Living alone in a world full of ponies is tiresome sometimes, thankfully it isn't that kind of story, with the aid of his 'uncles' and his new friends perhaps he can live in this new home of his, and perhaps find love.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This is good but terribly confusing
4492874
Yes, it needs serious editing.
4492874 Sometime even the greatest stories, have the confusing beginnings. I will admit it's a bit confusing. Hopefully the next chapter can explain a bit.
4492879 Yes, it does. My grammar isn't all that great as you can see. Hopefully I can find someone who can help edit it.
4492894
Well, I am an editor for several members on this site already...
*looks at username*
Huh....go figure XD
The amount of just tense problems in this story is painful and makes it hard for me to read. Basic rule of English writing is that you never mix tenses in the same sentence. You do that but also cannot keep a consistent tense throughout the story. You either choose present tense or past tense. Most choose past tense to tell stories and they stick to it. You need someone to go back and edit this for easier readability.
Example is this sentence which just hurts to read an sounds horrible when read aloud.
I mean "Oh he do not mean seeing" sounds bad by itself but the rest of the sentence does not flow. "[H]e already seen enough of that" sounds just as bad.
Okay, dude. I can't read this until you learn some English conjugation. Please make your grammar a bit less awful?
I'm not reading this till it gets proofread at least twice. Couldn't get through the third paragraph
I like it so far can't wait to see whats next.
Rereading this since you posted a new chapter. Honestly I thought you abandoned this. But I guess real life got in the way like it usually does. Well regardless nice to know you're continuing this!
8634869
Honestly, I tried to keep writing the new chapter the best I could...but I was stuck. I didn't knew how to proceed on something and in hindsight? It might of been good for me to take this long as I had to 'mature' a bit in my writing. Granted the grammar might not be the best...but in term of story making? Well, I say I heavily improve thanks to practice.
For the love of Equestria somepony offer to edit this. It wouldn't be that hard and the idea is interesting enough. I really want to read this.