• Member Since 5th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 16th, 2022

Dash Attack

Aspiring film editor. When I write I shoot for awesome and nothing less. Anti-censorship and pro free-speech.

Comments ( 122 )

About time someone did this. Ive been craving for more dragon stories.

update update:flutterrage::flutterrage:

male masterabtion

Mmmm I have to try this one yet :rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:

4575284 I've got alot of fix too update this summer, but seeing how this story is doing very well, I'll try working on it between fics. I'm going to take my time to make sure it's not only well written, but sexy.

I have a lot of issues with this story, but the most prominent is that it seriously needs proofing. The protagonist is variously Fizzle, Fizzel, and Fissel, and there's a lot of bad grammar and missing punctuation. It actually makes the story hard to understand at some points.

I'll leave it at that for now--a full proofing is a pretty hefty recommendation by itself, and I don't want to throw too much at someone who seems to be writing primarily for fun.

4576325 I tried to get this to professional editor. No one was available. The correct spelling is Fizzle

4576365 You use 'too' wrongly in the summary.

4576365 Do you need a professional editor? If you use Skype, I can schedule you in for Mondays.


Fantastic story (I was hipster and read before the feature box :P) that I heartily look forward to more of. I'd be happy to edit it for you in the future if you would like me too :twilightsmile:

And also, since the feature box uses the long description, I'd recommend that you move your warning to after the actual description, since this managed to end up there (yeah, I was freaking out when mine hit it too :D)

4576957 Thank you kindly for the offer, and I agree with you suggestion. The warning was only there because I thought a concept like this would explode in my face.


4576970 Well it seems like most people like it as of yet and I have read far worse things on this site in all areas XD

Nice concept but the grammar kills it for me. I'll be happy to give it a second look after you get it edited, though.


Collage Student and esspiring game animator/writer.

College student and aspiring game animator/writer.

4577532 Thanks Jack.:pinkiehappy:
Anyways what do you think of the story so far (not counting grammar)?

Our species is conservative by nature,

Might want to find a different word than "conservative"; makes it look like you have an agenda.

4577980 Just because the word has a political connotation doesn't poison it for other uses.
For instance, George Bush may very well apply BBQ sauce liberally to his steak. :pinkiegasp:

4577994 4577980 Exactly. Besides, my family is full of republicans. I for one stopped caring about American politics after the last presidential election.

Again, it's no link cause NSFW

Dude, you're writing porn. You realize this, right?

4578092 Obama? If that's who you mean, I agree with you. He's trying to remove the CONSTITUTION!!

Comment posted by Primordial Deomontus deleted Jun 21st, 2014

It's against fimfic's rules. Dink.:facehoof:

And so I never brought it up with anyone. Fizzle’s thoughts were clear.


4579159 I 100 percent agree. Even without a professional editor, that was sloppy of me. Hell, I'm cringing right now and I wrote the line. I'm rewording this pronto.

4579654 Other than that it seems fairly interesting.
Though it's... Cringeworthy in a lot of places, mostly because me, as a bisexual can relate to homosexuals.
I know it's not written how you believe, this is merely you telling a story, as a DM/GM, and fellow writer I know how it is.

4578707 No politics please. Everyone see thing differently. Let's just agree that ponies and dragons are awesome.

4579663 Well, I consider myself straight, but I do have some not so straight fetishes online, though physical gay sex isn't one of them. So one could argue I'm a little bi. I tried my best to try and put myself in the the shoes of another indulge for the sake of the story. Thing get pretty harsh in this prologue, between the monologue, Fizzle's flash back, and that really sad seen with Garbel. I got to say, writing some of those scenes were really tough, cause I started to feel really bad for the character.

4579696 Dude, did your keyboard break?

4579702 I'm just that bad with spelling. I have a language base learning disability, witch doesn't help, but I try not use it as crutch. Every story I right, people pick up on my grammar, but the fact that people still read and like my work means I must be doing something right.

Also, Google has the worst auto correct ever. Is there an extension I can find to make it better?

4579715 Eh, I don't use auto-correct so I wouldn't know, I scored A in English for several years straight so I don't know.

4579715 This is totally relevant to what we're talking about.

Comment posted by The Shade deleted Jun 21st, 2014

4579773 Can't deal with my double-post!

I just noticed half that picture is a tit. So I have no idea how long that's gonna last. :twilightblush:

4579882 There's no nipple so it's fine. Mystique from X-Men movies is a perfect example of it. Technically she's a naked chick in a PG-13 comic book movie franchise, yet they put her in the promotional posters. It's ok cause there's no nipple though.

It's a "sensuality technicality".


4579682 Agreed, although ponies are better (Luna is best pony. Muahahaha)

Yo, legit? That's fucking stupid.

It's against site rules to link to a nsfw site or source.:rainbowwild:

Why would a dragon need boobs? :rainbowhuh:

dragons may be mythical but they still have to feed there young.

Interesting concept, if a Homosexual Man becomes a women, wouldnt he, now she, be attracted to women instead of men?

4581591 That sounds like it would mak a great Philosoraprtor caption.

4578838 Show them the way Sir Hat! Preach on you beautiful motherfuckair!

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