13: The Last Laugh
The rain had stopped by the time I made it to the train station, but the fog had grown even thicker. Presumably the sunrise would clear it up in about an hour. That is, if we had a sunrise – with Celestia as she was, I couldn’t help but feel the whole natural order of Canterlot, if not the heavens themselves, had been turned upside-down.
For now, a single light on the platform fought a losing battle against the encroaching mist. Tangled Weave waited alone underneath, wearing a plain black dress cut for travelling.
She smiled at my arrival, just as if I was an old friend that she had been expecting to see her off. “Detective Slate! To what do I owe the pleasure?”
“Why’d you do it?” I said, my voice rough to my own ears.
“Getting straight to the point, I see. But really: must you ask?”
I shook my head. “I want to hear you say the words.”
“Very well.” A smile flitted across her muzzle. “Power, of course. It’s always about power, in the end. The Night Guard was unfortunately persistent in their investigation of my business ventures, and I saw an opportunity to resolve that problem.”
“And how did you know about Celestia?”
She chuckled. “I didn’t. That was an unexpected bonus. The point was never to bring Luna down, specifically, but to create some political turmoil at the upper levels. Just enough of a dust-up to cover my tracks in the eyes of the law. This? This works splendidly for my purposes.”
“And yet changelings are the ones who are called parasites,” I spat.
“I’ll choose to take that as a compliment.” An eyebrow raised. “After all, I couldn’t have done it alone. I suppose I should thank you for your part in the whole play. You were just the element of chaos I needed to keep everything humming along.”
“You know that had I known I would never have—”
“I know what you did do. Isn’t that what matters?”
I shook my head, but didn’t have an answer other than the turn of my stomach.
She smiled with a kind of possessive pride. “Really, I couldn’t be more pleased.”
“And to think, you almost got away with it all, too.”
“My dear,” she said, “I have gotten away with it. I shall be in Griffonstone by lunchtime, enjoying tea and perhaps some of those lovely scones they’re so proud of. Obviously the situation is a little too tense for my presence here in Canterlot, but that doesn’t mean I can’t continue with my business from afar. It will be a pleasant vacation.”
“You really think I’ll allow you to leave?”
Her head tilted to the side. “Do you really think you can stop me?”
With the sound of metal on metal, the train pulled into the station behind her, all of its windows curiously dark.
I took a step forward. “Yes, I do.”
She smiled at me, batting her eyelashes. Then her lips pursed in a whistle. Out of the fog, Rising Star came forward, pushing a pony along with him. It was Paisley, and his magic held a knife to her throat.
“You should know by now, Detective. I always have a plan.”
“She’s your daughter,” I whispered. “You wouldn’t.”
She shrugged. “Sentimentality is just another excuse for weakness.”
I ground my teeth, looking to Rising Star. He wasn’t grinning this time.
“Let her go, Star,” I said.
“Don’t think so. Maybe it’s time for you to turn around and walk away.”
I took a slow step towards him, watching warily. “How stupid can you be? Tangled Weave’s playing you. She was playing you the whole time – she intended for you to take the fall when the changeling scheme came to light.”
Star’s smirk was grimmer than normal. “You think you’re telling me anything I don’t already know?”
“Really, Detective,” Tangled chided. “Is that your move now, to try and turn us against one another?”
“She’s just using you, and as soon as you’re a liability she’ll feed you to the sharks.”
“Of course,” Star said. “And that makes this one relationship I completely understand. I can work with that.”
I grimaced. Paisley was drawing shallow breaths, her eyes wide. She clutched one foreleg tightly against herself, her neck drawn back as far as possible from the blade of the knife. “Please,” she whimpered.
I raised one hoof, then lowered it. My teeth clenched as I looked from Rising Star to Tangled Weave and back again. I thought about what my chances were. I thought about what was more important: saving the life of the pony I once loved, or having justice finally prevail. But what kind of justice came at the expense of an innocent life?
I reached up to pull my hat down over my horn as a grimace split my lips. I could see Star’s eyes narrow and the knife twitch in his magic. “You...”
A chime abruptly sounded, cutting through the tension.
I blinked. Star and Tangled shared a confused glance. The chime sounded again, and I realized it was coming from my jacket pocket.
“I think that’s for me,” I said. “Mind if I take the call?”
After the briefest moment of silence, Tangled Weave burst into laughter, waving a hoof. “By all means,” she said, catching her breath.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out the crystal. As soon as my hoof touched it, I heard the voice clearly.
“Let them go,” Paisley Pastel said in my ear.
I looked up, eyes widening at the Paisley that Star held. My brain finally catching up with the way she was clutching that specific foreleg, her face creased with pain. Then I saw Ruby Quartz stepping out of the fog behind Rising Star, and a lot happened very quickly.
“No!” I shouted, as I lunged forward, the crystal falling to the ground. Star spun, throwing the changeling he held at me, while Ruby leapt at him from behind. The changeling stumbled across the platform and I bowled him over, knocking him to the side. But it had slowed me down enough. When I looked up, Star had won the brief tussle with Ruby and swung her around in a twisted approximation of a ballroom dance, only with his horn now pressed to her throat.
“Not one step further, Slate,” he said.
Tangled Weave hadn’t even moved, choosing instead to watch with her lips pursed. “Oh my. Well, I suppose this works just as well. You do keep things interesting, Detective. Star, be a dear and take care of the rest, please?” She reached down to pick up a suitcase in her mouth and daintily stepped forward and onto the train.
I was left with Star, still holding Ruby hostage. The changeling laid in an unmoving heap on the platform.
“Let her go, Star.”
He snarled at me. “Not a chance. In fact, I think we could use some insurance. Maybe she should come to Griffonstone too.”
“She doesn’t have anything to do with this. Let her go.” The word tasted bitter in my mouth but I tried it anyways: “Please.”
“And why should I?”
Silence stretched out. Because I owe her one, I thought, before dismissing it instantly in favor of the truth. Because she’s a pony. Because she’s a friend.
“Because I admit it: You’ve won.”
His eyes narrowed. “Excuse me?”
“You’ve beaten me. I give up. I’ll let you get on that train and go – as I see it, you and Tangled Weave deserve one another. But be the bigger pony. Let the girl go.”
“Yeah. And how many times have you sucker-punched me? How do I know this isn’t another trick?”
I sat down there on the floor of the train platform, taking off my hat and holding it in my hooves. “You’ve got my word.”
“What little that means,” he spat out. But a grin crossed his face. “You’re serious about this.”
“Deadly.”
He awkwardly dragged Ruby with him as he backed towards the train. After a few steps, his hoof hitting the metal stair heading up into the passenger car and he paused there, eyes darting back and forth as he watched me carefully, weighing his decision. We stood in silence each waiting for the other to make a move. Until the train jerked slightly, preparing to depart.
“It’s been a pleasure, Slate,” he said. He pushed Ruby forward and she landed in a tangle of limbs on the wooden platform. I jumped forward to her, as Rising Star vanished inside the train. With one squeal of its whistle, it pulled forward, picking up speed as it left the station.
My attention was on Ruby. “Are you okay?” I said, trying to help her up. “Did he hurt you?”
“Sorry,” she muttered, red-faced. “I— I thought I could help again and—”
“No,” a voice called out from the fog. Paisley Pastel stepped out, with Red Harvest at her side. “It worked out fine.”
Red moved to where the changeling lay on the platform, checking it over for signs of life or weaponry. Not necessarily in that order.
Paisley glided across the platform to us, eyes flicking across Ruby and me. “I need to have a few words with Slate.”
Ruby’s eyes were wide and uncertain, but she nodded. “Of course.”
“Mmm. Alone, if you don’t mind? We’ve got some guards and medical technicians in a perimeter around the station, if you are hurt and need it looked at.”
Ruby bit her lip. “R-right. Sorry.” She slowly backed away, still looking at us.
Paisley stared at her until she faded into the fog. “Cute,” she muttered in my direction. “I didn’t think you went for that type, Slate.”
“It’s not like that.”
She shrugged. “Maybe it should be. You could use somepony to keep you in line, and Celestia knows I don’t have the time.”
I let out a breath. “Maybe you’ll have more time pretty soon. Maybe PHAIR’s mostly out of a job now, depending on who’s left to be in charge.”
“Are you kidding?” she said, eyebrow raising. “I’m only going to have more to do. Untangling this mess and smoothing over racial relations is going to take years of effort, at best.”
“That’s you, alright,” I said. “Always onto the next problem.”
“Better than dwelling on the last one.”
I shrugged. “Then what, you were working with Luna the whole time?”
“Yes. We discovered the clues pointing towards someone planning a conspiracy in her name, but couldn’t pin down who, exactly. That’s when I got the idea to have myself arrested as a changeling. It would allow me to see the inside, follow the trail of who was responsible, as well as providing a means to shut down the whole changeling-framing system permanently.”
“But Rising Star threw a wrench into that.”
“By refusing to have me tested. Which was lucky on our part, as that’s what Mother wanted all along. Instead, Luna and Red arranged to get me out again, but that was when we found out about the plants in the Royal Guard. At the time we didn’t know how deep the scheme ran, and had to immediately divert all our attention to rooting out any conspirators. Turns out there wasn’t too much to find. We were very close to having the whole situation taken care of quietly and cleanly.”
“If it wasn’t for me.”
She glanced at me. “Pretty much, yes.”
I grimaced. “So the whole time, none of what I did mattered. This was all out of my hooves.”
“It was never ever close to your reach to begin with. Shouldn’t you be used to that by now?”
I didn’t have an answer.
Paisley stepped forward, staring down the tracks. I followed her gaze towards where the train had vanished, where it was even now speeding off into the distance.
“A fast pegasus could probably make it to the border, have them shut down the crossing before the train gets there,” I offered.
“I told you, didn’t I? To let them go. There will be nothing stopping them from crossing the border in another couple of hours.” She frowned, before turning to me. “Does that make me a bad pony?”
I thought it over in silence. “She’s still your mother,” I said. “I can understand wanting to protect her.”
A faint smile crossed her lips as her eyes slid shut. “I don’t think you understand. Princess Luna was waiting on that train. In Griffony, the laws are rather different than ours, particularly as it comes to repaying blood debts.”
“What are you saying?”
“Celestia passed away this morning. Luna was very unhappy you know, losing a sister. Even if it wasn’t quite the sister she thought, she loved Celestia very much.”
I stared out into the mist, noticing that ever so faintly, it had begun to brighten. The sun was rising after all, somewhere there beyond the fog, but it wasn’t clear how long it would take to strip away the last remnants of the storms. Before Canterlot would see the light again clearly from its source, before the warmth would chasing away the lingering shadows.
At least most of them. Some shadows would always remain. And some prices could only be paid far away from the light of day.
“Now, I’ll ask again,” Paisley said, shaking me from my reverie. “Am I a bad pony?”
I rolled it around in my head.
“You’re your mother’s daughter.”
She seemed satisfied by that answer.
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Kinda unsatisfying ending, lack of some good epilogue and summary of all of this, like some though of Slate.
Overall great story I hope for more of that kind or even maybe sequel :D?
...Well, that was utterly depressing. Very well written. But sweet Celestia
Unless I missed something, we never did figure out why Celestia was dying though.NEVER MIND I'M STUPID. Seems a bit out there that just losing confidence would make her croak overnight, but queens gonna queen. Of course that also means that Slate's one effect on the whole conspiracy was accidentally getting her killed right as Luna was about to drop the hammer on the real bad guys.I think I have to agree with Perteks. The ending works but I don't think it's sticking the landing perfectly. I also wanted more of a rap up or hint as to what Slate was going to do next. Does he get with the changeling? What about his job? He was wanted but it seems he should be cleared now. Does he get to go back to his job? Will he become a private detective? Too many questions that you need some type of REAL epilogue to solve happily.
Not much left to say here, I think. Yes, the ending wasn't very satisfying, but it wasn't unsatisfying, either. It just was.
That's life.
While it is an ending, its sadly one that runs into the whole Gambit Pileup of these series. In writing, this sorta lent itself to a very poor ending. Yes, things are wrapped up. The world moves on, but ultimately, it comes across poorly. A status quo is god scenario, while it fits, it comes across as taking a large bite of charcoal. A bitter aftertaste that sorta puts you off the whole thing.
6237512 6237531 6237547 6237552
It's very difficult to write a truly satisfactory ending. Particularly when one major element is to reveal how little everything actually mattered, and well, exactly what 6237531 pointed out: the protagonist only really made things worse in some really bad ways. This isn't a story about Straight Slate being a hero and ensuring that justice prevails. In fact, it never was – the real heroine of the story was in the background nearly the entire time. The last chapter ends with the bad guys being punished, but as 6237565 says, it comes with a bitter aftertaste, doesn't it? I don't think I stuck the landing in the way that I would have liked, but I also think the final tone might be the most noir element of all. My hope is that even if you don't enjoy how it ends, it in some way makes you think.
I had considered writing a more complete epilogue, detailing what Slate ends up doing, and what Equestria ends up doing. But I don't think it's really part of this story, per se. I may discuss it later on in a blog, if I can organize my thoughts for a postmortem of the whole thing.
Thank you to everyone for reading. I really really appreciate it!
6237602
Man, if the ending was that satisfying it wouldn't be noir.
While I can concur with the others that I'd enjoy a sort of after-the-fact epilogue, personally I thought the ending was quite good, and the sense of, almost... hopelessness Slate had over the whole thing was conveyed really nicely. Also I was very pleased that you did include the heavy implication that Luna master blasted Tangled Weave and Rising Star. Overall I'd say this was remarkably well written and pretty fantastic.
6237602 Its the whole gambit aspect that intersects right at the end of things. I don't mind how it ended, sometimes things dont end well. Its that everything smashes together like a freight train right at the end. It had a great buildup, and good execution throughout. Just going at this pace is like running into a brick wall is my complaint. The quality of writing never stopped being good.
6237602
I think we'd all be happier without an epilogue. Notes in a blog would be fine, since we can opt out of reading them more easily.
Personally, I'm going to pretend that Slate gets out of the detective business and settles down with Ruby Quartz. It's not a terribly heroic ending, no, but it's happy enough for me.
6237602
Sometimes bittersweet endings are the ones the story needs, not necessarily a happy one.
Things are over, and will be settled in short affair by Luna, one way or another. And Canterlot, in a sense, will start rebuilding.
I'd call it, if not a wholly happy ending, at least satisfactory. The twists and turns have been untangled at last, and I've exceptionally enjoyed the entire story.
I think I'm with 6237652. This strikes a good note of bittersweet, and the final note of offscreen justice is 100% noir. Blood pays in blood.
Anyhow, this was one of the few stories I set aside time to keep up with the updates as they came out, and it was a heck of a journey. Thank you for the great read!
6237629
This comment confuses me a bit. What do you consider to be Noir? When I think Noir, I think of Raymond Chandler and The Maltese Falcon. The stories had some issues, and some of Chandler's stories felt more plodding or meandering than actually productive, but I don't remember any of the endings as coming across as dissatisfying. Then again, I'm only going off memory for those.
This was an exellent story. I may not have followed it from the beginning, but that doesn't take anything away from it. Now all it needs is it's own universe full of side stories.
P.S. Can I make a side story?
It took me a couple re-reads to catch what she was implying about Luna. Bah I'm slow. It felt a little unsatisfying until I finally understood that bit, then I changed my mind.
I liked this conclusion, and after all the suspense and twists it was a good flavor to end on. Not quite bittersweet, maybe bitter relief?
And it was a great story overall. Whatever that's worth coming from me... I don't know enough about noir stories to judge one from another, so they all kinda seem the same to me. I just know I liked this one.
6237938
" (I thought you did a rather good job with it too!)
Aaaah, you wrote Substitute. I remember reading that and immediately thinking "Oh no, my clever idea for a twist!
Ouch.
Darn it! Here I was so happy Slate seemed like he was behaving with competence and might actually pull off some sort of success. Nope. Congratulations, you did nothing but kill Celestia! Stupid Noir.
Now, I've only read it through once, reading each chapter as it was released, so I probably missed some details, but I don't really understand how Paisley and Luna could have the whole thing as well in hand as they apparently do. However, right now I feel like I don't know if I can take getting my fingers smashed in the ending again in order to read it through again to try and figure it out
(Consider it a testament to how well written this is that I'm even considering it.)
Should that be "I suppose I should thank you"? Or "I should thank you"?
6239197
Yes, thank you.
This was a good story, its rare to find something that sticks out. Congratulations.
One issue, and one extra though.
Stop and smell the roses! I know you wanted to pace this quickly, but I never got to know Slate any better as the story progressed.At both the beginning and the end all I could say about the guy is he is a strait shooter(now with a changeling friend). Which is a shame. The devil is in the details, and as Plague of Gripes put it, "People only care about themselves and things they personally care about*". I never knew Slate. so him being in prison or being on the run didn't mean much to me, which is a shame because I wanted it to mean more. Please, you can weave a good world, in the future lets get to know the guys who live in it a little better(also those calm moments are great places to put foreshadowing and tension building).
Still better then most of the stuff out there to be honest. At least the characters were consistent.
On the side, Slate felt like he was running threw this adventure at full HP, only loosing mana after doing the changeling bit, and all and all not taking much in the way of harm. Harm doesn't(and in my opinion shouldn't) be gore or anything graphic, but twisting a hoof after a chase the nags at him until he can get a good rest is a great way to show a character is mortal and help people sympathize with someone(it also raises the stakes slightly, as someone in perfect health running from a powerful foe is no where near as in danger as someone who can barely stand running from the same opponent). It mostly comes back to pausing and let the reader absorb whats happening, so they can feel the weight of what is going on.
Rising Star popped up a lot, but as far as I noticed he never really degraded after any encounter, which was a little jarring for me. I mean if you got tackled by a bunch of professional cops wouldn't you be a little sore afterwards? A little more pissed off then normal at the guy who is responsible for cracking some ribs. Maybe a little less talking and a little more 'I'm going to hurt you'.
Still you did a good job, made a good tale and should keep up to good work. Upvoted. Thank you for your time and effort. I hope to see more of your stuff.
*Might of worded that wrong citation needed.
This was an amazing fic. I loved it. I do admit the ending was not completely satisfying, but it worked well enough and did not feel rushed. Though I might have liked to see some more dialogue with Ruby to settle things. Maybe end over a glass over a glass of scotch with the chief. Oh well.
The only other thing that kind of bothered me was that changeling serum thing. Idk it just seemed phoned-in. Kind of like 'oh, by the way, here's a magical drug that'll temporarily turn you into a changeling.' I understand that magic is the ultimate lampshade, but 'because magic' is still in no way enough to keep a reader immersed. You did explain it better than that, of course, I'm only pointing out that I think him actually using it (and so quickly and fearlessly, too) and that it changed him so neatly were a bit unrealistic (relatively speaking). Something that actually changes your every cell in your entire body into something vastly different (assuming it could do it in under an hour) I can only imagine would be incredibly painful and debilitating. I doubt someone could just walk away afterwards.
And to top it off, Slate somehow knew how to use changeling powers with almost no learning curve at all. I guess he's good with magic... but...
Anyhow, still small problems of a very good fic.
Pretty good read. I knew this was in my Read it Later for a reason.
This seriously needs a proper epilogue. So many things happened to those characters, it would be great to know what sort of lives they would live on. I mean will Slate continue to be a detective? Where will Ruby go after all of this? Also everyone saw Celestia being revealed as a changeling and then it was followed by the announcement of her death - how will people react to that?
So many questions, so many threads left hanging... not very satisfying ending as it is right now.
Man, I really wish I hadn't fallen behind on this. I've caught up on about thirty chapters from various stories this week, including this one. And boy, what a final few chapters--So many twists! A good ending too. Sure it technically sucks for Slate, but he's got Ruby. Luna will dish out some much deserved justice. Poor Celestia though.
A pleasure to read through and through, Sharp.
Really enjoyed the story lots of twists and turns to keep me interested, and confused (confused in a good way ). Ending was good wrapped up the arch nicely, but leaves enough loose ends too keep the mystery alive. A++ Will read again
Wait, so what happened to all the ponies who were "sent off" as changelings? Are they okay?
Has it already been three years since this was published? Sheesh, I need to get faster at plowing through my RiL list.
Overall, I like this story quite a bit. The story is engaging and had me strongly hooked through the second half of the book. The twists kept me guessing and none of them came across as contrived or lazy. Good on you for that!
My biggest gripe with this story is the extremely fast pace it takes. Yes, I understand that this all takes place in a pretty rapid series of events, and faster pacing is necessary for that feel, but in doing that, the story’s characterization and worldbuilding lose a bit of their luster. The plot kept me interested very well, but few of the characters were memorable. I could see hints of great characterization throughout the piece, but there wasn’t enough of it to fully sell me. Some moments seemed less important than they should have been, such as Raven’s murder or Slate reuniting with Ruby. The emotional aspect wasn’t as powerful as it could have been, and that’s where I have to dock some points.
My gripes with the story’s pacing aside, I had a lot of fun with this. I’d definitely recommend it to anyone who likes a good noir story! Thank you for the quality horsewords. Have my like, fave, and follow.
I'm not a big detective or noir reader so I don't know if this is just the norm, but the whole story just feels... bad? The writing itself is good, but most of the pieces just don't fit. Its kinda like reading a movie script without any visual aids and then being shocked when the final product is exactly what you read on the script but looks nothing like what you had in your mind.
I give this a thumbs up on the strength of the writing, but theres no way in hell I'd recommend this to anyone other than writers looking for unique styles.