Prances with Ponies

by Typewrittensoul

Chapter 7 (side A): Testament

And finally, to Kevin.

I know it's not a matter of "if" but "when" you manage to read this.

I mean, you always seemed to get into my things and pretend that they were yours in the first place, complaining to mom and dad whenever I got them back from you.

I can't remember how many times I tried to teach you that you shouldn't just cry and expect things to go your way. That you shouldn't wait for others to help you.

Do you remember when you finally stopped crying and did something for yourself? By the way, your sucker punch was weak as hell, but that was the strongest you ever managed to hit me. And since.

You're just a kid now, but you need to realize sooner rather than later that life is tough. That most people don't care about you unless you can help them benefit. Or they simply want to see you fail as though it makes their lack of success sting less. There are those people that want to help you but they can only help you...not do things for you. There will also be other people who are just like you, even when you're my age, not knowing what direction they want to go in life. Right now it's not such a problem, but you need to have some ideas and try as many as you can to see what you want to do before it's too late. Some will be helped while others will be taken advantage of. I just don't want you to take a chance at becoming that last type of person.

I'm sorry that I wasn't more upfront with you about why I treated you the way I did. I wanted you to become stronger and more independent. I see how mom and dad are always brushing you off and I tried to talk to them about it but...still, I should have been less of a dick to you. I think I get that from mom. If something doesn't go my way I become stubborn and push others around. You're more sensitive like dad, always trying to do things in a way without upsetting other people, but he realized from an early age that he had to grow a tough skin and work hard. And that sometimes didn't sit well with others.

I've told you over and over again how it was my pet peeve, but...I'm sorry for making a promise with you that I couldn't keep. It doesn't matter what the intentions are, but the failure to produce a result on time is still a failure. Whether you get in trouble for it or not. Keep that in mind when you're in college and you have assignments and papers due. It's definitely not like in middle or high school where the teachers pretty much accept assignments with points taken off. There's been a few students in some of my classes who failed the entire course because they didn't hand in an assignment on time.

I'm also sorry we never got to hang out as much as you wanted. I always got you doing things I wanted you to do, and never tried out the stuff you're interested in. I'm sorry for acting like mom and dad and treating you like a kid that doesn't know anything, bossing you to do something because it's "good for you". I'm sorry I never spoke out whenever they wondered out loud why you weren't more like me. That's not fair and really, it's just messed up. I don't need my degree to say that.

I'm sorry I never said that I love you, little bro. That everything I said or did wasn't because I wanted you to cry or feel bad. I wish I was a better big brother for you...

Comments

[Chill Mists(Chilly)]

What?

[N00813]

674826

It's part of the diary he found back in his old campsite.

[Vates Despero]

674880 It' glaringly obvious that that was NOT his campsite but his brother's.

[Eonflare]

Oh dear.

[Shoeshoe]

Is... is this a suicide note?