Chapter 1
"Remind me again how you convinced me of this?"
"Well," began Soarin. "We have to be here for this show, or we don't get paid, and then we-"
Spitfire glared at him. "You know what I mean, Soarin."
Soarin grinned. "I'm just teasing, I know what you meant." He leaned over and nuzzled her.
She closed her eyes and sighed happily as he did so. "You're avoiding the question," She said, trying to sound stern but failing miserably. "How did you convince me to bring Scootaloo along instead of leaving her at home. Manehatten is going to be super crowded and-"
"Well, you didn't want to leave her with Thunder for more than a few hours," he said, refering to their neighbor's older son, Thunder Charger- Scootaloo's usual foal sitter. "My parents are in Canterlot right now and your parents are on that Sky Cruise around Equestria."
"I'm starting to regret giving them those tickets now" muttered Spitfire. (Don't get her wrong, she loves her parents. And the letters they send. And the one thousand two hundred and fourth eight pictures they sent from the cruise, not counting the three hundred and twenty six they've sent since they left home.)
Soarin grinned "You're so cute when you're frustrated with your parents. Your nose gets all scrunched up and-"
"Hey, I am not cute," she playfully, poking him into the back of his seat. "I'm the Captain of the Wonderbolts, which means I'm stronger, and faster, and-"
"Still cute" he interrupted, leaning forward and kissing her.
Momentarily suprised, she forgot what she was saying. She tried to remember, but decided it probably wasn't that important and leaned into the kiss, putting her forlegs around him and pulling him closer before-
"MOM! DAD! Can I have a couple of bits to go buy some candy with Lightning?"
Spitfire and Soarin hastily broke apart and looked at their daughter, who stood in the now open door to their compartment with her friend Lightning Charger- Thunder Charger's younger sister. The two fillieswere looking up hopefully at them.
"Well, I don't know," began Spitfire. "You might spoil your appetite, and then you-"
"Pleeeeeeease?" Begged the fillies, looking up at them with big poutie eyes that would melt the hearts of anypony who looked at them.
Spitfire made the mistake of looking directly into Scootaloo's eyes and felt her heart melt. "Oh, alright," she said, pulling a few bits out of her bag and tossing them to the fillies.
"Thanks mom!" They shouted before racing out of the room.
Soarin chuckled as he got up and closed the door. "You know, you really have to stop letting her get away with that. She's going to keep doing it until you stop her."
"You know, you weren't looking at her. You were-"
"Looking out the window?" He asked, gesturing to the window. "Yes, so that she can't ask me for everything."
Spitfire rolled her eyes. "You can be very devious sometimes, you know that?"
He chuckled. "I have my moments. Its why you married me."
She laughed with him. "I suppose that's one of the reasons." She leaned forward and whispered in his ear "You know why else I married you?"
"I think I have a pretty good idea." He whispered back before reaching forward and-
The compartment door opened again and the two jerked apart once more. This time however, Scootaloo and Lightning didn't look quite as happy. And neither did the guard standing between the two.
"Excuse me Ma'am, Sir. Are these two yours?"
Soarin nodded. "Yes, officer. Are they in trouble?" He asked while Spitfire glared at the children, wondering what the two had done to get the guard angry.
"They've been running up and down the corridors, disturbing other passengers." He said while the fillies looked like they wanted to disappear.
"Don't worry, it won't happen again officer," said Spitfire as Soarin simultaneously said "We'll keep them with us in here."
The guard nodded, then turned and left.
As soon as he had, Spitfire rounded on the fillies. "No misbehaving, or we'll leave you two in the hotel during the performance."
It was only an idle threat, but the two fillies nodded and apologized solemnly.
"Hey, cheer up. Just don't run around as much okay?" Said Spitfire, her heart melting again as they made big sad eyes at her. "Why don't you two look out the window with your father?" She said, rounding on Soarin who grinned apologetically before looking back out.
The two grinned and raced for the window, Spitfire's threat forgotten. Spitfire just shook her head and picked up her clipboard with the routine for tomorrow's show. Soarin looked at her and winked, mouthing the word later.
Spitfire grinned and began going over the stunts, but her mind was wandering ahead- to when she and Soarin could be alone together and continue what they started...
"Come on Mom and Dad! Lets go!" Said Scootaloo, her wings buzzing excitedly.
"Yeah! We have to hurry or we'll miss the show!" Added Lightning.
Scootaloo looked down at Spitfire long enough to see her smile at Soarin, before rolling her eyes and sprawling forward onto Spitfire's back.
She was riding on Spitfire's back while they walked through the almost solid crowds of Manehatten's streets. They could've flown over the crowds, of course, but since Spitfire was carrying Scootaloo on her back and Soarin was carrying Lightning, neither wanted to risk the possibility that one of the fillies would fall. It wasn't that they would be seriously hurt, as their wings were developed enough that they could slow down enough, and since the crowds would be softer then the pavement, but a filly or two dropping out of the sky unexpectedly onto somepony's back wasn't something most ponies would be able to just accept- and it would slow them down enough that they might actually be late.
Scootaloo looked over at Lightning, who was already looking at her. Scootaloo mouthed Ready? and Lightning nodded.
"Mom, can Lightning and I fly up and see how much further it is?"
Spitfire looked over at Soarin, who shrugged as if to say why not? "Okay, but don't go to far" she said, looking up at Scootaloo who had crawled onto her head.
"Thanks Mom!" Shouted Scootaloo, zipping up as soon as she heard 'O'. Lightning quickly folowed suit and soon the two were buzzing through the air.
They hovered for a moment, then, spotting the Manehatten stadium a few minutes ahead, looked at each other.
"RACE YOU TO IT!" The two fillies yelled simultaneously before shooting towards the stadium, Spitfire's warning to not go far forgotten.
The two of them looped and dived, climbing high into the air before swooping down, seeing who could get closest to the crowd before pulling up. As they neared the stadium, they both put on a burst of speed and shot towards it, little more than blurs.
Scootaloo made it first and did a victory looping, shouting "I win!"
She stopped in time to feel Lightning zip around her in a blur, heading back the way they had come from, shouting as she did "The race is there and back!"
"That's cheating!" Called Scootaloo before grinning and zipping after her. After all, Scootaloo had done the same thing while they were racing in the Cloudsdale colliseum back home.
Scootaloo poured all her speed into the race, her wings little more than blurs as she caught up to Lightning. When they only a few tail lengths apart, she called "Even if you cheat I can beat you! After all, I'm the fastest flier in all of Equestria!"
Lightning waited until they were side by side before turning to look at Scootaloo, a retort on the tip of her tounge, but her face suddenly turned into one of horror and she folded her wings, dropping as she screamed "DUCK!"
Scootaloo turned to see what Lightning had seen, and managed toturn her neck in time to see-
*WHAM*
Scootaloo didn't even have time to register the blur of a sky chariot racing towards her, but she felt the pain of it crashing into her. At least until she blacked out. Fortunately, she could no longer feel the pain, but ithe reprise only lasted a few moments until, unable to control her descent and sudden sideways momentum, she slammed into the side of a building. It shocked her into waking up, but she didn't register the ground rushing towards her through the haze of pain until it slammed into her. Mercifully knocking her unconscious once more.
Spitfire craned her neck, trying to spot the two fillies. She and Soarin were at the stadium, but there was no sign of the fillies.
"We're late enough as it is," grumbled Spitfire, glancing up at the clock tower. It was ten to the hour, so she and Soarin would barely have enough time to do their wing excersizes and get into costume before the show started.
"It's okay, look, there's Lightning." Said Soarin, pointing a hoof.
Spitfire looked where he was pointing and spotted the filly.
"LIGHTNING! GET OVER HERE!" Shouted Spitfire, annoyed when she saw that Scootaloo wasn't with her.
Lightning looked around for the source of the summons and, spotting the two ponies, zoomed towards them.
"Where have you been? And where's Scootaloo? It has been nearly 15 minutes! I said not to go far! Why-" Spitfire's question died on her lips when the filly collapsed sobbing in front of them.
"Shh, what is it? What's wrong?" Asked Spitfire, sitting and stroking Lightning's mane while Soarin continued looking for Scootaloo.
After a minute or two, Lightning calmed down enough to say "Scootaloo... Fell... Couldn't... Find her," between sobs before breaking down into tears again.
Spitfire felt a chill run through her heart. "What do you mean she fell?"
Lightning told them the story between sobs, how they had been racing and Scootaloo had been hit by a sky chariot. Lightning hadn't seen Scootaloo get hit, but after she had recovered from her drop, she didn't see Scootaloo, so she began looking but couldn't find her.
"Soarin, please.." Spitfire asked, looking up at him. He nodded grimly and flew off to search for her. "Shh, its okay Lightning, it wasn't your fault. We'll find her. I'm sure she's fine. Come on, lets have you go backstage and wait while I go search for her."
Lightning nodded after a few moments and calmed enough to let Spitfire scoop her up and put her on her back. Spitfire raced backstage and placed Lightning in Fleet Foot's care, barely pausing to tell her that she and Soarin needed to find Scootaloo and to delay their show as long as possible. She was off before Fleet Foot could even speak.
As she raced to the stadium exit, she thought to herself I'm sure its fine, Lightning just couldn't find her because... She... Was hiding! Yes, that's it. And we'll find her and she'll be just fine.
Just fine.
Scootaloo woke some time later very confused. Her first thought was What happened? Followed quickly by the almost as obvious Where am I?
She struggled to focus on the two figures next to her bed. One was wearing a white hat and looked like- a nurse? And the other- how was her hair so many colors? Scootaloo tried to count them, but her head started to hurt, so she stopped with a groan.
The two ponies stopped talking and looked at her, noticing she was awake. They turned to face her with concern etched all over their faces.
"Are you alright?" Asked the one in the white.
"I- I think so. Where am I?" Asked Scootaloo, struggling to focus on their faces.
"You're in the hospital dear," said the nurse with a worried glance at the other mare.
"The hospital? Why?" Asked Scootaloo, losing interest in the nurse and focusing again on the other mare. Her mane was so pretty- all those colors. She was too focused on the mane to see the second worried glance the two mares exchanged.
"You don't remember anything? Your crash, your injuries, anything?"
Now that she mentioned it, her wings were aching a bit. Scootaloo tried to turn and see them, but couldn't turn far enough, so she looked back and said "No, was I in a crash?"
The nurse didn't answer, but pulled the rainbow mare to the side and began whispering hurriedly in her ear. Scootaloo only caught a few words of their exchange: amnesia, concussion, brain damage.
The two came back and the nurse asked "Do you remember your name?"
"Of course, it's Scoo-" she broke off as her mental image of her name broke apart and began swimming lazily through her mind. "Scootaloo," she said with difficulty a moment later.
"Do you remember who your parents are or where they are?"
Scootaloo thought for a moment, but none of the letters in her mind would settle into a familiar shape. She shook her head.
"Do you know where you live? I'm sure we can find them."
Scootaloo thought again, but shook her head after another moment.
"Do you live around here in Manehatten?"
Scootaloo shook her head. That didn't sound quite right.
"Canterlot? Baltimare?"
Scootaloo shook her head as the nurse ran through a list of cities, but none of them sounded right until the rainbow mare asked
"Ponyville?"
Scootaloo thought. Ponyville. That name rings a bell. She had been there recently for- For something. She nodded. It sounded like it was familiar and could be her home.
The rainbow mare smiled and pulled the nurse aside. "I live in Ponyville, I could take care of her until she finds her parents." The rainbow one was bad a whispering. The nurse nodded slowly, but was much better at whispering. "Okay... Wing damaged... May not fly again, could recover... Go to hospital... Make sure... Healing fine..."
Scootaloo lost interest after that and watched a spider on the ceiling.
The nurse left and the rainbow one walked over to Scootaloo. "Hey kid, I saw your crash. I'm sorry you got hurt, so I rushed you here as soon as I could. I hope you aren't mad, I'm sure we'll find your parents."
Scootaloo shook her head carefully "No, 's fine."
"The name's Rainbow Dash. Don't worry, we'll find your parents soon."
Scootaloo nodded, but her thoughts were getting fuzzy and she felt her self drifting towards sleep. Rainbow Dash she thought to herself as she closed her eyes. What a cool pony
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Intresting concept , i think it could be expanded a bit. Thw ending seemed rushed.
Why is there no chapter two? This has way to much left open in it.
4426460 Yeah, I'm bad at endings
I am at a lost for word.
I do not know what to tell you to help you out.
Yes I liked it but I wanted to give you some constructive criticism.
It's not that its all good but most of the bad stuff is just nit picking in my view.
I mean I do have the feeling like you left us hanging we are worried for Scootaloo now, and you are left with questions like;
If she live in Ponyville now then why on the many Trips there didn't Spitfire see her? Yes it's an AU senora but you are left wondering.
You do make a good story to describe the picture and it was a fun read (Thumbs up)
Well I hope that helps.
Good luck best wishes
So r u going to make a sequel? This needs one!
WHAT?! SCOOTALOO GETS SEPARATED FROM HER PARENTS? REUNITE THEM PLEASE MY FEELS
4426477 I'm not very good at motivation. I'll have times when I have a good idea and write it, but I lose motivation to continue quickly. I might do an epilogue I had an idea for
4426483 Thanks, I'll try to fix that in the epilogue if I end up writing one
4426524 I might do an epilogue, but as I said before, I'm not good with continuing things
Well, that was a decent introduction - but there are chapters missing ...
Not sure why, but this part... bugs me for some reason. Maybe it's just my nitpicky self, I don't know.
Anywho, I really like this! It's hard to find one thing in particular to say about it because its all so good
Good job!
... you dirty evil conniving... I agree with the others, there is a chapter missing. Good God there is so much here, a world that should be used
Am I the only one who finds downed-mane spitfire extremely glompable?
4426908 Oh crap, I meant to take out that note in the squiggly brackets, thanks. I know, I hated the way it sounded when I wrote it but I can't think of how to make it better. Any ideas? And thanks
4426836 4426957 What chapter would you say is missing?
4427075 Oh no, definitely not the only one
4427102
The last chapter in which Scootaloo is reunited with her parents
4427127 That sounds cliche.
4427127 Oh no, don't worry I have a little something something up my sleeve regarding that (sort of)
4427133
And your point?
4427200 Nothing. Just think that sounds exactly like what one would expect.
4427200 4427205 Don't worry, no clichés
4427214 *looks at your avatar for a moment* You scare me. I like you. Boop.
4427227 Me? Scary? Pfft, I'm not scary! Aha, why would you think that?
4427231 Boop.
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So Scootaloo was rendered amnesiac in a flying accident, that also may have permanently damaged her wings? I don't buy that, I mean she would have seen some reminders of her parents, since they are Wonderbolts, and if she was reported as a missing child, surely Spitfire and Soarin would have been looking through records of children missing their parents. It just doesn't make sense.
This story feels very much incomplete. I don't usually say this, but I demand moar
A second chapter, a sequel, SOMETHING
I feel like nothing was concluded; after all, you ended so abruptly and with nothing regarding what spitfire and soarin did or anything else with scoots
If you do make a sequel...it would be nice to see a reunion... just sayin'
4429151 Don't worry, I have an epilouge of sorts in mind
There are a couple misspelled words, but a good read. However, I am curious if Soarin and Spitfire never found her or why they didn't try to bring her home with them.
4430689 Don't worry, that'll be answered in the epilogue
4430830 Well, that's a relief. Personally, I hope it's a very good reason.
It could use a second chapter or a sequel. It left an opening for one of the two.
"You know, you weren't looking at her. You were-"
"Looking out the window?" He asked, gesturing to the window. "Yes, so that she can't ask me for everything."
Rule #1 for any father: When all else fails, DON'T maintain eye contact.