Rumble copes with the sudden loss of the pony he loves. He tries to enjoy one last night with her beneath the stars before she has to say goodbye... forever.
Chapters (1)
The Orange Nebula
Joined 24th Nov, 2013 ·
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This title reminds me of Slendermare for some reason... The whole premise does...
Also, "beneath", not "beneathe".
This is pretty good.
The feels in this story
The idea is alright, but you need to get some editing done. I really suggest having someone with some editing skills read through. I see typos and it'd be good for you to figure out your spelling weakness and overlooks so you know what to be aware of in the future.
Learn accept versus except
You're versus your
Also, I would imagine it wouldn't hurt to keep in mind they're, their, and there
It's and its
To, two, and too, etc.
Make sure you know which word that sounds like other words you're supposed to use for certain meanings.
4470423 Thank you for the help. I have been trying my best to edit my stories without the aid of a proper editor, but I am obviously not the greatest at that. Thing is, I just have to find someone wiling to lend a hand for future stories.
4472019 Check the chat, check the /r/mlpwritingschool subreddit, check deviantART
There's places where folks'll help ya.
Well, needless to say I'm impressed!
When you left that um... Odd, comment on my userpage, I didn't really know what to think of you.
I decided to check out some of your work out of curiousity, and after reading this...
You've got talent. A lot of it. With a few grammar corrections here and there, you could almost certainly get onto the front page.
Keep up the great work.
4499191 Why thank you, I took on a creepypasta profile design so I'm attempting to mini RP with random folks on the sight, but I'm glad you liked it! :)
4499216
You're welcome. It deserves every bit praise it gets, and much more.
After what I've been through the past few years (not much, just having to see both my great-grandparents die and my family being so busy taking care of them before that I was almost entirely ignored except for giving me food, allowance, and water), there isn't much that can actually make me feel intensely on the more emotional subjects. Namely sad things. It depends on what the story is about and how good it is.
And this is honestly one of the best I've ever read. I was actually on the verge of tears during those the last few lines (the dream sequence).
It takes extreme skill to make a story this good. Like I said before, with a few grammar fiixes, I'm certain you could make the front page.
this story made me cry a little why did scootaloo have to die why
good story though
I know his sounds wrong but I want sequel or prequel and how Rainbow and the Cutiemark Crusaders react to Scoots being dead.
and also THE FEELS.
I know the feeling of loosing loved ones
This is reminiscient of the story 'a Requiem for Thomas'. It deals with grief in a similar manner, as Edward mourns the loss of a close friend.