Chapter 6 - The perfect present
Cheese Sandwich curled up his lower lip, the blue eyes gazing at him penetrating his broadened stance. She had spotted the badge, and was now the more curious. It was time to say goodbye, and yet, he’d been foiled into a small trap. He blamed himself, carrying around the badge on his poncho for hours on end. He told himself that he should have thrown it away long ago when he was in back the crevice. There was no doubt that somepony would have seen it, had he worn it all day.
The fact that Pinkie Pie of all ponies found it too was something to worry about. Knowing how active and bubbly she was, there was a strong possibility she’d charge downstairs and tell everypony as soon as she found out the truth. Rarity noticed it earlier, but never spoke a word. Perhaps his statement at the time of yelling it wasn’t important stuck with her, and even Rainbow Dash for the same matter, since she didn’t say a word either.
He had a feeling Pinkie Pie would have questioned him about the badge during the party if they had spread the word around that he carried a miniature badge on his poncho, but never revealed it. She had a certain knack for staying true to a pony, almost pressuring them, while also giving them their personal space, to a certain degree. She would have kept at it though, until he’d finally crack and reveal it all, unhappy from his own past.
He thought about it. Yes, the idea of hiding his own birthday made him happy. He didn’t wish to remember it, much less carry a burden. Finding out he shared the same birthday as Pinkie Pie was nice, very surprising, especially given both of their statuses as party ponies, but if he could change the celebration to only her birthday; that would be his wish.
Because knowing Pinkie Pie, she wouldn’t rest until he was satisfied on the exact same day if she knew. And she had just found out a clue leading to it. There was no way from him to lie his way out of it this time.
It was an old badge from weeks ago? Why would he still be carrying it, and why wouldn’t he have told her?
It wasn’t important? What wasn’t important?
Whatever dismissal he could think of, there was always a comeback, some way for it to misfire, whether he liked it or not. But Pinkie Pie wasn’t the densest pony around, not by a long shot, actually more intelligent than most ponies let on. Who keeps tracks of all those birthdays after all? Being a party pony himself, the Cheesy Sense always told him of birthdays, never having to remember the dates to an eidetic extent.
There was a possibility, but he only had a small inkling of a chance that it might work. And that was to make sure Pinkie Pie kept quiet. He didn’t want a hassle, or even the attention. Her birthday was epic, as he would say, and he wouldn’t dare let the fact that he had hidden his own birthday drag hers down.
“It’s...” he muttered, finally coming up with something, “Not really important...”
“Why not?” Pinkie Pie replied, tilting her head.
“It’s kind of personal,” Cheese insisted, rubbing the back of his head.
Pinkie Pie remained stationary, but fumbled around. She looked like she was processing every single possible reason for why the badge was kept from her, and whatever it could be that Cheese didn’t want to talk about. She mouthed some words that couldn’t be made out, as well as continuously shifting her gaze around her bedroom, though she didn’t focus on the detail, rather her mind.
“Was it... your birthday a few days ago?” Pinkie Pie finally asked, wondering about it herself.
“No,” Cheese denied, after taking in a sigh, “Please Pinkie, don’t continue-“
“Is it your birthday?” She asked, cutting him off with extreme curiosity.
Cheese took a small step backwards, Pinkie Pie getting the truth within a couple of guesses. He didn’t want her to guess in the first place, but she pinpointed the exact detail in no time. And now his current stance of a slightly twitchy eyelid gave him away without a doubt. She looked at him, the stare piercing right through him. She looked a bit befuddled for a moment, before she read him.
She had figured out the truth, and even more when she remembered what day it was. There was no doubt that lit up fireworks in her mind.
Her pupils involuntarily decided to shrink as a loud gasp came out of her, the reality finally hitting her. Cheese could only imagine as thousands of thoughts must have entered Pinkie’s mind, most of them likely involving the town and his birthday, another with use of birthday cake.
“It’s your birthday!?” she shouted out at a volume he was sure was the loudest she could physically manage. It was a good thing nopony was nearby; otherwise they’d have heard it without a doubt.
Unfortunately, Cheese remained a little tensed up from the revelation. He was in trouble now that Pinkie Pie knew. His immediate course of action would to prevent her escape, as comical as the very notion sounded.
“Shh!” he said without even thinking, placing his hoof onto Pinkie Pie’s mouth. The lips his hoof planted onto felt rather soft, something he wasn’t expecting, but overall nice to feel, trying to ignore the minor detail to keep on track.
“Mmmff!” she mumbled underneath the orange hoof, the faintest blush on her cheeks.
“If I let go...” he started, already frightened of the consequences of releasing a hyperactive Pinkie Pie, “Will you promise to stay and lower your voice?”
She nodded her head frantically, his hoof almost shaken from her lips. She picked up one of her hooves, mumbling with the stallion’s hoof pressed on her lips, before making some motions with it. He couldn’t hear what she was saying, but her warm breath felt nice. The action seemed familiar though, as Pinkie Pie put the hoof up against her eye, making sure to close it.
If he could remember from the vague details with Rainbow Dash’s birthiversary, it was a Pinkie Promise, her own personal seal ponies around her knew. He had heard of a tale in his travels from a coach-driver. He had mentioned that the mare he and three of his co-workers were carrying had apparently broken what was known as a Pinkie Promise, and it led to a massive desert chase with a crazy pink mare.
Surely it wasn’t the beautiful, dazzling Pinkie Pie in front of him with the pillowy lips? He heard it was actually in Dodge Junction where the apparent blasphemy had taken place, but he never saw a crazy pink mare the previous day.
He looked back down at Pinkie Pie, the mare fluttering her eyelashes a bit, partly wishing he would remove his hoof, while also secretly wanting the opposite.
He felt flushed at her blue eyes. Why were they so attractive, like a magnet? He found himself drawn to them surprisingly often, and he had a crazy feeling that Pinkie Pie knew the fact as well. She must have been tempting him all the time, just playing with him, though he didn't hate the idea.
Still a bit on edge, he gradually released his hoof from Pinkie Pie’s lips, only hoping she had delivered on her promise. She remained still, just like a statue, her smile constant. It even felt a little pressuring after a while.
He let out an exhale, knowing that Pinkie Pie was willing to listen. But still lodged in his mind was the eventual parting. He will hate that.
“Ok,” he started; ready to get it out, “Yes, you are right Pinkie. It is in fact... my birthday.”
Pinkie Pie looked surprised, but didn’t react over abundantly. “But there is a reason I don’t want to tell anypony,” he continued, “And that reason is very personal to me. Please understand.”
She looked intently at him. He was pleading, hoping that she wouldn’t question whatever personal issue it was. Of course she was down that she couldn’t find out what it was, or even try to help out, but she would understand if it meant making him happy. In the end, she only nodded her head. It was the best she could do, though she desperately wanted to hug the stallion and tell him it was alright.
“...Because of this,” Cheese carried on, looking rather unhappy as he did so, “I want other ponies to be happy on their birthdays. I don’t want a celebration for my own. I’d much rather see the smile from the birthday pony. If they are happy, then I’m happy.”
“What are you saying?” Pinkie Pie asked, inching closer.
“What I’m saying is, forget about my birthday. Today, it’s your birthday Pinkie, and nopony else's.”
Pinkie Pie frowned, just at the very idea. “But... you deserve a birthday too...”
“Believe me,” Cheese comforted, drawing Pinkie Pie in for a hug, “Nothing makes me happier than just being here today. Finding out your birthday today was a shock Pinkie, but to find out it was your special day. Well... there’s really nothing more I could ask for. Just knowing that I share the same birthday with such a beautiful and perfect mare makes me happier than you can imagine.”
There was a brief silence as the two of them shared their hug. “You...” Pinkie Pie started to speak, “You really think I’m beautiful?”
Cheese froze up, his eyes fixating on the void in-between dimensions. Did he just say that out loud? She was beautiful, very beautiful in fact, but he just admitted it right in front of her, like the righteous dumb idiot he was. How could he say that to Pinkie Pie? He felt like his brain packed up and ran away while it still had the chance, not ready to take the upcoming embarrassment.
She could see the full blush present on his cheeks, turning bright crimson. She could tell he meant it, though he said it unwillingly. With her hoof, she brushed it alongside his cheek, only embarrassing him more. “I think you’re cute too,” she softly stated, before giving him a deep nuzzle.
Cheese mumbled some whines as he stared off into space, the gravity of his situation hitting him hard. He took a large gulp, the heat still not leaving him. After fighting off a few voices that told him to her hug to death, he gently tapped Pinkie Pie, before putting some pressure into it, pushing her away.
“Cheese?” she wondered.
Cheese looked down at his getup, his traveling gear, knowing that all of what he had just gone through was only harder to bear. It was finally time to leave, and he dared to tell the mare of her remarkable beauty before he left. If he could have hit himself, he would have, then again, then again, and then ten more times just reciting how much of a doofus he was.
“I’m afraid this is where I say goodbye Pinkie,” he apathetically said, not actually wanting to go through with it.
The pink mare was very quick to react, and he really should have known at the slightest mention of leaving. “What do you mean?”
He tried not to look into her calling eyes. They would only make it harder, and her frown wasn’t helping either. “Another town, another party,” he bluntly stated, still facing the ground.
“You mean... you’re leaving?”
He puckered up a bit of his lip, before sighing. “I’m sorry to say so, but yes.”
He went down to pick up his things, but Pinkie Pie had already grabbed a hold of him, clinging fully around him, suspended in the air, never wanting to let go. “No! You can’t go!” she tried to reason, refusing to move.
Cheese almost lost his balance with the added weight of Pinkie Pie, attempting to bend down to pick up his things. He couldn’t do it with Pinkie Pie on him, falling onto the ground in a heap. Pinkie Pie fell off of him as he crashed.
He groaned as he rubbed his scalp, picking up his gear with his other hoof. “I have to Pinkie,” he reinstated, “The party here is over, and I must continue on my way.”
“But why?” Pinkie Pie whined, only watching the stallion pick up his things. It was beginning to become heart-breaking to her, just knowing he was leaving for the second time.
“It’s what I do Pinkie. When the party is done, I move on. You said it yourself that this party was amazing, and that is all I needed to hear.” He looked around, trying to spot a clock. There was one hanging on the far wall. He focused his eyesight at it, before reading the time. He hated what it showed. “It’s dark enough as it is. I have to go.”
He rose back up to his legs, his full attire on him. Boneless Two had reclaimed his spot on his back, looking perfectly happy about ready to move on. He didn’t get any action of the party after all, so knowing that Cheese was heading towards another party made him happy.
Or at least, that’s how Cheese saw it.
Pinkie Pie wasn’t saying a word, just staring down at the ground. All energy in her had drained away; nothing could come out as she watched the stallion of her dreams begin to depart. She was comforted very briefly, only for a few seconds when Cheese brought her in for a hug. She should have taken everything from it, but it only made it more painful.
Cheese stroked the back of Pinkie’s head with his hoof, scrunching up his lips. He would really miss her.
He sighed as he pulled away, attempting to cheer her up by smiling right into her. He lifted up her head to try and make eye contact, but she looked away, just a painful reminder of his departure.
He didn’t like it. Leaving Pinkie Pie.
He didn’t want to leave. But he had to.
“I’m sorry Pinkie,” he whispered, before taking his first steps. “Truly, I am.”
As Pinkie Pie turned to watch the stallion beginning to walk away, she could only formulate what she desperately wanted. “Promise me...”
He stopped in his tracks, twisting his head around. Whatever it was she wanted, he felt like he could promise her anything.
“Promise me you’ll visit often. I want... I want to see you more. Please come by, just to see us...” She inched closer towards him, the sad look penetrating him even in that condition. Although she looked hurt, he felt like daggers were stabbing right at him, destroying his self-esteem.
He smiled, lifting up a hoof and placing it up against his eye. “Pinkie Promise?”
A smile appeared on her for the tiniest hint of a second, before it faltered again. The seal of the Pinkie Promise was something she held dearly, and just the thought of Cheese coming back to spend time with her, or even her friends, made her happy. But the current situation stripped that away intensively.
“Happy birthday Pinkie,” were his choice of final parting words. He took up his own offer from earlier, a little risky, leaning forward and giving Pinkie Pie a kiss on her cheek.
He rearranged his hat when he was done, giving Pinkie Pie a final smile, unaware of her steaming blush, before heading off. Turning around, he headed towards her bedroom door, walking through the doorframe into the hallway.
Further and further Cheese got away from her, and all she did was stare at his moving figure, a hoof on her cheek from where his gracious lips touched her. She sighed as the stallion turned the corner in the hallway. It was a graceful sigh, but turned into a dejected one.
Cheese started to descend the stairs, entering the foyer of Sugarcube Corner once more, his likely final time for weeks to come. Making his way through the big empty room, his eyes wandered towards the presents again. He still didn’t have a clue of what to get Pinkie Pie, and it was far too late to change that. There was nothing he could do, nor any shops open.
With strong determination, he forced himself out of the building, right into the night-time of Ponyville. He instantly shuddered at the cold breeze that passed him, knowing full fact that his journey wouldn’t be set in ideal conditions. "Beats it raining..." he muttered to himself.
With whatever energy her body allowed her to conjure up, Pinkie Pie walked over towards her window. It was dark outside, no doubt, but she could still see the outside town. Bringing herself close to the glass window, a clear figure emerged from below. It was Cheese Sandwich, the stallion she wished hadn't left.
She felt her heartbeat rise when she saw him. Part of it was the sight alone, and the other was feeling sympathy for how cold he must be. Getting closer towards the window, her breath starting to fog the glass, she stared down at the stallion, a frown evident on her.
Why didn’t she ask him? It was an easy question to ask her friends told her, and she had been holding onto it for whenever he’d next come to Ponyville. It was part of the reason she was so worried when he disappeared; she wanted to ask him in private, already fearing that he had left Ponyville at the time.
“Will you be my very special somepony...” she whispered to herself, before planting her head dully on the glass, the depression and regret revealing itself.
Why would he ever want a mare like her? She didn’t deserve him. He deserved a kind mare, like Fluttershy. A smart mare, like Twilight. A loyal and brave mare, like Rainbow Dash. An honest mare, like Applejack.
Or even... a beautiful mare.
Like Rarity.
A partying mare with tons of energy? Why would he want that?
She sighed again, her head flat against the glass, all hints of liveliness drained away. She forced her eyes to look down at the scene, Cheese Sandwich slowly getting further away. Her eyes saw the badge, the symbol for the day. His birthday, the same day as hers. But he kept it quiet.
She didn’t want that. She wanted to give him something, no matter how many times he would turn down the offer. She would stay true to his request though, not telling anypony of the joint-birthday. It was what he wanted, and if she couldn’t do that, she’d probably never see him again.
“A present...” she mused, “One of the ones downstairs?”
She shook her head at her own idea. “No, he wouldn’t want one of those...”
She remained watching him walk away into the cold and empty night, beginning to appear smaller and thinner. From the faintest focus at her distance, she could see him shudder, likely a gust of cold wind passing by.
Her pupils grew, an idea flashing to her instantly, clear as the glow of the moon. Maybe she couldn’t give him a physical present to keep for years, but something else he could desperately do with.
Without even second guessing, she whizzed right out of her bedroom door, past the hallway, down the stairs, through all of Sugarcube Corner, and into Ponyville. “Cheese!” she shouted out, catching up with the stallion, hoping that her high-pitched voice hadn’t woke up any fillies or colts, or even foals.
He turned around from the name call, the sounds of hooves racing against the ground loudening, getting closer extremely quickly. “Pinkie?”
Pinkie Pie halted when she reached right in front of him. “Cheese, I know you want me not to tell anypony of your birthday, and I won’t, but could I at least give you a present before you go?”
Presents, he thought, too many presents. There was nothing that came to him to give to Pinkie Pie, and yet she insisted on giving him something. Pinkie Pie was really kind to put up with his selfish ways.
“It’s alright Pinkie,” he stated, “Just spending the day here is good enough. I couldn’t ask for anything more.”
“But I really really really really want to give you a present!” she insisted.
He kept his interest. She had so much determination. “Yes?” He didn’t know what it could be, given that Pinkie Pie hadn’t come out with anything in her hooves. She couldn’t have been hiding anything.
Pinkie Pie’s smile grew. “Stay the night.”
“Wha- huh?” he blurted out, confused at the ‘present’.
“It’s cold and dark out here Cheese,” she added, nearing the stallion, “It can also be a bit scary. Please won’t you spend the night at Sugarcube Corner?”
His mind wandered all over the place. Spend the night in a house? He hadn’t done that ever since he ran away. So many years travelling Equestria, he hadn’t ever really slept in a proper bed before. His poncho was always only ever what he needed. Would it be so wrong to break his long-time commitment after so long?
It was a present after all. A present Pinkie Pie offered to him. To him. He couldn’t turn that down, not for the life of it. She was right too; Equestria was sometimes scary at night-time. Many times he had experienced to being woken up in the middle of the night from a howling sound. Maybe it was for the best, but the idea still shook bad signs in his head.
“Ok,” he reluctantly agreed, still a bit uncomfortable about the whole experience. So many years.
Pinkie Pie crushed him in a quick hug, before taking his hoof and carrying him back to Sugarcube Corner. She didn’t use her apparent warp speed, but it was still fast and agile. He made sure to hang on to Boneless Two during the rush.
The pair entered the sugar house again, before Pinkie Pie motioned for him to go upstairs. As he climbed the stairs hesitantly, he watched her below run around and turn everything off; the lights, as well as lock the front door. She presented her happy smile up to him as he reached the upstairs hallway.
She had joined him in no time, inviting him down the hallway, likely towards a spare room. He was still uncomfortable about the present. “Pinkie, are you sure I could stay here? I don’t want to be a bother...”
“It’s fine,” Pinkie dismissed, opening the door to an empty room with a bed, “I’ll tell the Cakes tomorrow. They’ll be ok with it.”
Cheese Sandwich pondered over the room. From what he’s slept in all throughout his years out in Equestria, it looked fantastically better. The bed stood out, like it was drawing him in with a message. Lie on me, lie on me, the voice told him.
“I still don’t know Pinkie...” he carried on, squinting an eye. “I mean, I’m grateful for this present, but it’s me who should be giving you one. I’ve tried to think of something all day, and I couldn’t come up with anything.”
“You wanted to get me a present?” she asked, getting nearer, “Aww, that’s so thoughtful!” She ran up the rest of the distance and hugged him in no time.
He felt flushed from the small cuddle. It seemed just the thought of it mattered. It still wouldn’t let him off the hook, he told himself. Something was still in order.
“Although...” he heard Pinkie Pie carry on, “If you really want to give me a present...”
He almost started to panic, just from the growing tension. What would Pinkie Pie want? It didn’t help when she broke from the hug, looking up at him with her pleading, beautiful eyes. But at this point, he was really willing to do anything, crazy as some ideas might sound.
“You could always...” she trailed off, pawing at the floorboards with her hoof, a blush on her face, “Spend the night with me...”
Cheese’s heart went into panic overdrive from the request. Did he just hear that right? Sharing a bed? With Pinkie Pie? And was it getting hot in Sugarcube Corner, or was it just him?
“What...” he whimpered, all he could manage to get out.
“Y-Yeah,” Pinkie Pie continued, stammering a bit, the blush still present, “It’d be nice wouldn’t it? We could keep warm, have a nice sleep. I know how nice we like to hug as well...”
Cheese felt even more heat arrive in the house of treats. He didn’t know.
He just didn’t know. His brain must have shut down.
His present? To share a bed with Pinkie Pie? Possibly hugging her all night?
It would surely make her happy, from the look of how she seemed. He owed her a present, and she certainly came up with something... unique. No doubt it would stand out amongst all the other presents. His first time sleeping in a bed for years, and he’d be sharing it with a mare he was glad to know. He had his answer, if still a bit iffy about the situation, finally after what seemed like minutes of confrontation.
“Ok,” he agreed, after a good awkward silence.
“Thank you Cheese,” Pinkie Pie said quietly and nervous, even looking away, almost speaking like Fluttershy. She resisted the urge to jump out for joy and wake everypony up with her fantastic news.
Cheese followed Pinkie Pie as she shut the guest bedroom door, and led him back to her bedroom. Entering the familiar room was a nice feeling again, and with the idea of travelling through Equestria in the dark gone from his mind, and with Pinkie Pie happy again, it was good.
It was truly good. Great even.
But when he looked down at the bed, the warm sensation came back to him. He was going to be sleeping there. Next to Pinkie Pie. All night.
He had to act reverent towards anything he did, not wanting to upset Pinkie Pie. He watched her as she walked over to her windows, drawing the curtains close. Whatever light came in through the windows was cut off from the curtains, leaving only the bedroom light on. He heard her yawn, likely worn out from all of the day’s festivities, if that was even possible for her.
“I’m just going to freshen up,” she said, walking over to her bedroom, likely getting ready for bed. He never had to worry too much about that. He always found his own ways around it, though he shouldn’t be surprised.
He proceeded to take off Boneless Two, propping the chicken up against a wall, before removing his other attire, including his hat and his poncho, lying them down. He was left with his only other sign of clothing, one that he never really had to take off unless it was an emergency.
His yellow shirt. Would he wear that in bed?
Pinkie Pie emerged from the kitchen, back in her bedroom, seeing Cheese without his clothes. Or most of them anyway. “Are you going to wear that to bed?” she asked playfully, before giggling her way towards the bed.
He looked down at his torso, as well as his yellow shirt, deciding on it. He would likely sweat if he wore it underneath covers, and Pinkie Pie might not appreciate it either. With a swift decision, he took it off, feeling strangely nude in front of Pinkie Pie. He didn’t take if off that much, only to wash it, so to finally reveal himself fully.
It felt new.
He watched Pinkie Pie as she wriggled her way underneath the covers, before tapping the open spot next to her on the bouncy mattress. “Could you get the lights?” she joyfully asked, pointing towards the light switch. Taking in a deep breath, he flipped the switch, veiling the room in darkness, before closing the door. He gently made his way towards the bed, Pinkie Pie waiting for him.
He ogled at the contraption in front of him, noticing just how puffy it was. It reminded him of Pinkie Pie, the mare he’d be sharing it with, who also strangely had a puffy mane. Slowly, he eased his way underneath the quilt, shifting himself along the mattress, resting his head on the pillow. It felt comfortable, and very welcoming. It was an instant reveal of bliss, never wanting to leave it.
All of the empty thoughts about running away in the night, or even turning down Pinkie Pie’s present disappeared from his mind without a trace, perfectly happy where he was.
Hands down, it was the best birthday present he had ever received.
“Thank you Pinkie,” he said, massaging himself in the soft bed.
He turned to his side, the pink pony smiling at him. “Happy birthday,” he added, yawning shortly afterwards, ready for his slumber.
Pinkie Pie took her cue, closing the gap between them, clutching her hooves around him, burying herself against his warm chest. It felt off-putting at first, but he quickly realised just how good of a hugger she was, even saying it herself. He gave back to the embrace, wrapping his hooves around her.
The two of them shared their breathing as they both attempted to fall asleep. Cheese felt every warm breath from Pinkie Pie on his chest, a very relaxing experience. “Do you really Pinkie Promise to come back?” a voice asked, very quiet, “Just to visit?”
He knew his answer. He knew it well. “Of course,” he replied, bringing Pinkie Pie even closer. He truly meant it.
He might not have been the most perfect stallion around, way out of some ponies’ league, but where he was, lying with Pinkie Pie, he couldn’t be happier on his own birthday. And he was pretty sure she felt the exact same.
Pinkie Pie fully allowed her body to bury itself next to Cheese, enjoying every moment they shared together. She might not have asked him the question that had been on her mind, but being with him now, sharing their warmth, him actually going out of his way to make her happy, it was the closest to it she ever felt. She was truly thankful.
And she would only ask him when she was ready.
“Happy birthday Cheesie,” she cooed, before leaning into the smooth, inviting skin more, ready to head into a peaceful slumber with the stallion of her dreams lying next to her.
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And this. The paradox of the Pinkie/Cheese relationship. Can be gotten around (and you must Pinkie Swear to believe that when I get to something like this, it wasn't an imitation!) but I've always thought that it made no sense to simply have Cheese "decide to stay." Even without a traumatic past, traveling and sleeping rough is what he's used to. You don't just give that up overnight.
And yeah, this was touching. Terrible sinking feeling inside that they won't be able to make this work.
4541922
I don't think it was really a deciding to stay. Well, ok, yeah he does, but he really only does it for Pinkie. The whole situation; the night, being much later than when he usually leaves, the whole premise of the present, and then when he finally sees what a bed is like truly for the first time in years, he feels rather inclined to stay. He wanted to give Pinkie a present after all, and that was for him to stay. Although I think I mentioned it quite a few times about how he was hesitating, and that he would rather just be on his way. It's true that he was used to the outside and travelling, but when he slipped into that bed, well he just didn't want to leave. He missed the experience after so long, and since he was with Pinkie, there was really no way he'd leave. It likely wouldn't cure him, he'd just go back to travelling the next day or so, sleeping outside and rough like normal. It was really more of a one-off.
I might have portrayed that a bit poorly, but it's what I meant. But on the plus side, he's promised to visit Ponyville for leisure times often when he has the spare time, not just for parties. I reckon Pinkie could pluck up the courage eventually given enough time with his more frequent visits.
At least, that's what I was hoping to convey at the ending. Whether or not that really came across, I can only say what I said above.
I didn't take this as an imitation (it took me a while just figuring out what you meant), but I just thought I'd expand a bit.
Cheesy-Sense: The ending of all cheesepie stories
4542071 No, what I meant is that in most other CheesePie stories, that's what happens: he simply says "yay, I will stay!" I thought you made it clear enough that this was a one time only thing, although it sounds as though he'll be back, and it certainly has nothing to do with whether he likes her or not. I've been walking this particular knife's edge for months now, and as far as I know, I've got the only one with triple pulls in it.
Oh, and second edit: I just wanted to say that if I ever do get to this point with my own CheesePie, I hope you won't think that I'm imitating YOU! You did a really nice job with this.
4542123 I don't really know what you mean by this or what that eyeroll is supposed to mean, but if by that you mean that it is a factor that must be dealt with by any writer trying to write this particular couple, then yes, it does.
That was so amazing! LOVE this story <3 keep up the good work!
4542206
Now I feel like a bit of an idiot. There I go taking things out of context again.
But I do think I know about that particular trope. The whole "I'll stay" thing. He meets up with Pinkie, sudden romance, and then decides to pretty much give up his travels of Equestria. I've seen an exception, where they hang out for a week or so, but that's pretty much it. I guess it goes against his character, the whole roaming Equestria. It's pretty easy to just rush into the romance and have him and Pinkie together, just like that, taking away his role.
There is one thing I've been thinking about that can also work around the whole staying thing, and even an idea for a story, though I'm unsure if I want to do it. It would be a sort of adventure where Pinkie joins Cheese around on his travels for a few months or so, throwing duo-parties in every location or something. Just an idea from brainstorming.
I am also confused at that Applejack expression. What I got from it is that a Cheesy Sense had occurred, indicating that the fic is now complete, so there is no more. Rather silly, but I really don't know.
4542323
Someone tried that very early on and almost immediately flamed out before they even left Ponyville. I'd definitely like to see you give it a try!
Warning: writing CheesePie is a highly addictive activity! I wrote less than 5,000 words of it and was stupid enough to think I was done. Ah hah hah no.
bravo
I'm not going to lie, but I just cried!
Not bad a piece of work, if I do say so myself. Probably the best CheesePie fic I read so far, and honestly, the feels in this were amazing. I could sense this being an actual episode.
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LS -
LemonStone
Omg! Can't wait to read the sequel and that last part...yes. It did make me cry. Its so sweet and I loved it. The thought of them being a couple always makes me happy and jumpy...as if i was with Pinkie and Cheese themselves. One of the best Cheesepie fics ive read...ever! Keep it up!
*HHHNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGG*
Did you hear that?
That was me having a sudden heart attack after a few feel strings were pulled and me also gaining diabetes from the sweetness of this story.
I cried when Cheese was talking about leaving.
D'AAAAAWWWWEWWW Great story I DEMAND A SEQUEL
Great story, but I kind of felt that Cheese Sandwhich wasn't "Cheese" enough. I was kind of hoping for a Cheese that was nearly as random as Pinkie Pie was, a Cheese that would have immediately gone out after realizing Pinkie Pie's problem and convinced the whole town to make setting up for the party a party in of itself that Pinkie could be in by attracting attention with the Party Howitzer and rallying them behind his banner with a hysterical speech.
I was expecting comedy between Cheese and Pinkie, but what I got was a fairly sappy, calmer slashfic. Nothing wrong with that, and it's done nicely, but not what I would imagine would happen in a Cheese Pie fic.
So cute
What's the sequel called?
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Twisting the Cheese
Honestly, I think I prefer this story to that one. But hey, if you prefer it, then that's no problem. Thanks for reading though. Glad you enjoyed it.
4946816 oh yeah, I've read it. I can't say I liked one more than the other, they were both really good.
**Fangirl squeals**
MOAAAAAARRRRR!
7308360
Most definitely. This was written back at a time where I didn't understand many fundamental things about writing. I would write for a period of time, never edit, and not use proper grammar. Some of my later stories have at least been edited before and fix the grammar issue, but this one and others haven't had that same luxury. I lost all motivation for writing quite a while ago, and though I've thought about it, I just don't want to edit this story as well as others, because I don't have the desire to. I fully understand your problems and even agree, but this story will remain untouched for a long time unless my writing flare comes back to me or if someone (probably a friend of mine if I constantly nag them) is generous enough to edit it.
Thanks for the words, though. I appreciate it.
I really like this, it’s fun seeing the pairing of Cheese and Pinkie.