Prances with Ponies

by Typewrittensoul

Chapter 5 (side A): Fandango

Entry 46

It was a bit anticlimactic, but suddenly there's someone here who I can now talk to. Of course, there's been a few inconsistencies with his grammar and word structure, almost like a little Yakov Smirnoff but nonetheless he's been able to communicate with me.

For example, he kept saying how it sucked that I was stuck in “boo” the whole time. It took me maybe the third or fourth time to realize he was saying “bed”.

However, thanks to Spark's (who's actually a dragon and not a dinosaur named Barney) help, I will make an immense number of changes to my notes.

First off, the names of the ponies I've met:

Second:

As expected of a structure society, I'm apparently in the land of “Equestria”—which makes sense since ponies are apparently the dominant species here—but from what Spark's told me, other kinds of animals and creatures are inhabitants and not only that, are also sentient. Futtershee lives just outside of a small town called Pony Village—again, suspiciously appropriate given the inhabitants.

And apparently there are a number of other cities and towns all throughout Equestria, a kingdom (though led by a princess). This adds to the main role the princess in Pea—no, Futtershee's books since this is a matriarchal society. It was a bit harder for me to inquire more about the social structure beyond the roles of the townsponies since Spark wasn't able to figure out the technical terms or vocabulary. I have a few theories as to why this might be the case, and I've decided to try to introduce as many words and terms to Spark to help him brush up on English. Twilly seems to endorse a similar view as she is a student, herself. A student of the princess, no less.

Third:

Just as I came up with placement names for the ponies, apparently the ponies gave me a name: Dewey. Spark tried to explain the reason for the name, but he seemed just as confused as I was.

Something about being a pair, and then a duo? I don't know...pretty convoluted and nonsensical to me, but I'd never say that out loud. Lucky for me Spark's language abilities don't cross over well into reading as it does in speaking, so I can still write what I want without needing to censor myself.

I've tried a number of times to explain that my name is Kevin Costern. And every time, for some reason they get it wrong and call me something to the sound of “Andrew Shepard”. Whatever, I'll just let them call me Dewey since it's easier that way.

Fourth and most striking of all:

Magic is apparently real.

What I thought was simply the telekinetic ability of unicorns, by way of observing Twilly and Raraty, is apparently what the ponies consider “magic”. In fact, Twilly actually went to the princess' magic school for gifted unicorns. She displayed an ability to teleport from one spot to another on a number of occasion and did all manners of things that went against what limited high school physics I knew such as conservation of matter and properties of light. It's beyond my field to figure out if it's possible or if this land of Equestria is actually a place where the laws of physics are subtly different than my own. I tried to write down and explain what equations and properties I knew, but unfortunately I think it was lost from Spark's difficulty to translate between me and the purple pony.

I'm just glad that I didn't implode or explode upon arrival because of potential differences in reality.

---

Entry 48

Our mutual difficulty of each others' cultures has proven to be a significant enough of an obstacle at times whenever I try to say something and apparently doesn't exist in Equestria. For example, things like television and the internet. Arcade games apparently exist, and so do x-ray machines, but neither Spark on the count he simply doesn't know nor Twilly who doesn't have much an interest in technology as she does with magic, is able to explain the development tree that led to Equestria's current level in technology. Magic seems to have taken up a number of roles that aggrandized its importance and pegasi seem to have the ability to manipulate weather. A much different—and unexpected—form of magic altogether.

The other ponies have largely been absent because of, well, they have their own lives to tend to. Futtershee seems to have gotten busy and disappears to take care of the animals whenever Twilly and Spark come to visit, which has been pretty often lately.

---

Entry 51

Even though I'm really appreciative of what he's done, I don't want to depend on him forever. It's just been a relief to speak without having to play charades, albeit every conversation is a bit difficult what with Spark's broken English.

During one of our research sessions I tried bringing up to Twilly that it's perhaps because Spark is a dragon that he can understand me.

Much to his disappointment as he translated her response to me, she apparently doubted my hypothesis. Though then again not much was really known about dragons by ponies. But from what I can tell, Spark is also a very intelligent individual. Not necessarily book smart or the quickest in terms of wit, but it's amazing to think that he's only a baby. The growth rates for a dragon is something no one seemed to be aware of. In addition, the fact that he's been effectively assisting Twilly since he was hatched may also be due to the fact that he has a highly developed memory. I can't say for certain if dragons are simply gifted with verbal cognition abilities, since apparently most every creature that speaks does so in a way that everyone can understand. Again, going back to my observation that non-verbal speech plays a much greater role with ponies than it does with humans.

Again, it's just a hypothesis, of course, but Spark seems to enjoy the notion immensely.

---

Entry 63

The ponies have gotten a bit more curious about my journal. With Spark's help, I explained a bit what it was I had been writing, about my observations of Equestria and such. Did my best to convey how I was interested in the way societies functioned, as well as history and culture in general. This seemed to intrigue Twilly and some of the other ponies who asked me things about humans and such. Though he tried, Spark didn't seem to have the same proficiency to read as he does to understand what I say, but I'm sort of glad that no one will know some of the more blunt things I've written down.

When she saw my terrible drawing of a pegasus feather in my journal, Futtershee eagerly plucked out one of her feathers as a sample to keep. Rainbow, not so much. I really appreciate that. And of course, in case I ever found myself around a river again, I tucked her feather under the leather cover of my journal.

Entry 64

In exchange for the information about Equestria and ponies, as well as some help translating a few of the books that have been sitting around for the past few days and weeks, I volunteered to take part in Twilly's experiments on me and Spark. Essentially it's just work on a translation spell so we don't have to rely on Spark.

But it needs a lot of work.

For example, just today during a trial, Twilly managed to translate her speech into French. I only took it in high school and even though I wouldn't say that I was one of the best of speakers, I sure as heck was able to recognize it. What was eerie was how her mouth movements were completely out of synch with pattern of what she was saying. Like watching an internet video that lagged or a dub of a foreign movie. It also wore off in about fifteen minutes, but it mind boggling how fast she was able to craft a spell like that.

But then again, I have a little surprise of my own that I've been working on these past few weeks...

Comments

[nonameguy0010]

lololololol Boogaloo and Sweepie Bot.

[Bongo]

Boogaloo or bugalú (also, shing-a-ling, Latin boogaloo, Latin R&B) is a genre of Latin music and dance that was popular in the United States in the 1960s.

Thank you. Now the image of Sweetie Belle doing a shuffle is now stuck in my head...

[Menoshe]

That's what I call a rough translation.

[AlgaeNymph]

"Andrew Shepard." I see what you did there.

[Andrew Joshua Talon]

Thanks for the shoutout! And good chapter!

[p0nypanda]

Hehe, sweetie bot reference.

[Sir Walter Hairgel]

Ranbow Dish? Haha.
No wait even better...

RanBOOB! XD

[Eonflare]

You and your cliffhangers. Why do writers like these so much?
He Spark, much better name than the last one.

[wlam]

God, the names are hilarious. "Sweepie Bot."

[king furgo]

applejark. applejark, just let that sink in. he thinks her name is applejark.

[SirShadestrider]

7963216 Is that really any worse than Ranbow Dish or Twilly Spackle?

[Shadow Star]

seems all the images in the fic are broken.
Fix!

[Green121]

I've tried a number of times to explain that my name is Kevin Costern. And every time, for some reason they get it wrong and call me something to the sound of “Andrew Shepard”. Whatever, I'll just let them call me Dewey since it's easier that way.

Bruh