• Member Since 24th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 7th, 2020

ponylover


Hey im a fan of MLP FIM and im trying to get a story down so yeah.

Comments ( 24 )
Comment posted by Sailorfluttershy deleted May 28th, 2014

4458214 Do you want some cheese to go along with your whine?:trollestia:

Seriously, why not oh, I don't know, dislike it and move on and not write a big ass page of you complaining about someones hobby that they are doing for fun just because it's not the most original setup? He wrote out his story because he wanted to have fun, and he's wanting to actually try our writing for himself. You bitching about it just makes you look pathetic.

4458646 I should've added that he was gone for a long while in RL issues so he's very rusty, my mistake.

It's the job of writers to criticize the work of other writers, so that they can get better.

Yeah you weren't criticizing, you were typing what a crappy person he was for writing his stuff. There's a huge difference.

Unsincerely, you poor excuse for a writer of the ponz fanfics,

That's what we call, an insult.

And to answer your question, I don't drink wine, nor would I have cheese with it.

It's actually quite pleasant.

4458742 Trust me when I say that I've had quite a lot of reviews to my stories, I have one of the most hard-headed editors giving me advice and allowing me to learn as I go, by no means am I perfect. In fact, you can see my progress from the very first, to the last fiction I've written on my page.

I was at one time, I was quite bad at writing and so I've gotten a fair amount of critic and insults along the way. So with this conclusion I can tell you that I know the difference. That is why I can call your asinine excuse for criticism an insult in its very nature because it doesn't help. It just makes the person feel bad about themselves.

A good critic goes through and calmly, nicely and professionally points out the different types of errors he/she can see and gives tips and other helpful info to help them better themselves. What you did is nothing of the sort and you're just hiding behind the title 'critic' to act like an asshole.

Also want to point out that the cussing wasn't an issue in the first place, it was the way your words were used.

4458881 Well for one, as I've said multiple times, you can criticize without being an ass about it which you refuse to want to do, you're on a site that in the least was only intended to have fun with and to help anyone wishing to improve their writing skills so you being so bent on "the hard truth" isn't necessary and quite frankly it seems you're the one getting riled up here so all I can say is good luck with your life, you'll only get more grief and headaches doing what you're doing. Plus you got those insults by insulting others I'm sure. Though I have to agree with you that the Muslim one doesn't really seem insulting... A little weird as well.

4458881 To tell the truth I wasn't insulted and I could take the criticism well. Plus what I put in happens at my school. Jocks being asses, people walking around bleeding, and for Fluttershy it's just she seemed to me to just act like that. I'll admit I suck at cannon (if I spelled it right) for real characters. And I have been busy for a long time so this fic is my first one in a very long time. Lastly I have dealt with worse people saying I should just quit or get a life. Anyway what you said about my story was ok to me and not a huge deal since you weren't as bad as others. Thank you for your time.

I actually wrote up a short review of this last night but I never posted it because I realized it was just harping on the same thing, over and over again:

This story isn't interesting. It's not entertaining. It's just boring, which is even worse than stories that are truly awful. Those at least have the bile fascination of watching a train wreck in slow motion, especially when the author isn't as understanding as ponylover.

I will say that if you strip away the names this has absolutely zero relation to ponies at the moment. There's even a damned reference to Buddha and Thai. And judging from the lack of skin color descriptions this isn't really Equestria Girls either. It's just a cliche highschool story that just happens to have goofy hair colors and strange names.

I'd take Kei's advice. This needs to be heavily reworked. That's about all I can say. I don't know where to start. Go to a editing group and find a prereader/editor or something. They can help with that part better than I.



Also my two pennies on the debate is that criticism does not have to be nice. It certainly would be preferable, but some great criticism is done through anger. See: Some of Ebert's one-star reviews, Zero Punctuation, etc.

4460376 Lol I don't think it's just some American's, Idiocy can come from anywhere. Lol Though Americans are... overzealous about somethings.

But oh well, I just want to leave this in the terms of agreed to disagree. Otherwise we'll could go on forever I'm sure. Mostly because we're both hard-headed as all hell.

Also, you're leagues away from professional.

Never said I was. At all. Though as far as writing, I'd like to say I'm fairly well off. :P But Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and they all stink.

But I generally congratulate you on your success going to RIT. Though I'm not sure if I want to lick you so much a wish you luck. :rainbowlaugh:

4462401 Indeed.

That seems like you'd never have a dull moment with friends walking around licking each other. Lol

4460343 Um sorry i'm still very rusty. What's AU mean?

So I decide to read this before bed and I give you some of my thoughts so far. I will say it needs some work but your story does catch my interest. Really my only complaint is describing the characters a little better and explain when did Jacob learn Fluttershy name. She never told him her name in math class and yet it says.

Fluttershy looks up and then quickly back down, avoiding eye contact and looking really nervous.

I want to know when did he learn her name.

I won't go deep in to this fic saying what wrong with it because I really don't want to sound like an ass. I just want point out what bothers me the most. Looking forward seeing updates for this story. Peace:scootangel:

4469740 my mistake. I didn't mean to have him know her name.

>Good god summer is here

I'm glad your continuing this story and this chapter is much better then the last one. I don't really see any real major mistakes but I do see couple.

I stretched as my sweat began to cool from my fantic nightmare..

I think you mean frantic because fantic is actually a name of a Motorcycle company.

Now of course I wanted to just pop him once in the mouth breaking it then rip his jaw off and shove it so far up his ass that he it would reattach with shit on it.

I suggest maybe rewriting the sentence. It kinda doesn't really make sense to me.

Those are my only two complaints.Please keep this story going and don't let any negative comments get to you.

Have a good Night.:twilightsmile:

I thought Jacob was his name not Kevin? :rainbowhuh:

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