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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Somepony left the italics on!
4586618 Fixed, sorry about that
4586624 It alright like the story said 'everyone makes mistakes'
It seems like that should be there.
Who said that?
Space between Even and he.
Wouldn't it be a once-over? Or am I thinking of something else?
Is that the fanfic with the regular Mane 6 end up in a Rule...63 World? (Gender Swap)
I'm not any kind of critique so don't really expect much from me other than helping with a few small mistakes. But either way I like your take on this episode, with how he reacted to the hydra and the consequences, though other than following the myth there didn't seem to be any. Also, although they weren't in this Chapter much, I'm really liking how you added the Stallions and Twinken so that Midnight has someone other than a group a mares to interact with, unlike most fanfics that follow the show, which usually is just the Mane 6, and OC(Usually male), and a rare appearance of Big Mac or Shining Armour(Usually only in spots they'd appear in the show). It adds a lot more that you can do, having more than just the Mane 6 and an OC.
4587391 All taken care of.
And yes, the reason Mac, Thunder, and the colts are included is to give Midnight some guys to hang out with and to give the story more male presences than just a single OC.
And yes, A Cross and Arrow is the story where the Mane Six meet their gender-swapped selves in an alternate Equestria
Nice tie in to Disney's Hercules, I wasn't expecting that at all
4587428
That is one of the things I like. Gotta have your bros man. I mean come on where you gonna go when the 5 mares are having one of THOSE days. Hide out in the stallioncave and watch Hoofball. Rainbow Dash probably be there too being like one of the guys and all. Great Chapter!
Look, everypony! Twilight's a Naruto-Shinobi!
Say what, now?
This episode suddenly made "Bridle Gossip" make sense when i first saw it. I had wondered why anypony would listen to Pinks' insane BS about somepony she never met when her imagination was clearly running away with her... and then "Pinkie Keen" happened.
Everypony apparently assumed she had a "twitchy tail" about Zecora and this marked Pinkie for me as someone who can be dangerously cruel and thoughtless without even meaning to. If it had been a town of humans instead of ponies that avoid danger, Zecora might have been physically attacked before that episode. -All because Pinkie made assumptions without actually meeting some..zebra.
I love the Hercules reference in this with Danny Devito (I mean Philotetes) lines too. I love all the Disney references you're making, and since you bothered to add Substitutionary Locomotion, you have to take responsibility. You must now inexplicably cause a scenario where Midnight animates all the armor in the castle (Canterlot, Everfree, Crystal, maybe Twilight's?) to fight off an invasion force.
All while playing boss Highland Bagpipes, and protecting the FATHERLAND!
29 chapters into the story… I finally noticed that you gender-balanced it! CMC now have one of each race-gender combinations, and mane9 is 1/3 male, even though only one of the proper 7 elements is a stallion. It's a very welcome touch as far as I'm concerned.
I certainly liked the extra twist the new character adds, both with his future knowledge and without, and also how he brings some common sense into that company of 6 sporadically insane fillies. Oh, and those nice chapters explaining how magic works!
All in all, this is a good novelization of the show plus extras, much better alternative to re-watching it, but you still need to have watched most of it to understand some bits.
P.S. Still wondering if Midnight gets to be an alicorn, and what he thinks if he goes to EG world!
8112117
Agreed, although idk about that last part lol
Oy! That was my favourite part of that episode! Especially since her "ah HA!" Made spike fall into the bog.
Thank you, peanut gallery.
And here I hoped he'll be only moderately dumb. She can teleport. -_-
Oh wait! He is!
0:10 - 0:24
Someone should introduce AJ to Segata Sanshiro, it might change her mind, at least until she explodes......Twice
I know im late to the Party but i like your Story so far