The Guest (Bon Bon)
I’m not quite sure why I’m telling you this, but you seem trustworthy. I mean, I’m usually a good judge of character. That human though, I’m not sure I even know what to think. He’s just... I don’t know. You don’t get that kind of reputation for doing nothing, but he’s so kind, polite, and civil. He could talk his way out of a prison cell and straight into a Canterlot banquet, if he could keep his hoof out of his mouth for five minutes. Lyra tells me he’s a good person, but I have reason to question her judgment.
Don’t get me wrong, I love Lyra as much as anypony else, but she has... eccentricities. She's a nice girl, but she’s lacking in the “sound judgment” department. For one, she’s getting awfully buddy-buddy with that human. She does try to see the good in everypony, and she saw some good in him. I mean, that isn’t a bad thing, but I doubt it’s to her benefit. And her taste in stallions... Well, let’s just say she has a knack for picking the crazier of the bunch. Well, like draws like, I suppose.
I had briefly met Jerry, in the flesh, just the other night. He had walked with Lyra all the way to our apartment, and frankly, I was caught a little off guard to see him right beside her when the door opened. I was in the middle of making some peanut brittle, and I nearly dropped the mixing bowl when I saw him. It certainly would have been nice for Lyra to let me know beforehand that she was bringing a visitor.
There was a moment of awkward silence. “Hi, you must be Jeremiah,” I finally said, as I looked up towards the looming figure. His height was certainly off putting. I unconsciously took a step backwards.
“Bon Bon, right? The candy maker? It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He squatted as he spoke, making himself far less imposing. He offered me his hand. I held back a breath of relief and shook it.
Lyra gave me a reassuring smile.
“Um... Likewise. I’ve heard so much about you.”
He sighed heavily. “I do seem to carry quite a reputation these days.”
“Oh no no. I meant Lyra was telling me about you. About you being a pastor and stuff. Really fascinating.” I mean, I did also hear about the eating pegasus wings and stuff, but I didn’t think it would be polite to mention that.
I heard a gentle mewling. The human cocked his head as Lyra’s cat walked towards him. “And this must be Al,” he said, scratching the tabby cat under chin, eliciting a purr. “What do you feed him?”
Lyra gestured over to his little red food bowl, tucked in the corner. Carnivore chow, sometimes we get him a fish. She rubbed the base of Al’s tail and planted a kiss on the top of his head.
Jerry frowned. “Where do you get fish?”
“Sometimes we pick one up in the marketplace from one of the fisherman, or from the pet store,” I said.
He opened his mouth to speak, but seemed at a loss on how to phrase his question. “Ah... Well, Lyra, I'll be on my way now. I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? It was nice meeting you, Bon Bon.” He waved one of his hand things at me.
The moment he left, Lyra shoved her notebook in my face. So what did you think of him?
I pushed the little grey pad away with my hoof, and went back to the mixing bowl. “He’s nice, I think. Although, he could definitely use some less garish clothes.” He was cordial from what I’d just seen, and Lyra had a fondness for him. He didn’t look that carnivorous either. It was almost kind of pleasant meeting him, barring the sudden intrusion.
I was thinking of having Jerry over for dinner tomorrow.
“You mean the human?”
No, my other friend Jerry. She stuck out her tongue.
“Does he have to come over here?”
Well, he’s my new friend, and I’d thought it’d be nice to invite him over.
“Tomorrow? Lyra, I’m not so sure,” I said, tapping my hooves together. “I don’t even know what I would cook for him. Besides, the house isn’t clean, we haven’t even gone grocery shopping, and I have a full day of work tomorrow. Maybe he could come over next week... Maybe."
She sat there looking guilty as a fox in an empty hen house.
“Please tell me you didn’t already invite him.”
She gave me an apologetic smile.
“Damn it, Lyra.”
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
I sat up in my bed. It had woken Lyra, too. She looked at me from her bed across the room, eyes pleading.
Thump.
Thump.
Thump.
I kicked off the covers, and made my way to the front door. I didn’t need to look through the peephole to know who it was. I steeled myself, and threw open the door. “Lucky, it’s two in the morning. You better have a damned good reason for being here.”
There he was, leaning precariously forward, absolutely reeking of alcohol. It wasn’t anything I haven’t seen before, but never this late at night. “Lyra... Jerry. I saw them—”
I was in no mood to listen to his drunken whining. “I don’t care what you saw. Leave before I call the cops.”
“He mounted her, Bon Bon.”
“What?”
“In the middle of the fucking street.”
“You’re lying.” I tried the time tested method of slamming the door in his face, but he shot out a hoof.
I struggled to push it shut, but alcohol gave him the strength and the stubbornness to force the door back open. He stepped into the door frame and stared me down. I shrank back. His loosened tie swayed haphazardly from around his neck. I felt a twinge of fear, and my heartbeat quickened. I was well experienced dealing with Lucky’s persistence sober, but I never had seen him this drunk, or this angry.His voice fell into a low growl. “I don’t know what kind of shit Lyra’s trying pull off by letting a god-damned animal try to mate with her in public, but I’m not liking it. Is she trying to make me jealous? Is that her deal? I don’t give a damn. You tell that whore of a unicorn I better not see her hanging around that human again, or there’ll be hell to pay. You got it?”
I looked on the counter for a knife, a broom, a fry pan, anything that I could use to protect myself and Lyra. I spotted a vase, but before I could even reach a hoof out, he lunged at me, bit on my mane, and dragged me out of the house. I tried to squirm away, break free, but he held on tight. “Answer me when I talk to you! You got it?” he roared. He raised his hoof, ready to strike. This time, I was quicker. I landed a solid smack on his jaw with my foreleg, and he reeled back, letting go of my mane. I dashed back into the house, and slid the bolt closed.
THUMP.
THUMP.
THUMP.
The door frame shook with each blow of his hoof. One of Lyra’s flutes rolled off of the wall mounted shelf and fell with a clatter. “Lyra! Bon Bon!” he screamed in impotent rage.
Lyra crept into the kitchen, brandishing my old field hockey stick in a cloud of green magic. She was shaking like a leaf. “I’m okay, I’m okay…” I managed to say. She stayed crouched behind the kitchen island.
A light across the street flickered on, and then another. Somewhere, a dog bayed. I watched in horror as Lucky's next blow caused one of the screws from the deadbolt panel to come loose. Lyra raised the field hockey stick, ready to strike down with the back the of the hook. Over the thumping, I heard a voice bark something at Lucky. “What the hell do you think you’re doing, trying to bust down Bon Bon’s door?”
“Mind your fucking business,” Lucky shouted back. I peeked out the window. Law, the stocky unicorn from across the street had his horn aglow, telekinetically wielding a nightstick. His wife and foal watched nervously from the window.
“This is my neighborhood. And if you don’t buzz off right now, it’s gonna be my business.” He rapped the club against the sidewalk, as he walked up to Lucky, nose to nose. “Now, are we going to have a problem? Or are you going to leave?” The two stallions stared each down for a tense moment, Their nostrils flaring. Finally, Lucky broke eye contact, and stormed off, muttering curses.
As soon as Lucky was out of sight, Law called out, “Bon Bon, are you all right?" I slid the bolt back, and opened up the door for him. Lyra let the field hockey stick fall to the floor with a clatter, and let out a breathy sigh.
“Could be better.” I pulled my mane back, and looked at the matted area where he had bit down. My head still hurt a little from his yanking. “It could have been a lot worse if you hadn't shown up when you did. Thank you, Law.”
Lyra shut herself back into the bedroom. He eyed the door with concern. “What about your marefriend?”
I didn’t bother correcting him. “I’m not sure. She’s not hurt though; not physically, anyways.” I nibbled my hoof. She was probably anything but all right.
“What in the name of Tartarus was that hooligan doing at this time of night? You don’t need me to call the boys down at the station, do you?” I spied his hoofcuff cutie marks. He did seem to be the type in law enforcement.
“He’s Lyra’s ex. He’s a little loco in the coco, but I think we’re safe for right now.” At least I hoped he wouldn’t be this hostile when he sobered up.
Law looked troubled. “I know it isn’t my business, but if he’s been making a ruckus this late at night and trying to hurt you or Lyra, she ought to get a restraining order on that S O B.”
Suffice it to say, I always dreaded Lucky knocking on my door. After what he did to Lyra, I did my best to get rid of him, and keep him away from her. Persistence, I could deal with. But I never thought he would become this violent (although, I probably should have). For the first time, I was truly afraid of Lucky, and what he might do to me or Lyra. “Thank you. I’ll talk to Lyra about it in the morning.”
“Does he have anything to do with the human snooping around here? I’ve seen the two of them around here a lot, recently.”
“Together?” I knew the two of them worked together during the night. But I was certain they never had any work to do around here.
“No, but between the human scaring off prospective buyers, and this creep harassing you and Lyra, I don’t think we’ll ever be able to move.” I raised an eyebrow. “We’ve been trying to sell the house and head off to Baltimare ever since I retired from the force. One pony seemed really interested in buying, so we were giving a tour, but the moment he saw that human walking around the street, he lost interest. He said some stuff about property values dropping, and then made a beeline to the door.”
“I’m sorry to hear that,” I said, picking my words cautiously.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be going on and on about my problems. Just, watch out for yourselves. Don’t be afraid to call the boys at the station if that punk gives you anymore trouble. And watch out for that human, okay?” Law returned to his doorstop and his fretful wife. “I’m getting too old for this shit,” he muttered under his breath.
I went back to our bedroom. Lyra was quietly sobbing in her bed, making no sound, but I could see the glint of tears streaming down her face. I climbed in next to her, and wrapped her in my hooves. “It’s okay. I’m not going to let him hurt you again.” Her trembling slowly died down, and gave way to even breathing. She eventually fell asleep like that, cradled in my hooves. It was a rough night for both of us, and she needed a good cuddle.
I still didn’t know what to think about Lucky’s words. It was clear in my mind that the less the two of us dealt with Lucky, the better. What he said about Lyra and the human didn’t sit right with me, in a way I couldn’t just dismiss as the ramblings of a jilted stallion. Lucky was clearly exaggerating, or misinterpreting, or something. But it made sense in a twisted sort of way. Not enough sense to risk upsetting Lyra over, but enough to nag on my mind. She had been spending a lot time with the human, and that was worrying enough in its own right.
She did seem awfully preoccupied with the human, and I began to wonder, if she felt something more than friendship there. The thought churned uncomfortably in my mind. It didn’t matter if it was true; in fact, it probably wasn’t at all. For her sake, I hoped it wasn’t. What mattered was it was in the realm of plausibility, and that would be more than enough for the rumor mill to outright accuse Lyra and the human of bestiality.
This was bad. This was really bad.
I woke to an empty bed and the scent of toasted bagels. I rolled out of Lyra’s bed, and I entered the kitchen. There was a modest breakfast set up for me; a glass of orange juice, and a cinnamon bagel, with a smear of apple butter. Lyra was already halfway through her meal. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, and smiled as the scent wafted towards me. “How’d you know I was craving this?”
You always want apple butter. I woke up early and went to the store.
“Lyra Heartstrings, waking up early and doing errands? What’s the special occasion?”
I had trouble sleeping.
“It’s certainly a nice treat to wake up to breakfast every now and then. Thanks.” I took a few bites of heaven. I wanted to take a moment to savor my breakfast, but the events of last night pulled my thoughts away from it. Nothing quite takes the taste out of apple butter like psychotic exes.
Reluctantly, I put down my breakfast. “Law thinks you should get a restraining order against Lucky. We should go to the courthouse, and get that today, after work.” Lyra didn’t respond, but suddenly made herself busy washing her plate. I waited for a full minute as she scrubbed the plate to a mirror finish, or what would have been a mirror finish had it not been a paper plate. She was still futzing with the soggy mass when I finally spoke up. “Lyra, we need to take care of this. The sooner you do this, the better off we’ll be.”
Lyra bowed her head and let out a long breath.
“What’s wrong?”
I don’t think he deserves that. He’s just a little confused right now.
“Lyra, he’s crazy! He tried to break down our door. He tried to hit me. He hurt you. He’s not going to leave either of us alone until we have a court order backing us up.”
She began scribbling in her notepad, but crossed it off with a defeated sigh, and began writing again. Her ears drooped and she tore off the entire page, crumpled it up and levitated it into the trash. Finally, she wrote something and presented it to me. We’ll go tomorrow. Besides, I have to pick up some groceries for dinner, and then get Jerry.
“Hold on a minute. I never agreed to have him over for dinner.”
You didn’t say ‘no’.
“I didn’t say ‘yes’ either.”
What’s your objection? None of the things ponies say about him are true. She looked defiantly at me.
“I know that, Lyra. It’s just that… I don’t think its so great for you to be spending time with him.”
Why not? He’s a great guy. I’ve been spending time with him, and I think it’s about time I invited him over.
“But that’s just it Lyra. You’ve been spending so much time with him. I think ponies are beginning to say things about you, too.”
Like what?
I hesitated to answer. “Lucky said something to me last night, before he went all whacko crazy pants on me.” I swallowed hard. “I mean, Of course I didn’t believe him at all, its just that, if he thinks that, other ponies might think that too, and start gossiping about it, so—”
I once again found the notebook floating inches away from my face. What did he say?
“He suggested that you and the human are… more than friends.” I tapped my hooves together nervously.
Is there something wrong with that?
“There’s certainly nothing good that can come of it. Lucky made some threats, and I’m getting worried.” I wasn’t particularly comfortable with the notion of Lyra having feelings for a nonpony either, truth be told. Lyra looked down, hurt. “They’re saying terrible things about Walker. They might start thinking the same things about you. I don’t want you associated with that. Especially if Lucky’s throwing his crazy around.”
I don’t care what they think, and you shouldn’t either. I’m willing to take that risk to my reputation if it means that ponies will treat Jeremiah better. I’m his friend, and the goddesses knows he needs one.
Stubborn, stubborn Lyra. She truly has a heart of gold, but I can’t understand her attachment for this simian creature. “Lyra, why are you so determined to help him?”
Because I know he wouldn’t hurt anypony. He’s thoughtful, he doesn’t lose his temper, no matter what’s thrown at him. He’s a kind soul in a rough spot. All he need is for Ponyville to give him half a chance, and then everypony will see what I see.
“You thought Lucky was a great guy too.” I regretted the words the moment they left my mouth. Lyra once again lowered her head, crestfallen, and I felt my heart twist. “Lyra, I… I didn’t mean that.”
This is different. Jerry’s only suffering because of the way people are treating him. But even after all the terrible things Ponyville has put him through, he’s still civil, he’s still kind. I can help him, Bon Bon, and I think he’s been helping me. She didn't look me in the eyes; she just kicked around one of the cat's toys.
I stood in stunned silence, seeking a suitable response. I hated seeing her this sullen, and I hated this knot of guilt gnawing at my stomach. “What would I even cook for him?” was all that I could manage to say.
Lyra eyes lit with excitement. Just like that, she was out of her funk, and seemed back to her goofy old self. She scratched her chin before scribbling something down. He needs something with protein.
“Like what?”
He seemed really enthusiastic about fish.
“For god’s sake Lyra, I’m not cooking a fish.” I squinted over to Al’s food bowl. “We could have a salad, and put some of Al’s food in it for him. That could work.”
Would he even be able to eat that?
I gave a shrug. “Omnivores can basically eat anything.”
Lyra scratched her chin thoughtfully. She levitated one of the pellets of Carnivore Chow to her, and examined it carefully.
My eyes widened with fright. “I don’t think—” I was too late. She popped it into her mouth and chewed on it carefully. It was all I could do to pinch my brow in exasperation. Just as quickly, her face soured, and she rushed to the sink to spit it out, before gulping water straight from the faucet. Al watched Lyra curiously, swishing his tail back and forth.
“Lyra, I don’t know what you expected.”
I just wanted to make sure it tasted good.
I raised an eyebrow, holding back a smirk. “And the verdict is?”
I don’t think he’d like it very much.
“Of course it doesn’t taste good to you, it has fish, and meat, and other carnivore stuff in it. He’d probably love it.” Lyra blanched, and gave the faucet another visit.
Needless to say, Lyra vetoed my cat food plan. I guess I would be kind of insulted if someone brought me pet food, but I still thought my salad idea was pretty ingenious. We went back and forth for a bit, but didn’t come to a solution. I know I should have steered the conversation back to the restraining order, but I loathed to spoil her good cheer twice in one day.
It wasn’t until I got back from work that Lyra scrambled through the door with a can of beans and a bag of rice. Not my usual fare, but before I could protest, she was out door again, running across town to get the human, leaving me alone to cook and clean the house. As the door swung shut, I couldn’t help but notice three horseshoe imprints stamped into the wood of the front door.
I began cooking the rice immediately; hopefully Lyra would take the scenic route back home, because I sure as hay didn’t know how to make rice cook any faster. In the few idle moments I had, I was running around the house cleaning what I could, and shoving under the couch what I couldn’t. And to think that just yesterday I thought I was going to be able to relax after work; instead I found myself working my flank off to prepare for a last minute guest.
Lyra strolled in, with Walker in tow, the two of them whistling a jaunty tune. Walker whistled the melody, and Lyra feebly whistled a response. “It takes a while to get the hang of it,” he said. The egg timer for the rice went off at that moment. I couldn’t have asked for better timing.
Lyra, I didn’t know you could whistle,” I said, as I turned off the stove top.
Jerry taught me.
He strolled up to the coat rack, and hung his knapsack on the hook. There was a bounce in his step that I hadn’t seen before. “Hi Bon Bon, what are you cooking?” Walker asked.
“Um, hello. We’re going to have some rice and beans. With some Cajun spices.” I peered into the pot. Feasibly it was palatable to both human and ponies. I looked to see his reaction.
“That smells great,” he said as he inhaled deeply.
It looked like I didn’t need to prepare the little bag of cat food after all. I surreptitiously tucked it into a nearby drawer. “Lyra, could you set the table?” Jeremiah sat down, while Lyra laid out the flatware and glasses with her magic. She brought over forks for herself and for Jeremiah. Everypony served themselves and started eating. Walker was visibly struggling to have his table manners prevail over his enthusiasm for the dinner, as he attacked the dish with barely restrained gusto. That’s as good as any compliment, I suppose. It was slightly curious watching him use a fork. Lyra rarely used silverware herself, and usually opted to eat the earth pony way, but tonight she too was using a fork.
“This is really good! Like really, really good,” Jeremiah managed to say between bites.
“Thank you. It’s nice to know that my cooking is appreciated. We tried to get something that fit your dietary needs,” I said.
“As long as it has protein, and it’s not peanut butter, it’s fine in my book.”
“Pardon?”
“Not like animals or anything,” he hastily appended. “It’s just that I’m so sick of peanut butter sandwiches. When I first got here, I had peanut butter for almost every meal of every day for over a month.” He gave a heavy sigh.
Do you eat fish? Fish has protein.
Walker hesitantly glanced back at the cat before answering. “Yeah.”
You could get a fishing license and a rod!
“That’s not a bad idea, assuming nopony labels me a fish murderer.”
“Wouldn’t he need to be registered as a citizen to get a fishing license?” I asked.
Jerry heard back from Mayor Mare. He’s going to be officially made a citizen.
“Kind of. It’s a non-equine work visa. Or at least an application for one," he said.
“What does that do?”
“It means that Twilight can’t kick me out, because I'll have legal status. It looks like I’m going to be staying in Ponyville for a lot longer than she anticipated.” He couldn't contain his grin.
“I don’t imagine that you'll have an easy time fishing around town. No doubt one of the fisherponies would find some reason to give you a hard time, regardless of citizenship.”
“I'll figure something out." He tried to take a sip of water, but ended up poking himself in the eye with the straw. He swore silently, as he blinked and rubbed his eye. “Why do ponies always use drinking straws?”
I shrugged. “It’s a lot easier than having to pick up the glass whenever you want to have a drink.” I wiggled my hoof to demonstrate my point.
Lyra was writing something. You know what I think the problem is? Ponies only see you during the night. I think that you’re working at night is actually detrimental to your cause. Think about this: ponies usually see you wandering around the streets in the dead of night, banging your hammers, and making a raucous. It makes you seem like a predator.
She stopped writing to flip the page. If you started working in the day, ponies would be able to see that you are just fixing things. If nothing else, they would get used to you being around them, and stop associating you with the night.
“You think so?” He took a thoughtful bite. “Maybe I’ll ask Lucky if we can start working in the day. Lord knows that would be easier on the both of us.”
Based on my conversation last night, I didn’t think Lucky would be doing any favors for the human anytime soon. “I think you might want to stay away from Lucky for a few days, actually.”
The human frowned. “Why? Is there something wrong?”
I turned to Lyra. “You haven’t told him?”
“Told me what?” His tone grew more concerned.
“Lucky is a no good piece of—” Lyra frantically waved her forelegs for me to stop.
Lucky and I used to date. He might be a little jealous that you’ve been spending time with me. We are a little worried that he might get upset. I tried to protest the understatement of the century, but I was shushed by Lyra. What the hell did she think she was doing?
“That’s it? Lucky’s one of the more level headed ponies I’ve met. He’s never been afraid of me, and he instantly realized I could help him as a handyman. I don’t think he would get jealous just because I hang out with Lyra.”
The dinner progressed, Lyra and Jerry chatting about this or that, while I was nibbling my hoof over Lucky. I really hoped I would be able to drag Lyra to the courthouse tomorrow morning, and just have this whole fiasco taken care of.
After the three of us finished cleaning the dishes, I pulled Lyra aside. “What was that? You just failed to mention to your so called friend that his boss is an abusive crap nozzle, who has a personal grudge against him!”
If Jerry found out about what Lucky did to me, he’d quit his job! You’ve heard him, Lucky hiring him is the only reason why he hasn’t been kicked out of Ponyville. If I let Jerry know anything about what happened last night, he’ll get angry and leave his job. Before you know it, everypony will be chasing him into the Everfree Forest, and it will be my fault.
I pinched my brow. “At least warn him to be careful around Lucky.”
She walked back to Jeremiah, and tried to lead him to the living room, where her record player awaited. “Hang on a second,” I heard him say.
Walker approached me, fiddling with his digits. “Bon Bon, I know we’ve just recently met, and this might put you in an awkward position, but would you write a letter of recommendation for me?”
“Pardon?”
He reached into his knapsack and produced a form and a pen. “It’s part of the NEVW. I need statements from three character references.” I eyed the form. Derpy had already filled out the first page, and Lyra the second. I looked over to the sweet, eccentric green unicorn, who over the last year had become my housemate and best friend. She was currently engaged in a duel with an errant fly buzzing around the kitchen. I winced as I saw the floating fly swatter creep up to the little bug resting on the lighting fixture. Before she could make a strike, the fly was back in the air, and Lyra was ineffectively flailing the fly swatter around the kitchen.
I flipped to the page labeled employer information. “Are you going to have Lucky fill this out?”
“Well, he is the one employing me.”
I bit my lip. “Have you ever thought of starting fresh in a new town? I know you didn’t have the best start here in Ponyville, with the breaking and entering, and what not. Maybe you’d have better luck in Manehattan.”
He sighed. “I have been thinking about it, but I hardly have enough saved up for one night at a hotel, let alone a month's rent and a down payment. Besides, despite everything, I still managed to make a couple of friends here, and they’re all trying to help me out. I don’t want to leave the one town in this whole land where I have ponies rooting for me. So in the mean time, it’s work visa or bust.” He offered the pen and form to me.
“Okay, but I have to ask a favor in return.” I swallowed hard. “Jerry, I just want you to understand, Lyra is special to me. I want to make sure nothing bad happens to her. It’s not exactly you I’m worried about, but what might happen because you’re around her.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Lucky and Lyra’s relationship was a lot more tumultuous than she let on, and I’m not quite sure Lucky thinks that the relationship is over yet. I think he might try something stupid.”
He looked at me incredulously. “I told you, Lucky’s reasonable. I can just talk to him, and tell him that we’re just friends. He’ll tell me if he has a problem.”
“Not the Lucky I know.” I gave him a wary glance. “It's not just him that you should be concerned about. It’s what other ponies will think when they see you walking around together.”
He let out a sigh. “So what do you want me to do?”
“Just know that every time she walks around Ponyville with you, she’s really sticking her neck out for you. You don’t have the greatest reputation, and like it or not, your reputation affects your friends. Lyra’s been in trouble before, and the cosmic matriarch knows that’s the last thing she needs right now.”
“What happened to Lyra?”
I glanced over to her. I thought of Law, and Lucky, and what everypony would think of Lyra for associating with this half-minotaur with a friendly smile and a bum rap. Very few ponies knew the truth about Lucky and Lyra’s relationship, so the rest were left grasping at straws. Most ponies saw Lucky sobbing over her, and drinking himself to death, while Lyra did her best to avoid him. She was the subject of much conjecture on part of the gossips. While not vitriolic, the rumor mill was not exactly kind to poor Lyra either. She had come home crying more than once from overheard conversations. I wanted to dismiss all of the theories, and expose Lucky for the piece of shit that he is; but the last thing Lyra wanted was for the whole town to know that she let her coltfriend hit her. Those rumors were almost faded from the grape vine, but I knew all of that negative attention was going to come back to rear it’s ugly head. “Lyra will tell you when she’s ready,” I said quietly .I put the pen in my mouth and began writing.
I forgot exactly what I wrote, but I expressed my full confidence in him as a creature of good character, as much as I could attest to in having known him for only two days. As soon as I hoofed it over, he nodded solemnly in thanks, and went to sit with Lyra.
Stats
Page generated in 0.05 seconds
Total duration
946 users online
1,580,413 hits today, 2,814,898 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
This is probably one of THE best HiE stories I've ever read. All the frikken dramas.
More plz.
I wonder what would happen, if someone were to start a show with sentient vegetables, and a pony ended up in that Universe.
2907665
Then they would starve. Thats why Omnivores are the best, they are more adaptable.
Loving this story. Maybe things are looking up for our human?
But I don't think you'd let him off that easily just yet. Shit's gonna go down between Lucky and Jerry. I can feel it in my bones.
THIS CHAPTER!!! So Lyra will do anything for Jerry eh....hmm....if Jerry ever leaves town want Lyra to: A) Kiss Jerry on the mouth and tells him how much she means to him, or B) Lyra leaves with Jerry. Anyway bottom line is FUCK PONYVILLE!!!
I'm enjoying the direction this is taking.
Now it's a game of guessing from which character's perspective the next chapter will be.
...uh...Twilight, maybe?
Yay for Jerry
Boo for assholes
I can imagine Jerry trying to talk to Lucky and somehow fucking up so everypony will call him a ponyfucker.
Just don't screw up Jerry!
2907665
A My Little Pony/Veggie Tales crossover?
Showdown against Lucky happening soon?
lucky is now on the list of "sons of bitches ellis told me to kill
Aaaaand... Good chapter, but!
Finally. Ponies in this story who aren't completely horrible to the human.
I guess Cheerilee and Mayor Mare weren't that bad, but finally. Some ponies who can get passed their prejudices towards things they refuse to understand. I'm really curious as to what Celestia's input would be in the situation. Would she see that the way Ponyville is treating him is completely horrible, or would she side with them because they're "her little ponies?"
He really needs to make a "Who has two thumbs" joke with Spike.
Spike approves
I apologize for that emoticon, but it's the only one with Spike..;
I think I'd actually like to see things begin to move up for our poor human. A showdown with Lucky that actually goes his way for once. It could easily end up looking like "Oh no the human is trying to eat poor Lucky!" But it would be nice to give him a break of "Lucky was being a jerk and only that human stood up for her! Maybe he's not so bad." Also all of Applejack's lies at the farm are going to be eating the shit out of her. She'll break and confess to being a source of unfounded and utterly made up rumour soon enough.
And Fluttershy will eventually forgive him too.
I'm jumping way way ahead, but I'd really like to see the poor bastard get a break soon. It's just so depressing! Good, but depressing! THIS STRY IS GLORIOUS SELF HARM!
I'm not getting my hopes up. Lucky and Jerry are going to have a confrontation, and it's all going to end horribly.
This is going to be one of those stories where the protagonist dies, isn't it?
2908116
While she definitely would put her little ponies above everything else, she's not stupid. As long as he's not being, you know, evil, I think she'd be fine with him. I mean, come on.
2908131
....I don't get that reference, though i've heard it elsewhere. Enlighten me plz?
Dang, poor guy just never gets a break does he?
And yet more rationality prevails in the gradually-redeeming-itself town of Ponyville! Huzzah!
Also, 'chased out of the farm' is a lot more forgivable than 'beaten to a bloody pulp'.
2908345
Not the first time it appeared, but here's a good example:
This is definitely one of the better chapters. Very nice balance between the ups and downs. Of course, compared to some of the earlier chapters that makes this one downright positive. The upcoming confrontation with Lucky is being foreshadowed heavily and I have no doubt Jerry will garner some hate no matter how it starts or ends. The real question though is whom Bon Bon is addressing in this chapter.
It's nice to see those fishing and pet issues lampshaded here. The idea that fishing may be heavily regulated in Equestria and require a permit is genius. It's a logical obstacle for Jeremiah, but not one impossible to overcome (or ignore). I take it ponies are not big on mushrooms nor willing to head into the closest forest to collect some. They'd make a viable alternative meat if you can get enough. Which reminds me, we haven't seen Zecora at all so far, have we?
Here are some typos and other things to nitpick about.
"Sometimes we pick one up in the marketplace from one of the fisherman" <-- Bon Bon says fisherman?
"or this angry.His voice" <-- Missing space
"... and making a raucous." <-- Wouldn't it be racket here?
[missing quotation mark]Lyra, I didn’t know you could whistle"
"You know what I think the problem is? Ponies only see you during day." <-- Doesn't she mean the opposite here? Ponies hardly see him out and about during the day?
Keep doing what you are doing.
2907838
Actually, they have one over at fanfiction.net, only it's the other way around.
Argh! How can Jerry be so calm about all this!? I would be furious if I was in his position!
Regardless, I am really enjoying this story. I like this more interesting take on the HIE concept.
2908131
NO. Do not apologize for the emoticon. If you mustache any questions shave it for later....
That is an example of something you should simultaneously feel proud of and apologize for.
Awesome chapter! Can't wait for more!
Every chapter's a winner with this story. Funny thing: updates are far enough between that I tend to forget the story's name, yet I remember every little thing within.
2908525
Because losing his cool would take away what little he has going for him. He has nothing to fall back on if he screws up what he has going. Right now the situation he's in could be compared to that of a pit bull with a history of anger issues: one bite, even in self defense, and they'll almost certainly have him put down.
2908515 I'm just going to say while I'm normally an advocate of properly poninfying language for the sake of immersion, there is a point where it ends up having the same problems as feminizing/gender-neutralizing language. For example:
Manhole, if you try to do anything to this word it just sounds wrong.
I rest my case.
Can I be honest with you?
This is the first non-adventure, normal human story that managed to get so much interest from me! I love it and always drop everything when it updates. I can't wait for more! Keep up the good work!
Seriously!
2908748
Later on in the chapter there's mention of "fisherponies". Sole reason why I even mentioned it is the inconsistency.
2908131
Dude, I think he should use it when he confronts lucky.
2908771 Not pointing out fisherponies specifically, just musing about ponification in general.
2908525
Yeah, it's amazing how Jerry has managed to keep his cool throughout all of this, not that he has much of a choice with most of ponyville viewing him as an animal. Personally, I think I would have started eating ponies a few chapters ago if I were in his shoes.
Poor Jerry
why do the ponies keep calling him an animal because animals don't talk or wear clothes and Jerry is doing both of those things
I really hope Lucky gets hurt. He needs it.
Also, I know I wouldn't be the same as Walker in his position. I'd be all like, "... You little shits want a monster? I'll give you a monster!" but because they're so cute, i'd just run around breaking things until they grew the balls to just end me. Also, if either of the princesses showed up, i'd smack their flanks and run off laughing like a mad man. Ah, glorious.
Yay things are looking up.... To Author: WTF is gonna happen to him now lol?
This story is painful, horrybly so. I feel like commiting insensitive murder just by reading it. I will commit suicide if it means to kill something in its name.
I mean I...
I HATE. EVER. SINGLE. SECOND. I. READ. THIS.
AND KNOW I CAN'T HELP JERRY.
It's painful.
2909285 And the fact that they said earlier in the story that Griffons are just as much of a carnivore, if not more so, than Jerry, but they still consider them to be more civil! Honestly I just think it is biased hatred of the minority.
2907759 Thumbs up because it was deserved. That should be the ending if ponyville outcasts him and continues to treat Lyra bad. Whoever downvoted you deserves a kick to the face.
I really want to see applejack hurt later on for her lies. In fact I wanna see all of ponyville, or Atleast whoever was a dick to Jerry to suffer
2908688 I understand that, but that man has patience. Alot of patience.
Either Lucky's a master at holding it together when he's sober, or he's a really bad drunk.
Glad to see Jerry's following up the idea of fishing, although I'd have thought he'd have run into fishmongers at the marketplace, given he's been there before. Maybe he just missed them - and/or they use scent-reduction spells on their stalls. Nice work with the fishing license - it's extremely plausible and a valid potential source of complications (as well as explaining why he might not have been able to do it before). And I guess he's holding back on quizzing Bon-Bon and Lyra about where they source their catfood. Potential problems abound there, too, particularly if it turns out to be Fluttershy. Or Applejack.
2910952
In all actuality, there are people that have no backbone like that, like me. I remember being bullied but instead of reporting I just avoid them. I even remember being shunned once I screwed myself over, I just smiled... But my interior was doing the polar opposite.
Maybe Walker is really hurt on the inside... Like really really hurt, just like I did., but he kept on smiling and being the good guy that he is. He may not have backbone on the outside, but his mind may be a whole different story.
2910590
Alot
So, is Jerry ever going to have something good happen to him? I get that the story is all about Jerry really having a hard time living in Ponyville but having nothing but negative things happen to him is depressing. It would be nice to see something good happen to him, instead of all of this hatred from Ponyville.
2907759 I want upvote AND downvote your comment for some reason.... My inner yin yang needs balance I guess.
2910952 It makes him an enjoyable character. AND, it makes him human.
We don't get a lot of HiE fics with actual an actual human.
2911613
Alot
2909643
24.media.tumblr.com/d5e20bcf42a250ea65330b21d46aba0d/tumblr_mq8xjd0dii1qa9r7oo1_500.gif
And here I was prepared for a total downer chapter, instead it turned into a, for this story, really happy and upbeat chapter, with actual progress and good fortune for Jerry. Woo!