Better Lairs and Landscaping

by Titanium Dragon

Day 371099

Lord Tirek sat in his prison of steel and stone, staring out across the hellish landscape, his head held high to avoid seeing the splash of color in the drab realm of orange and gray. "Ah, what a delightful day in Tartarus." No, it was supposed to be a lovely day. He scowled; that thrice-cursed magazine was distracting him again.

"I must rid myself of it," he growled, striding over towards the only thing which stood out in this drab realm. Leaning down, he gripped it in his fingers, the pages spreading out as he made to hurl it out of the cage, but rather than slipping out between the bars, the spine of the thing caught on them, popping the magazine open as it fell back down to the rock floor.

Lord Tirek smashed his hoof into the ground; long ago, when he still had strength, it would have shattered the stone – no, the whole of the mountain on which he rested. But now? Now, his rage was impotent; the rock sat, whole and unbroken, as if it had not even been struck. Glaring down at the unbroken stone, his eyes slid upwards, settling finally on the source of his anger – that accursed thing that pony had given him. A beautiful spread out across two pages, with a veritable menagerie of animals in all the colors of the rainbow playing in the grass and perching in the trees.

His eyes narrowed at a splash of red as he bent down to pick up the magazine, holding it close to his face. He knew that bird. "Philomena." His fingers slid to the edge of the page, turning it. "A rare look inside Princess Celestia's private spring sanctuary." His eyes narrowed. "How interesting. So that is where you have been hiding yourself. Canterlot." Lord Tirek chuckled to himself. "And in such splendor. I did not think she had it in her." He flipped another page, eyes widening slightly. "And the view? Magnificent."

Lord Tirek lowered the magazine, his eyes narrowing once more as he peered out of his prison, his fingers tightening their grip on the pages in his hand. "She and her sister enjoy this while I am left with this?" He spread his hand, waving it across the fiery pits and unnatural rocky promontories.

"I must escape. And when I get out of here..." A smile twisted his lips. "Perhaps she would better enjoy the view down here." He shook his head. "I must learn of her weaknesses. If she was so foolish as to allow them to create these images of the inside of her gardens, perhaps there is more to be learned here."

His wrinkled fingers reached up to turn to the next page.

Comments

[musicluvr1974]

Espionage by looking at her royal gardeners' landscaping techniques... This'll be good...!

[Crochettail]

He seriously thinks he can learn how to break out by looking at pictures of Princess Celestia's gardens? Or is he giving himself an excuse for alleviating his boredom? Either way, this is quite funny.!

[Cerulean Voice]

I love the absurd concept of this.

[Corejo]

I think you forgot the part where he smashes straight through the front door of Canterlot, unless this is supposed to be pre-season finale,. I do like where this is going, though.