Becoming Her Toilet

bucknorris

bucknorris #1 · May 21st, 2014 · 8 · 8 ·

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No just... no.

cooldam

cooldam #2 · May 21st, 2014 · 3 · 1 ·

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i don't like scat much but this was a good story.

Jamin P Rose

Jamin P Rose #3 · May 21st, 2014 · 6 · 1 ·

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4424381
It's fine by me if you don't like it, it is a fetish fic after all.

Dat monster hunting pony

Dat monster hunting pony #4 · May 21st, 2014 · · ·

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PINKIE WHAT ARE YOU A DUNG BEETLE?!

Dat monster hunting pony

Dat monster hunting pony #5 · May 21st, 2014 · · ·

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I just read this for the lulz

Bloodmoon

Bloodmoon #6 · May 21st, 2014 · 3 · ·

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Super awesome :D

Cathius

Cathius #7 · May 21st, 2014 · · 15 ·

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It smells like furries in here!

SnowyFlanks

SnowyFlanks #8 · May 21st, 2014 · 3 · ·

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Not bad at all but seems like something that should have been several chapters not just one, it feels a little rushed and some of it comes out of nowhere.

Even so I like it and would love top read more like it.

Little_Draco

Little_Draco #9 · May 22nd, 2014 · 1 · ·

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Decent a few errors here and there but it was nice. Fix it up and it willbe better.

Cunt_Crusader

Cunt_Crusader #10 · May 23rd, 2014 · · 1 ·

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4424704

I knew what to expect but I was still shocked.

4425449

I hate furries too, but do you actually know what a furry is?

Jingle

Jingle #11 · May 26th, 2014 · 1 · ·

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It felt very rushed...

Comment posted by Psy Key deleted Jun 9th, 2015

Speedyblupi

Speedyblupi #13 · Jan 19th, 2015 · 1 · ·

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It's not the worst fic ever, but some parts of it are badly written.

Much of the story is just too matter of fact - made up of long strings of short sentences that each state one thing.

e.g.

"Twilight gave another moan as her cunt started to get wet. Pinkie used her tail to rub Twilight’s cunt, which got a louder moan out of Twilight. Pinkie continued her efforts driving Twilight closer and close to her climax. She could tell that Twilight was close and rolled Twilight onto her back. Pinkie dove in and started licking Twilight’s cunt.

This was enough to take Twilight over the edge. Twilight gripped Pinkie’s head with her hind legs as she came. Her juices spraying into Pinkie’s mouth and all over Pinkie’s face."

Pretty much the same thing has been written so many times - add a bit of variation, rather than going with overused descriptions which have effectively become cliches. Using the word "cunt" three times in a paragraph makes it even less engaging.

It's just boring when fiction is written like this.

The description of the fetish stuff is better, but still not good.

Spinner of Tales

Spinner of Tales #14 · Feb 26th, 2015 · 5 · ·

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Well, this isn't my fetish at all, but... it wasn't badly written. In fact, it was pretty decent.

My own rules state that I can't thumbs-down a story based on personal preference, only the quality of the writing. So there's that. Don't get me wrong, though... I don't want to thumbs-down this story. It's rare that somebody who writes this fetish is actually any good. Most of the stories in this fetish are, well, trollfics, and it's good to see some serious writing going on here.

Let's go over a few problems. One, it was too fast. The scene's could've been longer, and a bit more descriptive. Especially leading up to Pinkie's orgasm. But that's just me. I like a sense of buildup.

Two, there were a few grammar mistakes. Nothing major, and nothing that took away from the story as a whole.

So, here's my final rating. 7.5/10 and no thumb. It's a just-below-good scat/watersports fic. Which is actually incredible, because I've seen so many scat stories which are just pure shit. Did you see what I did there? I made a funny.

Anyhoo, if you work on your pacing and your grammar, I think I wouldn't mind reading another one of your stories.

Jamin P Rose