• Member Since 25th Sep, 2011
  • offline last seen 57 minutes ago


Exploring probability space for fun and the absence of profit


In a very special edition of the Foal Free Press, editor-in-chief Featherweight Westwind offers an article-by-article correction of the work of infamous gossip columnist Gabby Gums.

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 43 )

Ah, my. That does seem like something Fluttershy would do....as well as a darned good episode......:yay:

>Soarin Markov

I see what you did there. Great story, mate.

While I enjoyed this I only have a glare towards the Markov pun. I don't mean to make a critical statement about it but I personally frowned on it. All in all I found it a great read and I will not reveal the location of the original manuscript of Lyra's thesis to Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns as her independent study final project. Ms. Heartstrings and [name withheld] are both determined to reveal the truth, I refuse to speak any further on the "human" subject.


Very nicely done! Grammatically flawless, very formally written and highly amusing all throughout. :rainbowkiss:


"That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible." BWAAHAHAHAHA! That made me laugh quite a bit. :pinkiehappy:

Pinkie insisting that a made up article is utterly true is both entirely like her and also proof that those events really did happen as she described. How this is possible is left to the imagination of the reader. :twilightsheepish:

416142 You wouldn't expect the son of Duke Blucher Markov to deny his storied heritage, would you? :duck:

As for the Heartstrings/Withheld collaboration (really, like square brackets and decapitalization would throw me off the case,) Editor-in-Chief Westwind had this to say: "The Foal Free Press is now committed to striking a balance between reporting the truth and respecting personal privacy. However, if an alien species really was present in Equestria, the revelatory nature of the news would outweigh any and all privacy-based objections. Indeed, I would personally take up the camera again if needed to cover such a scoop." It should be noted that Mr. Westwind refused to comment on whether or not this actually was the case. Spokesponies for Their Royal Highnesses the Princesses Celestia and Luna and for the Search for Extra-Equestrian Intelligence had no comment on the matter.

I liked it. I did feel that the message of the episode was undercut by some of the plot holes, such as:
1. Why start making stuff up? If the point is that gossip is bad, like the stuff about the Mayor or reprinting Rarity's diary, why start fabricating stuff whole cloth, like the Cakes splitting up? It was a little confusing and I don't think it was needed. Gossip is bad enough regardless of its accuracy (which it seldom is to begin with)
2. And the appointment of Featherweight to editor was a little bit...off. But this story really makes it work and I love the mention of the heart and feather. It was really clever.

This was really funny, really cute, and really well done.


Very nice work. Nice touch with those extra stories.

Diamond Tiara's stint printing didn't last long, she got so angry when her classmates were laughing at her for geting her comupance she kicked over the press breaking it. After that Cheerilee gave her detention for the rest of the school year for damaging school property and conduct unbecomeing a good student.

416409 Actually I represent a long time friend of Lord Markov. Namely one Baron Vladimir Sengir, currently interred for crimes against many species. Mostly from making vampires out of them...

Should I begin to loose money by being removed as a loyal lawyer for my vampiric client, or be ousted from my office in Manehattan, then I will gladly provide you with the truth located in that manuscript. After all, I will have nothing to gain by keeping it secret, or my personal contributions.

Funny little story ;3

It is the regrettable duty of the Foal Free Press to confirm that Her Royal Highness the Princess Celestia did indeed eat forty cakes. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.
You can not start to understand how much I laughed at that.

Great stuff! Very cute titles and apologies.

Okay, this is officially awesome.

Awesome job!:pinkiehappy:

I like how you made Featherweight so eloquent, when he had no lines at all in the episode.

I must describe Iron Will as a "labyrinth enthusiast" at some point in the future.

I like that Soarin has a Russian surname.
And yes, that is the entirety of what I feel is necessary to say about this.
No, that's not a bad thing.

Very cute stuff! I appreciate the attention to detail. :pinkiesmile: And it's imaginative, too!

Great fic. I added this to the "One Shots" and "I found it rather silly" folders in Twilights Library :twilightsmile:

I'm not familiar with Blueblood Bawls.
Is that like the drink? :pinkiesick:
Or perhaps closer to a case of Blue-b**ls? :rainbowderp::facehoof:

2872166 Bawls, as in crying.

A "Lex Luthor stole forty cakes" reference immediately followed by a print-only Onion reference? Faved.
Fluttershy's last name was a nice touch as well.

Hello. I’m here with the Good Grammar Directory, which your story was submitted to. Your story almost qualifies.

This story is pretty grammatically sound. The only gripe I have with it is the formatting in the first four paragraphs. Paragraphs are separated either by indents or by vertical spaces (or by both, if the writer so chooses). Most of the paragraphs are separated by vertical spaces, which is good. However, the first four paragraphs are not separated this way.

If this was fixed, I’d approve this story. I understand that you may not want to change this, or you yourself may not have submitted your story to our group in the first place. However, if you do decide to change it, feel free to pm me, and I’ll probably approve it.

Otherwise, have a good day. :)

Edit: I see you've now changed the formatting. This story has now been approved and added to our folders. :twilightsmile:

I was actually somewhat surprised that Angel didn't forcibly remove the CMC from the premises in that episode.

So... many... references...:rainbowderp:

Soarin Markov...

You get so many geek points for that one.

Well, given that I've written a number of Friendship is Magic: the Gathering crossovers (including "Markov Distinction," where I make further use of this joke,) I'd be remiss if I didn't make that pun. :pinkiesmile:

Faved for the Royal Cakewalk. :rainbowlaugh:

So many references, I think most of the comments have covered them. However:

Dang. Good job on explaining Featherweight's cutie mark. Did not see that one coming.

May steal it sometime.

Cute one-shot, very cute. Not terribly heavy on the comedy, but then again, a fic this short could only have so many laughs. There were, however, a few that stood out to me and tickled my funny bone quite a bit.

Haygyptian mythology

Sometimes pony puns are painful, but this one both made an odd bit of sense and at the same time was just hilarious, the two qualities you want out of any pony pun. Well done. :twilightsheepish:

It is the regrettable duty of the Foal Free Press to confirm that Her Royal Highness the Princess Celestia did indeed eat forty cakes. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.

This fic gets a favorite alone for that allusion to the Super Dictionary. :rainbowlaugh: All in all, this fic was rather clever, and just a fun, quick read.

The Foal Free Press would like to thank Bonbon Dulcinea for offering numerous demonstrations that she has never substituted high fructose corn syrup for cane sugar in her products.

That's a lot of candy.:rainbowlaugh:

Author Interviewer

I was kind of cringing at the sheer amount of fandom references in this, not realizing just how old it is. :O And they weren't all unfunny, either! This holds up well. :D

Soarin Markov? Seriously?

Only you, FoME.

Son of Frau Blucher Markov (panicked whinnying) of Transylmaneia.

And this was my first non-crossover story on the site. I wanted a bit of a security blanket.

7975661 Understandable.

What's a crissover?

A crossover, as interpreted by hasty use of an iPhone keyboard with autocorrect turned off. :derpytongue2:

7975691 Hah.

So, I'm thinking of doing Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny, but as ponies. Any ideas?

The one criticism I have, and it's really only a nitpick considering how old this is, is that every title did not have some form of alliteration

Well, at least Snips and Snails were happy with the sort of fame they got out of it. Hmm, wasn't it Sweetie Belle even who told Featherweight to take pictured of them when they were making asses of themselves?

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