My Little Investigations: Marehunter

by Metool Bard

Cats and Dogs (A)

December 14, 10:34 AM
Mewlun Mountains Airspace
***

I've never really thought about flying before. I dunno, it's just not something that's crossed my mind up until this point. Sure, we've got a hot air balloon in Ponyville, but I haven't considered taking a ride in it. Partially because I don't know the first thing about operating it, but the point still stands.

I bring this up because flying in this airship now, I've discovered something. This is actually kinda cool. We've got an amazing view, and the feeling of the wind in my mane is surprisingly relaxing. A pony could really get used to this. No wonder those rich ponies over in Canterlot have those fancy yachts.

In fact, the only thing I'm really worried about is a territorial nation seeing us as a threat and shooting us out of the sky. Brr~. Just the thought of that sends chills up my spine. I hope I'm not the only one thinking about this.

"Are you alright, Ammy?"

I turned to see Derpy walking up to me with a concerned look on her face. Despite what happened to her at the Gala, she actually looked like she made a pretty good recovery. There weren't even any noticeable scars on her body. Then again, I shouldn't be surprised. Derpy Hooves is always bouncing back from these kinds of things. I really don't know how she does it.

"I'm just admiring the view," I said, turning my attention back to the sky as I rested my forelegs on the railing.

Derpy walked up to me and draped a wing over my shoulder. "Now, Ammy. You know better than to hide things from me," she chided.

I sighed. "Alright, alright. I'm keeping an eye on things. Just for my own peace of mind, y'know?"

"Yeah, I know," said Derpy softly, nuzzling my cheek. "I understand that you're nervous, Ammy. We all are. But we're gonna be okay."

"Mmm," I said, mainly because there was nothing else I could say to that. Instead, I decided to change the subject. "It actually is a pretty view."

"Mmm-hmm," said Derpy. "I've actually never seen anything like it before."

"I know, right?! Isn't it exciting?!"

I turned my head to see Pinkie Pie bouncing up and down as if she had swallowed a spring mattress while Applejack gave her a dirty look.

"Cool your jets there, Pink," Applejack said sternly. "We ain't here for sightseein'. Remember, we've got a job to do."

"I know, I know," said Pinkie. "But I'm just so nervo-cited right now I can barely sit still!"

"That's still not a word," groaned Applejack, lowering her stetson over her eyes.

"Applejack's right, Pinkie," I said, getting up from my resting spot. "This is really serious. We're heading into a territory that nopony has ever been to before to look for a madpony dressing up like Mare-Do-Well."

"Um, duh. I know that. Why do you think I'm so nervo-cited?" said Pinkie, tilting her head.

"She has a point, Ammy," said Derpy.

I decided to refrain from commenting. It wouldn't have done much good, anyway.

"Attention, attention!" a guard's voice called out over the intercom. "We're currently at the edge of the Neko Shogunate's territory. We will be landing shortly."

"Sounds like we're here," said Applejack. "Y'all ready?"

"As I'll ever be," I said.

"Me, too," Derpy concurred.

"Me, three! I mean four," said Pinkie. "Alright, ponies! Suit up!"

Before I could ask what she meant by that, she took out two bowler hats, a brown cap with flaps, a magnifying glass, and a bubble pipe. She gave one of the bowler hats to Derpy and gave me the little detective costume. Why was she carrying all this stuff? Because she's Pinkie Pie. 'Nuff said.

"There we go! Now Sparkler's our head detective, and we're all her Faithful Assistants!" said Pinkie, placing the other bowler hat atop her head.

"Wait a minute. Why am I the head detective?" I asked.

"'Cause you're the one who knows Mare-Do-Well the best out of all of us, of course," said Pinkie. "At least the ponunculus version; AJ and I are the experts on the character we made up for Rainbow Dash. But that's not gonna do us much good here."

"I'm gonna side with Pinkie on this one, sugarcube," said Applejack. "You've met this new Mare-Do-Well face-to-face; we haven't. You're our best bet for trackin' her down."

"Not to mention her identity thief," added Pinkie.

"Plus, we know Mr. Kohryu," Derpy chimed in. "We can convince him to put in a good word for us if those Neko Show-gun-its start getting mean."

"It's Neko Shogunate, Mom," I corrected.

Derpy blinked. "Right. What did I say?"

"Never mind," I sighed. "Alright, guys. I'll play along. But just fair warning: I'm not very good at this sleuthing business. There was a lot of luck involved last time I had to do this."

"That's alright, Sparkler! We're here to help you every step of the way!" said Pinkie, a spark of determination in her eyes. "After all, we're an investigation team!"

As soon as she said that, the airship lurched a bit as it touched down. Looking over the side, I noticed that we appeared to be at the base of some sort of stairway leading up the mountainside. One of the Royal Guards joined us on the deck.

"Alright, ladies. This is as far as we go," said he. "We'll be waiting right here for you when you're done with your investigation."

"Okey-dokey-lokey!" Pinkie Pie chirped. "Let's go, everypony! The game is afoot!"

With that, she took off like a shot.

"Pinkie, slow down!" Applejack hollered, running after her.

I sighed and shook my head. This was gonna be a looooong investigation. Oh well, no use putting it off. With a bow of thanks to the guard, Derpy and I disembarked and followed Applejack and Pinkie up the steps.

***
December 14, 10:48 AM
Mewlun Mountains
Border Patrol
***

After a long climb, we reached a large red arch halfway up the mountain. I think it was supposed to be a gate, but there were no doors of any sort. There was only these thin red beams holding up an ornate beam at the top. Standing at either side of the arch were a pair of what appeared to be bipedal cats wearing the kind of armor you'd only see in Neighponese action movies. Each of them were carrying some kind of, oddly-shaped flag. I dunno, I've never seen anything like it before.

"Huh. That's weird," said Pinkie, stroking her chin. "I thought Princess Celestia said these guys didn't like ponies walking around in their home. My piggy bank is more secure than this."

"Careful, Pink," Applejack warned. "Looks can be deceiving."

"Mmm, you're right," Pinkie mused. "I'm gonna go over there and see what's up."

She started bouncing up the mountain. I've seen this kind of scenario play out so many times before, so I knew what was coming.

Three, two, one...

"Halt!"

"Who goes there?!"

Yep, called it. As soon as Pinkie got to the step the cats were on, they crossed their weapons, barring our entrance.

"Oh, hiya! I'm Pinkie Pie!" said Pinkie with a friendly wave. "And these here are my friends Derpy Hooves, Sparkler, and my fourth cousin twice removed Applejack. What's your name?"

The cat didn't answer, but instead let out a deep-throated growl. Pinkie giggled.

"That's a weird name," she said. "Now then, Grrrr, my friends and I have important business. Would you mind letting us in, please?"

The cat shot Pinkie a glare. "Are you mocking us?" he snarled.

"What? Why would I do that?" said Pinkie. "I have a great respect for cats. In fact, my friend Rarity has a pet cat! Her name's Opalessence, but most ponies just call her Opal. Do you know Opal? She's very nice once you get to know her. Sure, she can be a bit pushy at times, but..."

"Pinkie?" interrupted Applejack.

"Yes, Applejack?" said Pinkie, turning her head.

"Stop talkin'."

"Oh, fine," said Pinkie with a pout. "I was just trying to be friendly."

"I know," said Applejack, giving her a warm smile. "Here, let me try."

"Okey-dokey-lokey!" said Pinkie, stepping down. "It's all yours, AJ."

Applejack nodded and stepped up to the cat guards. She then took off her stetson and bowed before them.

"Howdy, gents," she said, placing the stetson back atop her head. "We do apologize for not givin' you prior notice, but my friends and I are on an important mission from Princess Twilight Sparkle, and we need to go through the Mewlun Mountains."

The guard scoffed. "You are a fool, pony. The Nyeko Shogunyate does nyot recognyize any such authority. We only answer to the Grand Shoguns, Mochi and Mimi."

"Wait, the Nyeko Shogunyate?" asked Derpy, blinking in confusion. "I thought it was called the Neko Shogunate. Now I'm all confuzzled."

"They're speaking with a speech impediment, Mom," I said, rolling my eyes.

Derpy blushed. "Oh, whoops. Sorry, Mr. Kitty. Ehheheh..."

I let out an exasperated sigh. Derpy really needs to think before she speaks sometimes.

"Enyough of this," snarled the guard, brandishing his weapon and pointing it at us. "Nyo one is allowed to enter our land without the permission of Grand Shoguns Mochi and Mimi. Go back the way you came and tell that to your princess."

"Look, we don't have time to argue," said Applejack, standing her ground. "We need to get in. It's very important, and..."

"Alright, ponies! One side, one side! Outta our way!"

Before Applejack could finish her thought, some brute shoved me to one side. I would've fallen off the mountain if Derpy hadn't caught me. When I recovered from the shove, I got a good look at the assailant. To be honest, I was pretty surprised.

Standing at the gates in front of Applejack were two nasty-looking Diamond Dogs with black fur and long snouts. They looked exactly alike, except one had a red collar while the other had a blue one. I remembered them from when I was looking into that protection racket that was set up in Ponyville back in July. They were Rosco and Desoto; the bodyguards of the most notorious Diamond Dog in the underground network, Sykes Silvervest. What the hay were they doing all the way out here? Surely, the influence of the Silvervest pack doesn't extend to the Neko Shogunate.

"Oh, nyot you again," groaned one of the cat guards. "What is it this time?"

"You know very well what, you mangey feline," snapped Rosco. "The Top Dog is tired of you dragging your feet. We want that fugitive, and we want him now!"

"We do nyot answer to your Top Dog, canyine," said the guard. "Nyo one is allowed to cross our boarders. Especially nyot half-witted mutts."

"Who're you callin' a mutt, furball?!" Desoto barked, looking like he was ready to gouge the cat's eyes out.

"Desoto, heel," Rosco ordered. "The Top Dog is trying to avoid starting a war with these, pests."

"You're the pest, dog," the guard growled. "We nyekos own these mountains. You are the trespassers."

"Look, this wouldn't be a problem if you guys just handed over our fugitive!" yelled Rosco, unfurling a document. "We have it on good authority that Dodger Dragonvest is seeking sanctuary in your territory! He's wanted for high treason against the Silvervest pack, and he's very dangerous! It's in your best interest to tell us where he is!"

As soon as I heard the name Dodger Dragonvest, I felt the burning sensation of bile rising to my throat. Oh, how I've come to hate that name. Dodger Dragonvest is one of the most despicable people I've ever had to deal with. He was a delusional madman who rebelled against Sykes Silvervest because of a girl (no, I'm not making this up). He apparently was trying to reverse this antiquated Diamond Dog law that stated that dating outside of ones pack was taboo. To do this, he fooled the great philosopher Kohryu and strong-armed a bunch of teenage dragons into serving him, all while helping the girl he was infatuated with carry out her own evil schemes. So, yeah. I don't really have a favorable view of the guy.

"We told you before. There is nyo such fugitive in our land," said the neko plainly. "If there was, we would've dealt with him ourselves."

"We're not buying that!" spat Desoto. "You cats are always up to no good! The Top Dog will hear of this!"

"Wait a minute," said Derpy. "I thought Ammy said you guys took care of that Dragonvest meanie. Why are you saying he's out here?"

Rosco turned to Derpy, and his eyes met mine. He snorted.

"Oh, it's you," he growled. "I should've known you'd be prying into our business again, Little Miss Nosy Pony."

"Nice to see you, too," I said dryly. "Look, I helped you guys before, didn't I? Why the hostility?"

Rosco folded his arms and closed his eyes. "The Top Dog is, grateful for your assistance, pony. But that doesn't mean you've earned his respect. You're still just as annoying as ever."

Somehow, I'm not surprised. From the few times I've met Sykes Silvervest, I've come to know him as a Diamond Dog who has no respect for anyone other than himself.

"Anyway, my mom has a point," I said. "I was under the impression that you dealt with Dodger already. What's all this about him being a fugitive?"

Rosco's face darkened. "We kept a close eye on Dodger after capturing him and putting a stop to his little dragon rebellion. But apparently, he doesn't know when to call it quits. A couple of months ago, our watch-dragon, Crackle, started wandering off again. Dodger was part of the group responsible for getting her back, but he double-crossed the team and took off into uncharted territory."

Okay, I'm kinda baffled that Sykes didn't just kill the bastard, but whatever. However, there was something else that didn't make sense.

"Wasn't he safer with you guys if you were keeping him alive?" I inquired. "If I remember correctly, those teenage dragons that he forcefully recruited want his hide."

"They weren't gonna find him underground, though," said Rosco. "Dodger may be crazy, but he's not stupid."

"An', how exactly do you know he's in the Mewlun Mountains?" asked Applejack.

"Because of this."

Rosco showed us the document he was presenting to the guards. It was a wanted poster calling for Dodger Dragonvest, dead or alive. The reward was five thousand gems. I don't know how much that is to a Diamond Dog like Sykes, but to a pony, that's a pretty hefty sum.

"The Top Dog put a major bounty on Dodger's head, and we've had a few headhunters respond to the call," said Rosco. "One of our more reliable contacts said that he went into the Mewlun Mountains, but because of these stupid cats, no one has been able to go in after him. So, he sent me and Desoto to deal with Dodger ourselves. But for weeks, these felines have been lying to us and saying that he isn't here."

"Because he isn't," said the neko guard. "And even if he was, he's nyot yours to deal with anymore."

"I don't think this is our business, Ammy," said Derpy. "We should just go."

While I see Derpy's point, I'm not sure what to do next. We can't get to Kohryu if...

Wait a minute. I just got an idea.

"Listen, we really don't want any trouble," I said, approaching the guards. "Princess Twilight actually asked us to meet with Kohryu, and..."

The guards' eyes went wide. "You're here to see the Great Kohryu?" one of them asked.

"Um, yes,"

The guard nodded. "I see. Well, why didn't you say so before? Just a moment, please."

He then banged his weapon on the ground and let out a high-pitched meow. A few moments later, another neko ran down to greet us. He was a tall, lanky fellow with black fur and two scabbards strapped to his belt. He seemed to have a serene expression in his amber, catlike eyes.

"This here is Orph," said the guard. "He will escort you on your spiritual pilgrimage to the Great Kohryu."

"It is my honyor to be in the presence of those who wish to be enlightened by Kohryu's wisdom," said Orph with a bow.

Bingo. It seems that Princess Twilight's hunch was right. Kohryu's nest is the only place in the Neko Shogunate outsiders are allowed to travel to.

"Hey, wait just a minute!" Desoto shouted. "How come these stupid ponies get to pass?!"

"They are here on a spiritual quest; you are nyot," said Oprh, his black tail swishing from side to side. "Come, let us leave these mongrels to their futile whines and yelps."

I gave Rosco an apologetic shrug before bowing to the guards.

"Thank you very much," I said.

"Yeah, thanks," said Derpy.

"Much obliged," said Applejack with a tip of her hat.

"Thanks, Grrrr! Let's hang out after this!" said Pinkie.

The guard gave Pinkie a puzzled look. "First of all, that's nyot my nyame. Second, what are you talking about?"

"Don't, mind her," said Applejack. "We'll jus' be on our way now."

"Indeed," said Orph. "Please, walk this way."

He then crouched down on all fours and scampered up the steps. Derpy and Pinkie shared a shrug and started mimicking him. Applejack and I sighed.

"Not what he meant, guys," I said.

Derpy sheepishly got to her feet and rubbed the back of her head. "Oopsie. Sorry," she said. "I guess flying's easier, anyway."

"Meh, you can do that if you want, Derpy," said Pinkie with a shrug. "As for me, this is just too much fun! I'll see you at the top!"

We all just shared a shrug and proceeded to follow Orph. Yeah, reasoning with Pinkie is always an uphill battle (no pun intended), at least in my experience. But my kooky mom and Pinkie's antics were the least of my worries. If Rosco was correct about Dodger fleeing into the Mewlun Mountains, that means I might have to deal with him again. That's not something I'm looking forward to. I'm also not sure how much Kohryu can protect us from the Neko Shogunate. These guys don't seem to like outsiders all that much. This investigation is not going to be fun in the slightest. Not that I expected it to be, anyway.

Comments

[Adam95F]

Woosh. Lots of places to look in!

Awesome as ever!

[MrBrawler18]

Mochi, Mimi, and Orph. i couldnt stop laughing. the cat grumps would be proud

[YoshiOfADown]

The plot thickens.

[theNDinspector]

Bipedal cats...I think I'm going to like this Neko Shogunate place.

[theNDinspector]

Out of curiosity, is the Neko Shogunate the place where Ahuizotl is from--in your opinion for purposes of this story?

[Metool Bard]

5074914 Not really. I think Ahui would probably be more at home in a rainforest or jungle rather than the mountains. Besides, in the episode Daring Don't, the Mane 6 travelled northwest to find A.K. Yearling (and eventually bump into the Tenochtitlan Basin where Ahuizotl set up his stronghold), which is the exact opposite direction of where the Neko Shogunate is situated in the southeast.

[Ri2]

Nyaaaaaaaa!
Cats don't like dogs and vice versa. I'm surprised Dodger is still alive.