Flash Sentry’s a nobody, and he knows it. But when a mysterious fortuneteller hints at his path to greatness, he determines to embrace his destiny—and to bring along a famous journalist to record the details for posterity.
Story canon-compliant up through the end of Season Four. It stands on its own, but it occurs after Slice of Life. In relation to my other CheesePie stories, it falls just after Goodbye, Boneless and just before Good Morning, Beautiful. Oh, yes, and implied CheesePie, although this shouldn't be a big surprise.
Inspired by a blog post by Elric of Melnipony, and a prompt suggestion by Sweet Al Belle.
The cover image is DM29's Battle of the Waffle Stealers. Used by permission.
100% approved by Twilight's Library!
Chapters (3)
What did i just read? It..... Was...... GREAT!!!!!
The grammar could use a little smoothing out and the premise seems a little meta but I like the characters and I'm want to see where this goes.
....
What am I reading? Oh, boy, this oughta be good.
....
....
Yes... yes... steal those waffles...
Why must you cliffhanger me?
Well, this promises to be entertaining. Looking forward to more, especially how Cheese got roped into this mess.
Also, I never noticed that the League of Waifu Theft had even representation between the three tribes until now. Neat.
I thought this concept sounded familiar.
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4452975 Hope it's ok! Yep, that's why I credited your blog and you and SweetAl Belle. If you'd like me to move it to the long description, let me know.
Well, if you can power a clock with a potato, I'm not surprised that you can start a fire with one.
Actually, that's probably how Cheese did it, isn't it? Stick two ends of a wire into the right potato and you've got a short circuit ready to burst into flames.
In any case, eagerly looking forward to Princess Twilight's judgement. And I love Pinkie's self-fulfilling prophecy. Silly Flash.
4452694 Patience, grasshopper. I rushed the next one out, just for you guys.
4452679 Thanks!
4452686 Thank you! Hmm. I'll have to look over the grammar again. I'm usually pretty good with that.
4452689 Hope you're enjoying it!
4452695 Behold the next chapter. Yes. Funny about that. If you're counting Soarin' and Bulk Biceps, which I don't really, but there they are, Pegasi might be a bit over-represented, but aren't they always?
You were pretty much challenging him there, dude.
Is he the best because he's the ONLY one? How dedicated do you have to be to try making waffles just to steal them?
Trenderhoof is violating about 50 rules of journalistic integrity helping someone commit a crime just so he can write about it. I'd say you can't fault his pursuit of the story but at the point where you start doing things that lead to your arrest you really can...I'm laughing at his screwups.
4453137
Whooo! I appreciate it.
They should have known better. Trend always had the most waffle credentials.
Also, Trend fussing over cooking pleases me. Pinkie's arrival was lovely, though I'm a tad confused. Is the dungeon above ground or below ground or at ground level? Only thing that I had some trouble imagining properly. She came up out of the floor, right? Or did I misread it?
4453131
I was going to ask about that, but I think you're right.
I WANNA LIGHT A FIRE WITH A PATATOE!!! KILL IT WITH FIRE
4453119
Whatever you wanna do. I'm easygoing.
4453296 Never challenge a party pony. It's asking for big trouble, since they operate on cartoon logic.
4453577
There's less competition that way, isn't there? Evidently, Flash didn't exactly think this one all the way through.
4453651 Trend should have volunteered to begin with. Who knows if I'll ever get around to it, but I think Trend is most fun if you take some stuff about him straight: that he is (usually) popular, that he does have a good eye and a good palate (I'd like to think that he has an exceptional palate), and that he genuinely admires Earth Ponies, with the possible exception of Cheese. He and Cheese just don't see eye to eye.
The dungeons are at below ground level. Pinkie dug straight down and underneath the castle dungeons and up through to the floor. Luckily it isn't set in bedrock, just dirt. That would be something only her older sister could manage. As it was, it took her an hour or two, max, and probably a lot less than that. Who knows why the castle has dungeons, but since it came ready-furnished with a Round Table, seven thrones, and a lot of blank windows suitable for stained glasswork, there are probably all sorts of secrets about the place that nopony knows about yet.
Fan of Most Everything is correct. That's exactly how he did it, only I don't think he meant to. He was just bored and fooling around. And Cheese operates on Law of Funny, so it really was just asking for trouble
4453811 There are actually YouTube videos on how to do this, but I wouldn't try it if someone paid me.
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4454244 Does it have Flashlight?
4454796 No, not really, although it's not blatantly anti-Flashlight, either. She's not going to punch him in the face. Since Julian Yeo was nice enough to let me use his picture, I'm not going to use it for an anti-Flashlight fic!
I don't want to tip my hand too much, but I can't blame you for asking. I don't believe in stealth ships, if that helps, so if it really WERE going to be seriously Flashlight, I'd have come right out and said so. That's why the long description says "implied CheesePie," even though there's really nothing shippy in the fic at all. Does that help?
I laughed before I even started reading. You know why? Those chapter titles. Brilliant.
Do I feel dumb for not figuring out who the fortune teller was until the mention of a tent? I really thought I should have gotten it immediately. But then again, I just woke up, so bleh.
And the potatoes. Just. Genius.
I'm excited to see where this is going, so have a fav. I'm also going to guess that there are a few dislikes solely because of Flash Sentry? That's just my guess, and I honestly don't get the hate, but let's see what we can do about that shall we? *Gives a thumbs up*
4454373 *raises hoof* CAN I HELP?!
4453296 4454244
If Flash really wanted to keep Cheese out of trouble (and knew him well enough), he would have told Cheese to get into trouble. Either Cheese would have failed humorously, provided a useful distraction, or inevitably lead everyone straight back to Flash and Trend. Point being, that's a good 2/3rd chance of successfully stealing waffles, and the best you can hope for in that situation.
Or maybe they should have all worn cat-suits? Apparently those help on stealth missions.
"Hello, Flash. Surprised to see you around here. Go on through."
"... Huh? Oh, right. I am a guard. Thanks!"
"They didn't even ask where your armor was... Should that worry me?"
"These outfits are too stylish to question, Cheese. I should know. I wrote about them awhile back."
Lots of eye rolling from Flash and Cheese. Trend remains smug, since it was his idea.
Okay, that makes sense.
Maud Pie! Expert dungeon breaker! Bedrock keeping you in and getting you down? Not any more! No prison, cage, or coat of marble can stop her! Are you in an extra-dimensional space that is tied to a count-down? She can't reach you, but she will sucker punch the pony who put you there if you ask her to.
Maud Pie! Dungeon breeeeeaker!
It's Twilight's Bee-trayal Box, so they can give Discord time-outs when he betrays them in the future.
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Those stained class windows will be brilliant, I'm sure. The winder-makers will have a field day!
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But yes. So many secrets to uncover.
Understandable. Poor Cheese thought he was going to be at a party, but it wasn't the fun kind of party. It was a Rescue-Liberation-Adventure-Waffle-RPG-Cooking Party.
As someone who generally avoids the romance tag and shipping, I enjoyed your interpretation of Trenderhoof and Flash Sentry as a comedic duo. The fun and snappy tone helped.
When I first read the premise I was like
, then reading the chapters I was like 
.
Seriously how do you come up with these amazing ideas, this is comedy GOLD! Although this portray of Flash is......interesting to say the least. But I think your making me like Trenderhoof now I think I going to watch "Simple Ways" again to find out. But anything with little Cheesie in it is bound to be a great adventure! (those seriously Flash.........potatoes can't go wrong? you hadn't met Cheese)
Now I wonder how this is going to end......................
Definitely one of your best fics. I love seeing these three interact! Looking forward to the next chapter!
Oh boy.
Another terrific plan gone bad!
Oh boy, I think I'm going to actually like this crime fic.
Hey guys! Hope you enjoy the final chapter!
4456603 Thank you! I've become very fussy about tagging. I don't want my readers to be disappointed, so if there's going to be anything shippy at all, I come right out and say so, and I try to be truthful about the category tags, too.
4457052 Flash is tricky. I have to agree with Elric that Flash is bland at best--at least, that's what I think. You've got almost all the same challenges as writing an OC, only so many readers already hate him. Cheese, on the other hand, is automatically awesome, or at least I think so.
4454871 Thank you! I always feel absolutely stumped for chapter titles, so that's nice to hear.
4458577 Thanks!
4462006 Master criminals these guys are not.
Wait, that was the ending? Woah woah woah, I thought I was reading the legend of Trenderhoof and Flash Sentry, partners in shenanigans.
That was still pretty entertaining, though, and I'm glad Twi took it in good humor.
Weird Al's "Polkas on 45" came on my iTunes as I started reading this chapter. How's that for serendipity?
I don't usually point out typos, but I can't make heads or tails of this one. Did the hose give his coat eyes or what?
My favorite explanation for Trenderhoof's argyle mark is that his special talent is finding emergent patterns in society. Trends, in other words. As for Flash, my only explanation for his shield-and-thunderbolt mark is that he's really good at positioning himself so ponies walk into him. That's why he's such a great guard! You're trying to get somewhere you're not supposed to be, but all you get is a faceful of armor.
In any case, a most amusing story. Thank you for it.
Well, that was a fun read. At least they weren't too severely punished for that disaster.
"Marry me?" Pfft, that's not going to happen anytime soon, Flash.
4462176 Serendipitous indeed!
A "staring" coat is one that's bristling up or standing out. If your dog's coat is staring and his eyes are lackluster, time to go to the vet. Cheese's coat is just drying strangely. I like your explanations of Flash and Trend's cutie marks, too.
4462172 Oh, dear. I hope you weren't too disappointed. Still not a shipfic, though. Flash had his Big Waffle Adventure, and now he gets to go back to his grunt job again, feeling lucky to have it.
4462259 No--I'd say it's not happening anytime soon. But he did not get punched in the face! I really would have felt bad if I'd misused Julian's picture like that, and there's still room for Flashlight shippers to feel that the door's cracked ajar. She may think he's a doofus, but at least she knows Smash Entry's name now!
Trenderhoof needs a real vacation if his health is suffering. I like that he didn't even question Twilight's actions or decision, though I was initially surprised that she was looking in his mouth. Flash noticed he looked kind of poorly in the beginning too, so that was a nice call-back to the first chapter. Poor fella shouldn't have agreed to go along with Flash.
You realize now I'm going to demand that auto-biography prompt from you?
Or else Trend getting some rest and relaxation at home, where ever he lives. He needs a break and there are so many wonders that can wait while he enjoys a more mundane life. I'd actually love to see his house, his neighbors, and his friends, if you had any thoughts on that matter. It might be far too boring.
4462176 4462327
I was gonna ask about that myself. Much as that answers the question, you might want to consider picking a different description for that sentence in the story, because I'd never heard of that definition before and I'm not sure how many people have. Unless they read the comments, you might get more people pointing it out. Then again, perhaps I'm assuming too much based on my own experience. You could leave it as it is and see if anyone else mentions being confused before tweaking it. Really a minor issue.
Spike's comment about shoving Trend back into the dungeon was priceless. I liked the overall resolution too, especially with Cheese and Pinkie. And of course he protected Boneless 2!
Well, makes sense why they didn't get that punished I mean it's just for waffles after. (sure they killed a family of potatoes but STILL).
AND THE FLASHLIGHT SHIPPERS GO WILD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Watched the episode and yup I think I love Trenderhoof's character now, not in my Top 10 but still sweet. (either that or I have a weakness against adorable dorks like Cheese) But say what you will this is probably one of my favorite one-shots, oh yea and a bit of Cheesepie.
4462491
, that is two readers too many, and there are certain to be more. I changed "staring." I didn't quite think it was that unusual, probably because I spent two years monitoring my old cats for chronic renal failure and "staring" was a bad thing. But because of that, "staring" isn't even an optimal word, so I got rid of it.
4462176 I say if you have two readers going
I think the reason Trend doesn't mind Twilight looking in his mouth is that he is just THAT exhausted, and somepony is showing some kind of concern about him. I imagine him as totally burnt out by now, but then, I'm thinking of the Trend I built in Slice of Life. I don't know if I can do the autobio prompt now, since Cheese was going to read it and fulminate about it to a third party, and I always think of my stuff as connected even if officially it isn't. Still possible, though, because Cheese doesn't know the bit about Trend not feeling great. I dismissed our criminals in reverse order of culpability: Cheese, Trend, Flash. Yes, I know, Cheese started the fire, but who got them in there in the first place?
Trend wouldn't have agreed to go with Flash if he hadn't said the "A" word. He needs to just go and be with some real apples for a change.
4463063
I love the idea of a family of potatoes.
Something for everypony! I'm kind of neutral on Flashlight. Then again, I really don't have any ships except for CheesePie. Glad you liked it!
4463096 I still like "Slash Defenestrate" better.
4464514
Flatterer.
4463063
Cheese's second funeral in this timeline will be for a family of potatoes. He'll mourn the loss of such upstanding root vegetables and regret his accidental arson for a life time. He'd sob into his french fries forever more, except ponies don't seem to eat them that way. It's probably for the best. He'd eventually grow sour towards them and refuse to order them off the menu because of the memories.
I think Trenderhoof makes a bad first impression simply because Rarity acts so embarrassing. You can't help wanting to try and shake her out of it, the very first time, by pointing at him and going, "Not worth it!" But the truth is, he made some mistakes, and given that Rarity made the exact same one (well, the major one; he made some others), that doesn't mean he's automatically a terrible pony. Whatever flaws he has, Trend was never malicious and he doesn't act nearly so bad as Blueblood's first appearance.
Even Blueblood can't be too awful, considering in Sweet and Elite, Rarity christened a zeppelin with him, so she must have forgiven him since then, and vice versa. I think if he was irredeemable, he wouldn't be willing to put aside their differences for anything, since he doesn't have to deal with her if he doesn't want to.
At least we know more about Trend and he's much more interesting than the prince, IMHO. An endearingly dorky hipster boy indeed!
4463096
I bet he gets that a lot. Poor guy introduces everyone else who enters the kingdom that he serves and no one remembers his name. Sounds about right!
4464514
Good point. Trend is the sickly one; not Cheese! I double-checked and the new descriptor works much better.
The autobio could wait then, if you'd rather. Although perhaps Trenderhoof could take some time off to write his autobiography? Maybe that would work. Then he could rest, relax, get some much needed nutrients and vitamins, before inadvertently adding some fuel to Cheese's fire much later, sometime after it was published.
Or work on whatever strikes you. I would love to read that eventually though!
*Grins* Very nicely done, and bravo on giving Flash a bit more personality than he usually has.
I demand an epilogue in which Flash goes to pony heaven and Celestia shows him snapshots of his waffle-stealing life and then turns him into an alicorn
...I laughed harder at this than I should have.
I now officially broship Flash Sentry x Trenderhoof x Cheese Sandwich.
...now, the real question is, how exactly do you start a fire with a potato?
4454373 That should have been a picture of Sweetie Belle.
Flash, you dork!
4466632 PERFECT
4462172 IM NOT ADDING ANYTHING
4464831 .......interesting.......NOW CANON!
4467492
The potato family funeral?
You could always write that. It'd be better than most of the funeral fanfiction he turns up in.
Pinkie can sob alongside him and he can comfort her, but really he's just as torn up inside and leaking all kinds of manly tears while looking unto the heavens, questioning them in their infinite wisdom. Why? Oh the equinity!
4467594 Yea I could but I'm already working on something, probably will come out after the school years done, but then again every time I try to write a grant fic or something 4out of 5 times it comes unfinished and most of time canceled.
plus this is Scoot's fic
4467691
I'm right there with you, in the WiP gutter. It's so hard to climb out of there for some of us!