Hidden Truths

Source

When Scootaloo's life changed, everything changed.

But is change good?

Even when change forces one to live a lie?

Editors: DemonBrightSpirit

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 11 )

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Twilight Best Pony

Twilight Best Pony #1 · May 22nd, 2014 · 1 · ·

wait how did twi die?
and how is this complete? this could be a hole story by itself.
and we need a cherilee reaction.

Lunatone

Lunatone #2 · May 22nd, 2014 · 2 · ·

4427641

Welcome to the art of a short story my friend. I decided to end this story right at the climax without the dénouement.

As for the Twilight thing, I'm glad you caught that.

ElkinFencer10

ElkinFencer10 #3 · Aug 5th, 2014 · · ·

Maybe I missed something obvious, but I'm still confused why Rainbow Dash didn't want anyone to know that she adopted Scootaloo.

Lunatone

Lunatone #4 · Aug 5th, 2014 · · ·

4805955

She didn't want anypony to know because they would think she would be making irrational decisions by adopting a filly.

ElkinFencer10

ElkinFencer10 #5 · Aug 6th, 2014 · · ·

4806133
Ah. Yes, I suppose that would make sense, wouldn't it? I'll just go find my dunce hat now...

RaylanKrios

RaylanKrios #6 · Aug 8th, 2014 · · ·

I get that this is kind of an older story but I'm going to comment anyways. This story doesn't make sense on multiple levels. Cheerilee is Scoots best friend? And Scoots is somehow terrified of losing her, as opposed to honoring the wishes of the pony she idolizes. Twilight is dead? Rainbow Dash doesn't want anyone to know she adopted Scoots. Cheerilee thinks that Scootaloo is homeless but limits her help to asking Scoots if she needs anything (this might be plausible but it would need to be developed) "Tell me not of her flaws; of her strengths tell me all.” That's bad poetry, and not anything Rainbow would say, certainly not as a retort to somepony badmouthing Twilight.

There's a decent idea here and I get that you wanted to keep it a short story but it needs more development if all the ideas are going to hold up.

Lunatone

Lunatone #7 · Aug 8th, 2014 · · ·

4816637

I hope you do realize that I didn't have high hopes for this story to be successful. I realized everything you said after I posted this and reread it.

You see, this is, well, my first story, and I hope to God that no one expects an author's first story to be successful, or well written for that matter. All authors have to start somewhere. I started with this story. Now, it isn't good, and I won't deny it. I did poorly on this story.

But, do keep in mind, I wrote this story for fun. I wanted to try out different techniques, writing style, and all that jazz.

I write for fun, yet I take it seriously too. I'm a passionate writer.

Nonetheless, I appreciate your comment.

RaylanKrios

RaylanKrios #8 · Aug 8th, 2014 · · ·

4816782 you should definitely only write for fun and I think everyone should try out different styles and genre's, so if you got something from this, even just practice then great.

dragonjek

dragonjek #9 · Oct 22nd, 2014 · · ·

After the ball game, Rainbow and Scootaloo decided to go home. It had been a game against the Raining Pegasi and the Galactic Earth Ponies, who, of course, won. They succeeded; they were victorious; they accomplished the feat!

That final sentence feels awkward.

Wolf heart singer