Friendship is Escape Velocity

by Cardboard Box

Someone Been Picking on Me Blues

“Hope you weren't thinking of entering Primm,” one of the soldiers remarked to Joe, “It's all gone to hell.”

“Yeah, I know, some ghoul told me,” Joe replied. Behind him Harmony Incarnate shared annoyed looks as they were ignored in the conversation. “Who's in charge?”

“Lieutenant Hayes,” a thumb jerked towards one of the tents, “If you wanna know more ask him.”

“We'll try to take care of your, uh, horses,” another soldier added, “I think we can spare the water.”

“Or one of them sarsaparillas would be good,” Applejack butted in, causing all the soldiers to gape and one to almost drop his mess-tins in surprise.

“Goddamnit!” the hungry private yelled, “Larry, did you slip some Jet or something into the food?”

“Ooh Jet?” The bright pink, almost luminous pony now grinning into his face didn't need any stimulants. “What's Jet? Does it make you see things or does it make you feel like you're going really really fast like that Jet guy in the Wonderbolts I mean he's almost as fast as Rainbow over there –”

She stopped with a startled squeak due to Applejack walking over and hauling her away by her tail. “Leave 'm alone, Pinkie, he's tryin' to eat,” was the hat-wearing mare's explanation. “Hey, where's Twilight?”

---

“I'm Lieutenant Hayes of the New California Republic Army,” the ranking officer stated to Joe, “Fifth Battalion, First Company. What's your – hey, who let that horse in here?”

Joe looked around to see Twilight had followed him in. “The name's Twilight, and I'm a unicorn,” she corrected, “Now what the hay was that sentry of yours talking about?”

Hayes' jaw flapped, then he collected himself. “Powder Gangers from the NCRCF up north – that's NCR Correctional Facility. A little bit ago the convicts there staged a coup, killed the guards that weren't able to escape, and have been ransacking the area since then.”

“Convicts?” Twilight frowned, then her eyes went wide. “You mean they took over a prison?”

“Yeah,” Hayes grudgingly admitted. “They've taken to calling themselves Powder Gangers. Mostly because they've taken to using the explosives meant to clear boulders as weapons. I'd love to know who the jackass was who thought that giving criminals access to explosives was a good idea and... well anyway, they got organized faster than I would have thought, most of them at least. Thankfully the small group in town here seem to have split off from the main force, so they aren't getting anything in the way of support.”

“Iffn they ain't supported, means they're easy pickin's,” Joe grunted.

“Like hell. They're holed up in the Bison Steve Hotel – the one with the roller coaster. They're using it for an elevated firing position, and they can see clear down the main entrance. And there's at least two guarding the car park outside the Vicki & Vance. And we don't have the force required to liberate the town, damn it.”

“Um...” the two men looked at the mare. “What's happened to the people who live here?”

“They're barricaded in the Vicki & Vance casino. There's only one way in, and they've got Primm Slim as well as enough ammo to hold off an attack. So they're okay for now.”

“I need to get inside,” Joe said at last, “I need to talk to Johnson.”

Hayes just grunted. “Good luck if you can. I can't send anyone with you because I can't afford to lose 'em. Fuckin' Vipers down the road and if it isn't ghouls, there's a pair of radscorpions in the area.” He didn't elaborate. Joe understood at once.

“And you don't know where they are do you?” Twilight turned and stuck her head out of the tent. “Rainbow, can you come in here please?”

When the cyan pegasus entered, the small regulation tent started to feel crowded. “Rainbow Dash here did some scouting earlier,” she explained, “Tell 'em what you saw,” she instructed her friend.

“Right, well, if you go straight for that big building with the roller coaster –”

“Bison Steve,” Hayes nodded.

“– well, there's a broken building on the right with two, uh, people in it, and there was one sort of just lying on the ground next to that.”

“We know,” Hayes replied, “He was probably killed when these bastards moved in.”

Rainbow blinked. “Um – there's about three roaming around way over yonder where those shacks are, and I saw two more between the big buildings. And maybe half a dozen on the coaster itself, but they're a way back from this side.” She frowned, trying to think if there was anything else she'd missed out.

“Little... uh... lady,” Hayes said quietly, “I think you just gave us one hell of a useful bit of intel there. Unfortunately it just makes things worse. That coaster gives those bastards an elevated field of fire up to the entrances of both buildings.”

The cyan pegasus frowned. “Um, I think I have an idea.”

---

Hayes and Twilight followed Rainbow Dash outside and watched as she jumped straight up into the sky in a whirl of dust and loose debris.

“What the hay was that all about?” Rarity was not happy. “The last thing I need is more dust in my coat! I mean, how long before we find a decent groomer?”

Twilight didn't answer, her horn glowing softly as she tracked Dashie's ascent. “I think I know what she's gonna do,” she said uncertainly.

A light began to descend out of the Mojave sky. The light was increasingly prismatic, increasingly familiar and descending very fast. The unicorn's eyes widened.

“Oh sweet Celestia she is! Take cover!”

A few seconds later, a deafening rainbow blast slammed into Primm.

In settlements all over the Mojave, the sound (and, in some cases, light) of the Sonic Rainboom brought people outside to look for the source. In Primm, the refugees in the Vicki & Vance looked up in fear, assuming the Powder Gangers were trying to dynamite their way in through the ceiling. Inside the Bison Steve, chaos erupted as bewildered Gangers tried to get outside to repel intruders.

Outside the Bison Steve, rusted nails and bolts, worn by two hundred years of neglect, finally gave way. Cracked, rotten and tired timbers disintegrated under the shockwave. The sentries on the old rollercoaster attempted to run for the Bison's side door, or head for the ground where paying customers used to board and debark, but too late. Fully a dozen men were severely injured or killed as the Stampede, “The Wildest Ride in Primm!”, lived up to its name for the last time.

Several miles south, Rainbow Dash was working very hard on turning back to Primm without crashing into anything – no mean feat when you're about twelve feet off the ground, sending giant bugs and startled humans sprawling in your wake. What she wanted to do was make another high-speed pass over the lookouts in the broken building, but she just needed to bleed off some speed in order to avoid breaking a wing first.

---

The man watched the hurtling pegasus through binoculars, ignoring the moans of the crucified and the screams of the women his men were enjoying. They were deep within Dissolute territory, after all, very close to a major NCR stronghold, and his men deserved a little rest and relaxation. The shenanigans of the town's mayor were a pleasant justification, but really they were just obeying orders.

No doubt the flying horse was something to do with the explosion coming from Primm, that settlement which was a microcosm of the Dissolute city controlled by Mister House. Not having access to a radio, he didn't know about the remarkable visitors to Goodsprings yet.

Now all he and his men had to do was wait for someone to bear witness to the might of the Legion.

---

Back in Primm, meanwhile, the rest of Harmony Incarnate, as well as Haversack Joe and the NCR troopers, gaped at the boil of dust that was obscuring the town.

“Sonic Rainbooms are so awesome!” Pinkie yelled happily.

“Looks like a good time to visit,” Joe remarked thoughtfully.

Hayes looked at him, then made a command decision. “Prepare to move in,” he ordered, “Hinckley, Suarez, you secure the car park. Haines, Meyer, you go in and neutralise the forward post. Everyone else is to secure the Bison Steve entrance and shut down any resistance. Cooper! Disarm those mines and move out!”

Joe was already moving, and gave the ponies a meaningful look as he did so.

“Um...” Fluttershy murmured nervously as the first shots were exchanged, “I think Mr Joe wants us to stay here.”

“I'm happy with that,” Twilight replied grimly, “I've don't want to...”

She trailed off. Nopony spoke. They all knew what she meant.

“Where's Rainbow?” Applejack asked.

The tension in the herd increased by an order of magnitude.

---

By the time Rainbow managed to turn herself around and back to Primm, she could see just what she'd pulled off.

The Bison Steve was surrounded on all sides by dust and on three sides by the debris of the coaster – speckled with crumpled shapes the pegasus mare didn't want to look at too closely. The front was surrounded by troopers, all converging on one spot, probably the front door.

But now she could see another door on the hotel's south wall.

“Hey!” she yelled, descending at a relatively sedate crash dive towards what looked like the NCR leader, “There's another door!”

Lieutenant Hayes was briefing his troops on what to expect inside when a faint shout was followed by a small windstorm. Once he got his bearings, he found himself confronted by – oh yeah, Rainbow.

“There's another door on the south side!” she cried, “Three floors up!”

“And you only told me now?” Hayes was a little pissed at that. “Marcus – Snyder – go round to the south and cover that side! The rest of you, buddy up and prepare to move in! Joe, if you...” he looked around. “Where's Joe?”

“He went back to base sir,” a soldier replied, “said something about making a delivery like he was s'posed to for once.”

Hayes scowled, then nodded. “Once a Courier, always a Courier,” he said thoughtfully, then another shout came from the street. “Caravan comin'!”

Sure enough, the figure of Haversack Joe was accompanied by Rainbow Dash's five friends, all wearing their saddlebags. They stepped skittishly, Applejack shuddering at something to her left, and Fluttershy glancing at, then shying from, another crumpled shape on her right. Rarity had her eyes fixed firmly ahead of her, despite involuntary twitches at the smells of blood and gunfire, while Twilight was watching Pinkie closely.

Rainbow Dash felt herself shiver at the way the normally energetic pony's mane was drooping, almost like the time she nearly went round the bend before her surprise party. It just wasn't right. She had strange nightmares sometimes about it...

Pink locked eyes with cyan. “RAINBOW!” was followed by a sudden effusive hug, the scent of marshmallow, and a torrent of “ThatwasthemostamazingSonicRainboomeverandthenwecouldn'tseeyouanymoreandtheneveryone...”

Rainbow Dash and Twilight sighed with relief.

“I'll never know how that pony can move so fast,” Joe grumbled.

Behind them Hayes cleared his throat. “Uh... Rainbow,” he began a little awkwardly, “Next time you pull something like that, clear it with your CO, okay?”

A brief silence fell, then Hayes was presented with the sight of a pony actually blushing with embarrassment. “Uh, yeah,” Rainbow dug at the broken asphalt nervously, “but it worked didn't it?”

“Yeah yeah,” Joe said harshly, “now let's get into the Vicki & Vance.”

Comments

[Old Diggy]

Both in this and last chapter you've had Rainbow talking like Doc, you might want to fix that because, honestly, it's getting annoying.