"No matter how strong the bonds of friendship are, we still have our own dreams and goals that we must pursue. I pray that they never tear us apart."
A lot has changed in the 20 years since Twilight arrived in Ponyville. The town is now a small, bustling city, and each member of the mane six is busier than ever. As Twilight works in City Hall, she can't help but wonder when she'll be able to spend time with her friends again.
(Google Docs version: http://tinyurl.com/7co9nb4. Comments are enabled. The Google Docs version also has the original story, which I haven't yet connected to the new introduction I am working on.)
Chapters (2)
Yay! 20 years and Twilight hasn't turned to the Dark Side.
Has she made many amazing breakthroughs in the field of magic?
This has potential
Warning. Warning: Feature imminent
415624
That would be fantastic, let us pray :)
415636 Please, please, PLEASE make this a one-shot. (If it is, it isn't marked as "completed" yet.) An epilogue, unless it's about the final hours of the last one of the Six that's still alive, would ruin the mood of the story. This story also made me think of another thing: immortality. Everyone wants it, anyone who'd get it would want to be rid of it instantly. Everyone you meet will eventually die, and there you will be, with all of your memories, until the sun sets of the final day of the final month of the final year. There will be no relief, no death. The only time you can finally rest is after the everything, including the universe itself, stops.
415765
Don't worry, the story won't be about immortality. What I'm shooting for is a theme of "No matter how strong friendship bonds are, we all have our personal dreams that may separate us at one point." I got the idea just from living my own life. I'm in college, and I had a lot of good friends in high school, but despite our friendship we all had to go our own ways in order to pursue our dreams.
415777 I was referring to how immortality would be a bad thing, and referring to the story about a reason why.
415781
Ah, I see. Still, why do you feel like the story should be a one shot? I really don't have much as it is right now, and there's so much I could explore here.
415784 Well, this story kinda feels like it should end here. If you can continue it without affecting the story, I'd gain some respect to you as well as the story itself. (If you're wondering why I'm replying so fast, it's because I'm bored and have nothing better to do.) Either way, you're a great writer. Also, looking at your other stories, I'm sure you can keep this going pretty well. Carry on.
I thought that Twilight would be the one interested in the boring meeting
The super huge letter to Celestia makes it feel like it's already a one shot. I'm not sure where you are going with this but I am hoping for some progressive insanity.
Wow, I just signed up to say how much potential this story has for being the best thing I have EVER read
After receiving various comments, I've decided to make this a one-shot story for now, since people seem to think it works on its own. However, I do plan on adding more stories connected to this one, so keep your eyes open!
Hot dang! This re-write is fantastic! Please, continue this and do NOT make this a one shot anymore :D
432952
I'm glad you're enjoying! Do you think it has enough emotional punch to it? I think doing this rewrite to first introduce Twilight feeling down about missing her friends will provide a nice contrast to when they all surprise her with the party. Also, I'm thinking of changing it to only ten years in the future, not twenty.
433013
the last one had emotional punch... this one had emotional rockets (though that's perhaps because I know what will come next). It's wonderful, I love it and I'm sure the readers will too!
I decided to take your word for it and not read the "original" version, as you put it. I haven't read it yet.
I did read through the "completely new" version, and it was impressive. There's a real delicateness to your writing. The emotions are written overtly, but they're not blunt or over-explicit. It's written very plainly, and at the same time, there's a nice small subtlety beneath it. Everything's written with an expert finesse that makes it worthwhile to read, given how simple it all is. More is said when less is said, as the adage goes. (Though I would encourage you to continue in developing a story. As it is, it seems...unfinished)
The one thing I would change would be making it ten years instead of twenty. Twenty seems like a stretch to me.
But all in all, very nicely done.
I think you did a great job in expanding the intro and giving it its own chapter. I'm impressed.
Now I just can't wait to see how you are going to connect it to the ending.
434293
Glad you like it! I do plan on expanding it. The new chapter one takes place before the original version. I haven't axed the original draft, I just haven't yet connected it to the new material I'm working on.
i love this story so far, will you be writing any funeral scenes in this?