!!!
Well, if you have your account set to NOT show Nature... then yeah, it's in the box lol
4498672 where's the end of the world song when you need it?
Holy shit, this is what should have happened!
Also,
is missing 'he' I assume.
4498863 lol, even with people checking it over... that got missed. thank you.
A tiny, singular change, and the whole of Equestria and the lands beyond are doomed to a blazing death at the hooves of a right pissed mother. A mother that, we must remember, currently possesses the combined magical strength of four Alicorns. Yeah. The world is fucked.
Go get 'em, Twilight.
4496602 When Discord died...
DAAAAAAAAAMMMMMNNNNNN
so i'm guessing the whole thing with the box wasn't needed
4499798 I guess not...
Damn, that's some epic, dark stuff here. Can't wait to read more and see how Twilight will... Well, I dunno what exactly she is up to but I think that's gonna be some evil stuff.
I give you four out of five moustaches.
I was interested, but the 'gore for free' (Spike's death, and Discords' should warrant a Gore tag by the way) and the moment when Twilight says "F*** YOU" ruined it for me.
Interesting, though the writing style makes it feel more like a documentary.
Twilight indiscriminately kills her friends off in graphic ways. Not buying the concept even for AU story.
man, this is interesting, also, this song seems to fit the begining and fight with Tirek, along with with his explosive death.
Anyways, they're all screwed, even if my OCs were in this story, they're all still be screwed. KA BOOM! BLAM! EVERYTHING IS DEAD AND WILL HAVE TO BE PEIECED TOGETHER IN HELL!
Goku can
you know, someone did die in that tree house. Pee wee died.
4500904 Pee Wee was shown the same episode in montage form being released back to the wild. if any creature died, besides the tree itself. It was the bees.
4497388 ... Yeah, with that attitude, I'm no longer interested in reading.
Your attitude is the same as some artists on DeviantART that make me sick. Just because you can't draw yourself doesn't mean you can't see things that need improving, or see things that are wrong with the picture. Now, was the comment somewhat blunt, and acting a little superior? Yeah, but it's up to YOU to decide how to react, and if you act like an elitist prick... You're not gonna have a ton of readers much longer. Just some friendly advice.
Eh, no. Lots of loud screaming, profanity, impotent anger, and overall just a sloppy design.
People don't read stories like this to see someone scream and kill everything. We want to see the emotional turmoil, the dark path they walk as their sanity slowly starts to slip away, and they cross the line from grief to rage. A good tragedy should have a slow decline of the hero towards their end, like rolling down a hill.
Instead, Twilight just fell down a cliff and we got to see her at the bottom. There is no progression, no mood building, no...really anything at all. Twilight goes mad with grief and rage, blames everyone else, and cuts a swath of destruction across Equestria.
Also, because your prior comments suggest this may be the case, don't let a feature go to your head. There is always much to learn, and being known as someone who cannot accept criticism well is not a reputation you want to cultivate.
-Lumino
4497388 seems like someone don't know to get critics. Don't let a feature get over your head kiddo.
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Also, I don't think Twilight would act that violently. Sure she would be angry, sure she would be full of rage, but she wouldn't go to killing others- especially Discord, her friend. I just thought she'd shout at him, maybe try to attack him, but be restrained by her friends. I also doubt that she would kill Tirek, maybe maim him, but certainly not kill him. Eh.... maybe I'm just nit-picking... but I don't think Twilight would be entirely murderous, just... I dunno, just not... that. Maybe she could have stabbed Tirek, weakening him, making the others fall free, and her friends restrained her, and Twilight makes a remark of 'He's not worth it...' and walks away. Also, possibly some build up to her mental breakdown, instead of it happening instantly? I mean, she could go through the 5 stages of grief, except the anger slightly heightened, and maybe after, her going right back to Spike's body.
theprospect.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/LocnessDesignsdotcom.jpg
Maybe it's just me... Just giving a little criticism... Sorry...
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4501148 You have just given a much better example of a constructive critical comment. You gave an example of what you felt was off, and gave an example of what you feel is a better way. THAT is helpful.
The comment I replied negatively to, he came across as just trying to tell me how to write my story. There IS a difference.
Thank you for being constructive.
As for me hitting the box. I was trying to express that I was pleased. That is all. The box is nice, but the story will be written with or without being featured.
4501452 A badass that will piss in your Cheerios and steal your candy!
4501115 I do not remember that.
...Uh, I'm sorry, where's the gore tag in this?
4501610 You think it's enough to warrant it?