Kuzan had no idea where he is, how he got here, or any idea on how to return home. All he remembered was taking a nap on Camel and waking up in the middle of a forest when he was pretty sure he was in the middle of the sea.
Well the good news is that he found a native, hopefully one that will tell him where he's at. The bad news? Neither of them can understand each other due to a language barrier, not to mention that said native is a blue unicorn that he saved from death... Actually, compare to the things he have seen in life, that doesn't even phase him.
Still he has to find a way home... after a quick nap.
Chapters (4)
Interesting story. I like it you have earned my favorite!
Ararara!
This is going to be good.
Well, this is a good start, that's for sure. It's got the right tone, IMO.
...Though I've never been a fan of the whole "we don't speak the same language" thing in any sort of fan fiction.
I like this, it has potential.
Insta-fave!
You got my attention let's see where this goes
Hey, a good start! Let's see where it goes!
Keep an eye on your tenses, you switch between past and present quite often. I'd suggest you stick to past tense entirely.
This seems cool enough for a like, lets hope things chill down during this story
Hehehehe, let us see where this goes.
Very interesting. I really wonder how any of the ponies will react to seeing Kuzan's scars and missing parts? Keep up the good work!!
http://onepiece.wikia.com/wiki/Hie_Hie_no_Mi
Kuzan is easily one of my favorite characters in ANY form of media!
I Like! I Fave! It gets all of my YES!
Him in Equestria? This i gotta keep my Eyes on.
4482436 hey man stay frosty cuz this gonna be one hell of fic
No freaking way, I gotta fave this!
....Yeessssssss....
(Second fiction i've seen with an Admiral coming to Equestria, alone. YESSSSS...)
Aaaaand faved.
Aokiji?(Kuzan) In Equestria?
4492252 Aokiji is his title while Kuzan is his real name
4492483 hmmm i always tought it was the reverse....
huh you learn something new every day i guess
static.gamespot.com/uploads/original/1461/14619451/2517700-4761229765-kp8te.gif
4480681
I've always been more of a fan of the old "different world, different language" kind of thing. Its a great way for a character from one universe rely on a pony to help them thus making easier for said character to interact with others, even if he/she is a loner.
Kuzan is someone that would perfer to work alone so no one can give him orders that go against his morals. I'm surprised that he stayed in the World Government for so long actually considering how corrupt they are.
I really hope that this story does not fall into the classic and annoying HiE cliches, because the subject and the character give it the possibility to be really, really good.
4495690
Do tell what are those cliches? I've only been on this site for a while so I haven't gotten to read a lot of HiE fics. Knowing those cliches would be helpful in avoiding them.
4492483 Not title, nickname! his title was taishou --> admiral; his name is Kuzan, his nickname in the marine was Aokiji, which means blue pheasant
4496611
Admiral was his rank, not title. And Aokiji was more of a codename.
I'll be clearing up about the whole Aokiji/Kuzan thing right now.
His real name is Kuzan.
His alias was Aokiji.
His rank was Admiral.
I hope that clears everything up for everyone!
4495709 one of those cliches is definitely, that everyone involved either freaks out too much or too little at, in the human's case, finding highly intelligent ponies or finding out that he/she is not in kansas anymore, or, in the ponies case, that there is a (possibly fabled) bipedal creature on their peaceful lands. finding the sweet spot for that is more or less the main reason most people read past the first chapter where the factions meet.
4501877
Ah well the freak out thing about intelligent ponies is completely avoided in this case considering the world that Kuzan came from. His former job probably had him encounter a wide varity of people and cultures, each one unique and weird in their own way. Seriously, compared to the sheer amount of weirdness in One Piece, Equestria might as well be considered a vacation spot from all that craziness.
4501915 to prove you wrong I only need say three more words; Pinkamena Diane Pie
4504581
I have four words of my own; He was an admiral.
What this means is that its nearly impossible to surprise someone of his rank and while Pinkie is well Pinkie, even she'll have major trouble catching him offguard.
Not saying its impossible but rather very near it considering that nearly everytime Kuzan is shown on screen, he is either in control of a situation or taking it in stride.
4504623 he did look rather surprised when luffy used the conqueror's Haki at marineford if he is even the least bit surprised at that, how surprised will he be when pinkie beaks the laws of physics on a regular basis?
4504655
Every Devil Fruit breaks nearly every law of science and physics just by existing. Luffy's own turned him into rubber, Kuzan's gave him the ability to freeze the sea for miles and freeze people solid, and Chopper's own turned him into a human/raindeer.
And I'm mentioning the more normal devil fruits.
I said 'nearly' for a reason.
This takes me back to when the Straw Hat Pirates first took on Aokiji and failed miserably. Those poor kids
Luffy, especially. He got off easy thanks to his deed in Alabasta.
4504824
Ah memories. Anyways, from one OP fan to another, is Kuzan in character well enough? I've always had trouble telling whether or not they are whenever I write.
4504828
Thank god Kuzan kicked their asses and then froze them, I doubt they are going to try that again.
4504838 i got a question is kuzan going to be talking througth all you author notes
4504920
Yeah pretty much.
4504931 ok then stay frosty
will the next chapter take 5-6 months to come out? like this one
Pfft..I'm pretty sure Usopp could have beaten those three...
4505138
Almost every character that has fought in the entire series could have taken them without too much trouble.
A fantastic story you have here. Just the thing I was needing to bust through a nasty dose of writer's block.
4505155 I'm pretty sure that they equal an average pirate.......So, yea.
4505168
I've always found a nice run was just the thing to clear a writer's block.
Kuzan is so badass.
4505174
I've found exercise does little to help clear writers block for me. Which is a real pain when you simply cannot get a scene right.
Cool story. i enjoy write faster
So far I have to admit I'm loving this, although Kuzan seems slightly less lazy than he usually is. The only times I think he's been well not lazy is during the Marineford arc and most likely against Akainu. And even then he was still moving at his own pace during the War. Either way, I do think you're doing a rather good job at portraying him, and glad you mentioned his speed, I've had people tell me that he doesn't seem fast for some reason or another.