Yarrr!! WeirdBeard be in the writing mood, or something. Idunno, probably'll edit this later.
Cecil Evans has lived a long life. After enough hardships and loss to last several lifetimes, he has settled into his home in the small town of Montpelier. Little did he know that he would soon meet someone who would turn his life completely upside down. This is the story of how Cecil met Ditzy Doo.
Guru is such a boss for this amazing artwork.
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Wow, lotta potential here. Awesome narrative style, and I'm guessing there's something extra to the tale we don't know yet if this guy is telling his grandkids about it so casually, as though it happened years before. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Hm. Pony on Earth... but rather than the traditional angsty teen playing host, it's an 80-something grandfather?
Interesting enough to track.
Well this is certainly breaking a few of the conventions of the pony-ends-up-on-earth trope rather early, and in a good way I think.
I'm interested to see where you go with it.
er... cecil evans? no offense but isnt that the guy from saw who robbed the clinic? besides the weird simalarity in name the story is good. i am going to see if it gets better. (tracking)
I really like where this is going. Keep up the good work!
More?
411690
Wait, really? I honestly have never watched the Saw series, that's news to me. In truth, I slightly dedicated the name to my recently deceased grandfather (last name different for respect and because 'Hugie' (pronounced 'HUE GHEE') doesn't flow too well (I'm still proud to have the name of course.))
I really appreciate the feedback, thanks to all of you. More is on the way, but nothing too foreboding. The story as a whole will be relatively short and things will make a bit more sense in the next chapter.
YOU ROCK!
Interesting story you got here, hope you make Chapter 2.
Cute very cute and well written in my eyes. But i may not be the best to tell you that. Still i like it.
.....First ( had to do it )
456695
Don't disqualify yourself that fast, KillerofStars. I completely agree with you. The style of writing is well-done and very pleasant to read. I also really like the author's approach to the oft-overdone pony-meets-human trope, bringing in a character like Cecil. I look forward to seeing where this goes.
Again, lots of potential, and I look forward to seeing where you take it from here. The first chapter was an awesome hook to get readers interested, but I get the feeling that this chapter was mostly to help set the stage for chapters to come. With Cecil now convinced that Ditzy is real, a veterinarian with grandchildren who watch MLP within easy reach (even if she is unconscious), and everyone ready to start asking questions, I sense the next chapter will be where this story starts picking up steam.
Oh, by the way, error in the last paragraph. "I'm sure you have and I both have a lot more questions for each other." Probably ought to take that word out.
457217
Good catch on that, thanks for picking it up.
You're right on the money again good sir, things are gonna intensify from here. I appreciate your comment, as well as everyone else's thus far.
THANKS!
I think I'll put this one on my favorites list. Looking forward to seeing more.
You made it... you made me track a PiE fanfic!
This writing, the character development, the amount of detail. Everything in this fanfic is completely balanced out! You must be like some sort of writing god or something, I'll tell you.
Fav'd, Thumbed Up and Watched.
One last thing: He called her Ditzy in front of Abby, so it still amuses me that Ditzy was surprised when she heard Abby call her name. But I digress; Ditzy is Ditzy after all.
PS: Just the first chapter alone is better than My Little Dashie
FIRST!!!
no worries its been a weird month for all of us
Not bad, a bit sillier than I was expecting, but Ditzy's grief over Dinky more than made up for it. Don't worry about the length, everyone is frantic this time of year. Excellent job!
I love this story and has nothing more coherent to say.
This is pretty good.
One issue with the story.
The views are lacking.
There should be more.
Hellz yeah! I knew this fic was gonna be something special, and here it is. Awesome job!
I think the new question is who and where the Blue Pegasus is....
646524 Huh...you're right. I mean, how many blue pegasi do we kno...
RUN FOR IT, RAINBOW DASH!
646538
That was my initial thought, but somehow I would expect the rainbow mane to override the classification of blue pegasus....
Oh yea, time for some action!
(I actually been reading this story since I saw it at the featured box).
Oh! So the story takes an action-oriented turn!
Oh well, we'll see what happens!
What interests me is that the buffoon thinks that nopony in Equestria will know what he's up to. I think we know of somepony (hint:
) who does. The reason for her delay is that she's probably wondering if it would be polite to introduce Xanatos Lite to some of the jollier examples of Equestrian wildlife.
Well, to be honest with all of you, I've been putting off Chapter Five for a long time. I was really apprehensive about it because my initial ideas for it were something that I never even imagined for the story when I first started writing this. However, after I re-read the comments, I realized that I owe the story the proper ending. I want to thank all of you for your awesome feedback and the support you've shown throughout. It's been fantastic.
Now to address some of the oddities in Chapter Four. 648044 Cupcake points for figuring out that suave villain was one of the sources (wasn't 'Gargoyles' such an incredible show?)! 'Course, Darian is nowhere near as suave and charismatic as Xanatos; he's kinda mixed with the G-Man from HL as well as filled with tons of stupidity and pride. Anywho, thanks again and expect the conclusion to be released this week!
That sir was.....
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/334/198/ff1.png
So...
There is one thing left unanswered from all this...
Ditzy wasn't the pegasus they were after, because they said she was supposed to be blue.
Which means 2 pegasi went to Earth, but only 1 went back....
Who and where the hell is this second pegasus?
...I don't believe this is the end of Cecil's story yet....
files.sharenator.com/1282175676087_Ocarina_of_Time_Title_Theme_HD-s400x536-199903-580.jpg
Undoubtedly a good story, but the ending left me somewhat...unsatisfied. It felt like it just ended so abruptly. After the slow character and setting establishment of the first three chapters, you give the impression that this story will be a unique take on the My Little Dashie formula, so after having established those expectations, the abrupt action and plot twists of the last two chapters feel far too fast-paced and out of place.
Again, an enjoyable story with a solid foundation, but your pacing needs some work.
795406 Why thank you, good sir!
797068 I really do respect and appreciate your opinion on this. You've been there since the beginning and I thank you for sticking through. In hindsight, the flow was really thrown off in the transition. I realize I still have a lot to improve on and this story definitely deserved better writing. Again, thank you for your comments.
795743 I really apologize about this; I should have addressed the issue to begin with. In chapter four when Darian asked where the pegasus was, he already knew that it was Ditzy who came through. The reason Duncan (who wasn't that bright to begin with) stated "This one's not blue" was referring to Luna (he thought the machine worked completely.) I can be placed at fault for that, I relied too much on inferring the notion in chapter five. Sorry to say, but it was only Ditzy who came.
Thanks for reading and keep on rocking!
797417 Oh.
Yeah, it felt like you were hinting at Rainbow Dash being it there somewhere. Maybe have him also say "And why the hell is it missing a horn?" to avoid confusion. Or something else. I dunno, I'm not even going to PRETEND to be a professional writer.
797918 No worries, I appreciate the fix.
795406 I second this pic
Good work there, enjoyed it all immensely.
I enjoyed the story and was worth my time. I am favoriting it and giving it my David Crespo stamp of approval
neat little story, kinda generic but that didn't affect it at all.