My Little Investigations: Marehunter

by Metool Bard

Impatient Patients (T)

December 14, 9:53 AM
Canterlot Castle
Infirmary Wing
***

"Auntie, I cannot abide by this! It's an outrage!"

"Blueblood, this isn't really that big of a deal."

"Not a big deal?! Auntie, you know not what you're saying!"

No sooner had we turned down the hallway leading to the infirmary than we were treated to a loud quarrel coming from the room. From the sound of it, Princess Celestia and her nephew were having some sort of disagreement. On the plus side, it means that Prince Blueblood is well enough to talk. However, if he has the gall to talk back to his own aunt (who's the ruler of Equestria on top of that), then I'm beginning to see why everypony else is nervous about this upcoming interview.

"It seems the prince is in the middle of something," said Kibitz, swallowing hard and placing a handkerchief to his brow. "P-perhaps we should go somewhere else and come back later."

"Until the Royal Guard and the Wonderbolts finish surveying the crime scene, Prince Blueblood is our only real lead right now," I said. "I don't like this any more than you do, but we don't really have a choice here."

Kibitz sighed. "If you say so, Your Highness."

With that, we walked into the infirmary and followed the sounds of bickering. Soon enough, we came across Princess Celestia standing over Blueblood's bed. Blueblood was giving his aunt a defiant glare, while Celestia just seemed to be as calm and serene as ever, if not a bit peeved. She was the first to notice me, and she gave me a warm smile.

"Ah. Good morning, Twilight," she said. "How goes the investigation?"

"We're off to a bit of a slow start, but I've got some hunches," I said. "Actually, that's why I'm here. How's Prince Blueblood?"

"Um, you can ask me yourself," huffed Blueblood indignantly. "And if you must know, I am absolutely appalled! These accommodations are unacceptable!"

Spike raised an eyebrow. "You nearly got assassinated last night, and all you're worried about are your accommodations?"

"First of all, I was not nearly assassinated," said Blueblood haughtily. "I was fending off an attacker. Secondly, how can you not see anything wrong with this picture?!"

I took a look around the area. I, honestly have no idea what he's talking about. The bed looked neat and tidy; the privacy curtains weren't ripped or tattered; he even had a little bell on his nightstand to ring for his servants or the medical staff. So what's he making a big fuss about?

"Everything seems to be in order, Your Highness," said Kibitz, adjusting his spectacles.

"Well, it's not!" Blueblood groused. "Because I have to share this room here with, her!"

He used his magic to violently draw back the privacy curtain and pointed an accusatory hoof at the bed to his right. Looking over, I saw that somepony was hiding under the covers and clamping a pillow over her ears. Celestia sighed.

"Blueblood, at least lower your voice," she scolded. "The poor dear can still hear you."

"Well, she shouldn't! That's the point!" Blueblood barked. "You cannot expect me to share my royal space with this, this commoner! It's unheard of!"

Wait, that's the problem? He's complaining about his roommate because she's a "commoner?" Sheesh, no wonder Rarity called him a royal pain.

"I wish you would use more tactful language to describe your subjects, Your Highness," Kibitz groaned, massaging the bridge of his nose.

"Wow. You're seriously saying that you are offended by this pony's mere existence," Shining Armor sighed, shaking his head. "That's low, Blueblood. Even for you."

"D-don't put words in my mouth, Shining Armor," Blueblood sputtered. "I assure you, I have nothing against this, lovely peasant. She can exist as much as she wants. I just want her to do it somewhere else so that I can have my royal privacy."

"Um, isn't that what the curtain's for?" asked Spike.

"It does't change the fact that she's in my royal space," Blueblood grumbled. "I mean, it's not her fault, obviously. If anypony's to blame, it's the Royal Guard. Honestly, what were they thinking, bringing her here of all places? Couldn't they have just, I don't know, brought her to some inn or tavern or something? Ugh, this wouldn't have happened if..."

Okay, this isn't going to work. There's no way I can get any information out of Blueblood while he's in the middle of this inane tirade. However, I think I might know who his roommate is. And if I'm correct, listening to him rant like this is the last thing she needs.

"Blueblood, you can't fault the Royal Guard for doing their jobs," I said firmly. "As soon as I heard about the attempt on your life, I ordered them to protect the public. They couldn't do that if they had left the castle grounds. Especially not to carry one pony to an inn when we've got a fully functional infirmary right here."

Blueblood scoffed. "Humph. Of course the princess with the least experience would not understand the implications of this."

"Actually, I'm not familiar with these implications myself," said Celestia, tapping her chin thoughtfully. I get the feeling that she was being sarcastic, but with Celestia, it's hard to tell. Whatever the case was, Blueblood knew that he had no rebuttal to that.

"W-well, regardless. The Royal Guard still needs to answer for this breach in conduct," he said, hastily clearing his throat.

Maybe if we were under the rule of King Bullion and Princess Platinum, this behavior would be justified. The problem is that we haven't had this outdated mentality of royalty being separate and better than the public for over a millennium now. I can only speculate as to why Blueblood adopts this mentality when nopony else does. My best guess is that according to my genealogical research, his ancestors are indeed the unicorn kings and queens of old. But just because I understand where his behavior comes from (somewhat) doesn't excuse it.

"Tell you what, Blueblood," I said. "I'll have the Royal Guard answer for this 'breach in conduct' if you apologize to your roommate for hurting her feelings."

Blueblood's pupils dilated. "Wh-what?! Why do I have to apologize to her?!"

"Well, it's not her fault these arrangements were made," I said with a shrug. "You admit that much, yet your ranting has left her rather intimidated."

"And how is that my fault?" asked Blueblood. "I made it perfectly clear that I have no ill will towards her. If anything, I completely sympathize with her."

"You could've fooled me," said Spike, rolling his eyes.

"I'm being serious," said Blueblood. "The poor dear saw me wounded and fainted. Anypony would need to recuperate from an experience like that. What I'm miffed about is that the Royal Guard brought her here and forced her to violate my personal space."

I think it's about time we got off this merry-go-round. Fortunately, I have an idea.

"How do you know about that?" I asked. "Weren't you unconscious at the time, too?"

"I overheard the doctors talking to her, which is how I became aware of this ghastly predicament," said Blueblood. "I think her name is, Chocolate something or other."

"I-it's Coco, actually."

A worried whisper came from the neighboring bed as the pony emerged from under the covers. Just as I suspected, it was none other than Coco Pommel; the first witness to the assassination attempt. She still looked rather pale, though I'm not sure if it was from her experience last night or from listening to Blueblood rant and rave all morning.

"Right, yes. That," said Blueblood, clearing his throat. "I'm usually quite bad with the names of commoners such as yourself. You'll have to forgive me."

"Your Highness, I think that's what has her upset," Kibitz growled. "Don't call her a commoner. It's insulting."

"W-well, what should I call her then?" asked Blueblood. "Peasant?"

"No."

"Peon?"

"That's even worse."

"Serf?"

"That one's not even accurate!"

"Civilian?"

Kibitz sighed. "I suppose that'll have to do."

Blueblood let out a sigh of his own. "You are so picky about the strangest things, Kibitz," he said.

"Look, I'm sorry if I'm being a burden," said Coco meekly. "I can just..."

"Trust me, Ms. Pommel. You have nothing to apologize for," I assured her. "You stay here for as long as you need to."

Coco smiled. "Th-thank you, Your Highness," she said with a nod.

"Please, call me Twilight," I said, returning her smile.

Blueblood blinked. "Um, I understand that you're the Princess of Friendship, Twilight Sparkle. However, is it truly necessary for you to be so casual with this common—"

"Ah-HEM!" coughed Kibitz, nosily clearing his throat.

"Er, this civilian?" Blueblood concluded.

"I don't see why not," I said. "But let's talk about something else. I'm actually investigating last night's incident, and I want to ask you a few questions about the assassination attempt."

Blueblood arched an eyebrow. "I thought I already told you that it wasn't an assassination attempt, Twilight Sparkle."

"Really? That's what everypony else is saying," said Shining, rubbing his head.

"Well, they're misinformed," said Blueblood. "In actuality, I would've saved the Grand Galloping Gala if that rapscallion fought with any sort of honor."

Huh. This is new. What's more, it's actually kind of plausible. Despite living in ivory towers (metaphorically), the old unicorn kings were trained in the art of combat. Even though they believed they were separate from their subjects, they were not above getting their hooves dirty in order to protect them. I'm sure Blueblood is no exception to that.

"Alright, Blueblood. Let's hear your account of what happened," I said. "Spike, be sure not to miss anything."

"One step ahead of you, Twi," said Spike, scribbling furiously in his notepad.

Blueblood straightened up in his bed and cleared his throat. "Well, it's all quite simple, really. I was at the Grand Galloping Gala, mingling with the *ahem* civilians and minding my own business. Suddenly, I saw a sinister-looking shadow lurking around the East Garden. Believing this rogue was up to no good, I marched on over to confront him. We fought long and hard, but alas, he had outmaneuvered me somehow and left me for dead."

"And you didn't think of telling this to Holy Lance or anypony else in the Royal Guard, why exactly?" asked Shining.

Blueblood snickered bitterly. "Truth be told, Shining Armor, the Royal Guard hasn't been the same since you left. Honestly, they didn't take my royal privacy into account when they placed me in the same room as this, civilian. How can you expect them to fight off a threat such as, well, whatever was sneaking around last night?"

Shining's eyes narrowed. "I appreciate the flattery, Blueblood, but you really should consider giving Holy Lance a lot more credit than that."

Blueblood shrugged. "I just did what I thought was best, Shining Armor. Even a prince has to take risks sometimes to protect his subjects."

Hmm. Shining actually raises a good point. Why would Blueblood take care of this himself? He doesn't strike me as that kind of pony at all. I know appearances can be deceiving, but even today, ponies who are royalty don't fight unless they absolutely have to. If he's telling the truth, something prompted him to fight Mare-Do-Well's impostor. I have no idea what this could be at the moment, but it is something that I'll have to revisit.

"Did you get a good look at the attacker?" I inquired.

"I'm afraid not," said Blueblood, shaking his head. "It was too dark to see."

"But, aren't you a unicorn?" asked Coco. "You could've just used your magic."

There was a pregnant pause. I could see the beads of sweat forming on Blueblood's brow.

"I-it's not that simple," said he. "Th-this was no ordinary intruder. He actually managed to disable my horn. That's why he prevailed."

Alright, I was willing to cut Blueblood some slack since his story is at least somewhat plausible, but that plausibility is starting to slip away. There's definitely something that he's not telling us. And I think I'm gonna need to do some more investigation before I find out what that something is.

"I think we're done here for now, Blueblood," I said. "I might be back later. I hope you have a speedy recovery."

"I thank you, Twilight Sparkle," said Blueblood with a nod. "Oh, and if you could, let Holy Lance know of my distaste of his incompetence, will you?"

Oh, for the love of Pete. He's still on that? Ugh, what did Rarity see in this guy?

"Right, I'll get right on that," I said dryly. I then turned to Coco. "I might want to ask you some questions, too. Is that okay?"

"That's fine, Princess Twilight," said Coco. "However, I don't think I'm in the mood to talk right now. Honestly, I'm still having trouble coping with this, nightmare. This was my first time to the Grand Galloping Gala, believe it or not."

"Oh," I said with a sigh. I then smiled. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, my first Grand Galloping Gala was a huge disaster, too."

Coco's eyes went wide. "Goodness. Was it really?"

"Yep. But not for the same reason," I said. "Anyway, I understand how you feel. When you think you're ready to talk, just let one of the doctors know, and they'll come get me."

"Okay. Thanks, Princess Twilight," said Coco with a nod. She then reached over and closed the privacy curtain.

"Well, I'd best be going," said Celestia, drawing herself to full height and giving Blueblood a stern look. "Blueblood, I don't want this happening again. I have better things to do than to quell your tantrums."

"They're not tantrums, Auntie. They're legitimate complaints," huffed Blueblood.

"The point still stands, Blueblood," said Celestia, staring Blueblood right in the eye. "If I hear from the doctors that you're making trouble for them again, I'll have you cleaning Philomena's cage for the next three moons. Is that clear?"

Blueblood swallowed. "Y-yes, Auntie."

"Good," said Celestia, returning to her sweet demeanor. I guess even Blueblood knows that Celestia is not a pony to mess with. She might be the most patient pony I know, but once that patience wears thin, well, you don't want to know what happens then.

"Um, Princess Celestia," said Kibitz. "I must ask. Are you sure Princess Twilight should be investigating?"

Celestia smiled. "You already know the answer to that, Kibitz," she said simply. And with that, she left without another word.

"Just drop it, Kibitz," chuckled Shining. "There's no way Celestia's gonna have Twilie stop her investigation. Not when she's on a roll like this."

"I wouldn't exactly call it that, Shining," I said. "We still have more questions than answers. Let's check in with Holy Lance and see if he discovered anything new."

"Or bail him out if he's getting pestered by Photo Finish again," laughed Spike.

Shining and I gave Spike a cold glare. In response, he let out a nervous chuckle and blushed.

"Uh, never mind," he said. "Let's just go."

With that, we left the infirmary. Despite what Blueblood says, I really don't think Holy Lance is as incompetent as he appears to be. It's more likely that he's just under pressure from his former boss being around to check up on him. Honestly, I can relate. Back when I was Celestia's student, I always got nervous before a big test, no matter how well I studied. It's a perfectly normal reaction, I believe. Still, if he wants to help me get to the bottom of this mystery, he has to get his head in the game. I can't do everything, after all.

Comments

[Manaphy]

I have to feel sorry for Coco Pommel having to deal with Blueblood being, well, Blueblood. Also, this story deserves much more attention. I'm loving the suspense, so keep up the good work!

[YoshiOfADown]

"W-well, what should I call her then?" asked Blueblood. "Peasant?"
"No."
"Peon?"
"That's even worse."
"Serf?"
"That one's not even accurate!"
"Civilian?"
Kibitz sighed. "I suppose that'll have to do."

Princess Luna, is that you?

[Grazy Polomare]

I gotta say, this just keeps getting better and better. So far, this story has a lot more depth to it than it's predecessors. Either that or it's covering a wider picture. But I feel we're going to explore some very controversial topics in the next few chapters.

Honestly, I can relate. Back when I was Celestia's student, I always got nervous before a big test, no matter how well I studies.

At the end, shouldn't it be studied? Unless I've forgotten how to do...De Studies!

...

Oh fine leave it to Photo Finish to work out that one. Sheesh. Just saying it works out a whole lot better than De Magiks.

[Metool Bard]

4941521 Whoops! Thanks for catching that, mate.

[Ri2]

Remind me why they foiled the assassination attempt?

[mylittleponyfan12345]

"Well, she shouldn't! That's the point!"

Do you mean should?

[Metool Bard]

10386470
No, shouldn't is correct in this context. Blueblood is complaining that Coco shouldn't be able to hear him because she should be somewhere else.