• Member Since 24th Jul, 2012
  • offline last seen Saturday

MidnightDancer


"Never grow a wishbone, daughter, where your backbone ought to be."– Clementine Paddleford

T
Source

Twinkleshine and Melliot have weathered storms together, but for the past year or so, the raging seas have torn them apart.

Twinkleshine, feeling suppressed and hurt with nopony to turn to, has to make her choice.

Because she can.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 30 )

The feels, this story deserves to have a group dedicated to it. Great job. :twilightsmile:

4492867 I've toyed with the idea of making a support group, actually. Just never did

4493060 That's fine then. :raritywink:

Whoop-whoop, it's here! :pinkiehappy:

Bloody hell...

This story was dark. Reading this story was like watching a train barrel down the tracks towards a a school bus stalled out on a level crossing; you know exactly where the train will go and what will happen with inevitable helplessness. To be honest I had to stop half way through and skip to the end to see if everything worked out OK. This kind of stuff really gets under my skin.

The most horrifying thing about this story is the ending. I cannot imaging events ending so well if you were alone and had no community to help you.

4493288 Yeah, it's more a 'best possible case' ending, to remind myself that it's possible.

4493281 Hope you like the rest of it!

Ending seems like a bit of a deus ex machina, but I'm a sucker for happy endings, so it's okay with me. The tone and atmosphere are great. Twinkleshine walking in eggshells around Melliot, having to constantly evaluate every little word and action. And then the relief when he's being Good Melliot, relief so palpable that it could almost be mistaken for happiness, if you squinted at it from the right angle.

It's hard to say I enjoyed the story (aside from the aforementioned ending), but it definitely had an impact. The best way for me to describe it is a powerful, but not necessarily enjoyable read.

4494159 yeah. Wasn't meant to be enjoyable, exactly. You know how some folks write down pros and cons of a situation to work through it? Ponyfic is sort of my version of that. When I write a problem I'm having as a narrative, its easier for me to work through.

Regardless, I'm glad I got the tone right. Thank you :yay:

It's difficult to comment without repeating what has already been said by SIGAWESOME and OneNinerKilo - not an easy or enjoyable story to read, but certainly emotionally powerful. Excellently paced as well; for me, you steadily ramped up the 'sinking feelings', and just when I got to the point of asking 'why the hell is she even with this guy?', you shone a little light on his good side. And then plunged me deeper. So, when the light at the end of the tunnel appeared, I was kept wondering if it was in fact an on-coming train, and right up until the end I was waiting for the impact.
So, thank you, thank you, thank you! for making it a happy-ish ending. I'm really not sure how I would have felt if it had been an unhappy ending.

All in all, great job - but don't write too many of these sorts of stories; I don't think my emotions could take it. :applejackconfused: :twilightsmile:

Amazing...
If you ever tell yourself you're a bad writer, I will throw this in your face and say, "Is that proof enough?"
Very, very well done.

¡I do not like Melliot!

I'm quite pleased we got such a wonderful ending—Twinkle standing up for herself like that really made me smile. The rest of the story is a grim reality, a pleasure I gain in ponyfics more than anything else. While many write ponyfics as a form of escapism, I honor and embrace those who forgo that and instead keep the ponyworld as real as possible. Perhaps that's just me being overly edgy, but... this story was not, and was an amazing read.

Twinkle's a strong independent pone who don't need no stallion

I'm reminded of Ibsen's A Doll's House.

4496117
You and your knowledge of things I don't know.

You know, sometimes I think happy endings are overrated and stories that end with everything alright are stupid and unrealistic. This story helped combat some of my deeply held cynicism and remind me why people like stories with unambiguously happy endings. So thanks.

4500078 No problem. It could have easily ended really poorly for Twinkleshine, but I needed the encouragement so I wrote it

also the next day I got a job in my field when I've been looking for ages so idk maybe it was good luck

Hey, a Twinkleshine story! Don't see those everyday.

I got a little worried at the end, but that conclusion was very satisfying. You did an excellent job nailing the emotions throughout the entirety of the story. Absolutely fantastic work!

It’s taken forever to get this off my “add to my read later list list”, let alone actually getting around to reading it. (And, surprisingly enough, almost as long to comment — I’ve had this tab open for months now.) Because She Could was as pretty much everything I expected it to be. It’s a shining example of the old adage it’s not the destination, it’s the journey dark as I thought it would be and better than promised.

Wow... how have I not come across this earlier? This was brilliant. All of it. Just... this was a great read. This is a keeper.

5681234 Thank you!


5021491 Thank you :) I know it was kind of dark in places...but you gotta get through the dark to make it back into the light, and that's the journey I took this year.

10/10. Great story x3

So...what would Neil Gaiman's name be if it were ponified? :rainbowhuh:

I've rarely seen a fic plunge into such depression yet have such an optimistic conclusion. It was somewhat refreshing really.

I thought about this lately.

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