My Little Background Pony: Party Hardly

by comicfan616

Belated Spring Cleaning

“You’re sure you want to do this, Vinyl?” Derpy asked. “I’d hate to impose on you like this.” She and Lyra followed Vinyl down the road to her house.

“It’s not imposing if I let it happen,” Vinyl argued. “Besides, my pad is practically Grade-A party material.”

“We don’t really have much else to work with,” Lyra reminded Derpy.

“I know,” Derpy admitted. “It’s just that Vinyl kinda stumbled into it. I don’t want you to feel like you have to do something.”

“Ditzy,” Vinyl responded, “like Bon said, you ain’t Timey’s only friend. Besides, Element of Loyalty, remember? It’s practically my job to go out of my way for my friends.”

The conversation was cut short once they reached the front door to Vinyl’s house. She stood beside it like master of ceremonies. “Ladies and…” She paused when she realized what she was saying. “…ladies, I welcome you to Party Central, Equestria!” She used her magic to open the door. Derpy and Lyra looked inside.

“Population,” Lyra said: “everything but the kitchen sink. Though I wouldn’t be surprised if it was just hidden.” In hindsight, both mares should have seen this coming. Vinyl was famous in Ponyville for two things: the playing and composition of loud music. Among her friends, however, she was known for something else: the largest mess outside of a pigsty.

“Vinyl, when was the last time you actually saw the floor?” Derpy asked half-jokingly.

“Eh, I’ve lost track,” Vinyl replied. Derpy was unsure if she was just making a smart-flank comeback or actually answering her question.

The two continued to look at the mess. Various records were lying about. Papers with unfinished music scores had been crumpled and discarded. Food wrappers were absolutely everywhere. Derpy and Lyra shared an uncertain look.

Finally, Derpy sighed. “We don’t have any other options.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Lyra said, defeated. “But if we are doing the party here, we’ll have to clean up.”

“Wait, what’s ‘we’?” Vinyl asked.

“You know what they say,” Lyra replied: “many hooves make light work. Or horns.” Her horn glowed and several records lifted off the floor.

“Are you kidding?” Vinyl protested. “I have a system to this.”

“Does that system involve watching where you step?” Derpy responded. “Face it, Vinyl, we need to walk in here. And I’ll bet you want us to dance to some of your music. A clear floor would go a long way.”

Vinyl couldn’t think of an argument to that. “Okay, fine. But we do this my way; I still want to know where everything is after today.”

“Deal,” the other two said together.

---

Turner was barely paying attention to where he was going. He had no destination in mind, anyway, so he just wandered. That isn’t to say he wasn’t aware of his surroundings. He still paid attention to the other ponies around him, though this was mostly to keep from colliding with them.

He was also on the lookout for Derpy. He still wanted to apologize for what happened back at the TARDIS. But in the time he’d been wandering, he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the wall-eyed pegasus. It was always possible that her mail deliveries were over for the day, but Derpy wasn’t exactly a shut-in after work hours.

Suppose it wouldn’t hurt to check, though. He turned and, hoping his memory was reliable, headed for Derpy’s address.

---

“Where do you want these wires?” Derpy asked. She held a tangled mess of electrical cords in her hooves.

“Just leave ‘em where they were,” Vinyl said. She held up a broom in her magic and was sweeping the empty spots on the floor. “I’ll want to use those later.”

“Something I’ve been meaning to ask for a while, by the way,” Lyra said. “How did you get all your equipment? Electric appliances aren’t easy to come by, you know.”

“Trust me, I know,” Vinyl said with a dry chuckle. “Took me more than three years to get the money for just the wiring. Took even longer for the amps.”

“What does this do, anyway?” Derpy asked, holding up her cargo.

“By hooking up all my stuff together with that,” Vinyl explained, “I can recharge everything at once without using up too much magic. A bit expensive, yeah, but a good investment in the long run.”

“I’ll take your word for it,” Derpy said. She set the cords on the floor, in a corner with the wall where Vinyl had already swept.

Lyra levitated a dustpan near the small pile Vinyl had created. The shade-wearing unicorn pushed the dust and grime into it. “Okay, that should do it for this half,” she said. She looked to the other two. “I think we can get the amps down here now. There should be a wastebasket up with them as well, so you can put the dust in there. I’ll just get started on this other half here.” They both nodded and went to the upper floor.

Vinyl began sweeping when she heard a knock at the door. She froze slightly; she had no reason to assume Turner was here, but she didn’t want to be caught off-guard by his sudden presence and have their plans fall apart. “Who is it?” she called.

“It’s just me, Vinyl,” she heard. The voice was decidedly not Turner. For one thing, Turner wasn’t female. The accent was similar, but far more classy.

“Come on in, Tavi,” Vinyl said and returned to sweeping. The door opened and Octavia let herself in. She was wearing a pair of saddlebags, black in color.

“I just came by to return the record I borrowed. I…” Octavia stopped as she looked around the house. Her eyes seemed to indicate disbelief.

After a moment, Vinyl noticed Octavia wasn’t talking anymore and turned to her. “Um, Tavi, you okay?”

“Vinyl,” she said at last. “Vinyl Scratch. Cleaning.” Vinyl finally understood and gave Octavia a bemused look.

“Okay, Octavia,” the cellist said to herself, “no need to lose your mind over this. There’s obviously a perfectly logical reason as to why this is happening.” She paused for a second. “Yes, that’s it. It only makes sense. I’ve obviously been abducted by aliens and taken to an alternate dimension where Vinyl Scratch feels obligated to clean up her whole house.”

“Ha, comma, ha, comma, ha,” Vinyl finally replied in a deadpan tone. “I assure you, Tavi, there’s a very good reason for this.”

“I’d be very excited to hear it, Vinyl,” Octavia said. “Please inform me what possible excuse could ever make you actually want to clean up around here.”

“We’re throwing Timey a party,” Vinyl answered simply.

Octavia just stood there with a confused look on her face. Before she could speak again, however, a voice came from upstairs. “Hey, Derpy, are you sure you have this?”

“Of course I’m not sure,” Derpy’s voice answered back, if a little strained. The mares at the door looked up and saw Lyra and Derpy trying to carry down one of Vinyl’s stereos. “But I don’t have much of a choice, now do I?”

Lyra was higher up on the stairs, using her magic to attempt to hold up the top half; Derpy, meanwhile, was at the lower part, trying to keep the stereo from dragging along the ground. Even with Lyra’s magic, the two were straining to keep it up. Finally, the two reached the bottom of the staircase. Derpy gently set it down. Both of them practically fell over and panted hard. Lyra had herself draped over the stereo and Derpywas lying on her back on the floor.

“Where… do you… want this?” Lyra asked between breaths.

“Oh, come on, girls, it couldn’t have been that heavy,” Vinyl chided.

“Easy for you… to say,” Derpy argued.

“Ly and I have to lift it all the time,” Vinyl countered.

“Well, it’s easier to do when the lifters are unicorns,” Lyra pointed out. “Um,” she looked down at Derpy, “no offense.”

Derpy sighed. “I’ll take offense when I can breathe normally again.”

Everyone was interrupted by a small cough, the kind used to get attention. They all looked at the door to find Octavia was still there. “Could somepony please explain to me what is going on around here? And why Vinyl’s house looks so… uncluttered?” (“Give it a rest, will ya?” Vinyl grumbled.)

Derpy sighed. “Long story short, Turner tried fixing the TARDIS today and it ended badly, and now he’s depressed, so we’re throwing a surprise party for him to cheer him up and Vinyl offered to have it here.” She breathed in again as she still hadn’t fully recovered.

Octavia took a moment to absorb the information she heard before saying, “Oh. Well, that makes complete sense. Thank you.” (“Told ya,” Vinyl muttered under her breath.) “Is there anything I can do to help?”

Derpy wasn’t going to even try to argue this time. And if her ordeal with the stereo was any indication, she would need all the help she… they could get. “Okay, Bon Bon volunteered to bake the cake for this. One of us was going to pick it up, but at the rate we’re going…”

“Say no more,” Octavia said. “I shall return as soon as possible.” She turned to leave.

“Just don’t let Turner catch you,” Lyra said. “This is a surprise party, after all.” Octavia waved a hoof in affirmation and went down the road toward Sugar Cube Corner.

“Welp,” Derpy said, “let’s get the rest of this stuff down here.” She pointed to the stereo. “I’m not going to move very fast tomorrow,” she added in a whisper.

Suddenly, a pair of white saddlebags with eighth note fasteners plopped down in front of her. Behind that stood Vinyl. “Tell you what,” she said. “Ly and me’ll take care of the sound equipment. You go and get the rest of the food. Like you said, we’re running behind as it is.”

Derpy smiled and placed the saddlebags on her back. As she walked out the door she turned her head back. “Oh, by the way, Lyra,” she said with a mischievous smirk, “remind me to smack you for that ‘two unicorns’ line.” She turned back and walked out of the house.

Lyra stood where she was for a few seconds and said, “You think she was joking?”

“Element of Laughter,” Vinyl reminded her. “Though to be honest, I’m not sure.”

Author's Note:

Fun fact: Vinyl's sarcastic laugh line was inspired by a Spider-Man comic.