After developing odd feelings for a certain pony, Fluttershy confronts her friends in an attempt to come to terms with the new emotions.
Chapters (6)
Digi
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already read it on EqD
Liked it
Following it here now ^^
Nothing but a little miserable pile of adorableness! But enough talk, have at daw!
weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/dis-gon-b-gud.gif
Another FlutterDash?
*Sigh*
Welp, might as well...
410103
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/241/288/5d8.gif
Anyways, This looks like your standard Romance Fic. Nothing special.
You have my thumbs up, at least.
410267 I'm sorry, but you're late to the party.
Aaaaaaaaaaand here it is. Guess you weren't lying when you said you were putting this story up here (I was the guy on the google docs who asked you why you were highlighting the story). Great work though, INSTAFAVORITE!
Cheers,
jangledorf
410691
Now I feel kinda special that somepony is following me around tha interwebz. Glad I have some fans out there, though I will admit chapter 4 was a pain to get out. Hopefully chapter 5 won't take nearly as long, but no guarantees.
It's good to see ponies dating, not just being mindlessly in love with each other. And given the ponies involved, this could make for some interesting development. It's a standard romance fic, sure. But you seem to be going somewhere interesting with it, at least. You have my attention.
Simply adorable. 5 stars good sir.
They seem to be upvotes now nvm >.> I fell like I'm on reddit
This is looking good already.
Waited so long for chapter 4 and now im hoping i dont have to wait so long chapter 5 again.
This was a really cute FlutterDash, and I look forward to seeing more. I hope the wait won't be as long. XD
Thumbs up and watch.
418959>>426873
Trust me your not the only one hoping the next chapter doesn't take too long. I think I put more work into this chapter than I did for the last 3. On the plus side I have a sort of rough idea for the next chapter and have already started working on it. Though I still think it will take a month or so to get done, unfortunately.
Aahhh, love. A beautiful sight, no matter who it's between.
Great job!
427398
Take your time. I'm content to wait.
That was awesome! can't wait for the next chapter, take your time though, good things come only with time.
Pretty good so far. Always good to see Rarity being the generous, good hearted mare we all know she is.
Hopefully Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash will be together soon. I love opposite-attract couples like them.
Thumbs up!
I can say it's nice to see a story where if AJ isn't the one being shipped with a filly, she's not a homophobe about it. Following
After all of that, they just, somehow, break up and end up with new ponies? We spend time with them having built up to becoming a couple, and now, it's all gone.
Okay, if you were going for this kind of ending, I have some advice. You really should have built up to it better. Because this came out of nowhere and, honestly? Makes me feel like all that we read was a big waste of time. What was the point of putting them together only to rip them apart with no substance? I'm sorry, I don't buy that Rainbow is now with Soarin' all in love. And same with Fluttershy. We never meet Blueheart and I don't buy that they'e in love either. It's all just one big exposition chapter and that's it.
After all that they had, this happens? I'm very sorry, but this was just a bad ending. Not just because they didn't stay together, but it's all so rushed and sudden. It should have been done in a more believable way.
Show, don't tell. This is all TELLING us what happened, but nothing is shown. Again, if you really wanted this ending, you need to have exposed the journeys they had gone through to get here. Because now we have a story that seems to be all FlutterDash with no implication of the ending at all. It just comes out of nowhere, disappoints the readers, and just throws us off. To anyone not knowing how it ends, they're going to come in, expecting FlutterDash, only for it to end with Soarin'Dash and FluttershyOC, right out of nowhere, with no explanation. That's going to disappoint them.
So, if you really feel serious about this ending, that's perfectly fine. But you're going to have to do better than springing it out of nowhere. I think some re-writes are in order.
And no, the ending bit with Fluttershy thinking her birthday is better is not helping. That doesn't mean a thing now.
Sorry, this didn't work out as a good ending at all. I'm very sorry to have sounded so harsh, but that's only because I think there needs to be some improvement.
1879690
That's okay, but to be honest I had this particular ending planned since I wrote chapter 2. Sure the exact specific's might have changed from what I had originally thought of but it's mostly the same. As for possible rewrite? I honestly have no plans on ever touching this fic ever again. To me it's done, and while I will admit its not perfect I enjoyed how it came out and I know for a fact that not everyone will share your opinion on this ending. Glad you took the time to read it all the same.
1879718 It's not my personal opinion that makes it bad. Like I said, it's fine if you wanted it to end this way. But you have to have SHOWN it, not just dumped a whole pot of exposition. Because, that just makes it lazy. That's the real problem. This ending is lazy. You really were rushing to finish this, then? Well, I'm afraid it shows.
1879733
Yes, I will admit I rushed it a bit. If only because I became far to frustrated when writing this. In the end I just wanted this fic to be done and over with. Though if spending several months trying to write two chapters is a rush job then I guess I will just have to accept that. Again I don't mind you stating your opinion and I thank you for doing so. I too have read fics, where the rest of the story might be good but the ending is poor and ruins the whole fic. So I know exactly where you are coming from. Hopefully any future fics I publish, and I have several planned, have more satisfactory endings.
1879770 There is your problem. You didn't spend time on it because you wanted it done. THAT is why this ending is really bad. It's rushed. It's lazy. And above all, really disappointing because of it. That's the problem. It's a bittersweet ending but it's rushed and lazy. And that is the downfall. You really should have just put it on Hiatus or cancel it. Because a fanfiction should still have enough heart and passion to see through to the end. And if you can't do that, then you have to shelf it. Because if you rush it, it ruins all of your efforts. That's exactly what happened here.
Regardless, I thank you for taking the time to try to understand what I was saying.
I wish you luck on your future stories and I hope you'll manage to give them better time and care. And again, DON'T rush endings. Ever. Otherwise, they suffer. Readers are going to ignore the endings and focus on the stuff that still holds up.
But like I said, good luck.
Awww I was hoping for a future between them
i just thought i was in a different story... and this kinda upset me... and it IS my birthday today, today... le sigh.... this should have a massive sad tag....
Aww yeah making me feel better about how long I take to update
.
I actually quite liked the ending here, with one exception that I'll get to in a moment. Too many of these fics assume that they'll live happily ever after when that's just not likely. How many people marry their first SO? Not many, I tell ya what. So I'm totally fine that they split up, Rainbow apparently going back to stallions and Fluttershy finding some sort of... businesspony? Veterinarian? Whatever, someone more suited to her than Dash is.
So you can see why the last line basically ruined it for me. It undermines all the maturity they show at the wedding, and it's hardly fair to poor Blueheart (what a foreboding name, by the way! Sounds secretly evil to me... but I digress).
Fortunately I am well-versed in repression so I will just (
) edit that last line out of my memories of an otherwise fine story.
This chapter is ruined, need to end next time at chapter 5.
I deemed this story dead (but good). Sometimes it is really better to let the deceased rest...
It says something if a complete-label would have served an unfinished story better than the provided update. You would have gone with an open ending, and that would have been fine.
Sadly the quality of the writing didn't come close to the previous chapters. That goes for both of the new ones. The strange and unfounded fear of Fluttershy involving Pinkie hit me as odd right away, it felt extremely forced just to extend the story without any plans where to go with it.
The last chapter, well NintendoGall55 said a lot about it and she is right.
Just one thing, some pessimistic part of me saw it coming from the first few sentences of the last chapter (certainly not since the 4 'real' chapters of this story!). It is the same scheme as with the Pinkie - thing: you try to break away from the smooth way but it comes out as unnatural and forced.
If you want to surprise your readers with a twist at the ending, this certainly is NOT the way to go, sorry.
Well for me this fic ended months ago and it was one of the better rounded up stories that were dropped before the intended ending.
I honestly can't make up my mind about that ending. On the one hand, I am very glad it wasn't a typical generic 'And then they got married' chapter, and I thought the ending line was quite a nice bittersweet way to end it. You could even follow on from that if you wanted, though I don't see that happening :P
On the other hand however, Nintedogirl raises some good points about how it just sort of came from nowhere. Personally, as I sort of mentioned above, I prefer the chapter being them marrying others instead of the typical epilogue of them marrying each other, but I also prefer to think of this epilogue as more of an optional chapter - the story ends with the kiss in the previous chapter, with this chapter being a sort of alternate ending.
Well that came out of nowhere. It's not bad but it is rushed, very rushed. Both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy both end up marrying ponies that we know pretty much nothing about for no adequetly explored reason. Look I get that you wanted the story to finish but you really did that last chapter, now we just have a bunch of unanswered questions about how things ended up this way.
You've mentioned that you didn't want to rewrite this story right? Then I recommend just deleting this chapter altogether. It doesn't add to the story, but just raises new questions and thoughts that you aren't willing to answer. If you really want an epilogue where they've broken up then cut out the wedding part and focus on the breakup.
No offense, but EQD took this?
Edit: Ah, now I see. They took it wayyy long ago. If only they saw it now. This had soooo much promise in the beginning.
410381
GO CHOCOLATE MILK LEGION!
Did i miss anything on the story? Because this ending IS confusing.
I really thought that the ending was quite sad, for Fluttershy is apparently not very happy with marrying a pony if she had dated another pony and just their first kiss could top a whole marriage with the first pony.
...
I just confused myself...
Unmarked spoilers ahead
Don't let the negativity here get you down. I, for one, think this story is brilliant. It pulled me in and took me for a ride across a spectrum of emotions. The last chapter goes by faster than the rest, but it gives the reader the info they need. That whole "show, don't tell" thing is the most abused piece of advice in the writing world. A good story has both showing and telling; the important thing is using them where appropriate. The last chapter does kinda render a lot of the previous story a bit on the moot side, but would people really prefer that it be dragged out?
I loved the last line, even though (or because) it kinda crushed my soul. Do we, the audience, really need all the details to figure out why they broke up? I mean, come on. I love FlutterDash, but I know full well that they would probably never work out. Happy ever after endings almost never happen in real life, anyway.
In conclusion, this story is one of my top favorites. I love what you did with this story, even (or especially) the ending. If this is the story that you wanted to tell, then never change it. Bravo.
3765286
Thanks! That is probably one of the better comments I have gotten on this fic. I had this specific ending planned out long before I got even close to actually writing it. It may not necessarily be a happy ending but it is still a realistic one. The fact that the pair are still good friends just goes to show that a failed romance wasn't enough to fully break them up. Isn't that in of itself something to be happy about?
3769049
It is indeed something to be happy about. A silver lining, so to speak. A bittersweet ending that tugs at the heartstrings and leaves me with a sad little smile.
whoa bittersweet ending out of nowhere.