Ths Fifteenth Entry
Fire.
Green flames are all I see.
They want to kill us.
I won't let them.
Ponyville... they don't like that I'm a big dragon. They... they want me gone. And they hate all of us because I'm here. They are all going to kill us. They've all got together, scheming. I know. The voices told me. They told me to attack. To protect us all...
Twilight has fallen into their trap. She doesn't believe they want us dead. She thinks that they mean us no harm. But I know better. And if Ponyville wants to betray us, I will fight them back.
Tomorrow, I will escape this basement, and I will unleash my anger on them. No longer will I hold back. I will destroy them all. Their houses will burn in green flames, they will all run away from me in fear. And nothing will ever stop me.
Not Celestia.
Not the elements of harmony.
Not even Twilight.
I won't let it happen. I never will. Because although they hurt me and turned me into the miserable dragon I am today...
I will still protect them.
And I still love them.
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Fire fire fire fire fire fire firefirefirefireFireFireFireFireFIREFIREFIREFIREFIREFIRE!
....Ughh......
Those..fucking..idiots......
Violence isn't the answer. Violence is the question and the answer is yes!
If you can't solve your problems with violence, then you're not using enough of it.
4809821
4809808 Kill it with fire.
4809808
4809821
4809863 Oh yeah, I forgot to do something that will piss you all off!
Sequel will be out soon!
4809867 Already pissed off..Ponyville handled this horribly. Very, very horribly.
Why not get, i dunno, LUNA TO HELP!? CAUSE, YA KNOW, SHE WAS REHABILITATED?!
4809887 Ponyville didn't do anything to him. The voices convinced him that he was going to be attacked. Ponyville was just minding their own business. Btw, the thing I said that was gonna piss you off was me putting this story on complete.
4809893
Surprisingly, I'm serene about your decision.
How come after reading this I want to write a story where spike becomes a red lantern
God dammit....I thought there was hope! But now the voices practically built a wall around himself and now he's gonna destroy the town!
4809893
What about how they all feared and subjugated him because of his new appearance?
Wow, I can't wait for the sequal to see what happens next.
Evil Spike ready for launch
...
...
Launch...
*BOOOOM*
Launch successful sir
..
..
Good.
No Spike!
Screw you your no good doing voices, screw you all to heck!!!
4809893 Well, i suspect the Diary would have been destroyed..
But, hey, this might have not come about had Ponyville actually given a shit about it's only draconic resident. Instead of outright shun him. Like all his fucking friends did. Dear god, to be honest, the ponies might as well DESERVE some of what they're getting..Canterlot included, hopefully.
4809867 Like what?
4809893
This music comes to mind when Spike goes beserk and dragons up.
Suppose he is surrounded by the Equestrian guard, Shining Armor, The mane 6 and the 3 princesses. Every time they attack or try to subdue him.
Spike will just get back up and becomes more dragon like as he gets angrier.
When it looks like they defeated him, Spike takes on a new form (Alduin or Deathwing).
Twilight decided all hope of saving Spike was lost and tries to use Rainbow power.
Spike catches on and lets out a devastating earth shattering roar. Disrupting the power Rainbows and stunning everypony surrounding him.
4810975 You said that already...
4811161 My bad.
4810966 Like harming him alot
4811954 Ooooh.
.
Thanks
4812208 Np :3
That story took a right hand turn back in the 10 chapter. Not sure what or how to feel about Spike. So to put simply he went insane, has multiple personality disorder, and has become very violent. So is this just how dragons are supposed to be?
4825943 Because it makes story longer and distracts you all from the fact that I'm running out of dea- I mean it makes the story more interesting
4830577 Oh, I thought you'd say he reminded you of Bo Burnham...
Well this was... Depressing. Good story though!
4832811 Thanks. Sequel coming soon!
Chapter seven, a misspelled "Then" That's all I saw, but it's a brilliant story.
4850882 Thank you.
My excuse for having any grammar or spelling mistakes is that it's a diary. People don't always write perfectly ya know.
4851566 Oh trust me. I know that personally as a writer myself.
Hello Sonic. This is going to be an attempt at some constructive criticism, and I don't want to be an arsehole because I kinda like this story so please don't take this personally and I would like your opinion.
Let's begin...
1. Imma be blunt with this, most of Spikes complaints really sound over exaggerated and like it's coming from a bitchy teenager. And yes I believe he addressed it himself in the story but later he starts complaining about the same type of crap sooo......yeah.
2. I don't like Discords backstory for two or three reasons. One because it's way to convenient I mean I'm all for Discords backstory being sad but seriously? Two because it demeans his status as the spirit of chaos, he goes from being the reformed chaotic previous ruler of Equestria to a person who has some issues with revenge and made him from someone who is the embodiment of chaos to a guy who desided to punish an entire race for being bullied(ps. None of you whiny people start assuming that I was never bullied or "You never knew what it felt like" and crap like that cause I was. No I will not tell you the who what when where why and how cause it's none ya random internet peoples bidness.) Doesn't that seem like it's making him seem just a little bit dumb? And three the way he got his power I'm sorry but that is not creative or logical sounding. He found the Alicorn amulet, absorbed a bunch of its power and that's where his god-like power came from? I mean it took two immortal Alicorn Princesses the most powerful force in Equestria to beat him. You can see in the show that he has them in his paws just playing with them while they make threats.
3. The it seems like you hint at reasons for stuff like Spike saying he feels greedy pretty soon after "going through puberty overnight". It just makes me feel like your leaving us hanging.
4. The insanity thing feels...what's the right word? Cliche? Stereotypical? Like the worat type of predictable? The latter's probably the best.
5. It seems like Spike lost the intelligence he shows in the show. Like how usually he figure out the right thing or idea or finds the right book when the others just disregard him and in the end when it turns out he was right all along he doesn't even get credit.
6. THE SLURRED WORDS. Yeah people don't write their words slurred when they're drunk, they may misspell words or forget a letter or two and write sloppily but No people do not slurr words on paper. Unless the last couple chapters weren't actually written then it would be ok but if not then No thats dumb.
Again I want to say that please don't take offence while some of these are my opinions they're still constuctive criticism. And also I would like a response back from you and second opinions from anyone who cares.
Thank you. Also I may have forgotten some things so I might comment again.
4883477 I get all of your points...
Except the last one. He did NOT slur his words. He only misspelled some and even put punctuation inside one of the words on accident.
But I know my Discord story sucks, it was hard to make up something to make him relate with Spike with.
I let Spike be a whinny bitch in the story because in his diary, he can complain and whine about whatever he wants to. He can write down all of his problems and try to compose himself around other ponies. He can lose his mind there. He's free there!
The insanity... I almost slipped into it. I just completed how I would've done to tell the truth. That's how it was with me, but I ended up getting better. So I guess my situation was... Cliché? Stereotypical? Predictable.
But to tell you the truth that's stuff I already noticed. But everypony liked how it was going so I didn't say anything. Please comment back sir/ma'am!
P.S. Of course I am not offended! I wouldn't be offended if you called me a bitch. I'm too nice for that!
4883683 Oooh
I downloaded your story to my phone so I guess it got a little messed up in some areas...sorry bout that.
Pplbbb your Discord story isn't that bad I just thought it didn't do him justice and in all honesty I couldn't have come up with anything if I was writing because I suck at it.
Yeah I can agree that's what I thought, I think I have Spike as too mature in my head.
Welp there we go I'm an arsehole...so your saying Spikes story is basically an extended version of yours? Yep I'm a jerk... I knew I was gonna regret saying something.
You know I have to correct something I said in my previous comment. I DO like your story because it was made well, you put a lot of effort into it which is somethin I admire, and it legitimately made me sad...so I liked it
Again sorry for being an arse...
( I'm a guy)
4884171 It's okay I don't mind.
Yeah, but I still feel like I could've made it better. Something a bit more clever.
No no! You're not an arsehole just for misunderstanding my situation. People do that mistake a lot, it really isn't your fault. Yes I almost fell into insanity like this, yes I felt unappreciated and I was kicked around and abused by other kids in school, but I dramatized this story a liiiitle bit, and completed the insanity thing. I'm pretty sure the insanity kinda looked predictable because I never got to finish my decent into it and had to imagine how it would've ended up being. Half of it was purely imagination and theories. Please don't beat yourself up for having an opinion. If we didn't have those, where would all of the wonderful bronies be?
I'm glad you liked the story, and I hope you'll like the sequel when it comes out. Again, you are not an arsehole sir, and your constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Thank you!
4885660 Thanks but I still feel like an aths...sigh I always manage to say the worst crap at the worst time.
Yeah I wasn't bullied like that it was more the subtle "Your stupid so let me talk dumb to you" or "Here let me take advantage of your social awkwardness an make you cry like the crybaby you are" and "No you can't join in this group even though this school only has 82 students and we're pretty much the only ones who are your age" kind of thing where it was never directly said but but...the message got across. Well at least I had one good friend that I was a jerk to...still sorry to her about that.
Just to make sure because it was in my head that someone would say this, I did not change my opinion because I felt sorry I did cause before you commented back I reread most of the story and remembered why I wanted to read it later.
Though I still feel bad. I feel as if I owe you something...hmm.
4887056 Hmm... my school had a small amout of kids like that too... and I had a friend that was a jerk to me... and I'm a girl...
...
WHO ARE YOU?!
Also, if you really reeeeally feel so bad that you want to make it up for me or else it's never gonna stop bugging you, you can follow me and give the story a fav. But you don't have to, just giving suggestions.
4887367 Huh I wouldn't have guessed you were a girl...everything you said just went through a reboot into the "from a female" slot. I feel a little weird now...
I'm someone. And you know that itch? Yeah it's a rash you should get someone to look at it...
Ha besides that I thought I had liked and faved before? Why do I always forget? It still doesn't feel like enough...hmm... I may have an idea.
.)
Wait you seem to like all the same things my friend likes...sonic, games, ponies, and art...Welp I guess all girls are the same.
( you know you seem really nice for a random internet person.
4887853 Oh goodness! Yep, had to change everything you thought about what I said now!
Nothing a little rash cream can't handle.
You and forgetting things... my friend was like that too
. Also...
You'd be surprised how different we girls really are...
4888540 I'm getting a little creeped out with all the similarities...how old are you? I think that will be definitive enough. I think...
4889359 Fourteen...
4890138 Oh ok I'm 15 and my friend's almost 16...that was getting weird.
4890160 Whew... thank goodness the creepiness is gone!
About to be 14 by the way. It's so close that I'm just saying that I'm fourteen already. But if we want to be specific, I'm still 13. Yeap, a thirteen year old is writing a story about suicide, depression and insanity. And another story about a child getting raped... another about a child going into insanity because her father mistreated her, and a crackfic about Lil Wayne getting raped by Rainbow Dash, making friends with Sonic.exe, and sniffing crack.
I'm a weird 13 year old aren't I?
4890325. Meh I've seen far worse 13year olds. And at least you seem nice and respectful so that's something...where am I going with this? I zoned out and forgot what I was going to say...well thats nice.
It seems there could be more to this story. shame you decided to leave it off here. Sill a topshelf though.
4931841 That's why I'm working on a sequel!
Spike, think about it. Who's the one pony who might understand you, and can help? The one pony who isn't mean? It's Fluttershy, isn't it? Maybe you can trust her. Maybe you can write to her. Just give it a try?
4948268 "No... she doesn't want to see me. Not after what I've done. And I don't need to see her crying about every little thing. It's too much..."
This was almost physically painful to read. Somehow in a good way.
4953233 Um... thank you! I hope it was a good read.