Mending Light

by Kiromancer

48 - Alone Again

The dark smoke dissipated slowly, as if the magic itself was stubbornly clinging to this world, but eventually it faded entirely. In its wake stood Firetail, Or at least, his body.

The earth pony's dim white coat had once glowed in the flames of the forge, now it had been washed out in a pale blue, disturbingly similar to my own coat, but his mane a bright sky blue. He removed the gaudy plumed helmet and set it down at his hooves, looking around the gathered ponies.

I cringed. I glanced down at my hooves, the idle horror passing through my mind of just how easily he'd done that. Firetail had died, Broken Tooth dragging his mind, his spirit, his self screaming into the same magical abyss that had consumed the dragon. To the others, it must have seemed like he'd only collapsed, but they hadn't been able to see things like I had.

Bellerophon stretched his neck, tilting his head back then forth. "Ahhh. Such an odd feeling. Another unfamiliar body, and no wings. That shall take time to adjust to."

Amethyst Vein and the others, save perhaps Old Ed, all stared on with wide eyes. At last, Amethyst lifted a spear and cautiously stepped forward, voice betraying her doubt. "Is this a trick? Who are you? Firetail? Lord Bellerophon? I... I won't let this farce repeat."

He stepped forward towards the tip of her blade, bending down on his forelegs to kneel and letting the tip of the spear all but rest against his throat. "I was once Swift Wing, who took the title Lord Bellerophon, First Knight of Queen Tapioca, Justicar of Ostfriesen. But now, I renounce all those titles, all those legacies, and bow to you."

Amethyst Vein let the spear drop from his throat. "You are Lord Bellerophon. Y-you can't just renounce! We need you! You're—"

"I'm an old fool, who let his anger rule him for far too long." Bellerophon rose once more, but kept his head bowed respectfully. "I will be a guide, Lady Amethyst, but little more. I wish to see Olymponis restored, but not through war and conquest as Firetail wished, nor the bloodshed which Broken Tooth intended."

Old Ed laughed from his position against the stone bench, he tried to rise, but a cough wracked his body, sending him back down. Still, he spoke firmly, a far cry from the old guard who'd first met us at the gate. "I've served your family line as long as I can remember. Always, you've treated your position with respect, and those under your rule, fairly. I would serve no other, be they noble lord or prophesied hero."

"On that, I agree. No more prophecies." Bellerophon looked up. "No more oracles. It is time that you simply do what is best for Olymponis, and its people."

Amethyst shook her head. "I don't even know where to begin. I'm no noble, I'm just..." She turned to look out at the soldiers who'd come with her to battle. Wounded, tired, they'd all stopped to watch.

"What do they need?" Bellerophon asked.

She pursed her lips. "Food. Good food, better than the scraps and mushrooms we've had. Supplies too, so we can repair the city. We also lack good healers and medicine."

Bellerophon smiled. "You know better than I what your people want. What they need. I will help." He let out a sigh, and sounded tired beyond just exhaustion. "For as long as necessary."

Amethyst Vein lowered her head. She closed her eyes, and no one spoke in the pregnant silence. "Very well."

I started as a sudden cheer filled the chamber. Bellerophon was a mythical savior to them, a figure of hope, but Amethyst Vein was one of them, and it seemed she was much more than just a title.

There wouldn’t be anymore bloodshed, at least. My mind started to drift towards the images of the dead, but I shook my head.

“And you.” Amethyst Vein stepped towards me. “You have our thanks. You returned Lord Bellerophon to us, and through him, delivered us from this oppression. We owe you much.”

I stepped back, “You don’t owe me anything. I... I’m just glad it’s over.”

“Nothing? Surely, we can find something for you. Some weapon, or armor. The old vaults still have some items from the Forge. A new hoofblade, or perhaps a—”

“N-no, please. Nothing.” My head dipped away. “I don’t want anything.”

Starshadow cleared her throat, stepping between us. “What Night means to say is that we accept your offer most humbly, but our journey home will be quite difficult. If you could see to our supply needs, that would be an incredible boon.”

Amethyst Vein nodded, though her eyes continued to watch me, some disappointment in here gaze. “As I’ve said, we haven’t a great deal of foodstuffs, though I believe we may find plenty of good rations when we examine the quarters where Firetail’s rabble were housed.”

Starshadow bowed, “Whatever you can spare will be more than enough, Thank you Lady Amethyst.”

“Dame Starshadow, a moment.” Bellerophon set a hoof to his jaw, pondering. “I do not believe there would be reason for you and your sister to return to Equestria.”

“What do you mean?” Starshadow raised an eyebrow.

Merriweather moved up alongside her sister, not quite limping, but definitely still not to one hundred percent. “Yeah, Belly? I was exiled. For sleeping with err… well, you? Kinda gross now that you’re in there.”

He nodded. “Precisely. The accusations made against you, Dame Merriweather, can now be cleared quite decisively. In fact, your part in this battle shall surely prove that you had Ostfriesen’s best interests in mind—not only in preventing civil war, but in securing a new ally. I am certain your Queen will be very pleased to hear of your exploits.”

Merri bit her lip, glancing over at Star. “Sis’… do you think...?”

“Very likely, yes.” Star’s head tilted upwards, her eyes closed. “With Bellerophon’s unique circumstances and the considerable evidence of Firetail’s misdeeds, there is almost certainly enough evidence to clear your name.”

“Oh… well, that’s uh, great, eh Sis’?” Merri smiled, but her voice didn’t exactly sound enthusiastic. “We can go home.”

“Even in the meantime, I am sure that Regent Amethyst would be willing to allow you to stay here.” Bellerophon glanced at Amethyst Vein, who nodded in response. I doubted there was much Bellerophon could ask for which she wouldn’t allow him at this moment.

Still, it was sobering. We’d come all this way to save Merri, and we’d done it, but, she wouldn’t be coming back with us. I suppose that was good for her and Star, this was their home, after all. If there was anything I could appreciate about their situation now, it was the homesickness.

We’d not even been gone that long, and I wanted to be home in Equestria. Ostfriesen was beautiful in many ways, but so frightening and strange in others. If I were Merri or Star, I’d surely feel the same about Equestria.

Merri took a breath and nodded. “Well, good. Everything turned out great, then. We got Night all de-possessed, and we get to go home.”

Star frowned. “Sister, are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. We’ve done more harm than good in Equestria, anyway. I mean, first Terra, then Flurry.” Merri looked towards me with an apologetic smile. “It’s been awhile since I’ve been properly pampered anyways.”

“Very well, then.” Star returned to her more formal pose, dipping her head. “I am honored, Lord Bellerophon, that you would make such a consideration on our behalf, but I am afraid I must decline.”

Merri nodded gravely, then tilted her head as what Star said registered. “Wait, what? Sis’?”

Starshadow turned back to her sister with a smile. “I long to see home, and it would do my heart good to know that I could return someday. For that, I would be most thankful. However, for now, my sister and I have found a new home in Equestria. It may not be where we were born, or what we are familiar with, but it is quite peaceful, and we have found ourselves quite fortunate to have several wonderful friends. Friends who are willing to cross over deadly badlands, fight terrible creatures, and brave the darkest of situations to save those they love. It would be a disservice to abandon them.”

“Sis’…” Merri looked at me once again and nodded, then gave Dusky a wink. “You guys are too much~.”

For as exhausted as she looked, Dusky managed a smile in return. “If you want to be pampered, I’ll take you to the Ponyville spa once we’re home.”

Merri laughed. “It’s a deal.”

---

“Dusky?” Starshadow stood watching her carefully. “Are you okay?”

Exhausted, disgusted, so completely over our limits, Amethyst Vein had us escorted to the sleeping quarters in the Keep, where Firetail’s loyalists had been housed. Though it was a far cry from home, the clean room and beds were welcome sights for all of us. Honestly, I was too tired to care where they’d put us, and more than a little distracted by the blessed experience of being alone with my thoughts.

To complicate things further, Dusky had insisted she lead a group out of the mountain to recover the patrol mare we’d tied up on the journey in. The mare had been alive, if not terribly happy, but she’d recover. Dusky had returned, and much like the rest of us, she’d immediately gone to the bed, exhausted.

Now, Dusky stirred to face Star, her expression distant. “Yeah, sorry. I must have zoned out a bit.”

Star bowed her head. “Perhaps it was too soon to go out.”

I shifted to look past her, to study Dusky carefully. She looked awful, face tired and coat messy, but that reflected all of us at this point. There was something else, though—a look I’d started to notice in her eyes when she had been dwelling on something. Something was bothering her, and I’d been too tired to notice, causing a pang of guilt.

Dusky shook her head. “No, that mare had already been tied up for nearly two days. If one of us hadn’t guided the rescue party, it might have been too late. Besides, I’m not the one who had to fight off an ancient dragon’s super magic.”

In the bed behind me, Merri spoke up. “Is that what’s bothering you?”

Dusky almost slumped in place, letting out a tired sigh. “You could say that. I was able to guess what was going on at times, but when things got more intense, it was like trying to watch an invisible fight. There was nothing I could do—I was kind of just... there.”

“I’m glad you were there!” I shifted forward in the bed, to look at her, speaking before I thought. I felt the heat rise in my face as I tried to gather my thoughts. “I… I mean, wh-when Broken Tooth was attacking me, I thought I might break, but just knowing you were there… it made me stronger.”

“Thanks, Night.” Some of that worry seemed to fall away as she grinned. Her gaze lingered on me, almost as if she had more to say, but all it it did was make me blush harder.

Star interrupted the moment, drawing Dusky’s attention back. “If you want an explanation, I can give you one, but the details are a bit complex.”

Merri snickers. “Just leave all the in-depth spell theory out, Sis’, geez.”

With a dark look, Star rolled her eyes at Merri. “I was not going to go in depth.”

It was a moment of annoyance that I could relate to, in a way. Star was nothing like her sister, and those differences were pronounced at times, even causing conflict, but as much as Merri poked fun at Star, the two still loved each other deeply. I couldn’t help but smile, an image of my own sisters coming to mind.

Dusky was smiling wider as well, watching the two. “I’d appreciate it.”

Star nodded and assumed a more somber expression. “It all began with a mind-link spell. It was a stronger version than any I have heard of. More dangerous as well.”

I shuddered. The Dragon’s very presence had been like an inky blackness in my head, and worse—when I’d been out of my body.

Dusky seemed just as affected, and I almost wanted to ask what it’d felt like from the outside. “You’re talking about the results of the final clash?”

“Precisely.” Star pursed her lips. “From what I could observe, there was no limit on the amount of energy that could pass between the link, something that could result in a long list of feedback accidents—or what Broken Tooth did. No sane mage would willingly employ such a spell.”

“Then that dumbass replicated the spell without knowing what it was.” Merri settled back down into her bed, stretching.

“The case for his sanity was always questionable at best.” Star sighed, shaking her head. “Somehow, I do not think knowing would have stopped him.”

There was one glaring issue with all of that, though, which struck me out of the blue. “Wait, wasn’t Firetail an earth pony?”

Dusky flinched, and gave me a strange, apologetic look. “He was a Shadow Walker. They sacrifice part of themselves to wield powerful magic, regardless of species, race, or natural ability.”

Star closed her eyes. “In Ostfriesen, they are known as Warlocks.”

“Or Soul Strippers or Hornless Hexers,” Merri called out.

Star turned back towards us with a sigh. “Could you be serious for a second?”

“I am! Those names are what they are for a reason!”

I shuddered. Bellerophon had been extremely skilled, even without magic, but the cost for that power was… annihilation. To inflict it on yourself, willingly? “Why? Why would anypony ever do that?”

Dusky strained. “Because for some people, power is the only thing that matters.”

Power as its own ends. Even at the expense of who they were? The spell Broken Tooth had weaved was as insidious as the dragon was insane. The idea of a pony willingly giving up a part of themselves for that kind of power was just as insane, yet I’d just lived through the proof of it.

Star cleared her throat before she spoke again, but I couldn’t look up at her as she continued. “Anyway, these connections, dangerous as they were, would theoretically allow him to transfer his mind—an act that could shatter it in several ways.”

Shattered. Lost. Destroyed. I’d seen the edge of that abyss. I’d clawed at it, desperate and terrified. What power was worth even risking that kind of fate? The claustrophobia of being so far underground was nothing compared to the unease that ate at my mind as they spoke.

Dusky grew quiet. “Seems like hardly an obstacle when he was insane from the start.”

“Quite likely.” Star continued onward like a professor giving a lesson. “In fact, I am convinced that Bellerophon’s transfer to the bracer was his prototype for this task. As for Firetail, like the brute he was, he only used the channel to throw around his weight. Once Broken Tooth was wounded, it became clear just who was the real master of that tactic.”

Dusky’s shifted. “But not master enough to win against you, Merri and Bellerophon, right?”

In the bed behind me, I heard Merri cough.

Star laughed quietly. “Were that so, we would not have struggled so much. We were on the defensive the entire time, weathering the storm. What happened to Broken Tooth, he did to himself. I cannot say for certain, but while Old Ed hit a vital spot, the wound was not so deep as to be inevitably fatal. Had he been able to seek help, it is possible he would have survived. But, by then, he had already turned his allies against him. Even if he had not, I somehow do not think he would have accepted aid from the ponies he so hated. Instead, he seemed to draw from his life force, much like Firetail, converting all of it into magic. I very much believe that when he said he was going to take us all with him, he fully intended to destroy everypony and everything in that room.”

Everyone would have died, because of me. Every step of this journey had been because of a decision I’d made, a choice I’d made, hoping to be stronger, hoping that I could do something. Most disturbing of all was just how accustomed I'd grown to the thought that Bellerophon had become a part of me. I'd gotten so used to it, it had felt normal. I was no better than Firetail, and that horrified me. In that moment, I just needed to get out of there before I screamed.

I stood from the bed slowly, shakily. "I... I need to step outside… s-sorry." Without waiting for a response, I moved out the door of the guest quarters.

Were I back home, I'd find a cloud and take it as high as I could and hide up in the atmosphere, as close to the moon as I could get. Here, underneath a mountain with no sky, no weather, I felt lost. I weaved through the corridor blindly, until I reached a balcony of some sort, but the view did nothing to help.

Tired, scared, and disgusted with myself, I curled up and let all the emotion bottled up inside me vent out into sobs. I didn't even hear the hoofsteps as they approached.

"I'm sorry." Dusky sat next to me, brushing a wing across my back.

"Y-you're sorry?" It was so ludicrous, I had to laugh. With entirely too much effort, I pushed myself up onto my haunches, glancing over at her. "This... this is all my fault. If I hadn't been so reckless, so stupid, a lot of ponies wouldn't be... wouldn't be d-dead."

Dusky lowered her head. "That's not your fault. This was going to end in violence, one way or another. I just hope that bringing Bellerophon here saved more lives than were lost."

I nodded, but it was easy enough to say that. There were still the lives I knew had been taken. There was that guard, the first to fall, when the guards had approached us in the hall, and I'd given Bellerophon control. I gave him my body. He'd done what he had to, but I'd known exactly what he was planning and still I'd given him control. I couldn't shake the guilt.

He wasn't the first pony I'd killed, White Riot would always stand out as the first life I'd taken. This pony, though I would never learn his name, would always stand out to me. I hadn't killed him myself, but I had just as surely allowed him to die.

"Night? Night, it's okay. Just take a deep breath, alright?" Dusky's wing stretched out once more, wrapping around to embrace me.

I took a deep breath. In, then out. "I came so close to losing it all, Dusky. I didn't even know what it would be like, to just... t-to let go, to lose myself, and then... then when everything was over, he was standing there, in Firetail, and... th-that could have been me."

Dusky's wing hug quickly turned into a full hug. "But it's not. It's over now."

"Y-yeah. Yeah." I slumped in her grasp. "I... I wanted this. I thought, this would make me worthwhile, make me a better pony. Part of me believed it... p-part of me believed maybe... maybe I should just let Bellerophon take control."

"That's not true." Her voice grew quiet as she squeezed tight. "That's your old self-doubt talking. When it starts saying that, just remember that you're Night Light, and there's no one else I would rather you be than yourself."

She was right. Through all that fear, deep down, I was still myself. Bellerophon was gone and I was still Night Light. I hugged back, just letting the warmth of her body press against me. There was still a lot of pain. I wouldn’t get over what I’d seen, what I’d experienced, but despite all that, I’d emerged intact.

I wasn’t alone, either. It wasn't Bellerophon who had given me strength. It had been my friends. When I'd struggled upon the edge, it was Merri and Star who had rushed to my aid, their magic at the ready. Most of all, it was Dusky who had given me a reason to live. I gave her a squeeze, words unable to convey how I felt, but my mouth trying to fill in what was in my heart. "Y-you're amazing, you know that? You always know just what to say to make me feel better."

"I'm glad."

"Dusky? Will you... I mean, do you think you and I could..." I bit back the words. I was never one to speak rashly, but in that moment, I wanted to know she would always be there for me. I wanted so badly for that hug to never end, but this was not the place. We were deep underground, and emotions were still too tense, even now that everything was over. I would never associate this place with a pleasant memory, too much death and misery clung to it. I didn't want to burden my feelings with the weight of all that.

Dusky nuzzled against me, urging me on. "Do I think we could what?"

I blinked. If not that, then what? I couldn't ask her what I wanted, not here, not now. It wasn't right. I wasn't ready, not really. What I wanted was to be with her always, but for now, perhaps, there was more I could do.

"T-train." The idea surprised me as it came out of my mouth, and I still couldn't keep myself from blushing. "Train together. Y-you know. You and me. Together, um, sparring. If... if I really want to be prepared, that is. I, we... we should probably... um... train together?"

Dusky kept her head resting against mine. "Mmm. I'm no trainer like your sister. I don't know how well I could teach you, but it might not be a bad idea."

"R-really? Then... we should do it?"

"I don't see why not." She slipped back and grinned. "I don't usually have a sparring partner, it could be good for both of us."

That smile, it had been too long since I'd seen it. If felt like forever, since we'd left for Ostfriesen at the very least. It was that smile that told me everything was actually going to be okay now. Somehow, we'd crossed this dangerous land, we'd faced down a dragon, and survived a revolution. Merri was safe. My mind was my own again, and we had each other.

I smiled back at her. "Dusky, I love you." Those were words I would never grow tired repeating.

"I love you too, Night Light." And those were words I would never grow tired hearing.

Comments

[Yami Vizzini]

Here's hoping Night won't be so prone to blaming himself now for all the crap others are putting him and his friends through.