The Nightmare Before the Journey
“Well...This is it.” Stan looked up at the large pair of doors to the castle. He held the paper tight in his grip, hoping it would save him from whatever he was soon to face. He took a deep breath, and walked up to the door.
He raised one of his hooves and gently knocked. He stood there listening for a couple seconds before saying, “Welp, looks like no one’s home.” He quickly turned and started walking down the flight of stairs, but then the pair of door swung open, stopping him dead in his tracks. He turned around and looked past the doors into the dark abyss. He gulped, knowing he would have to walk in now.
He took his first step inside. “H-hello?” He whispered, wanting now answer. He took another step. “Hel-”
Suddenly, the doors slammed behind him, he yelped and flew into the dark air. He looked around get a scene of his surroundings, but there wasn’t a source of light anywhere. He started panicking, looking everywhere for something that he could see. Anything.
Then his ears twitched. He immediately stopped flying and crashed down on the hard floor. He rubbed his flank while his ears continued to twitching, he could swear that he was hearing some weird music in the background. “Is..Is someling ther-”
A bright light that shined above interrupted him, before he could ask where it was coming from, a voice all too familiar to him started talking.
“Well, well well,” It said. “what do we have here
a little changeling, huh?
Oh! I’m just so scared
so you’re the big brave bug commin’ into my home
AH HAHAHA!”
Stan jolted as another bright light shined on a figure that he knew all too well. It was her. In all her winged, horned, rainbow hair flowing, white coated glory.
“You’re joking,” She said. “you’re joking
I can't believe my eyes
You’re kidding me, you gotta be
there's no way this bug will survive”
Stan could feel an aura begin to surround him. before he could react, he felt his entire body get moved from one place to another. he shut his eyes, not wanting to see anything.
“He’s scared stiff, and smells tasty
I wonder what I'll do next
perhaps I should rip him apart?
no, I don’t want to create a mess.”
Stan eyes were forcibly opened by her magic, and in an instant he screamed in fear as he came face to face with the princess, her white sharp teeth and glowing red eyes were enough to make him petrified with fear.
“When the princess of Equestria
feels a changeling in the area
you’d better start worrying now
because I’m Celestia.
And if you are afraid,
which I think you might be
you’d better start realizing
you’ll be dying by the hooves of me.”
She then grabbed Stan by his arms and started dancing, spinning him a couple times and then stopping mid way to look him in his eyes. Stan couldn’t move the entire time due to the constant fear in his mind.
“And if I’m feeling hungry,
or I need a snack or two
I might whip up a delicious batch
of young hatchling stew.”
Instantly, Stan found himself in front of a boiling cauldron filled with green liquid, with the white tyrant stirring it.
“And don’t you know the one thing
that would make it oh so nice,”
She magically grabbed Stan and brought him up to eye level.
“a lovely little changeling
to add a little spice.”
She then threw him at wall, where he slumped down to the bottom of it as she cackled with laughter. Stan lowered his ears and tried to think of a way out of this, then he remembered the treaty.
“Listen princess” he said “I have something
to show that we mean no heresy.”
He held up the treaty for her to see.
“this paper says that we want peace
so please just show some mercy.”
The princess only laughed more and levitated him again, slowly pulling him toward her.
You’re joking! you’re joking.
I can't believe what you've been tellin’
Guards! Quick! Tie him up,
before I start to kill him.”
Within seconds, a dozen guards came charging at him at full speed. Stan could feel his entire body get hit like a freight train, he tried to struggle but the red eyes from the princess kept him still.
“Its funny.” She said. “I’ve been laughing,
little bug, you’re becoming too much,”
The guards backed off and she came face to face with the petrified changeling.
so, without your permission
I’m going to do my stuff.”
Stan closed his eyes and looked away as she glided her long green tongue across his face. “What..What are you going to do?”
Celestia giggled. “I’m gonna do the best I can.” With her horn ablaze with magic, she picked him up and turned him upside down, he started struggling again, but the rope made sure that wasn’t going to happen. After realizing he was doomed he decided to at least look at what was going to kill him, he gasped in surprise to see that he was now being suspended right above the cauldron full of his dead siblings. Before he could plead, Celestia rose behind him and continued to sing.
“NEHAHAHHA, the sound of your cries and struggles,
are like music in the air
cause I’m an evil princess
so of course I don’t play fair.”
She grabbed Stan’s side and put on an evil smile.
“but its much more fun, I must confess
when a life is on the line
not mine, of course, but yours, little one
now that would be just fine.”
Stan’s heart was beating faster than ever, and he was starting to breath too hard. He swallowed and said,
“Princess, please stop doing this to me,
I’m only here to give you a treaty.”
The princess continued grinning and held up the paper with her magic.
“Oh little bug,” She said, bursting the page into flames. “you’re something
you put me in a spin,”
She used all her strength in her arm to spin Stan around in the air.
“and you don’t seem to be comprehending
the position that you’re in.”
He stopped spinning and his eyes adjusted to see the pair of red eyes again.
“It’s hopeless.” She said. “You’re finished.
I hope your body’s ready
because I’m the Evil Tyrant Tia,
and you’ll make a nice room
In. My. Belly."
She cackled with laughter as she released Stan, making him scream as he started falling closer and closer to the green goo. All he could do now was close his eyes and wait for the inevitable. Which should be happening any second now….Any second now.
*WHAM*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Ow...” Stan yelled as he rubbed his head. He opened his eyes and panted his lungs out. He looked around to see that he was no longer tied up or in a dark castle, but in the forest. He breathed a hefty sigh. “Thank the Queen, it was just a dream.” He said, giving a nervous laugh.
He stood up and looked up, now seeing what happened. “Must've made my way on the branch last night." He groaned. "Curse my sleep flying syndrome.” He rubbed his head and started making his way out of the forest, but as he continued walking, something in the back of his mind told him to go back home, and that that dream of his could come true. He just shook that thought out of his head and kept walking. This was a fear he had to face. “For the swarm.” He said to himself, but not before throwing up in a nearby bush.
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Dawww I feel sorry for Stan the Changeling.
I had a nightmare once where I was on a school trip to a mansion where it then exploded. For some reason.
Item 1. I approve of the name "Stan" for comedic protagonists.
Item 2. Oogie Boogie's song...a classic. It's hard to imagine the song being sung by anything other than a bass though.
One heck of a rough morning keep up the great story
Wow, that song.
Wow "The Wheatley Song" from Harry. I applaud you sir/madam
I am loving this so fucking much so far
That was great!
I wonder if Luna watches changeling dreams as well?
Not even read it yet, and already I'm interested. That cover image had me giggling for a good two minutes.
How long do you think this fic will be, Dr Atlas?
4459038
Well, seeing as how I didn't expect this story to get this much attention.
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/373/328/eee.gif
4459100
Than go ahead and go practice
medicinewriting!Clearly someling has been watching too much of "The Night Before Hearth Warming".
4455771
Good, why? He has an irrational fear of Celestia. Irrational in this case means unfounded, no reason to have it. That she is benevolent, just, understanding, and compassionate. So why would someone like that need to be insulted?
4459100 Ed Ed and Eddy
This is not a bad story. I really like the premise. However, there are quite a few flaws. Just because a story made the Featured page doesn't mean it's great-- it just means it's popular.
The pacing is a little on the fast side, but not by much. Just throw in some more descriptions and details. Just two minutes of work would make a big difference.
The grammar could use a little polish. You have a pretty good grasp of the English language, but it's not quite enough to write a story with. You're average. There was one line that really bugged me:
This is one mistake that always annoys me when I see it. A little tip: in the English language, the phrases "must of", "should of", "would of", etc. do not exist. What you meant to say was either "must have" or "must've". The source of the mistake comes from mishearing the latter.
And lastly, that song you spoofed is one of the most often-parodied songs out there. It's not quite as overdone as "Arrow in the Knee" or "Twilight evolved into Rapidash", but it's still not the most original gag out there. It's a nice try, though.
Any other flaws I can think of aren't certain yet. It's still too early in the story to determine if what I'm thinking of are flaws or just flukes.
I kinda like this story, but it's too soon to tell if it's good. You haven't quite hooked me yet.
4459425
Erm, well, ponies appear to be they're natural enemy...and Celestia is one that can basically kamikaze your people with the sun, fly, and use magic. As for Hatchling eater, what monster have you heard of that doesn't eat children? Slenderman, werewolves and vampires all supposed kill children. It's like that one horror story you're dad told you at the campfire. And, well, she kind of sent them flying out of a entire country and..Well you saw what happened in chapter 1.
Just my opinion.
4459725
... You don't understand. I was saying it's an irrational fear. Meaning yes, that is what the changeling(s) believe. The person I was responding to seemed to think it was a good idea that Celestia is being insulted. I'm questioning them as to what logical means they have for their personal opinion.
I heard the screech of a dragon.
There's several of these.
What? 'To the branch'? You mean he sleep-flew into a branch, maybe? Also, it's Must've.
All in all, it's kind of a nice story so far. The song and dance routine was done quite well (although the different characters' dialogue needed spacing to separate them sometimes), and you just don't see that too often. Nice touch. The premise is really super-interesting, no doubt a huge part of why it's been featured, and I really want to see where it goes.
But let's face it, your editing is lack luster. It's... not really that hard to edit your own writing. I realize that some people think themselves incapable of it, but if you can write this much this well, you can do it. If you really want a cop out, you can look for editors in various editing groups around here. Or just ask for someone interested in doing the job in the author's notes. If this stays in the feature box, which I'm gambling it will, you will come across way more grammar nazis than just me. Believe me, I'm tame comparatively.
Regardless, I'll leave you with this:
imageshack.com/a/img33/5764/likethischapter.jpg
4458726
You mean Oogie Boogie's song from Nightmare Before Christmas?
4459781
Whoops!
This reminds me of the wheatley song...
37.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lzvfdv3boY1rn9ge0o1_1280.jpg
Sorry just had to for the lols. Nice work
C'mon guys, the title itself even says where it's from. The Nightmare Before Christmas. Why's everyone talking about Portal? How young do you have to be to not recognize TNBC?
4459825 I got it from a song on Youtube that is inspired by the Oogie Boogie. I said that first because I thought of it first. Here is the song
4460241
I'm aware, there's plenty of songs out there that just replace the words from the Oogie Boogie song. It just baffles me that I've seen more people referring to it like it came from one of the spin-off parodies than the original.
... I feel old, some times.
4460257 I feel ashamed that I've never that I have never seen The Nightmare Before Christmas. I've only caught bits and pieces of it.
4460263
Keep this up and I'm going to go get my cane and yell at kids who walk across my lawn.
4460303 HA Good one
4460303 .....
*Checks 10 year old joke book*
That was funny
Would have faved this just for the cover art even if it wasn't as great as it is.
So it is a song shamelessly ripped out of The Nightmare before Christmas.
Can't wait for plot.
So there I was.
waking up, taking a shower, eating breakfast,
and then I wondered, "Hows that fic that I wrote doin'"
So I turned on my lap top and went straight to this website and...
img.pandawhale.com/post-10149-team-fortress-2-bloody-hell-gi-FLrO.gif
WHY!?
I'm not mad but....why?
This fic was writin' in a couple hours,
and as you can see...there are many grammar mistakes.
And the reason for that would be...
I suck...at writing.
So...I realize now that spelling, punctuation, miss use of words, and so on and so forth. Ain't my strong hat.
ck sake it needs to earn it
so, I'm laying my other hats on the table and saying this
images.wikia.com/ed/images/5/52/Eddy_sad.jpg
I. Need. Help
If a fic like this wants this sort of attention, then for F
So please, I need some of that Editing skittles that some people have
I know before in another story that I wrote, I said I don't need any of that candy
But I've realized that I'm....
kamui.org/wordpress/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/wrongluthor.jpg
So...please...
I'll just fave and keep an eye on this.
4460760
I'll be nice and share some of my skittles with you!
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/c/ca/Skittles-Louisiana-2003.jpg
Stan is stalked by Celestia-Creepers.
Hey Staaaaaan... hissssssssssssssssssssssssssss
4460257 Feh, I recall the Marx Brothers!
Ah, "Duck Soup". Most kids today can't even process the jokes fast enough to keep up with Groucho.
*Alondro is ancient!*
I haven't read any of this yet but this is a great story concept.
That song is the bestest thing. Evar
hmm, I like where this is going. Interesting concept. I await more
This is kinda funny- Celestiphobia means (in mishmashed latin with a greek suffix): fear of heaven.
4460760 You only have yourself to blame
If that story pic is anything to go off of, Stan is such a cute little Changeling! D'AAAWWW, just look at his little finsies all flopped over!
4460760
The reason that this story is doing so well despite some grammar and technical issues is really quite simple.
Readers are interested in the central premise. The idea of a changeling struggling with (and hopefully being forced to confront) his primal fear of Celestia is what is drawing so much attention.
All you need to do is work a bit on polishing up / fine-tuning the story vehicle containing your idea, and you'll end up with something really special!
4461449
I'll see your duck soup and raise you a 'why a duck' joke.
Seriously though, old stuff is beautiful. If nothing else, a lot of older fiction and media is infinitely more amusing and witty that most of the stuff that's manufactured nowadays. Anyone here read 'Three Men in a Boat' or the 'Diary of a Nobody'? The gags in those never fail to crack me up. 
As most people have said, the concept of the story is certainly intriguing, although the presentation needs a little polish. Very much looking forward to the next chapter!
4458576 I once had a nightmare that involved literal bloody puppets that were chasing me. And they were, in fact, bloody.
4463170 I CARVED THE FIRST 'YO MAMMA' JOKE IN IRAQ 3,500 YEARS AGO!!
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ancient-tablet-world-oldest-yo-mama-joke-sex-beer-humor-article-1.1015067
THAT'S HOW OLD I AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!!!!
*Alondro is 10,000 years older than sand.*
This is an interesting story, but it needs better spelling and punctuation.