Chapter 3
Chapter 3
___________________________________________________________
I apologized over and over, my face buried in my mother’s fur.
After a few minutes, I looked up at her with teary eyes. “I’m sorry,” I sobbed again.
She smiled, but had a slight look of confusion on her face. “Honey, why are you sorry?”
My tears started anew as my heart clenched in my chest. “I— I—” I let out a loud wail. “Please don’t hate me, Mummy! I don’t want you t’ hate me! I can’t lose you too!”
___________________________________________________________
Cadance glanced at Twilight in utter shock and confusion, to which Twilight reflected. She looked back down at her daughter and stroked her mane. “Scootaloo, why would you ever think I’d hate you?”
“Cos I’m not really Scootaloo!” the small filly wailed, burying herself deeper into the alicorn’s fur.
Cadance blinked, then looked around at the ponies surrounding her. What was Scootaloo talking about? How could she not really be...?
A horrible thought occurred to Cadance. A thought that made her want to shove the filly aside, but had frozen her to the spot.
Was...? Was the filly she was comforting... a changeling? She wouldn’t put it passed their queen to have abducted Scootaloo at some point and replaced her with a fake. It could have even happened back at the wedding, while she’d been stuck in the throne room and Celestia was trapped in that pod.
“No, Cadance.” Luna’s voice almost made Cadance jump as it pulled her from her inner thoughts.
“No what, Luna?” Twilight asked, a small frown on her face, no doubt thinking the same thing Cadance had.
Luna shook her head. “The filly in your forelimbs is indeed Scootaloo and not a changeling—”
Cadance breathed a sigh of relief and held her daughter closer.
“— but she is also not Scootaloo, as well.”
Cadance stiffened, which caused the filly to do the same.
Cadance looked up at her aunt. “What... do you mean?”
Luna sighed. “Scootaloo is now a combination of two beings. For her to live, she needed a small amount of another’s life force, something I should have seen myself. However, Discord saw it first, and acted on the impulse to make you all feel better.”
Luna took a few steps forward and placed a hoof on Scootaloo’s mane.
“However, the spirit he took was not a small piece of that being’s life force. In his haste, Discord accidentally took it all; meaning Scootaloo now shares the memories and emotions of the being her spirit is now merged with.”
“Who’s the spirit?” Applejack asked, cocking an eyebrow.
Luna sighed. “A man who went by the name of Mike Johns, though some knew him as Autum Breeze. And no, Twilight, he was not from the world you visited. He was from another.”
Twilight glanced at Scootaloo, her eyes full on concern. If another being was now part of Scootaloo, what about the body that being had inhabited and how would this affect her niece?
Luna breathed a heavy sigh. “In his world, Mike is now thought to be dead.” This caused a gasp from the other mares, but she went on. “And, even if we were able to extract enough of his being from the merging, which in itself would be near impossible, he would have no body to return to, for his family cremated his body to ash.”
Applejack had tears running down her face. “So, the only family he... er... she’s got is...?”
Luna nodded and turned to her niece. “Cadance, you are Scootaloo’s mother. In order for her to live, that young man lost his life and now shares it with Scootaloo.”
As Cadance looked from her aunt, down to her daughter, Twilight’s eyes softened. “So, that’s why she’s so upset. She’s scared that, because the two of them are one now, Cadance won’t love her, and Cadance is all she has to hold onto now.”
Luna gave confirmation with a nod.
Cadance looked down at the filly holding onto her, wetting her with her tears. This was her daughter... but at the same time she wasn’t. But, she couldn’t see her as anything but her daughter, and she was so scared Cadance would hate her.
“Please,” the filly sobbed, barely a whisper. “Don’t hate me, Mummy. I don’t wan’ you to hate me.”
Her face softened and she pulled the child into a warm hug. “I could never hate you, Scootaloo. You’re my daughter. Nothing will ever change that.”
The filly sniffled. “Thank you.”
___________________________________________________________
Twilight exited the room, walked over to the chairs by the wall, sat down and sighed, her ears flat against her head. It had been three days since they’d learned about Scootaloo’s new spiritual being.
“Where is she?”
The alarmed and very familiar male voice caused Twilight to look up as her brother came bounding down the hall, heading for the door she’d just left.
Twilight’s horn glowed, encompassing her brother, stopping him inches from the door. “Twilight!” he said angrily, his legs running in midair as he tried to get out of her magical grip. “Let me go! I’ve gotta see Cadance and Scootaloo!”
Twilight sighed. This wasn’t going to be easy.
“No, Shining,” she said firmly. “First, you need to know exactly what’s going on.”
Her words and tone seemed to catch her brother off guard and he calmed down. Twilight lowered him to the ground and explained to him about what had happened; how Scootaloo was now two beings’ spirits merged into one and just how hard she was taking it that the other family she remembered not only thinks she’s dead, but that she would never be able to see them again.
“She has her memories as Scootaloo, but because they conflict with her other memories, she’s become withdrawn,” Twilight finished, and sighed. “She won’t let go of Cadance, not unless Cadance needs the bathroom, and even then, she stays right by her side, not letting her go. She keeps using the diapers she was supplied with at night because she doesn’t want to go on her own and doesn't want to wake Cadance from her sleep.”
Plus, during the changing times, they bond even more, so she feels closer.
Shining frowned. “Why? Scoots was never the clingy type. Well, aside from with Rainbow Dash.”
Twilight sighed, her eyes downcast. “She’s scared, Shiny. She’s feeling emotions that aren’t hers, but she doesn’t know which those are. She loves Cadance as any child loves their mother, but she also knows she loves the other mother she remembers having from the other world.”
Twilight slumped onto her haunches.
“At the same time she remembers her feelings towards everypony else, us, her friends, Rainbow Dash... and it scares her. She’s worried she won’t be able to keep those bonds because of what’s happened to her. She can’t even look at any of us when we visit. She just holds onto Cadance, every minute of every day. She even insists on Cadance sharing the bed with her. That’s how scared she is, Shining. The only pony she feels she can trust right now is Cadance and even being away from her for a short time scares her beyond anything anypony could imagine.”
Shining Armour scuffed a hoof against the floor. “Just... how bad is it?”
Tears leaked from Twilight’s eyes and slid down her muzzle. “One time, Cadance left to handle some of the paper work for some of those meetings she’s missed since she’s been here since Scootaloo ended up in hospital.”
Shining nodded, indicating for her to go on.
Twilight sniffled. “When she came back, Scootaloo was wrapped up in a ball, whimpering. As soon as Cadance came over to hug her, Scootaloo clung to her as if she was afraid Cadance would disappear.”
Shining’s eyes widen, then he looked down. “It’s... that bad?”
Twilight nodded, then slumped back in her chair, her head held low. “I feel so useless. I’m the Princess of Friendship and inside that room is a filly that desperately needs the help of her friends, but there’s nothing I can do about it.”
Shining Armour walked over and took his sister in a one legged hug. “Twily, none of us could’ve known something like this would happen.”
“But I...” Twilight began, but a look from her brother made her looked down again and sigh. “I just wish I could do something.”
Shining tightened his hug. “So do I, Twily,” he said solemnly. “Scoots is my daughter, since I married Cadance, but from what you’ve said, I wouldn’t be much help. Scoots and I always got along, but if she doesn’t even want to be with Rainbow Dash right now, I’m not likely to be in the good standings either. All we can do is hope that she gets better and we can all try to be a family again.”
___________________________________________________________
I slammed into the wall, staring up at my mother. I was back in the human world, in my house, but something was wrong. My parents, brothers and sisters were all glaring down at me, my mother having just thrown me against said wall.
Wincing as I rubbed my head, I looked up at them all in shock. “why;re you all doing this to me? I’m your son and big brother!”
My mum slapped my face, hard. “You’re not my child! You’re nothing but a freak!”
I stared at her, slowly raising my hand to my cheek. It felt... furry. I moved my hand and saw orange fur growing all over it. I looked all over me. I was naked and orange fur was growing over my whole body, my private area seeming to just be bear space covered in fur. I grabbed at my hair and, pulling a bit down to my eyes, I saw it was purple. My eyes widened in horror and I just knew they’d changed from blue to magenta.
I stared at them all in horror. I’d... I’d become an anthropomorphic version of Scootaloo.
My family just glared at me. “Like I said,” my mum snarled, “you’re not my child.”
Suddenly the world went black and I was standing in the throne room of Canterlot Castle. Everypony was there, the mane six, Luna, Celestia, Shining Armour and Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. They were all glaring at me in disgust. But where was Cadance, my mother.
The doors behind me slammed open and I whirled around to see mum standing there, glaring at me just like my human family had. She walked in, going right passed me.
I turned to her, tears welling in my eyes as my heart already ached from my human family disowning me, only to get harsh glares and silence from my pony one.
“Mum,” I whispered, my voice sounding like both my human self and Scootaloo. “Did I do something wrong? Why are you so angry? Don’t you love me?”
She stopped, giving me hope, until she looked over her shoulder, her glare so fierce it could’ve melted a mountain. “Love you?” she spat. “I can’t even bear to look at you, you monstrous freak!”
My eyes widened and my heart shattered. She... she didn’t love me? My own mother... didn’t love me?
I broke down, falling to my knees, tears streaming down my face as I wailed in the middle of the throne room.
“Guards!” Mum barked and a squad of Royal Guards surrounded me. “Take this thing to the dungeon and never let it see the let of day again!”
“At once, princess,” they nodded, all turning to me with disgusted looks on their faces.
This couldn’t be real. This couldn’t be real. This. Couldn’t. Be. Real!
___________________________________________________________
I screamed, sitting up, my body covered in sweat, my breathing erratic.
“Honey?” I looked up to see Mum looking down at me, a worried look on her face. “Scootaloo, what’s wrong? Did you have a bad dream?”
I couldn’t answer her. Hearing her voice filled with worry meant she loved me. She loved me. It had all been a dream. I bury my face into her fur, crying silently as she wrapped her wings around me and held me.
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FIMFic Quality Control Task Force
Handler: FF-Hauptsturmführer Parasprite
Story name: Finding Myself as a Flightless Filly
Author: Autism Breeze
Primary flaws: Self-insert on an unimaginable scale in which the author pretends to be named Autumn Breeze in real life as a human.
Secondary flaws: General English failure.
Rating: 3/10
Reviewer comments:
4644898
wrong. discord calls me autum for the sack of me not using my real name in this fic. and luna did the same.
4514987 could you let me know when it's out. i'm curious to see it
So it's a shameless self-insert fic?
4645325
do you not see the emotional turmoil scootaloo is going through? How is that shameless? Shameless would've been human finds himself in scootaloo's body and doesn't give a damn!~
4648108 Given that the description implies it's about a brony that just so happens to write fan fiction, just so happens to share your username, and it's in the first person, yes, I would consider it a shameless self-insert.
4648108 So it's a shameless self-insert.
4648108
Oh. Oh god.
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4648782
what was that image meant to mean anyway?
4645325
4648723
what do you mean by shameless? thinking it over i'm now really confused.
4648818
Yo, why do you hate freedom of speech?
I made a valid argument, should I say it again?
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/damn-it-feels-good-to-be-a-gangster.jpg
>YFW deleting mean comments.
4648830 As in the character is supposed to actually be you. It's generally a bad thing to write.
4648837 okay, you have a point there in some aspects and if I delete mean comments it's because the last time i let someone be mean to me they became dbags, so it was a precautionary measure i took just in case you were the same kind of person.
i do apologize for jumping to that conclusion
4648818
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4648830
Shameless in the fact that, instead of following typical story-writing advice and creating an endearing character from scratch, you decided to throw yourself into the story and avoid all that effort.
It's shameless, because a self-insert is an excessively cheap way out of otherwise putting effort into character creation. If it's you, you already know how you think, so how difficult could it be to write you in that situation?
That's how it's shameless.
4648890
Your 'precaution' only makes you out to be the douchebag, not the guy commenting. If you leave their comments alone, people will stick up for you if said douchery is unfounded. It also depends on how you, yourself, handle it, and deleting the comment isn't too mature.
Leave the comments alone. Let the people laugh at them. Let the people support you.
4648912 well, while you might be right there in some areas, both scoots and the human's minds are one. both of them think for the same being. that is where this isn't shamless, because it provides a new outlook for both of them.
instead of just brony in pony body getting to be in equestria, it's a human who's mind has merged with said pony and they both now occupy the same body
4648927
...Which is still shameless, as you're still taking the work out of characterization. All you do is use Scootaloo and yourself. Brony in Equestria is a flawed premise from the start, as it basically devolves - in the public eye - into wish fulfillment.
If you really want people to overlook this, then you had better make damn sure to make yourself as interesting as possible.
4648963 i'll do my best, though, since everyone seems to already think this is a bad idea (aside from those who've liked and Favorited and left nice comments) i'm not sure if i can please them. i will try though
LOVE IT WRITE MORE!!!!!!!
4648980
Can't please everyone. Just keep it in mind that people will not look very highly on a self-insert, no matter how you try to justify it.
This is so good right now, the i think i have my missing piece, the only thing which i missed was, the explanation that he is not fully her daughter.
Now i think i add the story to my list again and hope there is a new chapter again.
I don´t want you to change the fact that she holds onto Cadance so bad to fast, but i would like it if even for only a short while Shining or better Sweetiebell and Applebloom would try to speak with her a bit or just talk to her a bit. I think of it as a simple try to let her get used to them. To be honest i don´t need to much of Shining armor, but maybe in your Story Shining is not as bad as .....well somehow i don´t like him that much. (I missed the episode and only get bad fanfic with him.)
4818192 exactly what i wrote. if i saw so many died because of something i did, i'd feel just as horrible as the me in this fic did. if anyone or anypony else in that situation didn't feel the same way, they have no soul
This is getting both dark and good. I actually fear for your/Scootaloo's sanity.
I hope you/Scootaloo start to get more at ease. I will continue to read I need to know what happens
A human's name is Autum Breeze...... Legitimate enough. Remember when I said I wouldn't want to read this anymore? I lied!
I want to read this, but I'm worried about the "Sex" tag.
5328202 it's just for references. don't worry, there's no actual sex in the story
Wheee, Deus ex Machina! You're relying a bit too much on Luna to solve conflict and provide exposition. Granted, she is like that in the show, but different media require different tropes.
For the "burned to ash, cannot go back" plot point, I shall refer you to the ending of the Dies Irae:
Need...moarrrrr!!!!!!!!!!
Why do you seem to inclined to have gore in your stories? This story would be more popular without giving faka scootaloo nightmares about the future.
Soooo is this ever gonna be continued?
Hope to see updates in the near future.
You have captured my attention with this story.
You must continue this... you must... don't hang us out to dry! I... need... more!!!
I'm putting a fave on this. I want to see where it goes.
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I really want to hurt discord.
6368789 .... I concur...... NOW COMMENCING OPERATION: C.H.A.O.S.F.A.L.L!
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