My Little Investigations: Marehunter

by Metool Bard

Stop Outwitting Yourself (A)

December 14, 2:29 PM
Mt. Kohryu
Mediation Chamber
***

When we got to the top of the mountain, Seiryu was already there waiting for us. Once he saw that we had Dodger in custody, he wasted no time escorting us to the Meditation Chamber. Just like before, the weird itching in my brain returned as we approached Kohryu's inner sanctum. This time, however, I was more or less prepared for it, so I wasn't as overwhelmed when Kohryu emerged to greet us. The samurai guard knelt before his presence, forcing Dodger to do the same.

"O great Kohryu. These equines have successfully captured the culprit behind your recent woes," said Orph.

Kohryu looked down at Dodger and stroked his chin. "Hmm. So they have," he mused. "By the by, my meditation was being disrupted by this awful din outside. Do any of you know what that was?"

"Th-that was kinda our fault," said Derpy sheepishly, hanging her head in shame. "See, we had to fight him on your mountain. We know you don't like fighting, but we really couldn't help it. We're super sorry."

"Super-duper-ooper sorry," Pinkie chimed in, casting her eyes downward.

Kohryu smiled. "It's quite alright, equines. Self-defense is rarely something to be sorry for," he said sagely.

"Puh. Self-defense my ass," Dodger snarled. "They came running to me when I called 'em out. They need to be punished just as much as I do."

Wow, Dodger really thought of everything, didn't he? On the off-chance that we actually beat him, he had a plan to get us in trouble with Kohryu. Applejack, however, was having none of it.

"Refresh my memory, varmint. Who was it that called us out to this here mountain in the first place, huh?" she growled. "And don't say we could've just ignored you."

"Well, it's true," said Dodger with a shrug. "All I did was fake my death so that Momma's Girl would come after me. You didn't have to play right into my paws, but you did anyway."

"That's a lie, and you know it," I said bluntly. "If I didn't take the bait, you would've done something even more drastic to get my attention. Ignoring you was the worst thing I could've done."

"No, that would be trying to kill us all by setting off all of my mystical gemstones at once," said Dodger with a sneer.

My eye twitched. Man, he really knows how to push my buttons, doesn't he? I swear, if Kohryu wasn't floating in front of us right now, I wouldn't hesitate to give him a black eye.

"You're still on that?" said Pinkie, placing her hooves on her hips. "We weren't born yesterday, y'know. We all know that was just an accident. And we're not gonna hate Sparkler just because you tell us to. So nyah~!"

She concluded her declaration by sticking out her tongue at Dodger, and Derpy did the same. Applejack and I groaned. I appreciate the sentiment and all, but there was probably a more mature way of telling him off.

"Hmm. Very curious," said Kohryu, stroking his whiskers. "Lord Orph, is this dispute why you have decided to bring Dodger here?"

"Actually, it was Star Amethyst's idea," said Orph. "She believes that this mongrel holds some key information to her Mysterious Mare-Do-Well, but he is nyot willing to talk."

"I see," said Kohryu with a nod. "But, what does she expect me to do about that?"

"Well, you did mention before that all minds are linked in the Meditation Chamber," I said. "So, I was thinking that—"

"Say no more, Star Amethyst," said Kohryu, raising his claw. "I understand your request, but I'm not sure if I can grant it. I can't simply look into someone else's mind without asking first. It would be rather inconsiderate."

"But don't you need to know what happened so that we know what we're gonna do with Dodger Dragonvest?" asked Pinkie.

Kohryu furrowed his brow and stroked his chin. "An interesting point, Pie Pinkie. I must say, a balanced interpretation of events would most certainly be preferred. Nevertheless, I'm not exactly comfortable with forcing others to open their minds to me. It goes against my teachings, you see. A carrot may point in a certain direction, but you're not obligated to walk in that direction. Wait, no. Something tells me I didn't say that right..."

No, but I understand what he's trying to say. At this point, I'm starting to wonder if his proverbs really are that weird and it's not just him being senile.

"Heh, tough break, Momma's Girl," Dodger gloated. "Looks like Kohryu can't help you, after all. Not that your little plan would've worked, anyway."

Kohryu perked up. "What was that?"

"I was your hierophant, remember?" said Dodger. "I know your tricks, and I know how to get around them. Your powers won't be able to get anything out of me."

Kohryu's crimson eyes narrowed and glowed. "Is that a fact? You really think you can outsmart me?"

Dodger snickered. "It wouldn't be that hard, you senile old worm."

"How dare you mock the Great Kohryu, mongrel!" Orph snapped, drawing his katana. "I will—"

"Peace, Lord Orph. There's no need for that," Kohryu interrupted. "In fact, I say we put Dodger's hubris to the test. If he can keep his mind closed within my Meditation Chamber, then I will concede his point."

I, guess that's one way to convince Kohryu to help us. I probably wouldn't have gone that route, but that's because I'm not an egotistical maniac with my head shoved up my own rump.

"Great Kohryu, are you sure this is wise?" Orph inquired as he sheathed his katana. "There is nyo reason for you to lower yourself to this mongrel's level."

"I'm not. I'm simply humbling the haughty," said Kohryu plainly. "Come, Star Amethyst. We should get started."

With that, he floated into the Meditation Chamber. Cautiously, we all followed. Honestly, I don't know what Dodger's trying to do here. Kohryu might have a lot of patience, but he's still a huge dragon with powerful magic. Under no circumstances should you try to piss someone like that off. I think Dodger still has some tricks up his sleeve. Then again, Kohryu probably does, too. Why else would he indulge Dodger like this?

The doors behind us closed with a deafening boom, leaving us in blackness.

"Now, all of you close your eyes and open your minds," Kohryu instructed. "Let the mental ocean bathe your body in the knowledge you seek."

We all did as he asked. For a while, the only sounds I heard was our breathing. Even Pinkie was silent, and that's not something she does all that much. Suddenly, the black void around me was replaced with a white one, and Dodger's sleazy voice echoed in my brain. It had this to say:

***

You think you're so clever, don't you, Momma's Girl? You really think you've got me? Think again. Sure, you know most of the facts. I escaped from Silvervest's clutches and made my way out here, knowing that there were some sweet mystical gemstones to pilfer. It's not just Shroud Emeralds; this place had everything I needed to keep me armed and ready for my revenge against you. Of course, there was the minor problem of those stupid cats wanting me dead, but they never found me. Not as long as I had my Shroud Emeralds handy. I figured once I got enough of those, I'd be able to come back and tear you a new one. But then, I settled for luring you all the way out here, faking my own death, and destroying your ride home. That way, you could not escape me.

But that's all I'm saying, Momma's Girl. I'm not telling you any more than that. I refuse to think about anything that might help you. Like how I ran into that crazy bird guy Sojobo ten days ago in the Valley of Secrets? That's not on my mind right now. I'm not thinking about our battle, or his weird music magic, or his ridiculous chain weapon, whatever it's called. Poke and prod my mind all you want; you'll never find out about the capsule we accidentally activated with our magic during our fight. I'm not gonna even consider thinking about the Mare-Do-Well look-alike who popped out of it, or how I mistook her for that nosy little friend of yours.

I'm just gonna push all of that out of my mind just to spite you, Momma's Girl. You won't know about how that look-alike stopped our fighting when she noticed my mistake. Nor will you figure out how we told her about what we knew about that goody-two-horseshoes friend of yours and how she stopped my claim to fame and the revival of some stupid Tengu Dynasty. As we speak, I'm not thinking about how the faker made a deal with me and Sojobo to give us what we wanted most if we helped her take down Mare-Do-Well. I will not show you her elaborate plan to lure all of Mare-Do-Well's little friends to their deaths, which you fell for. Nope. I'm just picturing you crying like a wittle baby because you almost killed your pwecious wittle momma. Choke on that, Momma's Girl! Choke on it until you—

...

Wait, y-you actually heard all that? Th-that's impossible! I-I was deliberately not thinking about it! I-I— asdfhgljkafhutih!

***

With that last bit of gibberish, Dodger's voice cut out. I-I can't believe this. Everything we were doing was just part of some big trap to get me killed, and I fell for it; hook, line, and sinker. No, not just me. All of us. Everypony that the Mysterious Mare-Do-Well has allied herself with has been targeted by this madmare impersonating her, and we all played right into her hooves. I-I feel like such an idiot.

"In order to hide something, you must be aware of its existence. That is why you cannot swim against the sea of mental power, Dragonvest Dodger. And this is the price you pay for your hubris and lies."

Kohryu's words snapped me out of my self-pity. I looked up to see Dodger bathed in Kohryu's radiant glow. He was lying on his back with a completely blank expression on his face.

"I-is he gonna be okay?" asked Pinkie.

"He should recover in a day or two," said Kohryu, knitting his brow. "His mind was simply overloaded from trying to resist me. In truth, I'm actually more concerned about you four."

I sighed as a fresh batch of tears welled up in my eyes. "We shouldn't have come here. W-we all risked our necks out here for, pretty much nothing. I-I'm so stupid. I-I should've been more careful. Had I figured this out sooner, I would've— hhngh!"

I was interrupted by Pinkie Pie giving me a big hug.

"You're not stupid, Sparkler," she scolded. "None of us knew what was going on 'til now. And this wasn't a waste of time. We stopped Dodger's evil plan, and we're gonna stop that identity thief, too."

"She's right, Ammy," Derpy added, patting me on the back. "We all do dumb things, but that doesn't make us dumb. It just means we have to try harder."

Heh. Y'know, coming from a pony like Derpy, that's actually very profound. Then again, maybe I shouldn't be surprised. This is pretty much her philosophy on life.

"Sparkler, we're all pretty upset about bein' bamboozled," said Applejack. Even in the darkness, I could see the intensity in her bright green eyes. "But that's all the more reason why we can't just sit here mopin'. We need to let Twilight know about this, pronto."

"Right, yeah," I said, drying my eyes once again. "But, how are we going to get back? Our airship was totaled."

"Do not worry, Star Amethyst," said Kohryu with a bow. "I would be more than happy to fly you all back to your home myself."

"Uh, thanks for the offer, but we really couldn't ask you to do that for us," I said sheepishly. "I mean, after helping us with Dodger, I think that's more than enough."

Kohryu shook his head. "When you wish to do good, it is never enough. Unless you're unwittingly doing wrong. Hmm, no. That doesn't sound right—"

"I get the picture, though," I said, holding up my hoof. "Speaking of Dodger, what're we gonna do with him?"

"I figure it best to return him to his pack," said Kohryu. "Despite what the Grand Shoguns might believe, he cannot atone for his sins whilst dead."

"You really believe there's any hope for this varmint?" asked Applejack, raising a skeptical eyebrow.

Kohryu shrugged. "I'll admit, it's a bit optimistic for me to think this, but I'd rather be optimistic and right than pessimistic and wrong."

"Makes sense to me," Pinkie chirped.

After staying silent for a time, Orph nodded. "I will inform the Grand Shoguns of your decision, o Great Kohryu," he said, turning to me. "As for you, Star Amethyst, I must say this has been quite an experience. The Nyeko Shogunyate will nyot forget you nyor what you have done for us."

I blushed slightly. "Well, I didn't really do much besides falling into a trap and nearly getting myself killed."

Orph chuckled. "You sell yourself short, Star Amethyst. By helping us catch this mongrel and correct the injustice he had inflicted on Kohryu's home, you have earned our respect."

"Does that mean we're friends now?" Pinkie asked hopefully.

Orph folded his arms and flicked his tail. "The Grand Shoguns will have to meditate on this, but as far as I can tell, an alliance with you equines is nyot entirely out of the question. Just, be a bit patient before you throw this, party of yours. Things like this take time, after all."

"Okey-dokey-lokey," said Pinkie with a nod. "But when we finally become friends, I'm throwing you guys the best party you ever had! Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

"Right then," said Orph, clearing his throat. "Fare well, Star Amethyst. May fortune smile upon you."

"Thanks. I think we could really use that right now," I said with a bow. "You take care of yourself, too."

"I shall, Star Amethyst," said Orph, returning my bow.

"Alright, I think that's enough lollygaggin'," said Applejack, adjusting her stetson. "Let's hightail it back to Canterlot and tell Twilight what we found out."

Kohryu frowned. "I'm afraid I've never been to that particular city, Applejack."

"Don't worry!" said Derpy, puffing out her chest. "I can lead you there!"

"NO!" Applejack, Pinkie, and I screamed in unison.

Derpy blinked in confusion. "What? What did I say?"

I sighed. "Mom, I know you mean well, but let's not kid ourselves. You don't have a great sense of direction, and we don't have the time to get lost."

Derpy folded her forelegs. "My sense of direction's not that bad, Ammy. Keep in mind, it's my job to fly all over Equestria and give everypony their mail. I think I can handle this."

Just from her tone of voice, I could tell that she wasn't gonna back down on this. She is so stubborn sometimes. Man, I hope I don't regret this.

"Alright, Mom. But we're counting on you," I said.

Derpy nodded. "I know, Ammy. I won't let you down."

"Then I do believe we're all settled," said Kohryu, rising into the air. "Let us make haste for Canterlot!"

With that, there was a bright flash of light. When my eyes recovered, I was amazed to see what we were all floating around Kohryu's body, dangling thousands of feet in the air with only his magic keeping us from falling. The comatose Dodger was with us as well.

"Whoa nelly," Applejack gasped, trying desperately not to look down.

"Wee~! This is fun!" Pinkie giggled.

I myself didn't have any words. I mean, there are no words. This is simply incredible. I didn't even feel anything when Kohryu started flying off after Derpy. Man, between this, the airship, and those leaf parachutes, I've discovered that flying's really not that bad. I should give that hot air balloon a shot once we get back to Ponyville.

I quickly shook myself. No, I shouldn't let myself be awestruck. There's still a lot of work to be done. We may have avoided the fake Mare-Do-Well's trap, but she's still out there. And she's been playing all of us for saps. Well, I'm not gonna stand for it, and I doubt anypony else will, either. Part of me is kinda worried about the other investigations, but considering that most of those teams consist of ponies who have saved Equestria more times than I can count, I think it's safe to say that they'll find a way out of their messes just like we found a way out of ours. I just hope we can warn Princess Twilight about all this before it's too late...

Comments

[theNDinspector]

So, did the Royal Guard soldiers just get left on the mountain? I know that they can probably get a new airship sent to them, but they might be concerned if Sparkler and company never come back without knowing what happened. You don't have to add any of this into the story, but it is an interesting point of concern on their behalf.

[Metool Bard]

5141082 The Royal Guards are flying back to Canterlot in order to get a new airship at this point. They did mentioned that it would take a considerable amount of time for them to do so. Although I must say, it would be pretty funny if Amethyst's group bumped into them on their way back.

[theNDinspector]

5141151 Okay, I must have misunderstood that part. Yeah that would be hilarious if they met on the way back.

"Sir, we just spotted a dragon chasing the grey pegasus mare we took over to the Neko Shogunate earlier today off of the starboard bow heading towards Canterlot. And that dragon was being ridden by the other ponies we were escorting too. What are your orders?"

[Ri2]

Is handing him back to his pack more merciful? Won't they kill him too?