• Published 5th Apr 2012
  • 3,090 Views, 39 Comments

Not Suitable for Celestia - Underdogg



Spike accidentally sends Twilight's naughty stories to the Princess.

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Chapter Three: Shetland (PART 1)

Author's Note: Chapter 3 will be a two part-er, so that I can avoid long delays. I'll try to keep this story going, but the time between chapter releases (until early June) will be a few weeks at least

“Now I suppose you're all wondering why I called you here tonight...” Rainbow Dash said, as she marched back and forth in front of a her four friends.

“Actually, yeah. I kinda am!” Applejack protested. Her impatience grew by the second, knowing that there were acres of fresh apple trees calling her name to be bucked.

“Settle down, AJ. This is really important - I think something is wrong.”

“Well then go ahead and tell us, dear!” Rarity said. “I have dozens of dresses to be made before tomorrow, and time is running thin.”

Rainbow Dash shot her a look before returning to the rest of the meeting.

“Alright, alright, hold your horses... anyway, I called you all here tonight because I think Twilight and Spike are up to something.”

At the sound of this, Pinkie Pie's ears shot up, and her trademark bright eyed face twinkled with delight.

“Ooh! Ooh! Are they planning a surprise party!?” Pinkie chirped excitedly. Rainbow Dash began to growl with impatience.
“I LOVE SURPRISE PARTIES!” Pinkie screamed. The rest of the five ponies winced as her piercing shriek rang through the air.

“Now look, everypony!” Rainbow Dash slammed her hooves down on the table in front of her. “I saw Twilight and Spike running as fast as they could towards the Everfree Forest. When I caught up with Twilight and Spike, both of them were shivering with nervousness, not unlike somepony who had just been caught doing something... wrong. I could see it.”

At this point Rainbow became entirely caught up with her own speech, dazzling the others and caused them to give each other worried looks.

“There was something in their eyes... something they were hiding... something they would never want a living soul to find out.”

Before Rarity had a chance to rebuke her, Rainbow Dash stuck a hoof in her direction, signalling for her to 'hold that thought'.

“Now, I respect privacy as much as the next pony, but what if they're doing something bad? What if they're... plotting to destroy Ponyville or something?!

Rarity looked at her multi-coloured friend in like she was an absolute nutcase.

“Okay, first of all, Rainbow Dash, have you ever stopped to think that maybe Twilight and Spike were actually being truthful, but were just nervous because you brow-beating them so much?”

Rainbow Dash eyed the ground pensively. “Nope. Not at all. In fact it never even crossed my mind until now.”

Rarity looked around at the other three. “See? This is what I'm talking about! Why does everything always have to be such a huge palaver?!” She got up and left, leaving the rest of the group to shuffle uncomfortably.

“She's right.” Applejack said, as she stood up and left the room. “Y'all talkin' mumbo-jumbo.”
“I guess... I should get going... see you later Rainbow Dash...” Came a hush voice from the corner, as the cream coloured pony herself carefully slipped out of the room.

“Fine! I don't need you guys anyway! I can handle this on my own!” Rainbow shouted to herself. She levitated above the ground for a moment, admiring the new-found motiviation she had given herself, when she felt a presence in the room along with her. A certain presence that was grinning gleefully, and bouncing multiple feet in the air.

“AND ME AS WELL!” Pinkie exclaimed, her face full of excitement... as usual.


Well into the thickness of Everfree Forest, two wandering figures waded through the darkness that lingered eerily in the air around them. The only light that guided their way was a weak light-spell emanating from Twilight's horn, and that wasn't nearly enough to ease their fear. Every twig-snap, every rustle of the leaves that sounded from the forest floor sent a jolt of terror up the spines of both of them.

“Tw-Twilight.. d'y..d'yknow where abouts we are right now?” Spike said through chattering fangs.

“I'm n-not sure Sp-Sp-Sp-Spike...” Came a stuttered reply. They both shivered as a gust of cool wind embraced them from behind like an unwanted bear-hug.

“Wait, Twi, did you hear th-that? Spike asked fearfully, praying that it was just his imagination.

“Oh hush, Spike, as if this isn't scary enough!”

“No, really! I think there's something over there!”

Spike began shifting uneasily towards a small shrubbery a couple metres away from the path. Twilight watched in both curiosity and horror as Spike was approaching his potential death.

“Spike!” She whispered. “Come back here, this instant!”. Spike ignored her orders and continued shuffling towards the bush, occasionally glancing at his scaly feet as he carefully placed one in front of the other.

“...a...anyone there?” Spike managed to find his voice. He nearly shrieked when a muffled sound of meat being chewed by ferocious jaws rang through the air from behind the shrubbery.

“Oh jeez, oh jeez!” Spike whispered to himself.

He could smell a pungent fried aroma in the air. “Is that... is that a fried chocolate bar or something? Damn, that reeks.”
He peeked his little purple head around the bush as slowly as he could. For a brief moment, Spike saw the silhouette of a small pony. A colt, or a filly? Before his question was answered, the shadowy figure leaped into the air with astounding force, letting out the most piercing, horrifying roar. Spike fell back in fright and screamed, as well as Twilight, who flailed a wild hoof, hoping to land a blow on something.

“AYEE, WEE LADDY, WHAT BE YOUR BIZNEES WANDERIN' AROUND THESE WUUDS AT NAAIIT.”

Neither Spike nor Twilight could properly see the pony, but his accent was... unique, and he spoke with a booming and deep voice, completely unmatching to his size.

“Wha-! S-sorry M-Mister, We'll j-j-j-j-just l-leave and g-go this way, and...”
The figure stepped out and revealed himself. He had a light-brown mane with a darker coloured mane, which lay frazzled upon his beefy neck.

One thing that was instantly noticeable at first sight, was how unbelievably short he was. He was shorter than Spike, but was completely out of proportion. His legs were minuscule compared the rest of his body, which completely juxtaposed the overall intimidation of his character.

When the pony saw who had sneaked up on him, he breathed a sigh of relief.

“Ayyyyeee... beg your pardons f'snappin' at ye like that. Y'see me ol' ball n' chain has been keepin' me on a strict diet. So I been sneakin' out back around these woods 'ere, tuckin' into some snacks.”

Twilight and Spike stared back at him with the utmost confusion.

“Well, don't all ye talk at once! The name's Sirathur, before ye jump up to ask us.”

“Sirathur?” Spike repeated to himself. “That's a funny name for a pony with a cutie mark of bagpipes.”

“Shut your mouth, laddy.”

Comments ( 3 )

Stereotypical Scottish Character GOOOO!

There's been a lack of scottish characters. I feel my race is sorely underrepresented.

549131 It might have something to do with the haggis.

So...are they gonna play HOOFgolf now? :rainbowlaugh:

:facehoof:

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