Warning: There will be spoilers for the game watch dogs, if you don't want any of it, don't read this story.
Aiden has gotten his revenge on lucky Quinn. Quinn has killed his niece 11 months earlier, but he needs to help a newcomer back to her world one way or another.
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hwat
4482941 what?
This is an injustice.
4482948 Yes, that's what I said
4482982 you sir are a hacking god... sorry I couldn't help myself but to say that.
4482985 wait, what?
4482998 get hakt.
Good idea, but it really requires some fine tuning.
4483007 NO I HAD $2000 DOLLARS IN MY ACCOUNT
4483027 tuning?
Wat
4483065 I think he means editing.
Please fix the grammar, I love the concept you're having in your story.
4483362 okay that'll be easy
Was wondering when the first MLPxWatch_Dogs cross would come out. While this does needs a good round of editing, it's interesting enough that I'll keep an eye on it.
good story only complaints i have are that of spelling errors capitalization errors (you got to capitalize the pony's names) and everything went to fast
4484508 too fast? It's exactly what happens in the game to tell you the truth and it has to have a pony on earth and inter-dimensional travel is tough.
4483065 Slow down the story, describe the environment and actions of nearby people better, check for proper grammar and spelling... In case it was TL;DR, refine the story.
4484974 You make a good point. I'll do that ASAP.
4485021 he basically said what i meant but i didnt go into details
sorry anyways yeah describe stuff it should slow down the story and make it go at a good pace for the reader
4486319 Thanks, I think it'll help
hmm story appears a bit newbish but i must read further
4487386 newbish?
This is ridiculous and you should feel bad for writing this.
1. Yes, you are the first one to make a Watch_Dogs/MLP crossover.
2. Great story but requires a tad of fine tuning. I suggest finding an editor to give it a once-over and make a few corrections here and there (or do it yourself if you don't want one and have enough time)
3. I demand copious amounts of MOAR!
4488040 I think they mean stuff like punctuation, grammar, spelling, and details (I forget how much or how little your story had of this) basically anything a writer without a editor/writer that hasn't been writing for very long can mess up on.
Come on update
4509592 YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED TALKING DOWN WATCHDOGS!
4741140
You can't bash someone for their personal opinion. I honestly don't like the game that much. And btw, the story could use some work, mainly the spacing, punctuation, and transitions.
Why does every good story stop or just take a long time to finish?
Is this the ending when Adrian killed Quinn or not?
5187119 this takes place afterwards, so it's a what if future story
Hello? are you there? if you can hear me please uppdate this.
This could use an editor, as there are numerous, basic grammar errors. For example:
The period at the end of the dialogue needs to be a comma.
The period at the end of the dialogue needs to be a question mark and the "T" in "the" needs to be lower case.
The "s" in "so" needs to be capitalized.
The "e" in "Equestria" needs to be capitalized and the period at the end of the dialogue needs to be a comma.
Spell out the numbers. It weakens the writing.
Yes, I will blame you. You're the author, and this story isn't a video game. It's a "novel" (despite lacking the length for that title). Come up with a reason.
These are just a few examples of the errors, and they are throughout the chapter.
5931377 I see why you're upset, but unfortunately, I have no editor, I have asked some people before, but they declined my offer
5935113
There are groups for that issue. Here are two of the biggest that I know of:
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors
https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/the-proofreader-group
PS: Not really angry, but annoyed at the rather basic grammar faults. Too many stories that have interesting plotlines get ruined because of basic faults like that.
5935324 thank you and my sincere apologies for my grammar
THIS STORY IS GOOD, I DEMAND MOAR *Smashes computer*
shit
I WILL WAIT TILL THE VOID EXPLODES FOR THIS STORY TO MOVE ON!
when the next chapter
damn it was going so well
but dead story is dead