Chapter 63: Theories And Solutions
Twilight Sparkle had a problem.
Actually, she had several problems, most of them involving the two mares back at her library. But she had a more pressing problem at the forefront of her mind.
It was a fairly simple thing by comparison, and should have had an easy solution: She needed a piece of furniture. The problem was that she knew of only one shop in town that offered furniture. It was the same place she went to for her quills. Suffice it to say, she had a good relationship with the owner.
“I’m very sorry, Twilight,” Davenport said, shaking his head. “We only sell quills and sofas here.”
“But... how can you maintain a business that sells only two types of merchandise?” Twilight asked in disbelief. “I mean, I figured those were your staples, but hasn’t it ever occurred to you to diversify?”
“I haven’t needed to,” he replied simply. “I’m very, very good at selling sofas, and the rate at which you buy quills in bulk is almost enough to pay for my retirement by itself.”
“But I don’t need a sofa, I need a tanning chair.” Twilight countered.
“Sofas are excellent furniture for lounging indoors or out!” he answered promptly. “Let me show you some models...”
Some time later, she left the shop without her sunchair, but with a new appreciation for the versatility of sofas, and a fresh gross of quills on order for delivery to her library.
She had occasion to lament for what may have been the tenth time that morning that she’d grown so accustomed to her number one assistant’s help with mundane tasks like shopping. She knew where to shop for food, but didn’t know where she was meant to find other things. Did Ponyville just have a carpenter that made the various tables and chairs for everypony? Or were they imported from Manehattan and Canterlot?
She blinked owlishly in the bright light, wondering if she could find sunglasses wherever she ended up finding the sunchair. They were related items, after all... Then again, Quills and Sofas proved that such simple logic didn’t necessarily apply to shops in Ponyville.
She amended her thought to include most any shop in Equestria after remembering a small shop she’d gone to when she was young. It had only sold taffy and carriage wheels. It had gone under after she’d moved to Ponyville, so perhaps there was a correlation between her living area and such shops existing. More research was clearly required.
Making her way to the marketplace, she found a veritable plethora of different foodstuffs that made her stomach rumble, but no sun chairs. Thankfully, she did find a shop that sold sunglasses. Sadly, it only sold sunglasses, and the fellow selling them had only shrugs to offer when asked about tanning chairs, though he did ask her if she was interested in some lemonade. He didn’t seem to be selling that, odd as it was. He just thought she looked thirsty.
Sipping at her lemonade, she started to question herself after randomly wandering the town for about an hour, having no idea where she was going and finding ever stranger combinations for shops to be selling. Was the market was just big enough that two items kept everypony afloat? Perhaps it was worth looking into. She mulled the thought over before shaking her head.
The princess had asked for a nice sunny spot to read in, and Twilight intended to help with that in whatever way she could. Twilight herself normally just read out on the balcony when she wanted sun, but she wasn’t comfortable suggesting that Princess Celestia do that. And besides, if she got the princess a sunchair she could also get her a tanning mirror which would very slightly increase her sun intake thus speeding up her recovery—
The recovery she didn’t want to speed up. It would speed that up.
Twilight, you’re messing up again. What is wrong with you?
She stopped in her tracks, which was likely for the best because she’d long since lost track of where she was going. Fortunately Ponyville was not a very large town, and she lived in a giant tree library visible from nearly anywhere within miles of it, so finding her way home wouldn’t prove difficult.
It had seemed like a good plan... But if the princess didn’t want to get better quicker, she wouldn’t be helping her this way.
She heaved out a great sigh, shaking her head. Even thinking about the Princess was making her brain feel sluggish. It wasn't helping at all that in her weakened state Celestia looked less like the immaculate being Twilight had always worshipped from afar, and more... like a pony.
That felt... disrespectful, somehow, almost like she was seeing the princess naked or something. That, of course, made her think of one of the few times she’d actually seen the Princess naked.
It had been entirely innocent at the time, she’d come to ask the princess a question, and the princess had been stepping out of her bathroom after finishing a bath, wearing nothing but a towel of course, as she did not bathe in her regalia.
Thinking back, the towel had covered more than Celestia’s regalia normally did, but it was the impropriety of it that had made it titillating. It had been just one more embarrassing memory that had been added to the pile of similar memories for young Twilight to obsess over, not really very important. But now her mind unhelpfully envisioned that same Celestia walking towards her with wings wide, allowing the towel to fall as a blush emblazoned itself on her cheeks, reaching down to kiss her—
Oh gosh, that isn’t helping either.
It was very difficult for her to get past that feeling. Last night had helped, a little, but it had been easier for her to cope with the idea of kissing the Princess when it was in the context of having the kiss passed by transference to Pinkie, as nonsensical as that was after the fact.
She was still having trouble even grasping the idea that Princess Celestia had feelings for her. It felt too huge. She sat down on a bench just to the side of the road, and tried to think of the problem in slightly more manageable chunks.
She had kissed the princess. That was a verifiable fact. She’d felt those lips pressed to her own, for the brief moment before she’d fled in terror. As impossible as such an occurrence might have seemed to a younger, heartbroken Twilight, it had happened.
She got past that line of thought, somehow.
More difficult to process was the fact that the princess had kissed her. And it hadn’t been a chaste kiss, either. Twilight had done a lot of kissing of late, (even if most of it had been while pretending she was somepony else) and she knew what a passionate kiss felt like.
She’d come to terms with her own feelings for the princess so long ago, had buried those feelings safely away where they couldn’t hurt her anymore. Now they were out in the open again, and with them came all the insecurities she’d tried to bury with them.
Try as she might, she couldn’t come to terms with those. She’d tried to cope by helping the princess recover as fast as possible, so Celestia could return to Canterlot and life could regain just a little normalcy. But the princess... didn’t want that. She wanted time to rest.
Twilight wanted some time to rest, too. The last week had been some of the most emotionally traumatic and draining events of her young life, and she would have loved a little time to recover. But she had no idea how to tell Princess Celestia that without sounding like a petulant little filly whining about her own problems while the Princess was taking a rest likely centuries overdue.
And then, on top of the insurmountable mountain of problems Twilight was having trouble coping with, there was the Pinkie Problem.
Twilight was a little naive at times (even she knew that), but she could tell that Pinkie was bothered by something. The problem (as was often the case) was finding out from Pinkie what that was.
Directly questioning Pinkie about such things often proved fruitless. The answers were always immediately forthcoming, but rarely helpful. Pinkie’s thought processes were fascinatingly incomprehensible at times, especially when it came to feelings.
Twilight was absolutely certain that the problem, whatever it was, lay with her. Her earlier theories about being the cause of Pinkie’s lack of happiness were only further substantiated by continued observation. The problem had been in her attempted solution, as absenting herself had only caused further distress, for both of them.
She’d managed to piece together a working theory, even if it was incomplete. Part of what was bothering Pinkie seemed to be related to a promise Celestia had made to her. She’d been flabbergasted by that exchange, as the idea of Pinkie needing help to make her smile was... very odd.
Pinkie had also mentioned needing more ‘Twilight time’ on the way back home from Canterlot, and while she wasn’t certain how much of her own feelings went into the character of ‘Mina’, the complaint of needing the ‘Captain’s touch’ seemed to indicate that... Pinkie missed Twilight, despite the fact that they were spending a lot of time together.
That might have less to do with the time they were spending together and more to do with what was being done in that time, actually. The last week or so had been... emotionally draining for both of them, and Twilight hadn’t really been focused on Pinkie very much.
I’ve been too focused on trying to ‘fix’ Celestia… Twilight thought with slowly dawning dread. She pressed a hoof to her forehead, trying to stave off a coming headache. Good intentions or not, she’d managed to ignore Pinkie for the most part while fixating on the idea that Celestia’s weakened state was a problem that she needed to solve instead of simply something that would resolve itself with time and rest.
And it had taken both of them to convince her otherwise. Or rather, it had taken Celestia, and ‘Mina’.
She’d never experienced that with Pinkie before. They didn’t talk very much while in character. A few words, a wink, a sly smile... it was largely body language. And bodies against bodies. Being scolded by ‘Mina’ was confounding, but also elucidating.
In just a few moments, ‘Mina’ had told her more about Pinkie’s state of mind than Pinkie herself had revealed in the entire time they’d been dating. It was insanely illogical, but somehow fit perfectly. ‘Mina’ could say things that Pinkie could not. Just as ‘Captain Sparkle’ could do things that Twilight was too ashamed to do.
Perhaps ‘Mina’ would tell her more, if asked.
She got up, looking at her home spreading its branches in the distance. There was no way to know for sure if her plan was going to work, but she’d already tried the most obvious solution to the Pinkie Problem, and it had failed horribly. She needed more data to find a more reliable one.
She’d find a way, somehow. There had to be some way to make Pinkie as happy as she made Twilight.
“Take a pamphlet from the guard to the right, it will explain everything.” Midnight Oil said, exhaustion threatening to make him collapse. “Next.”
A timid looking stallion with an open book cutiemark stepped forward. “Excuse me, I was given to understand that one of the princesses would be in attendance—”
“Princess Celestia has entrusted me to act as her Voice for the interim of her recovery. I am running Court in her stead. Do you have a concern that hasn’t been addressed by the announcements and reading material we’ve passed out while you waited to be seen?”
“Well... the sun hasn’t moved in hours—
“We are aware of the phenomenon. Unfortunately, Princess Luna is not available at this time to comment, as she is indisposed with personal business.” Midnight gestured to a guard to his side, at the ready with the various supplementary material that had been prepared for the more stubborn supplicants. “Feel free to read over our prepared statement, we assure you more information will be provided once we have it available.”
“Well, that’s fine, I suppose. Will she be screaming at us again? I don’t know if my heart can take that.”
“I’ll address your concern with Her Highness when she returns. In the meantime, it may be wise to invest in a pair of earmuffs.”
“All right, then. I thank you, sir,” the stallion bowed deeply before turning to exit the Court.
“Attention all supplicants,” a stallion’s voice boomed throughout the hall. “Court will be taking a recess soon. We would ask that those of you here for any sun-related concerns have patience, as we have little information beyond what we’ve provided to you. For those with other concerns, please remain behind and we will attempt to answer them—”
Midnight allowed himself to sag in the throne, happy to see that all of the ponies waiting outside the courtroom seemed to be filtering away. His entire morning had been like this, and if he hadn’t immediately recognized what had happened and the best way to assuage the fears of the thousands that had flocked to the castle, it might have been worse. As it was, the guards had been forced to break up several arguments in the lines, most of them involving donut allocation.
Donut Joe himself had proved himself a lifesaver, as he’d simply donated a large shipment of baked goods in exchange for being mentioned to the announcements. Midnight suspected Joe’s business to thrive even more after today, as ponies tended towards comfort foods during a crisis.
“That seems to be all of them,” the guard said after closing the large oaken doors.
Midnight squinted for a moment, trying to recall the stallion’s name.
Bulwark, that’s it.
“Errr, thank you...” he hesitated, as he couldn’t remember the rank either, but was saved by a quick flash of the gold buttons on the collar of Bulwark’s uniform. “Captain Bulwark, you and yours have done wonderfully.”
“Only our duty, Midnight.”
“Yes, well, good work, regardless. I’ll be in my chambers. Need to try to get some rest...” he yawned, flushing with embarrassment, “Forgive me. I haven’t gotten much more than naps for a few days now.”
“I’ll post two guards on your door to ensure you’re not disturbed.”
Midnight nodded earnestly, then ruefully shook his head. “Well, I’ll amend that for our Princess Luna, when she returns. I’ll want to speak with her immediately.”
The captain nodded stiffly, but in an undertone, asked: “Midnight, do you have any idea where she’s gone? She slipped both of her guards and nopony in the city has seen her, save for one lone report of a dark shadow being spotted moving through the lower levels at high speed, and I don’t know if I trust that maid to not be spreading rumors for attention.”
In the same undertone, Midnight replied: “I know she was planning to visit some friends of hers. Beyond that, you know more than I do. But I do think she’ll come to me first. You know how she is.”
Bulwark’s almost immaculate poker face cracked into a small scowl. “I do. I’m not certain how I can ensure her safety if she keeps leaving her guards behind.”
Midnight laughed very lightly. “Say rather ‘how you can ensure the safety of anypony who might stand in her way’ captain. I’ll make sure your guards get word to you once I hear more.”
Bulwark snapped off a quick salute. “Very well, Midnight. I await further reports.”
Midnight got up from the throne, slowly stretching out his aching legs, stiffened by sitting still in the same position for hours. As he exited the Court, he was immediately flanked in smooth precision by a pair of guards, keeping a respectful distance from him, but ready to dissuade any random pony who might try to waylay him on his way to his chambers.
He nodded to them gratefully, inwardly slightly perturbed. The idea of a pony such as himself needing an escort was very odd, even if he did recognize the need.
Arriving at his chambers, he bid the guards thanks for their efforts, closing the door behind him with heavy exhalation. For the next several hours, he could get some sleep, and pretend that he wasn’t supposed to be ruling a country while its true sovereigns were attending to other business. With any luck, Luna would return before it was time to hold Night Court, thus relieving him of the need to cover it himself, but he wasn’t taking that for granted. As it was, he still had day court to finish, but at least he had time for a nap while everypony else had lunch.
He fell into his bed face-first, not bothering to remove his jacket or shoes. Hopefully, the world could get along without him long enough for him to finish Day Court, then to get a solid six or seven hours before he had to get up again for Night Court. Hopefully, Luna would get the sun and moon sorted out in that time as well.
It was good to have hopes. It kept a pony sane.
The sun still shone brightly through his window, and he tiredly lifted his head long enough to pull his curtains closed with his magic. He wondered if he would even dream in his current state, but not for very long.
After having breakfast with Fancy and Fleur, Luna was at last ready to say her goodbyes to her friends.
Or rather, she would be, once she retrieved her regalia from Fleur.
“Ç'est dommage.” Fleur said, smiling playfully as she shed the hoofguards one by one, followed by the crown and chestplate. “These shoes are quite comfortable, ma petite.”
“They are, yes.” Luna replied, smiling just as playfully. “I could have some made for you, if you wish.”
Fleur considered for a long moment, then shook her head. “Non. I prefer yours, I think.”
Luna just shook her own head in response, unable to even be upset despite the blatant disrespect being shown to her. In another time, this mare would have been her favored courtesan, kept in luxury and waited on for every little whim. As it was, she was grateful to have found such a dear friend in the current day and age.
“Come back soon, ma cher.” Fleur said as she stepped forward, wrapping her arms around Luna’s neck. “Our home is yours, whenever you wish.”
“Quite.” Fancy said from the other side of the room. “Next time perhaps we could discuss this whole roadwork fiasco. But I imagine you’ll be explaining the mixup with the sun for a day or so at least.”
Luna just looked at him expectantly, and when he didn’t budge she marched over to him and hugged him. “Must We demand your embrace even for goodbyes?” she asked in a whisper.
“Apologies. This development is going to take some getting used to.” he whispered back.
“The best way to become used to such a thing is to throw one’s self into it.” Luna said, kissing him on the cheek. “I will return, and I will feel what it is to be held by both of my dear friends.”
“We’ll look forward to it.” he replied with a little smile. “In the meantime, I’ll wish you luck with Court.”
“Would that luck had any bearing on the outcome.” Luna replied, heaving a great sigh. “Our citizens tend towards panic as a first reaction. In any case, I thank you both for this visit. I very much needed it.”
She skipped back to Fleur, lay one final kiss upon her cheek, then dissolved into mist and fled the room before she changed her mind.
The trip back to the castle was a nerve-wracking one. The sun was still at midday position, and shadows were scarce. As much as she could have just moved openly, she did not wish anypony to be able to trace her movements back to the private bedchambers of Fancy’s home. Once she was safely away from its vicinity, however, she sacrificed stealth for speed, moving at the speed of darkness in a direct path to her balcony.
She rematerialized in her own bedchamber, briefly checking herself to make certain she was presentable, then strode out of her bedroom door, startling the two guards posted outside.
“Princess!” One of them exclaimed, snapping to attention. He was one of the Day Guards, Luna had not yet had a chance to learn their names, as she only interacted with them briefly when her own guards retired for the morning.
The other followed the example of the first quickly enough, though she did briefly consider having a talk with his superior over the laxness being displayed. It would have to wait in any case.
“At ease, faithful guards.” she said in a calm and measured tone.
The first guard to have addressed her hesitated, then said: “Princess, the sun—”
“We are aware. T’will be corrected in time.” Luna replied, her mouth quirking up into a very small grimace. Guards had not spoken out of turn before her banishment. Perhaps it was time for a review of discipline policies in the modern age.
The other guard shot the first a warning look. “Forgive us, Princess. Do you require an escort?”
“No, but We thank thee for thy diligence.”
She left them, walking down the stairs of her tower with an air of supreme regalacy. She only paused briefly when she heard the distinctive sound of one guard cuffing the other one.
Perhaps discipline still exists after all.
She walked the halls of the castle, stopping briefly to acknowledge any of the staff or guards as she passed, and wondering how Celestia had ever survived if she couldn’t get away for a night without setting off a panic. She understood, to a degree, as the sun being moved along so quickly was likely disconcerting, but ponies seemed to be treating it as an extremely unnatural event. To her relief, it seemed panic was not as widespread as it might have been, thanks to Middy. Given how much he’d done for his country of late, she wondered if she might just have to double or even triple his salary in thanks.
Best confer with Celestia first. I suspect she’ll be in favor of it, but I’d hate to cause problems with other staff members over wage disparity.
At the very least, she intended to erect a new statue in his honor when he finally passed. She fervently hoped that day would be several decades hence.
She arrived at Middy’s chambers, nodding to the two guards on duty.
“Princess!” they both said in unison, snapping identical salutes.
“I need to see Midnight. Is he in his suite?”
They hesitated only a moment before one of them hastily rapped a hoof on his door.
A barely-audible groan could be heard from inside.
“Midnight Oil, Princess Luna has returned. Shall we send her in?”
Luna opened her mouth to protest for the briefest of moments before closing it. As Celestia’s representative, Midnight did actually warrant consideration on par with her own sister. This represented an instance of the guard doing exactly what they should be doing. She waited patiently, wearing a little smile as she did so.
There was a moment or two in which she heard stumbling and quiet cursing coming from inside, then the door cracked open. Midnight poked his head out, blinking in the light, and beckoned her inside.
He yawned mightily, closing the door behind her. “Forgive me, Princess. I wasn’t sure when to expect you.” he swayed very slightly as he made his way to a coffee pot.
Luna swiftly applied a small counterforce with her magic to rebalance him, and such was his fatigue that he didn’t even seem to notice. “Midnight, did I wake you?”
“Hmmm?” he turned his head back to face her, his cup overflowing as he continued to pour into it without watching. “Oh, no, Princess. I hadn’t properly fallen asleep yet. Too much to do.”
“So I heard.” Luna replied, taking the coffee pot from him before he poured it all over the floor. “Sit down, Midnight. I’ll need a briefing.”
He sat, yawning again, and took a sip of coffee, grimacing and looking down at it balefully. “Too much sugar. Well... where to begin...” he glanced at the window, opening the blinds just enough to let sunlight in. “Is the sun going to stay like this all day?”
Luna cringed inwardly. “It will correct itself in time. I had planned to keep it where it was until it was well past lunch, and then set it back in motion, but it seems to be a little balky with me. I’ll try nudging it again in a little while. I don’t want to risk an early night.”
Middy stared at her for a long moment. “Is this something we can expect to repeat?” he asked very quietly.
“I don’t believe so.” Luna replied, looking away from the window. “The sun is usually very well behaved, but it needs discipline, and a gentle touch. I... I overdid the rise in my haste, and now it’s gotten excited being so high in the sky. It doesn’t seem to want to move from there. But it will tire eventually.”
There was another long pause, during which Middy took another sip of his coffee, grimaced again, and set it firmly down. “I see. You’ll forgive then, if I ask somepony to wake you to prevent further incidents.”
“I don’t think it will be a problem, Middy. Last night was a special case.”
He sighed wearily. “Yes... I do hope your visit went well. I would very much like it if you could get a message to me if you’re going to miss court, in the future.”
“I...” she blushed, looking away from him. “Middy, I am so sorry. I had every intention of returning by nightfall.”
“You don’t need to explain, Princess.” Middy replied, yawning again. “I only ask that you be more accountable. When something goes wrong, your people panic, and they need to be reassured that things will be made right again. We’re going to need to do a press release tomorrow, to do just that.”
Her ears wilted as she heard his words. “Must we? Those fools—”
“—won’t be present.” he said, cutting off her attempted protests. “We have only bright-eyed and hopeful former interns in the Press Corps now. It will be fine, I promise you.”
Luna closed her mouth, a grin growing on her face. “Middy, how do you feel about yachting?”
When no immediate answer came, she looked at him curiously, and found him slumped forward in the chair, quietly snoring.
“Middy?” she whispered, gently lifting one of his hooves in her magic.
He continued to slumber.
Her mouth quirked up in annoyance, as she had meant to further talk and plan with him. But it seemed such was not to be for now. She lifted him bodily, carrying him to the bed and laying him upon it. That done, she made her way over to his desk, collecting the docket for Night Court, and his schedule for the following day.
He had scheduled the Press Corps to convene the following morning for a statement on the oddities of the sun today. She felt confident that she could take care of that in his stead, since she was the only pony who could explain it. Apparently there was further deliberations necessary for the embezzler, she was actively interested in that. Nothing looked terribly difficult for the Night Court schedule either.
“Rest well, Midnight.” she whispered, pulling the shades closed with her magic as she left the room quietly.
The guards were still outside waiting, and Luna nodded to them in approval. Not all of the guards were undisciplined louts. “Please see to it that he is not disturbed until the morrow. He needs his rest. The remainder of Day Court is cancelled, unless something needs my immediate attention.”
They said nothing, simply snapping a salute.
She smiled as she turned, making her way back to her tower. Middy had earned a long rest. She would be prepared for Night Court, and for the Day Court to follow. But while she prepared, she had to begin to set things back in order.
With the smallest effort, she gave the sun a little push, and to her delight, it seemed that it had grown tired of fighting her and began its slow descent into afternoon.
Celestia regarded the innocently smiling face behind the tray of pancakes with trepidation.
She wasn’t a pony normally at a loss for words, but here she was, in front of Pinkie, wanting badly to say something that would excuse her reaction during the previous night, and not finding those words at all.
“Do you want syrup, jam, or both?” Pinkie asked as she plopped the tray down on the table. Dish after dish was uncovered next to the steaming stack of pancakes. “I also brought chocolate syrup, and whipped cream, and sprinkles, and chocolate chips.”
Pinkie waited expectantly, eyeing the pancakes, a loud growl coming from her stomach.
You know, some ponies express affection with food. Interesting how she presents the meal, then waits for you to begin.
Celestia grimaced for a half second before straining to turn it into a smile. “Jam sounds wonderful.”
“Strawberry, blueberry, blackberry, or raspberry?”
“Pinkie...”
“Oh! We could combine them to make razzleberry! That’s yummy!” Pinkie exclaimed.
“That... sounds fine.” Celestia replied, not having the energy to worry overly about what she was having with breakfast.
After a portion was dished out to each of them, Pinkie dug in with gusto, devouring hers in great bites that took chunks out of the full stack at once.
Celestia watched with fascination as she absently ate from her own plate. The food was wonderful. Pinkie had a true talent for cooking, it seemed. That was actually a pleasant surprise, as Twilight had only mentioned Pinkie’s cooking once, and it was in relation to a townwide case of food poisoning. But then, that had been some time ago, and what did an apprentice baker do but learn to cook?
Well, she learned quite a bit from Twilight as well. Quite quickly too. One wonders what it might be like to be Twilight’s student. I have the notes here...
“Not helping.” Celestia whispered under her breath.
Sorry, wrong pony to be thinking about just now. Well, why not just come out with it? It can hardly be more awkward than staring at her silently while she eats.
Pinkie had finished eating, and was looking straight at her by this point, a polite but curious expression on her face. “Whatcha doing?”
Celestia hurriedly finished the bite she’d been chewing. “Just... thinking.”
Pinkie nodded earnestly, getting up to put the tray away. “Okie-dokie!”
You could have told her the truth, you know.
“I don’t wish to explain that I am quite literally talking to myself.”
Not yourself, not really. Besides, Pinkie knows about me.
“She knows she had an odd dream, and that Twilight and I were both there.”
“Oh! Are you talking to her?” Pinkie asked as she returned from the kitchen.
I told you she knows.
“I...”
“Tell her I say hi!” Pinkie said, waving. “Or can she hear me?”
Hello, Pinkie!
Celestia sighed heavily, uncertain at what point in her life she’d become a middle pony for Twilight’s marefriend and a voice in her head. “She says hello.”
Ask her what she thinks of the name Astra! I’m still not sure... You liked that one, did you?
“Did she say anything else?” Pinkie asked, sitting back down at the table.
“Later.” Celestia said firmly to them both.
“Okay!” Pinkie said, still looking at Celestia expectantly.
Fine. Are you at least going to talk to her now?
“Yes.” she hissed in undertone.
She smiled apologetically to Pinkie. “I was hoping we... that we might be able to talk about last night, if that’s okay?”
“Sure! What did you want to talk about?”
“Well... about the kissing—”
Pinkie face positively lit up with the brightest and happiest smile Celestia had yet to see her ever express. “Oh my gosh that was fun! I... Twilight kissed you so hard for me, I could tell!” she sniffed, rubbing a hoof over her nose. “And she was smiling, like... really really smiling! You were right, that helped a lot!”
Celestia just sat in her chair, her mouth open very slightly, once again at a loss for words. As sovereign to what amounted to most of a continent, she wasn’t often required to apologize to much of anyone for anything. But she was trying her very hardest to make one and the intended recipient couldn’t stop thanking her for things!
She blinked, shaking her head swiftly, and took a deep calming breath. It was important to remember that any communication with Pinkie was going to be of the nonstandard variety. She literally did not think in the same way as most ponies.
Pinkie seemed a bit overwhelmed, and unless Celestia missed her guess, was actively weeping. “I... I just... she’s always so—” she produced a box of tissues from her mane and blew her nose loudly into it. “Sorry, it’s just... she’s not usually like that unless we’re, you know, in character, and... it was so nice.”
The Princess nodded with all the gravity she could. “I understand, Pinkie, and you are quite welcome. But... I meant, when you kissed me.” she raised a hoof before the inevitable interruption. “Not for Twilight. When you said... ‘That one’s for you.’ ”
Pinkie just looked at her, apparently not understanding what Celestia meant. “Was... was that not okay?” she asked, her ears wilting.
Oh, you had better not make her cry.
“That’s not what I meant at all, Pinkie!” Celestia said quickly. “It was fine, and very nice of you. I... I just didn’t... I didn’t know how to react.”
Pinkie cocked her head to one side once more, her mouth quirked up in consternation. When she finally spoke, it was to ask the most basic, yet complex question of all: “Why?”
“I...” Celestia trailed off, eventually looking away from Pinkie and down at the table. “Pinkie, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay!” Pinkie replied promptly. “I just wanted to thank you, but I guess I picked the wrong way. I’ll do better next time.”
“No!” Celestia exclaimed, raising her head up to face Pinkie again. “There was nothing wrong with what you did, I promise you. It’s just that, you said you wanted to thank me for being nice.”
“Well... yeah!” Pinkie exclaimed in surprise. “You helped me out so much! When I came to Canterlot, you took me right to her instead of putting me in a cell like that stallion wanted to do. You helped me find her again when she ran off into the forest, and last night...” she trailed off, her lips trembling. “Even if it was you kissing me for her, she... said it was for me, and I saw how hard she kissed you. It made me so happy.”
“I’m glad,” Celestia replied, unsure if she should even bother trying anymore to express how she felt that night. Would it even matter?
It would to Pinkie. I think we know that both her and Twilight understand feeling unworthy.
Celestia nodded absently, not entirely sure if she agreed or not. “I... I’m just sorry that I didn’t react the way I would have wanted to. You... you made me think about how I’ve acted towards you recently, and I didn’t feel very nice.” she looked Pinkie in the eye, and did her best to smile. “But I want to be, in the future. So... if you want to kiss me in thanks for things I do from now on, I think I’ll be okay.”
Pinkie regarded her for a long moment, her confusion still etched on her face. “Okie-dokie!” she said, getting up and giving Celestia a quick hug. “I have to go help with the morning rush, but should I bring lunch later?”
“That sounds good.” Celestia replied, wrapping a single wing around Pinkie in return.
There, that wasn’t so hard, was it?
Celestia watched Pinkie go, retrieving the novel she was reading from where she’d left it the previous evening. “No, but that’s only because of her.”
Give yourself just a little credit. It wasn’t as if you spurned her.
“Didn’t I? She didn’t even mean it romantically, and I froze up.”
Ugh. Enough with the self-recrimination. I can take care of that for you just fine.
That actually got Celestia to laugh just a little.
That’s better. Really, you need to learn to let go just a little. If you spend their lifetime ruminating on your past you won’t have time to make new memories with them.
Celestia opened her book, finding her place once more. Daring Do was about to recover some relic long-thought lost to history. Celestia actually recalled this particular artifact, as it had been placed on display in the Canterlot Museum of History; she’d knighted Miss Yearling in a private ceremony shortly afterwards. If she’d had her way it would have been public, but Yearling was a notorious recluse, having no use for personal fame.
Strictly speaking, the series should have been categorized in autobiographies, but then, Celestia suspected at least some of the details of ‘Daring Do’ were aggrandized just a little. She knew for a fact that all of the names were altered, though how much of that was Yearling and how much was villians protecting their identities with assumed names was unclear. Her eyebrows had been raised more than a few times at the attempted crimes of Daring’s opponents. If any of those crimes had actually been successful, she might been have worried.
She looked at the stack of books remaining in the series, her lips pursing as she considered how little seemed to be left. Maybe Yearling could be persuaded to part with a first draft of her latest exploits.
If you’re lacking for reading material, I still have those notes I took from Twilight’s presentation...
Celestia could feel the blood running hot in her cheeks.
“Maybe a little later.”
“I’m back, Mr. Cake!” Pinkie called out into the kitchen as she entered Sugarcube Corner from the delivery entrance.
“Pinkie, you’re just in time.” Mr. Cake called back from the front. “We really need some help with this lunch rush.”
“Oh no!” Pinkie said worriedly. “I thought I was here in time for the morning rush! I’m so sorry!”
“It’s fine, Pinkie!” Mr. Cake replied. “Ponies have been coming in asking for lunch since the sun came up and stayed up.”
Pinkie wiped a bit of sweat from her brow. “Okay! What should I make?”
“Everything,” he said with a laugh. “But start with a fresh batch of donuts. The frier should be heated up by now.”
Pinkie nodded to nopony in particular, immediately heading towards the pantry for supplies. She hesitated just before her hoof touched the door. “Have you heard any weird noises from the pantry?”
“No... should I have?”
“Nope! Definitely not!” Pinkie replied quickly. “Just checking!”
“Well... okay. Please get those donuts started soon, I’m running out of the ones we made yesterday.”
“Okie-dokie-lokie!” Pinkie called back cheerfully, still eyeing the door without touching it. The cake monster could be sleeping, and she really didn’t want to wake it up.
Opening the door as quietly as she could, she took a quick peek inside, and much to her relief saw a completely non-monstery cake, surrounded by all of the cupcakes she’d thrown at it to distract it while she locked the pantry.
She really needed to ask Twilight or Celestia about Pumpkin’s magic surges before somepony got hurt. Thankfully they were happening less often, but they were getting weirder every time.
Picking up a few of the cupcakes and popping them into her mouth, she decided what to do with her worthy opponent. The former cake monster was put into a cake case, stored away as a snack for later. It would have wanted it that way.
And even if it wouldn’t have ... to the victor goes the spoils!
Except the cake was still fine, and actually looked like it would be just as yummy as when she’d iced it, back before it had started growling at her.
For a time, she simply baked, making up dozens of donuts, pastries, cookies and all other manner of sweets and breads. Anypony watching her would have been amazed at the sheer speed with which she was moving, but she was really just letting her body go through long-practiced motions.
Her mind was barely paying attention to what the body was doing, beyond making sure that when butter flew through the air, it landed in the bowl with the flour and milk as it should. It was mainly occupied by thoughts of Twi-twi and Celly.
Although, if she was being honest, mostly of Twi-twi.
Something had happened this morning, something huge, and she wasn’t even sure if Twilight had noticed what it was: they’d had their first kiss.
Twilight had kissed her. Not ‘Mina’, or one of the many, many characters Pinkie played for Twilight’s games. It hadn’t even been a kiss meant for her delivered by Celly. Twilight had kissed Pinkie. On the lips.
Her poor heart had nearly burst when it had happened. It had been so simple, but so perfectly Twi.
When Twi-twi was playing somepony else, she was confident, and dominant. She threw herself into it with abandon. She was that pony. That might have been what had been bothering Pinkie about their games all along, because she knew that the Twi behind those masks was shy, and unsure. That was the Twi she got little pecks on the cheek from, sometimes nuzzles, too. But never a kiss kiss.
She’d never known why it had been so hard for Twi to just be Twi while they were doing sexy things, but had guessed that she had a hurt somewhere deep inside. A hurt too big to talk about. Pinkie knew about hurts like that. It was why she had so many smiles, and why she spent so much of her time giving out smiles to others. It was because inside, that same sad little filly that had never seen a rainbow still existed, and she had to be cheered up just as much as everypony else did.
Twi didn’t have Pinkie’s stockpile of smiles, but Pinkie had tried to help by giving her that first costume. And it had worked... sort of. Twi was really, really good at being other ponies, as it turned out, but still not so good at taking off the mask. But Pinkie loved the Twilight behind the masks, just like she loved that little part of herself that lived in a sad, grey world.
She’d always thought that maybe if she understood the hurt, it might make things okay, but it really hadn’t. After settling things with Celly in her heart, Twi had begun to heal, but the scars were still there, and were tender. It would take her a while to really be okay.
“Pinkie, let’s get another five dozen pastries going, please?”
“Okie-dokie!” Pinkie called back cheerfully.
From the dining area, Pinkie heard friendly chatter from dozens of ponies. None of them seemed to be having problems with multiple marefriends. She wondered sometimes, what it might have been like if she and Twi-twi had started off normal right from the start, with the hoof-holding and the shy kisses and long walks under the starlight. She didn’t regret anything they’d actually done, of course, but it all felt backwards and weird. She was all excited because they’d just had their first kiss, only it was weeks and weeks since they’d started doing things that were way, way naughtier.
She blinked, letting a stick of butter splat into a wall.
Twilight just kissed Pinkie for the first time ever... That means we can really start over this time!
Pinkie quickly caught the second stick in her bowl as her mind raced. She could make it all okay. Twilight had tried to fix them, but she was too hurt to do it right. And it wasn’t fair to make her do all the work anyway. But this time, Pinkie could take the lead. Pinkie could kiss the shy Twilight, could lead her into bed, could gently snuggle and kiss and caress her. Twilight had taught her what to do, and now Pinkie could do the same for Twilight!
But she could do more than that. Pinkie could take them on fun dates. She could hold Twilight’s hoof, and take her stargazing, and find them nice restaurants! She could do all of that, and do it right.
It would be okay this time. Pinkie would make it okay.
Another butter stick went splat on the floor as she realized something else.
She didn’t have to do it alone. She had a co-conspirator, a mutually meddlesome-mutineer. Somepony who loved Twilight just as much, and wanted her to be happy without feeling like she had to be somepony else to do it.
Oh my gosh, this is going to be so much fun!
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Well done. I don't like twipie normally but this is one I'm actually enjoying.
And poor Middy. I hope he can get his rest without Luna making more trouble.
The trials and tribulations of Twilestia Pie remains my favorite part of this story. More to the point, it's mostly Pinkie and Celestia carrying it for me.
The profanity in this fic should have warranted a M rating by now. . .
Heh, the old, 'protecting the people from the princesses', always amuses me. Celly probably could microwave someone in a flash, and Lulu might instill immediate heart stopping horror.
Astra keeps notes, huh? I always assumed she was a doodler.
For some reason I have a feeling Celly is going to have to expend another large dose of energy in the future. Reverting her back to Pink-Tia, so she could dip into twi-pie again.
7529196 Still toeing the line in that regard. Teen rating actually covers quite a bit, but I don't include more than mention of sex acts that occurred off-screen, or mention of characters becoming hot and bothered by something.
Plus, I have that big-old bolded warning in my description.
I try to ensure my audience knows what is happening.
Ye gods, a good head shrinker could make a mint hanging their shingle in this town.
7529435 So, so much.
Well my mind was careening off into god it Twilight stop the role playing! Again but Pinkie's part pulled me away from it in time Godspeed Pinkie
7529528
"Don't worry, I totally got this!"
i wonder why she didn't ask Pinkie Pie for a sun chair from pinkies emergencie sun chair stash. hidden all over ponyville in case somepony needs a good tan very quick (or for Rarity)
nice chapter, i hope we get some AJ and RD soon too.
7529196
its more like an animated powerpoint or video with actual twilight and pinkie in it, doing what twilight discribed in her presentation ...
7529964
I was talking about the shippers who don't like TwiPie and shippers who ship Twi or Pinkie with different ponies.
~ from the desk(covered in blood from feels wounds) of M.Hatter
Everytime I read this fic and this couple I ended crying, It's as If I am feeling their doubt, their pain, their hope and of course the funny moments, but always, always, there is a tear falling from my eyes.
You are a great writer! And I hope they find their solution!
And I hope to know if RD and AJ made the trip!
7530867
Hahaha, nice, maybe we'll see later on.
Frigging epic chapter well done, nice job man, nice job
Ahhhh...
Words.
7531560
Want to know the secret to never loosing the game ever?
Either play Lich's Mirror.
cardkingdom.com/images/magic-the-gathering/shards-of-alara/lichs-mirror-5967-medium.jpg
or Chuck Norris.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/564x/d6/3b/cf/d63bcfa173c328053e4ce95efe10edca.jpg
Or if you're feeling extra cheecky
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/22/ba/5f/22ba5f4ac4acafd6d0ade06b91ab0fe5.jpg
________________
7531639
Hopefully
.
7532427
Making her parents interesting or in any way assertive would have destroyed any conflict with the abominable brother, though.
7533133
Still those cards are best for winning the Game.
Although if I really wanted too I could play.
3.bp.blogspot.com/-AHoJUL_b3QM/UeRtyvgCCwI/AAAAAAABdgs/w6ZVY5OTgCg/s1600/1.png
I have forgotten, how much time has passed in the story as of yet? It has been so many chapters taking place during a single day.
7534485
*Contains Spoilers.*
Up the the chapter "The Party" was 3 days. (Trying to get inspiration for the Fall Line (and the Flower); The client and Flutters being Rarity's Model; Then the Party after Rares makes a mule of herself.)
Chapter 8: "Her Fluttershy" was 2 days later. (Rarity making her love letter. Then Flutters accepting it.)
Chapter 14.5: "Into the Storm" Was another 2 days (Meeting Rarity's parents with dinner with them. Followed by the Blueblood meal and the freak storm afterwards.)
Chapter 19: Let's Not Go to Canterlot (It's a Silly Place). Was an additional 2 days.
Chapter 27 (Rare's time in Canterlot) was 3 days.
And while that's as far as I've gotten on the re-read. I think the rest of the chapters take up 4 days.
So that's 12 days I know of, and I think with the ~ 4 days past that bumps it up to 16 days.
7534516
Thank you, a lot of things realy has happen within a month for them.
7534524 Well, yes. We're seeing things from multiple viewpoints, and often multiple scenes in the same day. I should probably do a timeline at some point
7534556
That do probably help people keep track of things with how much has happen in such a short ammount of time for them. And for how long this story has been going on.
Maybe linked in the story description?
Either way, I will wait for the next installment as usual. Keep up the fantastic work.
7535071 That's because the complete unit of foot is composed of the bones going down from the fetlock. Same as the foreleg is also referred to as an arm.
7535099
As I said, technically. Yes, the whole of the fetlock to the hoof can be considered a foot. But the hooves themselves are toes. That and it just reads wrong.
I mean what they walk on are toes, and the frogs and heels are part of that toe they walk on. I mean yes everything below the knee is part of their foot. But what they walk on is their toes / phalanges.
Unless you are talking about the entire area beneath their knees . Rather than under the hoof / around the hoof area. Then yes, their entire foot would count. But if you're fingers get cold / wet, and the rest of your hand isn't, would you say that the hand was cold / wet? Again. It's one of those weird things that goes into how you want to spin semantics. Personally reading feet on horses reads weird. Since everyone calls them hooves. Even anatomically speaking they walk on their hooves / toes (well 1 toe per leg / foreleg).
But I guess artistic choice wise, a person could call them feet. It just reads as incorrect to me.
7530956
Bruh it was a joke.
So, I had a few moments of 'dawwwww' here, and maybe a triumphant fist in the air.
Mostly all I could think was... 'How many times are these ponies going to have to rehash the same thoughts and feelings before they accept what they actually want, and is feasible within the possible dynamics of their relationships?'
I know people have their own special little hang-ups, but dang, accept the way things are, already. People aren't that complicated. Not to say that I didn't enjoy it, but, it gets frustrating when I watch these characters fight so hard against possible happiness.
There are risks. In everything. Pain goes away. The threat of pain isn't worth not trying. Blah. As always, Steel, can't wait for more.
7536113
A very poor one. Especially when it mirrors a lot of Fimfics fans that have a massive hate-on for anything not hetro (*points at RealityCheck's massive homophobia, and insane ramblings about 'gay agendas'.). So not really funny bruh. At best it falls flat.
7536530 Sorry, I know their story arc has been a long time in the making, and it's rough reading about it because they tend to focus on what's going wrong. But relief will come!
7537346 Nothing to apologize for. I see this kind of dance often enough in real life to know it's something that happens.
I do see a bit of sunlight poking through the clouds, so I'm hopeful. As hopeful as I ever get, anyway
Commence read.
Go Pinkie. Use them teamwork powers. 2.5vs1?
Now to see what happens with Rarity and Fluttershy.
7539629 Well and that's just the thing isn't it? Most of lifes real problems have easy solutions, We as people make them hard. even people like me, I'm very logical, Very much the kind of guy who is like "The most reasonable course of action would be to tell him how I feel", I STILL freak out about that sort of moment. I mean, I'll go through with it because it's logical, but my brain tries so very hard to sabotage me.
Pinkie, your definition of fun probably is different than the others'. Still, things are slowly, slowly getting better. Be wary of not doing anything to damage it all in one swift stroke. And most importantly - speak about everything. And get others to speak too. Oh and speak in a way they'll understand
Anyway, another lovely chapter. Logic dictates a lot of things, but feelings usually override them. Great depiction of that.
Oh Faust, you two, just talk!
At least the weather is getting fixed.
7542640
Pinkie will talk all you can stand. The trick is getting her to make sense.
7542769 Well regardless I am along for the ride. I had a few minor issues with the start but once this story got going it's been really enjoyable and I am excited to see where it takes me.
Gah! Love this fic so much XD.
Is it just me, or is everypony here an emotional stormtrooper? They shoot for what they want to say and never say it.
7547237 Heh. Yeah, they should be more like Snails. He never overthinks. Or underthinks. He never thinks. Ever.
But seriously, yeah, ponies worry, a lot.
7537145
Whatever dude (bruh).
7548775
Dude. Before you try your hand at humor. You first have to know what comedy actually is. As well as know your audience, and try to not open with a failed punchline.
7553580 Heh. Yep. But then, it really all comes back to communication.
I'm getting tired of Celestia being a wet blanket
I'm looking forward to Celestia being snuggly with Pinkie Pie 
I feel bad for Pinkie since Twilight is princess crazy at the moment 
7557581 Well, Celestia is warming up surprisingly quickly, considering. If I wasn't more or less giving you minute by minute pov, I'd be able to show you a progression over weeks or months.
7544123 Yeah. The person you choose to spend the rest of your life with should be your best friend. Whether they were before yous tarted dating or not.
7552836 I know, that's why it was so perfect. This casual discussion of how half of them are almost dying is still just mundane when you compare it to Fighting dragons or evil gods of chaos, and you displayed that perfectly.
7553950 The most important aspect of ANY relationship. Whether it's romantic, platonic, professional, or familial, Communication is key.
7557812
That's true, still I can't wait for Pinkie to get some snuggles and some smooches!
7558272 Dashie gives herself plenty of credit for things she is good at. Let's not swell that head even more.
You write pinkie pie so well it's unbelievable
7559474 I try. Many actually do her more justice, but I have my own brand of Pinkie that seems to be enjoyable.
Well, look at you! Close to 400k words in just over a week. Nicely done. I update again on the 1st, and consistently do so every month. If you need something to read in the meantime, I could recommend A Swan Amongst The Ducklings, which is a companion piece to this story (It's mature, but nothing more racy than Green yet).
7560134 Lol, would you believe that that's slow for me? been gaming alot lately, on a good day I can knock out 120k a night.
As for pinkie pie, see others write her more accurate to the show, you write her the way a Real person would be. Nobody is that happy, upbeat and cheerful all the time without either being crazy, or hiding a LOT of hurt. Your Pinkie is amazing because it's Believable and Relateable.
Pinkie Pie Is someone who lives to make others smile. She is literally the ELEMENT of laughter. but when your every waking moment is committed to the happiness of others it's so easy to forget about your own. And maybe not everyone has been there but to those of us who have? This is the pinkie pie that lives in our hearts and minds when we watch the show.
Gah! this is the last chapter! Damn... need more...
7571176 well, new chapter on the 1st, you could also read the side story.