Big Sis Scootaloo

by Never2muchpinkie

Chapter 21: Towards my dream

Naturally Rose noticed my distraction. I knew she would. It wasn’t really like I could hide my irritation. On the fourth day since asking our mom for advice she came to my room one night. She didn’t look happy. “So what’s going on?” she said, an annoyed tone in her voice. “I’ve been waiting, but you’re breaking your promise again. I gave you some time, but you never came to me for help. I’m not stupid. I can see how out of it you’ve been.”

“I’m not breaking my promise,” I said plainly. “I told you back then that I wouldn’t always be able to tell you everything, but I’d tell you what I could.”

“So what? I can see you’re hurting about something, and I want to know what it is. You think you’re gonna feel better holding everything inside?”

“I already talked with mom about it, Rosie.”

“It’s ROSE! ROSE Blossom, thank you very much. I told you before I’m not a baby!”

I suppressed a laugh but I still felt a smile come to my face. No doubt about it. Rose had definitely developed some attitude. With both me and Rainbow Dash as teachers it was no surprise. She had gotten a bit “smarter” recently. Since she was “grown up” she insisted that I stop calling her Rosie and she had stopped calling me Scootieloo. I kinda hoped it was just a phase, the naturally rebel years of kids, because I still found it way too cute to want it to stop.

“Sorry. Rose Blossom. I have to make a big choice by graduation and it’s bugging me.”

Rosie looked at me with defiance, clearly wanting to push the issue. That expression slowly left her face to be replaced with an uncertain one. “As 'little kid' Rosie I guess I would have to keep asking and bothering you because I’d think I’d have to know everything that was bothering you to help you. But as 'grown-up' Rose Blossom I guess I’m mature enough to know that you’re not always going to come to me for every problem. I guess I should just be… understanding, and accept that you don’t want to tell me. I should just… give you a hug, tell you I love you, and that I’m there for you to support you, even if I don’t know exactly what’s wrong.”

“That would be lovely, Rose.”

She walked over and sat next to me, doing exactly what she said. I had hoped she would sit in my lap, but that was another no-no these days. That was too babyish too, just like sleeping with me at night was.

I held her back, feeling her love and warmth. I still felt so unsure of what to do.

Every day the deadline inched closer, and the more antsy I became over the phenomenal pressure surrounding me. Sad to say, I began snapping at other ponies more often, sometimes for the slightest things. I always felt ashamed afterward and apologized when I realized my mistake.

I finally said to myself I had to make a choice, and make it now. Make it, and commit to it. Otherwise, this was going to drive me insane. I noticed that because of my increased stress and sadness Rose was clinging to me much like she had before when she was younger.

Two weeks before graduation I went to Mom and Dad and gave them my decision. I told them I wasn’t going to do it. I didn’t think Rosie could handle not having me around. I mean... I could always… try to find something else to do… I guess. Scooter related, I mean…

Just like that the pressure evaporated out of me. However, while I thought making the choice would cause all my problems to disappear too that wasn’t the case. I felt like I couldn’t muster up the energy to do anything. I walked around in a daze, everything feeling meaningless to me. I tried to squash the feelings within me, but I was wholly unsuccessful. I couldn’t ride my scooter or train Rosie without thinking about my missed opportunity. I felt so frustrated. I had made my choice! It was the best choice for everyone involved! SO WHY? WHY DID I FEEL THIS WAY?

It was a few nights later when Rosie came to my room again like before. “Scootaloo… can we talk?”

“I guess so,” I said in a bored voice.

“Not here. Come with me.”

I sighed, forcing myself up. She took me outside, flying up to the roof. I couldn’t understand why she wanted to talk on the roof, but then again it wasn’t important. Nothing felt important these days.

She lay down on the roof, me next to her. I put my hooves behind my head and looked up at the stars and moon floating overhead.

“Scootaloo… Mom wanted me to talk to you.”

“Why?” I asked.

“She told me about the choice you were trying to decide on. She told me what you decided… and why you said you decided it.”

I turned a little to her, feeling a pit of… of… I don’t know. I didn’t know really how I felt about it. A pit of something was in my stomach.

She took a really deep breath and asked, “Eleven days until graduation. Are you leaving the same day?”

I looked at her again, fully this time, and said, “I thought Mom told you what I decided.”

“I know. And you decided a lie.”

“How is that a lie?”

“Because you’re unhappy! You’re moping around the house and school and not putting any effort into anything. So you want to try to tell me you think you made the RIGHT choice? I know Mom told you the same thing you tell me when making a choice: follow your heart. I can see where your heart is in this. You WANT to leave and give yourself a real test of your abilities. You’ve given up on surpassing Rainbow Dash at flying, so now you’re just focusing on trying to beat her at what you ARE best at. But you’ve never had anyone to compete with in your OWN field of skill. You've never had someone to compete with in scootering.”

Rosie sat up, curling herself into a ball as she placed her front hooves around her back ones. “I really appreciate that you cared enough about my feelings that you were willing to give up your dream to make me happy, but I can’t accept that. Not if you’re just going to be miserable the rest of your life thinking about it!

"You NEED to do this! If you leave you may find that it’s not as enjoyable as you thought. You may find that your teammates are jerks. You may find you don’t really care for crowds and being a celebrity. You may find that you miss us way too much and want to come home.

"If you go, you may decide you don’t like it and return home. But if you just stay here in Ponyville and don’t give this a shot you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering how your life would be if you went for it. You’ll regret it forever. You’ll become resentful of me for holding you back from your destiny.

“I want you to be happy, Scootaloo. I want to do things to make you smile and laugh and have the most fun of your life. For a long time it was trying to become as good as Rainbow Dash that did it for you. After you beat her in that race you decided family was more important and you began spending more time with us. Now I see where your heart is going.

"If I said I wasn’t going to miss you a ton I’d be lying. It’s going to be lonely around here without you. Still… with the way you’re acting you’re already gone. You’re already not here anymore. You’re acting just like you did when you began having those nightmares of us dying.”

She scrunched up further so her face was on her legs and her voice came out muffled. “Go on! Get out of here! Go fulfill your destiny. I… I don’t need you! I’m grown up now. I can train by myself. You didn’t need a teacher to become as good as you are. With my friends, and Rainbow Dash when she has the time, I will do fine.”

I could hear a shakiness in her voice, and I was pretty sure she was crying. I could tell it was killing her inside to tell me to leave. We had been inseparable for so long.

I didn’t care if she felt too mature for it. I leaned over and picked her up, placing her on my lap facing me as I held her. I held onto her strongly as I began crying. “You’re right, Rosie. This isn’t what I really want. I do want to see what I’m really made of, to compete against the very best of the scooter world… to see if I’m really worth anything against a fellow scooterist. I was mainly holding back simply because of you, and I didn’t get any enjoyment out of that choice. I’ve been chasing a dream since childhood, and it’s finally time to get in the race.”

She was quiet in my hooves. She didn’t fight or assert her independence. I guess she was taking it hard. I was struggling with the thought myself. “I can’t lie, Rosie. You’ll be on my mind every day. I guess just like when Rainbow Dash got her acceptance letter to the Wonderbolts Reserves that it’s beyond personal feelings. No matter how much we don’t want to be apart I have to go. It’s not going to be easy, but it has to be done.”

“Promise me one thing, Scootaloo,” she said quietly.

“Yes, Rosie?”

She looked up at me with a smile, wiping her face of a few tears. “If you’re going to go then I want you to take this all the way! Don’t you dare come home until you’ve kicked the flank of every two-bit scooterist who thinks they’re hot stuff or even thinks they can compare to you. Beat everyone and become the best in the world, Sis!”

I let out a chuckle. “I’ll do my very best to make that a reality. And I’m sorry, Rosie. After all, we got into that fight because I didn’t trust you to be able to handle the truth. In my mind you were weak. If I had come to you back when you first asked, and told you the truth about thinking of going away, a lot of this could have been avoided. I thought for sure you’d insist on me staying so I didn’t want to feel pressured to give in to you.”

“It’s okay! I forgive you.”

I felt energized again in the days leading up to graduation. Rosie was clingier than ever, knowing we only had a limited amount of time before I left town. We left Rock Climber, Sun Glimmer and Honey Drop to their training so I could spend the coming days with my family.

When the day arrived my mind and heart were going in all sorts of directions. I was happy and sad, upset and joyful, scared and excited. I kept going rapidly from one emotion to the next because I knew what was coming the next day.

The ceremony was good. I put on my cap and gown and came up when I was called.

After all the speeches were over me, and our family and friends, headed to Sugarcube Corner to celebrate. I fully participated. After all, this would be my last party in Ponyville for quite a while.

I felt glad to be ending this chapter of my life. Now came the most exciting chapter of all! Or at least I hoped it was.

In the morning I met up with Flame Dust as he instructed. Everyone important to me showed up to send me off: Rainbow Dash, Mom, Dad, Rose Blossom, Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, Twilight, Spike, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rarity, and Pinkie Pie.

When he saw me with my scooter he said, “Oh, you don’t need to bring that. We’re top of the line and will get you a brand new scooter.”

“That is unacceptable,” I said firmly.

“Why is that? Is it pride because you want to pay for it yourself? You’ll make up for it in other ways."

I shook my head. “It’s not about pride over accepting charity. I have no doubt you could provide me with a scooter that’s ten times more expensive and sturdy than this one. However, I’m going forward with this scooter, or I’m not going at all.”

A look of confusion came to his face. “Why is it an issue?”

“This scooter was given to me on my birthday, the very first one after I lost my grandmare. Before that I rode my old scooter, the one she gave me, every day. Every single one of the ponies you see behind me chipped in to get this for me.” I patted my scooter lovingly. “Before they gave it to me I was told that each of them contributed to it and put their heart into it. That has been what allowed me to excel, because I believe a piece of my family is with me everywhere I go.

“If you want to see my very best I’ll accept no other vehicle. I’d never perform as well with a scooter devoid of love. This gift means a lot to me, so it’s the only one I want to ride. With this I’ll perform to my utmost and I’ll succeed always. I’ll be better than anyone else, because the strength and courage and power and love from my family and friends will always be with me no matter how far apart we are, and that is a bond I don’t ever want to lose or break.”

I saw a tear come down Flame Dust’s eye. “I see. I understand now. Keep it then.”

“Thank you.”

Rainbow Dash came up to me and hugged me. “So you’re really leaving, huh?”

“Yeah. But I’ll be back some day. Watch over the kids for me.”

“I will.”

I let out a small laugh. Trying to adopt a cocky attitude I said, “Going to a group called the 'Wonderbolts of the ground?' I guess I beat you again. How long did it take you to become a Wonderbolt again?”

She let out a small laugh too. Just like me her heart wasn’t in it. “I’ll miss you, kid. Make me proud. Don’t you dare lose to anyone!”

I hugged everyone, thanking them for their help and support, leaving Rose Blossom for last.

“This is goodbye for now, Rose.”

She was acting nonchalant and aloof. She gave me a small hug with a single hoof. “There, you happy? Now quit your stalling and get out of here. Your destiny awaits!”

“Oh, no!” I said, feeling a sudden happiness go through me. “You’re not getting out of it that easy!” I grabbed her and flew up into the sky, hugging her tightly and spinning around. "You're going to hug me whether you want to or not!"

I saw her struggle not to laugh as I placed her back on the ground. “Don’t do that! I told you I’m not a baby! Don’t be doing sappy stuff like that in public!”

The big tough girl act again. “Okay, Rosie… sorry. Rose. Rose Blossom. I’ll see you around, kid. Do your best and become stronger. Surprise me when I come back.”

I ruffled her mane a bit and began walking away towards Flame Dust. I let out a small sigh. This was what I wanted… didn’t stop me from being a little scared. But I knew I could handle it.

I grabbed my scooter from against a tree. “Goodbye, everyone!”

Getting on my scooter I kicked off, laughing to myself. I just hope my excitement lasted. I knew I was going to be missing my family before long.

I had only gone about a thousand feet when I heard it: a voice calling my name.

I put my hoof out to slow myself and turned to see Rosie flying towards me. “Wait!” she yelled. "Scootieloo, wait!"

She nearly knocked me to the ground as she flew into me. I looked down and saw tears streaming down her eyes. “I… I promised myself I wouldn’t cry. I promised I wasn’t going to cry until you left because I didn’t want you to have second thoughts. B-but… but…” Her eyes clenched shut. “But I’m gonna miss you so much, Scootieloo! I love you, Scootieloo! I’m not too grown-up yet. I’m sorry for acting like a brat! You can call me Rosie if you want! Be-because you’ll always be Scootieloo to me!”

She began bawling in my chest as I started crying too. I put my hooves around her and let myself go. “I’m gonna miss you too… little Rosie. I love you so much. That’s why I have to go. So you’ll have a big sister worth bragging about. If I stay here all I’ll be teaching you to do is give up on your dreams and not to care about what’s important to you.”

“I love you, Scootieloo!”

“I love you too, Rosie! Forever and ever! Thank you for everything. I never would have come this far without you by my side.”

The two of us just held each other, the only things in each other’s worlds at the moment, and bawled like babies. I prolonged it as long as possible, wishing the world would stop at that moment so I would never have to let her go.

When I finally composed myself I let her go, sniffing. I didn’t want to hold off any longer. If I didn’t go right now I was sure I wouldn’t be able to make myself leave. Grabbing my scooter I zoomed off as fast as I could, forcing myself to leave what I knew behind for the sake of my own dream. A part of me wanted to turn around, to give Rose one more hug… one more kiss. But I ignored it. I had to ignore it… no matter how much I wanted to just turn around and forget the whole thing.

Author's Note:

No, this is not the ending. One more chapter and the epilogue left. =)

Comments

[Never2muchpinkie]

4630587

I put that in there in the first sentence precisely to let you know the viewpoint. Why is you inflicting self-amnesia on words?

So it's almost the end. Are you excited for it? I'm sure you can guess some what;s going to happen. I'm planning on ending things with a bang and a Dawww.

I'm kinda glad I'm gonna be done with this one. It's come out so long. But I do what I do to satisfy my hungry readers. I don't know if you felt the time skip came out of nowhere but I wanted to move on. I didn't really have anything else to do with everyone as they were. The last two chapters are from Rose's point of view.

[Rose Quartz]

Aw how sweet

[Never2muchpinkie]

4631375 One chapter to go! It's been an adventure...almost literally. This story has just passed the original story in length.

The last chapter ends things with a bang and a DAWW.

[Kenshinryuu]

I love Scootaloo saying just why she's going to stick to her current scooter, it's so a piece of everyone will be there with her wherever she goes!