Filly Love
(Author's note: This chapter contains a horrible, horrible joke. If you're offended by it, I'm sorry. I couldn't help myself. You'll know it when you get there.)
So, lemme get this straight," Rainbow Dash tried to choke back further laughter to continue. "So Zecora is in the clinic right now because Applebloom's got a crush on her? You gotta explain this one!" The pegasus was sitting at a table in the Apple Family's barn, her friends sitting at the table with her. This little gathering was supposed to only be a friend's-night-in at the Apple Family HOUSE, but Pinkie had, of course, insisted it get all the party trimmings. Applejack wasn't willing to subject her home to the kind of chaos that could sometimes come with a Pinkie Pie Party, so she elected the barn as a martyr to the cause.
"Yup, and this one's a story and a half! Ya'll're gonna love it." Applejack waited for the rest of them to stop laughing. This was a once in a lifetime tale, the kind you tell your kids, and then your grandkids, and so on and so forth. The farm-mare wanted everyone to hear this.
"Hey, Flutterklutz, you okay?" Gilda wiped a tear from the corner of her right eye, catching her breath.
Fluttershy wilted a bit, looking down, to the side. "It's just... This doesn't seem very funny to me. Zecora is hurt..." Gilda tried not to express how happy she was that the zebra was incapacitated, and just gave her fillyfriend a squeeze.
"Hey, Hey, it's cool. She's not, like, dying or anything. We'll all laugh about it later anyway!" Gilda grinned at Fluttershy, but that grin faded as the pony sighed. "Aww, c'mon..."
"Don't you worry, Fluttershy, it's nothin' serious. She's jus' bruised and stressed out, is all," Applejack reassured her meek friend. "She'll be right as rain in a few days. 'Sides, I'm sure she gits how silly she's been about this, and she'll be laughin' right along with us soon enough." That got Fluttershy to smile. When they heard a throat clearing, they all looked over to a very confused Twilight.
"I'm feeling kinda left out here, girls. What's so funny about this? I don't get it. Zecora is hurt, and we're laughing about it? I agree with Fluttershy. That's wrong." She folded her fore-legs with a stern look, making Applejack and Dash wince. The cyan pegasus poked Twilight with a hoof.
"C'mon, Twi. Give it a chance. You know Applejack, she wouldn't be laughing about this if it was that bad."
"Well, I guess not, but-"
"Nah ah, egghead, no buts here. Unless it's yours, then I'm cool with that." Twilight blinked for a second, clearly not understanding the innuendo, causing Dash to facehoof.
"Twilight, she means your flanks!" Pinkie helpfully shouted out. Pinkie didn't know the meaning of 'indoor voice'. Or she did and just didn't care. Either one was equally plausible with her. Twilight Sparkle flushed a dark purple in her cheeks and lowered her head, her ears flattening to her skull out of embarrassment.
"Oh..." That sent up a new chorus of laughter, one Rainbow didn't join in this time. She just hugged her mare, and smirked.
"My wife, the most adorkable pony in existence. Okay, AJ. You were sayin'?" Applejack nodded and leaned back against a bale of hay, beginning to spin her tale.
---
Now, le's git one thing straight here. Ah gotta lot of respect for Zecora, past misunderstandin's aside. She's a very wise mare, and a big help ta Ponyville, with her remedies and such. But Ah guess everypony's got their weaknesses, and no matter how wise ya are, yer always gonna run into some problem ya don't know how ta deal with. Zecora met her match with a little somethin' we call... Filly love. Ya know the story, a foal gits a big crush on somepony, and is totally convinced that they're gonna be together forever, no matter how ridiculous it is. Then a week or so later, they plumb forgit about that and go after someone else.
Well, apparently, zebras don't git that kinda thing. So when Applebloom trotted into her hut and announced that she was gonna marry Zecora, the poor mare thought she was completely serious! Well, she WAS serious, jus'... Ya know. So Zecora tried to explain why it wouldn't work. "Applebloom, this cannot be. You are, by far, too young for me." Applebloom is a clever little filly, don't let anyone tell ya otherwise. She jus' gits a little over-eager sometimes. And when she gits her mind set to somethin', she won't let nopony tell her otherwise. ... Rarity, you can stop givin' me that look.
Anyway, so Applebloom wasn't gonna be put out by that, so she told Zecora, "Well, Ah'm gonna make a potion that'll make me old enough!" And she started pullin' books off the shelves ta find somethin'. Zecora was about beside herself. She didn't know what ta do, which is pretty funny, considerin' she has to deal with my little sister on a regular basis. Zecora started shelving books as fast as Applebloom could take 'em down, but the filly didn't even notice! She jus' found a growth potion in one of the books. Zecora managed ta git it away from her, but by that time Applebloom didn't need it no more, or so she thought. She hopped up on a table, grabbed a few ingredients from Zecora's stores, and then started gittin' ta work.
She about got that brew goin' before Zecora put a stop ta that foolishness! She got Applebloom by the tail and put her outside. Gave her a good scoldin'. Poor little filly got all sulky and went on her way, and Zecora? Well, she still thought she had a problem. She was right, but not the kinda problem she thought. See, Applebloom got those ingredients together, but they were the wrong ones. That cauldron was jus' a bubblin', and Zecora just managed to slam the door and wipe sweat off her brow before she noticed.
And then it exploded.
---
"Oh, that's positively dreadful!" Rarity dramatically swept a forehoof up to her head.
Fluttershy nodded. "That's not funny at all... I-I mean... It isn't to me..." The pegasus looked up to Gilda, who shrugged, then to Applejack. "She must be badly hurt...!"
"Huh? What? Naw, Fluttershy, it didn't hurt her at all. Lemme finish, now!"
---
See, when that brew exploded, Ah didn't mean like with fire. No, it exploded with COLOR. Zecora found herself a lot more flashy than she was a few seconds ago. All of her stripes turned different colors, and-
---
"Oh yea! I remember that! When she came into town I was all like, GASP! You're like a rainbow zebra! You need a new name!" Pinkie enthusiastically waved her fore-legs in the air. "I said her name should be Fruit Stripe because all the colors reminded me of fruits but she didn't like it. So I said, don't worry, it won't last long anyway and she just gave me this look and walked off! I think she was mad but I dunno why! And then I-"
Applejack stuffed a hoof against Pinkie's Muzzle. "Hey, who's tellin' this story, you or me?"
"Sorry, Applejack," Pinkie said with an embarrassed grin. "I just got a little excited."
"Ah forgive ya, Pinkie, but lemme keep talkin'."
---
Where was I? Oh yea. Now, Zecora was all kinds of mad about her stripes, but she didn't figure she had time to think up somethin' ta do away with that. Naw, she wanted to git to talkin' ta Big Mac. Well, that was too bad, since Big Mac had to go to Halter's Way to deliver some apples out there, and he was runnin' a little late comin' back. Somethin' about a pie eatin' contest. But anyway, Ah was the only one around. This is pretty important, since it meant that Zecora got scared. Ah'll be honest, sure, I can have a temper sometimes when it involves my little sister. But would Ah really bite her head off or somethin'? Apparently, she thought so. So she was standing there on the edge of the orchard, watchin' me buck apples, tryin' ta think of what ta do. Now, Ah thought this was more than jus' a little creepy, and... Now, this is the good part.
Ah thought Zecora was watchin' me because she had a crush on me or somethin'. So we're jus' started a parade of crazy here. Yea, yea, cut it up, gryphon. Anypony woulda made that mistake! So, Ah did a few more trees, tryin' ta ignore her, until Ah couldn't take it no more, and Ah went up to her. Ah looked a little mad, Ah'm sure, and that jus' made things worse. But hay, she was watchin' me fer ten minutes straight! She backed up a little, but Ah wasn't havin' none of her runnin' away! Ah asked her, "What's the big idea, stalkin' me like that?" Well, she explained herself, and Ah thought it was the cutest thing. Ah mean, it's jus' filly love. Ain't no big deal! But she thought it was one, so Ah tried to explain to her that it was just a harmless crush, and she wasn't really gonna git married.
Zecora was relieved, but she said ta me, "Please do not think of me as weepy, but I find her affection slightly creepy." Well, okay, Ah guess Ah could git that. Culture shock and all. Ah told her Ah'd talk ta Applebloom and git her ta lay off, but Ah had to finish up my work first. My first mistake was assumin' Ah could talk Applebloom outta anythin'. My second mistake was leavin' Zecora there when Applebloom coulda been home at any moment. Come ta think of it, Ah dunno what was wrong with me at that point. Ah guess Ah jus' thought she was bein' a little silly and she should jus' deal with it. So Ah went back to my buckin'. That's when Ah heard it.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ELOPERS, YAY!"
---
"Oh my Celestia. That's... That's awesome." Dash cracked up, and even Fluttershy had to stiffle a giggle. Twilight smiled widely, and rolled her eyes.
"Those fillies are going to be the death of us one day. But they're so cute!" Twilight leaned onto the rainbow pegasus, who was attempting to recover from her bout of chortling. "You know, maybe we should think about foals, Dash..." That got Rainbow to stop laughing real quick, and it was her turn for her cheeks to turn deep red. Gilda shot a cat call her way, and the pegasus glared in return.
---
As Ah was sayin', the Cutie Mark Crusaders jus' popped out from around a tree, and rushed right up to Zecora. Ah coulda sworn those three weren't anywhere around Sweet Apple Acres, but they're always up ta somethin', so Ah can't rightly say. Now, Zecora was startled and she went for cover, but in the process, she smacked right into a tree that Ah hadn't got to yet. Good thing too, since it had a bee's nest in it. And they weren't too happy about bein' disturbed. So the Cutie Mark Crusaders high-tailed it for cover, forgittin' about their plan to foalnap a zebra, and Zecora took off for the barn, lickety sizzle.
Now, ya heard that yer supposed to run to a pond, or lake, or somethin' when ya got bees chasin' ya? Well, Ah yelled out for Zecora to try ta make it to the creek that runs next ta our orchard-
---
"Actually, depending on the variety of bees, they might just wait for you to come up for air. The killer bee, for instance, will swarm for hours over the spot that you dove into. This shouldn't imply intelligence on their part, they're merely angry and will continue to swarm and - Wh-What? Why are you all staring at me...? D-Did I say something wrong?" Fluttershy started to fidget, blushing as she hid behind her mane. "I... I just thought you should know. Bee swarms can... Can be very dangerous..." Gilda put a claw slowly over her own chest, as if expecting a heart attack any moment now.
"Ah didn't know that, Fluttershy. Thank ya. But please, don't interrupt." Applejack gave her a patient smile, before continuing.
---
So, Ah told her ta go fer the creek. But she went the opposite way, runnin' as fast as her legs could take her. Ah knew Ah had ta do somethin' about them bees, but Ah didn't know what. Ah chased after Zecora ta try and help her, but the Crusaders got there first. Applebloom kinda figured that what she heard about bees and water jus' meant bees hate water. Which is why she had a bucket of water, and why she tossed that water out of the bucket and drenched Zecora.
Funny thing is, that saved her from a lotta pain. She couldn't see where she was headin' due to, well, bein' splashed with water, and she tripped over a hoe somepony, Ah'm guessin' Granny Smith, left out. It smacked her right in the face, and she got all dizzy and tripped into the house's cellar, right through the door. One of Zecora's hooves caught on the latch and it slammed shut jus' before the bees got in there with her.
Now, after Ah got the pest spray and dealt with the bees... Don't worry, Fluttershy, it was jus' a special formula ta knock 'em all silly, Ah didn't hurt 'em... I went down ta check on Zecora. She got knocked silly, and had a big purple bruise on her forehead, but she was fine otherwise. Ah asked her, and Ah swear, this is the truth, and Ah swear, Ah ain't specist or nothin'. Ah asked her, "Zecora, why didn't ya jus' go fer the creek like Ah said?" She gave me the flattest look Ah've ever seen, even from you, Twilight, and she said, "I did not avoid it on a whim, the truth is: I cannot swim." And Ah tell you what. Celestia forgive me, Ah laughed. Ah fell down right there, and I started laughin' so hard Ah couldn't breath.
---
Rarity's jaw dropped, and she gave Applejack an incredulous stare for a few moments. Applejack blinked, and tilted her head to one side. "What?"
"Applejack! How could you! That's terrible!"
"Hey now, tain't my fault! It was funny, Ah couldn't help myself. Besides, Ah saw you try not to laugh jus' now!" Rarity's face went red.
"That is simply not true! I would never chuckle at such a base jest!" She turned her nose up, closed her eyes, and hmphed. Gilda raised a brow, then grinned. She leaned a little closer to Rarity, putting a talon to her beak to let everyone know not to give her away. The gryphon slipped her head just behind Rarity's ear and made a buzzing sound. Rarity jumped up with a squeal, and dashed into a pile of hay, shouting, "OH MY STARS, THE BEES ARE BACK!" Pinkie blinked, then fell onto her back, giggling and snorting. Gilda and Dash gave each other a high five, but both instantly shrunk back at the glare Fluttershy gave them.
"That wasn't nice, Gilda. You should apologize to Rarity."
Sulking like a scolded child, Gilda called out, "There's no bees here. It was a prank. Sorry."
"You don't sound like you mean it, young lady!"
"... I'm really sorry, Rarity."
"That's better." Fluttershy smiled again, and Rarity slunk out of the pile, wiping herself off and trying to look all the world like nothing happened.
---
After Ah made sure Zecora was a-okay, she went back home. Now, Ah didn't know quite what she was planning at the time, Ah jus' figured she wanted to lay down and rest after that nasty knock on the noggin. But as we all know, that wasn't what happened at all, no sir. Zecora was makin' a brew, and she was tryin' ta make it quick, fast, and in a hurry. Course, she was used ta havin' ta hurry with one concoction or the other, but the problem is, when she's doin' that, she needs complete quiet for her concentration. Unlucky for her, Applebloom managed to sneak past me and get outta Sweet Apple Acres.
Now Applebloom didn't mean any harm, ya'll know that. She jus' wanted to make sure Zecora was okay. She felt real guilty about the whole thing. Honestly, I'd take a hoe to the head than a swarm of bees any day, but whatever floats her boat. So, Applebloom went off to Zecora's hut ta apologize and probably dote on her a lot, which wouldn't really have helped the situation any. And it didn't, cuz when she barged in and yelled out, fulla tears, that she was sorry, Zecora accidentally dropped an entire bottle of the stuff she was puttin' into her cauldron. It didn't explode this time. Nah, this time the cauldron flipped upside down and rocketed through the ceiling, spilling it's contents all the way from Ponyville to Phillydelphia. What was in it, ya may be askin'? Well, that cauldron was full of an anti-love potion. Yea, we remember that day.
---
"I'm still saying sorry for it," Gilda grumbled, folding her arms angrily. "This is why that zebra shouldn't be mixing stuff so close to Ponyville."
Twilight sighed and shook her head. "Gilda, I know gryphons and zebras don't get along, but that's a little much. She lives in the Everfree Forest! What else do you want her to do, build a dome around her house?"
"Could we lock it aft-" Gilda immediately stopped when all present glared at her, and she raised her claws. "Shutting up."
---
Gilda, don't be a bully. Anyhow, so as ya might expect, Zecora was madder than a hornet. She gave Applebloom a BIG talkin' to, and it wasn't nice either. Applebloom ran away cryin', and Zecora just sat there and stewed for a bit. Course, she thought the brew worked anyway. Ah mean, how could Applebloom have avoided that? Well, pretty easily. As it turns out, Applebloom hid under a table jus' as soon as she saw Zecora drop something in there. She took off fer home, and the poor foal got to see me and Big Mac git into a little argument, which got bigger as she tried to tell us what happened with Zecora. When he bucked me good right in front of her, She froze up a bit. Big Mac never hit nopony, ever. When she tried to help me up, I yelled at her to go inside. She did... And immediately got chased out by Granny Smith, who thought she was a varmint after her pies.
So Applebloom headed straight to Ponyville, and Ah wish she hadn't. Place was terrible about that time, almost as bad as that one time Twilight did her magic stuff on that doll. Nah, don't apologize, sugarcube. We all forgave ya a long time ago. Anyhow, everypony was arguin' with everypony else, and Applebloom didn't know what ta do. The only pony she knew that could fix things like this was mad at her, so she decided to try and fix it herself.
Applebloom ain't the best mediator, though. First pair she tried to help was Bon Bon and Lyra, but that jus' got too weird for her. They were arguin' 'bout how Bon Bon always seems to make too much food on purpose, almost like she was tryin' ta git Lyra fat. The less said about her motivations, the better, Ah say. That devolved pretty quick into a shoutin' match about how Lyra sits. Applebloom cut in ta say she really didn't understand how someone sittin' different could annoy someone that much, and they both told her ta mind her own business. Soon as my little sister said she wanted ta help, they got kinda nasty about it. Talkin' 'bout how the Cutie Mark Crusaders are always breaking things and never helpin' much of anypony. Ah guess that kinda hit home for Applebloom, cuz she's been real quiet about that, lately.
Next pair was Twi and Dash. Twi was mad that Dash kept usin' a window instead of a door, and RD said it drove her crazy how Twilight stayed inside and read all the time instead of going out and doing something fun with her. Now Applebloom heard the best way to solve an argument is mediation, but she didn't really git the application of it quite right. She suggested that Twilight try leaving through the window, and Rainbow Dash stay inside and read fer a day. Now, Ah don't got ta tell you fillies why those ideas are silly. Twilight pointed out how dumb that sounded, only ta git interrupted by Dash who complained that all ideas sound stupid to her. Twi came back with how all of Dash's ideas are dumb and so is she, and how everything has to be her way. Applebloom made herself scarce.
Last ones she came to were those two little toublemakers, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. Now, Ah git the feeling Applebloom jus' wanted ta start somethin' with them, teach 'em a lesson, but some things never change. Soon as she interrupted, the two of 'em ganged up on her instead. My little sister really shoulda seen that comin'. What she didn't see comin' was Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo joining in to scold her for not gettin' them their cutie marks soon enough. Applebloom couldn't help but argue back at this point herself, and told Scootaloo just how stupid her "Cutie Mark Crusaders Train Conductors" idea was. Tiara made some kinda backhanded comment about how all of their ideas are complete disasters, and nopony likes them, and Sweetie Belle, of all fillies, lost it and jumped the little brat. Scootaloo joined in, of course, and Applebloom just about did as well when she noticed somethin' terrible.
See, everypony saw the foals gettin' into it with each other, and things started gettin' worse. Arguin' turned to fightin', fightin' turned to wrasslin', and soon enough all of Ponyville was in a big tussle. A full blown riot, almost. Applebloom knew she had ta do somethin', since she was the only one not affected by the potion accident, and she got a megaphone from Town Hall and climbed right up on top of it. Everypony stopped fightin' real quick when Applebloom yelled, "STOOOOP!" through that thing loud as she could.
---
"Good thing, too," Dash spoke up, rubbing her chest with a wince. "Twilight might not look like much, but her magic packs a punch."
Rarity's eyes widened. "Oh my, the two of you had a physical altercation? That can't be good for the relationship!"
"Rarity, don't do this." Twilight sighed as she glanced over to the group's other unicorn.
"Do what, dear?"
"You keep over-dramatizing everything."
"I do nothing of the sort!" Rarity retorted with a toss of her hair. "My reactions are always completely appropriate for the situation."
"Worst. Possible. Thing." Twilight deadpanned, eliciting a snicker from Applejack.
"Why... That is one occasion! Surely you wouldn't judge from-"
"You defeated a group of kidnappers with horribly overblown whining!" Twilight leaned out of the chair with a smirk, her fore-hooves resting on the table. "I mean, it was pretty genius of you, but come on, Rarity! If you told ponies your special talent was melodrama, everypony would take it at face value!"
"Well, I never," huffed Rarity, scrunching up her face in a rather hilarious indignant expression. "Perhaps I sometimes react with a slight flair, but I think everypony can agree that I perfectly sum up a situation with my emotional expression!"
"Sure ya do, sugarcube. Especially if that situation is, heaven forbid, slightly annoyin'!" Applejack grinned as she teased, then let the unicorn sulk as she got on with the story.
---
So, after everypony got over their ears ringin', Applebloom started talkin', "Listen up, all ya'll! Now Ah understand that yer all mad at each other, and Ah understand yer gettin' on each other's nerves somethin' fierce, but ya can't just stand around and argue! That won't solve nothin'!" Applebloom took a deep breath, then a big look around. She was pretty darn surprised everyone listened ta her, but she wasn't about ta look a gift apple in the core. "Small problems git bigger, and when we feel like we can't take it anymore, it's easy ta start fightin'. Sometimes, that's good because if we never fought, those little things would jus' bottle up and get worse and worse. But we can't ever let that git outta hoof, 'cuz now lookatcha!"
Every pony in that crowd looked down at the ground, but then they looked at each other and all of 'em started arguin' again. Pretty soon they were almost ta blows again, and Applebloom hung her head. She didn't think she could do anythin' right at that point, but that feelin'? That's what saved the day, right there. She lifted her head with a determined glare, and shouted again. "HEY! STOP THAT THIS INSTANT! Listen, Ah'm not done yet!" Kinda hard ta ignore someone yellin' through a megaphone. For our hearin's sake, Ah'm jus' glad it wasn't Sweetie Belle. Fillie's louder than a fog-horn on a foggy day. "Everypony has some kinda thing that others find annoyin'. We have to deal with those things every day, and sometimes, it can git a little grating. Trust me, Ah know! I don't always git along with my friends either."
Zecora was in the crowd herself, havin' come ta town ta git somethin' she needed for an antidote, and she told me she felt real ashamed of herself at that point. "And sometimes," Applebloom started to speak a little quieter, knowin' what she was gettin' to was about her jus' as much as anyone else, especially that day! "Sometimes we're the ones bein' annoyin', we jus' don't notice it or want to admit it, 'cuz we're too busy thinkin' about what we want. Or maybe we jus' don't think before we act, like we really should. Maybe we even make a big deal outta nothin', jus' because it's extra annoyin'." There was a lot of ponies in that crowd that could only look sheepishly at who they were arguin' with. They all knew they were bein' silly anyhow, they jus' needed someone ta tell them. "When ya can't git an argument ta calm down, the best thing ya'll can do is ta take a deep breath and walk away. Jus' come back later, talk about it when ya can be more nice about it. Try ta think about what you did wrong yerself, too, 'cuz nopony's perfect. So all of ya need to jus' go yer separate ways fer now, and when yer all calmed down, then apologize ta each other, and talk it out."
And they did. Ah'll admit, Ah've never been more proud of that foal, and Ah think she saved Ponyville that day from a fight that mighta leveled the place. As the crowd all took her advice, she tried to come down from the roof, but a hoof of hers slipped and she fell. Lucky that Zecora was there to catch her. Applebloom hung her head and shuffled her hooves in the dirt, embarrassed for herself, and she said, "Ah'm sorry Zecora, real sorry. Ah've been causin' trouble fer ya all day, and Ah was bein' too self-absorbed ta notice it."
Zecora jus' smiled and lifted my little sister's chin, and she came back with, "Ah, but if I had not been so silly, then Ponyville would not have become so willy-nilly. I do find your love a bit disturbing, but for you to be so sad is more perturbing. I shall say sorry, and hope you forgive, and of your crush not worry, and with it I'll live."
Applebloom did forgive her, of course, but only on the condition Zecora forgive her back. And that's the end of that.
---
"Took us long enough to get through that," Dash complained. "We almost don't have time for me to tell you about these awesome new tricks!"
Applejack glared at her. "Well, if SOMEPONY didn't keep interrupting me the whole time..."
Twilight held up a hoof. "Hey! We're all guilty of interrupting you, so don't get mad. I mean, it's a pretty small thing, riiight?" She gave the earth pony a wink, and Applejack blinked, then chuckled in return.
"Right. Done forgot the moral of my story already. So, le's hear about these tricks, Dash..."
"Eh... Nevermind. I guess I still have a long way to go for this humility thing." She yawned widely, then stretched out her hooves and wings. "I'm tired anyway. Maybe we should call it a night."
Rarity nodded in agreement. "I concur. There will always be time tomorrow for us to talk. Goodnight, all, and have wonderful dreams." As she got up to leave, Applejack waved her out. One by one, the friends all went on their ways, to bed, and to greet the new day in the morning...
---
It hadn't taken Zecora long, with the help of a few kind ponies, to fix her roof. Replacing the cauldron wasn't too much of a hassle, since Zecora made a surprising amount of money selling her potions. She was ready to start brewing again, so when there was a knock on the door, she quickly made her way to it. "Why, who could that be? Perhaps a customer for me?" At the door was none other than a small yellow filly with a red mane, and a large pink bow. "Ah, my little friend Applebloom! Do come in, I've plenty of room."
She entered, and fidgeted a moment with a shy blush. "Um... Zecora? Ah was wonderin' if ya had some advice for approachin' someone you had a crush on?" Zecora gave her a nervous smile, and cleared her throat before answering in her normal rhyme.
"Applebloom, we have had this talk, and at your affection I must balk."
"Huh?" Applebloom blinked and looked up to the zebra, one brow raised curiously. Then she giggled, shaking her head. "Nah, silly! Ah'm not in love with ya no more! That was jus' a silly thing. Ah'm really in love this time!"
Zecora breathed out a sigh of relief, and she moved to get Applebloom some juice so the zebra could give her a drink along with the advice. "Ah, yes, forgive me, please. Who's name is it that you've written on trees?"
"Spike!" And then Zecora just froze up, staring at the screen, as if to say, "Help me!"
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I admit. I lol'd.
lol
oh thats good, I really liked the "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER ELOPERS, YAY!" 
I'm not sure I saw this "horrible, horrible joke." what was it if I may ask?
128729
Well, see... Zecora is a zebra. She can't swim. I feel dirty for having to explain this...Nevermind.
128750
Heh, I thought you were referring to the Fruit Stripes name Pinkie Pie gave her. That one made me groan
128750 I.... I don't get it.
128851
There's an ethnic group that is commonly stereotyped to not be able to swim. An Ethnic group prominently featured in GTA: San Andreas.
128857 ohhhhh I get it now, I feel a little dumb.
128857
.... Caucasians?
(No, I get it. Sorry.)
129019
In the GTA universe, yes.
oh dear god...the ending :D
129207
FORESHADOWING?!
Nah.
Just to let you know, since it might make you a little happy, the segment with Dash and Twilight and the segment with Gilda and Fluttershy? I read those almost every week! I usually NEVER read another fan-fiction more than once, unless I'm asked to, but...I just can't stop reading yours! And I DESPISE first person, too! I just don't know why, but...something about Dash's segment with Twilight was...just so incredibly-awesome, I just have to read it over and over again. And Gilda's whole segment (despite her "bucking" and "Orion" shout-outs getting VERY irritating) is beyond adorable and freaking awesome! So...yeah, just wanted to tell ya that.
129941
Orion is sort of a gryphon deity, she's basically saying "Oh God" and "God dammit".
Gilda's kinda a potty mouth. :P
But thank you for your comment. It does make me happy. Wanna know a secret? I DESPISE first person too. Very, very hard to do right, IMO. Not as much as I despise second person, though. It always feels so awkward and forced, and even when done right the character being refered to in second person does things I'd never do, or doesn't have ideas that would come to me instantly. Completely breaks immersion for me.
130084 Is that really true about griffons and Orion? I didn't find anything on that. Well, not that it matters; it's their world, not ours. I kinda figured that that's what she was saying, and...yeah, she's the typical punk girl with the bad mouth. She's a brat, but we love her...just ask Flutters.
Really? You hate first person, too? Well, for someone who hates it, you wrote Dash brilliantly. Seriously, the ONLY first person fiction I've been able to read and finish without getting bored and losing interest. Oh, and yeah...second person, ugh. It's a new challenge, but...it indeed does sound forced and rather stupid. I never use it, and I never really use first person, either. For me, it's just too hard to really stay "in-character", since when I write "I", it means...me! It's hard to write "I" and refer to Dash...it's just so awkward! But, however you did it, I wouldn't change a thing. And I'm glad you added in that marriage part; I read somewhere that you said you didn't have it at first. Well, I'm glad you did; it completes it nicely.
The three-parter with Gilda and Fluttershy was just as good. I'm really glad you used third person there (and with the rest of these; don't think I'm just ignoring the rest, because I'm not! I'm just saying I love the first two the most). Thanks to you (take a bow), I now love the thought of Gilda x Fluttershy, and I'm planning on incorporating it into my "Total Magic Pony Island" when I have the rotten griffon return to the game. Anyway, I love what you did; Pinkie made me laugh all the time, Gilda's temper made me laugh even harder, and Gilda's diary moments...oh, so priceless. Oh, and Twilight was adorable, Rarity was annoying (as she always is), and Spike admiring Gilda...priceless.
Just...you rule. Can I have your autograph? Oh...wait...yeah, computer screen...right. Um...well, how about a digital hug? *hugs you tightly*
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Tis headcannon. I gave all the races their own deities, though for the most part they don't worship them as much as they respect them. Kinda like a "Hey, you're a pretty cool guy, GG *thumbs up*"
I love to RP with friends and play tabletops, and more often than not I'm the GM. So I ended up playing a huge variety of characters, and I've been doing both for ~10 years. I have a buckton of experience with characters, so writing someone who's not me in first person feels as natural as breathing to me. The more you do it, the easier it gets.
As far as you focusing so much on these two stories... It's nice to know you love them so much, but when I write new things, I'd like feedback on the new things. If that's not to much trouble, I mean...
This.... this is brilliant. I lol'd.
Very nice, definitely going to follow this one!
i don't want to sound you know "forceful" or annything but WHEN IS THE NEXT CHAPTER COMING OUT?!!
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Read my blog.
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http://www.metrolyrics.com/wi-nae-wee-bairn-yell-me-beget-lyrics-the-magnetic-fields.html
Brilliant. Just brilliant. Continue this please :D
128382 Now THAT'S funny!
I have that pic (Rainbow Zecora)
Also, nice last line!
"'My wife, the most adorkable pony in existence.'"
...they got married?
The first major problem is the multitude of misspellings.
I think I know why, because Applejack talks differently than you. That's a bit racist my friend.
"Rarity, you can stop givin' me that look."
Well, that came out of nowhere with no explanation.
You know, it would have been nice to know how and why Apple Bloom developed a crush on Zecora.
"Well, that cauldron was full of an anti-love potion. Yea, we remember that day."
NO! NO I DON'T! This feels like a superhero comic, filled with references to shit I've never read!
"spilling it's contents all the way from Ponyville to Phillydelphia"
How's that now? Did it aerosolize?
Isn't it redundant to tell the people who were there what happened to them? Or did they all get amnesia?
I'm not sure the first person, story within a story, perspective worked well with this. It just made the whole thing feel off.
Oh, and I'm all for that ending. Spike needs some more love...and sex.
Fourth wall?
Annihilated...
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