• Published 22nd May 2014
  • 1,230 Views, 56 Comments

Twisted Metal: Equestria - Lab Matt



Discord is free once again. And he brought back a game he created over a millennium ago, before his imprisonment.

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6. Like A Wave In The Sea

"An' now, it's perfect!" Applejack said after re-drawing Rarity's cutie mark on the hood of Rare Gem.

"Gee, finally." Rainbow Dash said. She was sitting on the branch of an apple tree with her forelegs crossed. "I never thought somepony would take so long to draw something so simple!"

"Whatever do ya mean, Rainbow Dash?" she asked. "Like hay this was simple! Ah had to make sure the colors would blend well, to make sure the pattern was right, the space between the gems was measured correctly an' don't even get me started on how hard it was to choose the correct shade of blue with only mah memory as reference."

"Are... Are you sure you're ok?" she asked before jumping down from the tree.

"Absolutely! Why do ya ask?"

"It's because I know you since I moved to Ponyville and you were never one to worry about those kind of details. You would just grab a paintbrush, splash paint all over it and say 'job well done' or something like that!"

"Well, maybe Ah just grew fond o' details."

"And since when did you started using that... Refined vocabulary?"

"Ya'll have to be more specific."

"It's just that you--" she stopped talking and blinked a couple of times. "Were your eyes always blue?"

"Since Ah was a filly, why?"

"I don't know, I thought they were... More green!"

"Maybe yer mind is just playin' tricks on ya, Rainbow Dash, darlin'!"

"'Darling'? What happened to the so popular 'sugarcube'?"

"Well, Ah just thought 'sugarcube' was waaaay too unprofessional, so Ah decided to adopt a less casual term!"

"Is... Is this some kind of prank, Applejack?"

"Ya know as well as Ah do that a refined mare such as mahself would never go around prankin' ponies, Rainbow Dash!"

"Applejack? Refined?" Rainbow Dash couldn't stop herself from bursting into laughter. "You know, Applejack, just because you'll be driving Rarity's car, it doesn't mean you have to be prissy like her!" the farmer glared at the daredevil. "Anyway, I need to go now. It was nice spending some time with you, but I still need to polish Rainboom. My girl needs to look as awesome as the driver. See ya!" the cyan pegasus then dashed away, leaving the Apple mare alone with the white Mustang, who looked at herself on the side mirror.

"Ah'm not anythin' like Rarity!" she pressed a hoof against her cheek. "But maybe with some makeup, Ah would--" she shook her head. "NO! AH DON'T WEAR NO MAKEUP! AH'M AN ALL NATURAL FARM MARE!" Applejack sighed, crestfallen. "What the hay is wrong with me?"

* * *

Horseshoe Bay. Several cars were standing on the shore, facing the vast ocean. Among them were a lavender Corvette, a white Mustang, a cyan Lamborghini, a car colored with three shades of grey, a blue car with speakers on the outside of the doors and ceiling and a mint-colored Mini-Cooper with a very peculiar driver inside:

"Oh my Celestia, look at this!" Lyra said, pointing at the steering wheel with a huge smile on her face. "Those spaces, they were clearly made to be held by fingers! The fingers of a hand! And the hand of a human! Oh my Celestia, oh my Celestia, oh my Celestia!"

"I'm starting to think I should have tried harder to stop you from participating..." Bon Bon said, standing outside the car, leaning against the door with open window.

"Are you kidding me, woman? This is the best moment of my whole life!"

"Please, don't call me those weird human words!"

"They're not weird, they're cute."

"Anyway, good luck! And be careful." she looked around at the other cars. "I don't trust any of them."

"Oh, but you can totally trust Vinyl!" she pushed Bon Bon out of the way and shouted: "Let's do our best, right, Vinyl?!"

"Aw, yeah!!" the white unicorn mare inside the car with speakers shouted back.

"And who is that?" a grey earth pony mare standing in front of Vinyl's open window asked.

"Lyra Heartstrings, old friend from music school. She's cool!"

"Oh, right. But you should keep an eye on her as well. You never know who might be willing to backstab you in order to get the prize." she sighed. "It's not too late to change your mind, Vinyl! Please, get out of this car, you have no idea what happens in this Twisted Metal tournament. It's really dangerous!"

"Octy, c'mon, you know me. 'Danger' is my middle name and 'Excitement' is my last! Besides, you know nothing and nopony can beat me. That wish is as good as mine!"

"Is it really worth it? To endanger your life like just so you can get a wish granted?"

"'Just'? 'JUST'?! Tavi, are you even listening to what you say? The winner gets a wish granted. Any wish! That's not something that happens often."

"I know, but--"

"Don't worry, Tavi! My wish is worth it."

"And what is your wish, anyway? You never told me."

Vinyl smiled and levitated her sunglasses hanging from her horn, then put it on her face. "You will know once it's granted."

"Welcome one, welcome all, to the third Twisted Metal of the new generation!" Discord said, popping out of nowhere in front of the cars. "I hope you're all ready for another fun tournament. Eye on the prize, everypony! It's to die for."

"Just shut up and start this already!" Rainbow Dash shouted.

"Oh, I know you're excited for the contest to begin, Rainbow Dash, but I ask you to wait just a little longer."

"I am not excited for this! What are we waiting for, anyway?"

"My Guest of Honor, of course."

"Another one of your brainwashed drones?"

"What makes you think I could brainwash somepony, huh?"

"You already did. Twice!"

"But thanks to you they didn't stick around for long, so it doesn't count. And this one came to me willingly! I'm still not sure how she managed to locate me, though... But the things is, she came to me and asked for my assistance. And who am I to refuse to help somepony in need? Specially one who had friends that couldn't understand her."

"Ah sure hope this 'Guest of Honor' o' his ain't who Ah think it is!" Applejack said.

Suddenly, they all heard a distorted, yet somehow sweet tune. It was very faint at first, but it grew louder, as if the source of it was approaching.

"And there she comes!"

A bright pink ice cream truck with cupcakes, candies and balloons painted all over it and covered in scratches joined the contestants. Above it, the Pinkie Pie head now had black eyes with only red dots in the middle, making the once funny-looking bobblehead something that came out of somepony's nightmares. The driver was a dark pink earth pony with a darker pink straight mane.

"Hello, everypony!" she said with a deeper voice than the one they were all used to hear. "I'm sorry for taking so long, I had a few... Minor setbacks on my way here."

"So you're working with him now, huh, Pinkie Pie?" Rainbow Dash said with an angry look on her face.

"Pinkamena." she corrected. "Call me by my name, please. Pin-ka-me-na!"

"Why are ya sidin' with him Pink-- amena?" Applejack asked.

"Because, unlike you, Discord knows what true fun is!"

"I feel the same way about you, Pinkamena." the draconequus said.

"And I'm afraid to ask, but..." Twilight sighed. "What were those 'minor setbacks' you mentioned?"

"Oh, just a couple of guards, nothing much. Wanted me to stop because they thought I 'looked suspicious'! Unfortunately I was in a hurry and couldn't stay for long, but they simply wouldn't let me go and kept asking questions and questions and questions... Until I got fed up and left them. They teleported in front of me, shouting 'HALT!', but this wouldn't work twice against old me, so I didn't stop."

Twilight's eyes widened. "Y-You ran over those guards?!"

"Yeah, I guess I did!"

"Pinkie, how could you?!"

"Eh, it's not like they were important, anyway. There are tons of others to replace those two. And it's Pinkamena! Not Pinkie. And are we here to talk, or are we here to fight?"

"Well said, Pinkamena!" Discord said. "Let's get this show on the road."

"Do you really expect us to compete here?" Rainbow Dash asked. "There's not even room to breathe in this beach, how do you expect us to race and battle each other?"

Discord laughed. "Silly Rainbow Dash, this is just the pickup point! The tournament will take place..." he pointed his finger at the ocean. "There!"

"Underwater?" one of the other contestants asked.

"Eh, maybe next time! But no, we're going to a special place that, just like the last one, was created by yours truly! Well, not exactly 'created', I forced the natives to leave then changed the shape a bit, but you got the idea."

He snapped his fingers and all the cars disappeared, leaving two mares behind.

"Do you think they will be ok?" Octavia asked.

"We can only hope they will..." Bon Bon said.

* * *

All the cars appeared in several places of a very large island shaped like Discord's face. Rainbow Dash, Applejack and Twilight spawned in the middle of some kind of abandoned village.

"Ah can't belive Pinkie would side with that rotten thug!" Applejack said. "Of all the worst things that could happen, this is the, worst, possible, thing!"

Twilight blinked a few times. "Is she ok?"

"I'm not really sure..." Rainbow Dash said.

"We have to save our friend from the claws o' that fiend!" the apple farmer said. "Let's go, everypony!"

She accelerated and was soon followed by her two friends. Not too far away from there, two other cars spawned; one was a mint Mini-Cooper and the other was blue and had speakers.

"Looks like we're together on this one." Lyra said with a smile.

"Aw yeah! Just like in the old times, Ly."

"So, are you ready to kick some B major flank?"

"Oh, how I missed your puns, Ly! Now, like that freaky dude said..." she pressed a button, making all the speakers play Dubstep loudly. "Let's get this show on the road!"

"P0N-3 and Heartstrings are back on stage!"

They accelerated at the same time, looking for another contestant to battle. They soon found it, and it was a pink ice cream truck.

"Hey there, Pinkie Pie!" Vinyl called.

"It's Pinkamena! And hello, Vinyl."

"Haven't seen ya since that fashion show of your friend! And what happened to your mane? Looks pretty badass, but it doesn't really suit you."

"Want me to do the same to yours?"

"Eh, not really, but thanks for the--"

"Too bad, I'm doing it anyway!"

Pinkamena slammed her truck against the DJ's car, making her lose control of it for a few seconds.

"Are you ok, Vinyl?" Lyra asked.

"What the hay, Pinkie?!"

"It's..." she slammed her truck against the car again. "PINKAMENA!"

Lyra slammed her car against Pinkamena's truck from the other side. "You leave her alone!"

"Oh, you want me to battle you, then?" she slammed her ice cream truck against the Mini-Cooper. "Fine by me."

* * *

The three Cutie Mark Crusaders, now driving their new car, Cutie Mark Crossroader V2 - which was very similar to the original but, instead of being yellow, white and orange, it was colored with three shades of grey - were all wearing helmets.

"Are ya sure nopony will recognize us?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I doubt they will." Scootaloo said. "Even Rainbow Dash only recognized me after I lost my helmet. It's a very good disguise!"

"At least you have somepony to recognize you..." Sweetie Belle said before sighing.

"Don't worry, Sweetie Belle!" Apple Bloom patted her friend's back. "We will wish yer sister back to life as well."

"It's a promise." Scootaloo said.

Sweetie Belle smiled. "Thanks, you girls. You two are true friends."

Scootaloo then looked around. "Enemy from the left. Slow down!"

The earth pony let go of the accelerator and the unicorn slowly pressed the brake. The pegasus turned the car around and the other car that was on their way to slam against the CMC V2 missed it, slamming against a tree.

"Good job, Cutie Mark Crusaders!"

"A filly, huh? It goes against my conduct to hurt fillies, but here is either win or lose." the stallion driving the car said before aiming the rocket launcher on the hood at the grey car. "And I'm not about to lose just because I couldn't set my inner gentlecolt aside."

"How did he know Scootaloo is a filly?" Apple Bloom asked.

"We have more important things to worry about now, Apple Bloom." Scootaloo said, looking at the rocket launcher.

He shot a rocket at the CMC V2. The explosion raised a huge cloud of smoke. The stallion smirked.

"And that makes two down!" he said. "Now, off to find my next-- Huh?"

The cloud of smoke dissipated, revealing that the car was still there.

"How... How did we--" Apple Bloom asked, then loked at Sweetie Belle. She wasn't wearing her helmet anymore, her eyes were closed shut and her horn was glowing green. There was also a green bubble of magic surrounding the car.

"Sw-Sweetie Belle?" Scootaloo asked, sounding surprised. "Since when you can use magic?"

"I... I can?" she opened her eyes and the shield disappeared.

"That was awesome, Sweetie Belle!" Apple Bloom praised.

"What did I do?"

"Ya just saved our lives. Yer the best!"

"Payback time, mister." Scootaloo said, then pressed a button, making blades come out of the middle of the four wheels. She drove toward the other car, making the blades cut the stallion's tires in half.

"USING MAGIC IS CHEATING!" the stallion shouted as the Cutie Mark Crusaders drove away.

* * *

Lyra and Vinyl were looking around, looking for the ice cream truck in the jungle.

"Wheeere's Pinkamena?" she asked, her voice and the song of her truck echoing throughout the entire area. "Wheeere's Pinkamena?"

"Her car is huge." Lyra said. "How could we miss her?"

"Wheeere's Pinkamena?"

"And it's freaking pink!" Vinyl said angrily. "How the buck is she hiding that humongous thing in a forest?"

Suddenly a missile came from apparently nowhere and exploded in front of them, sending both cars tumbling backwards. Pinkamena's ice cream truck then slammed against Vinyl's car and dragged it away.

"HERE I AM!" the pink pony shouted.

Vinyl was dizzy; after the explosion, she hit her face against the steering wheel and she could feel her horn throbbing. She was so dizzy that she could barely react when Pinkamena threw her car off a cliff and into the ocean.

"This isn't how I pictured my death." she thought. "I always thought I would die of overdose during an awesome party or something like that." she smiled. "Heh. There goes my wish. I'm sorry Octavia. I only wish I wasn't addicted to that crap anymore, so I would be the kind of mare that you could love. I am so... So sorry..." she fainted before seeing a golden flash on the passenger's seat.

* * *

Twilight braked her car when she saw the pink ice cream truck. Applejack and Rainbow Dash, who were right behind her, braked as well.

"We meet at last, 'friends'." Pinkamena said.

"Pinkie, why are you doing this?" Twilight asked.

"Oh, don't act like you never done it before, Twilight." she said. "In fact, you were the one who exploded me last month, weren't you?"

"It was different! Discord was manipulating me."

"She's right." Rainbow Dash agreed. "And you look just like that time when you were sad when you thought we didn't wanted to be your friend anymore, so there's no excuse."

"Yer the one who doesn't want to be our friend now." Applejack said.

"But we're still friends!" she said with a smile. "We're just having fun while playing on different teams."

"This is not fun, Pinkie Pie!"

Pinkamena shot a rocket at Twilight's front wheels. The explosion sent the car flying, then it landed on top of Rainbow Dash's car.

"My name is not Pinkie Pie." she said angrily.

Applejack gasped. "How could you?!" she said.

"Just because we're friends, it doesn't mean I'll go easy on you. We're still on different teams!"

Applejack blinked and her left eye, which was blue, turned green. With a mean look, she accelerated and slammed her car against Pinkamena's truck. "Ya darned monster!" she said.

"Oh, come on, Applejackie, there's no need to say those hurtful things."

"Ya just smashed Twilight against Rainbow, do ya think that wasn't hurtful?"

"Well, I didn't say that, I did that."

"Yer not Pinkie Pie. Yer not Pinkamena either. Yer a monster! An' Ah'm gonna tear that monster right out of yer body an' bring our ol' friend back! Yer not--"

Her windshield broke when Pinkamena threw a knife at her, stabbing her on the chest.

"Shut up and bleed, you motherbu--"

A grey car slammed against her truck.

"You stay away from Apple Bloom's sister." Scootaloo said.

"Oh, good morning, fillies. Came to taste some of Auntie Pinkamena's sweet ice cream?"

"You already killed Sweetie Belle's sister. I won't let you take another family member from one of us."

"Says the one with no family."

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom gasped.

"Did she just...?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Ah can't believe she did!" Apple Bloom said.

"That's it." Scootaloo said. "You're going down."

Scootaloo pressed a button, making the blades appear on CMC V2's wheels, but Pinkamena pressed another button before the winged ghost could do another thing, making the giant bobbing head detach itself from the truck and smash the grey car. The coil spring then pulled the head back in place.

"Are ya ok up there, Scoots?" Apple Bloom asked.

"I guess I am." she said. "What about you two down there?"

"We're ok!" Sweetie Belle said. "But we can't press any of the pedals. I think they're stuck."

"Take this as a warning." Pinkamena said before driving away. "Next time I won't be as merciful."

* * *

"I knew you could do it." Discord said while clapping. "I simply knew it. Of course, after all those upgrades I installed in your Sweet Tooth, I would be surprised if you didn't."

"And now, to my wish." Pinkamena said with an evil grin.

"Yes, of course! After all, you earned it. What is it that you want, little Pinkamena?"

"Oh, so much things that I want... But I guess I can have all of those with one single wish!"

"Then do it. I can't wait to hear what kind of wish a pony with a mind so similar to my own would want."

"I want... Power!"

"Yeah, makes sense. But unfortunately, that's what makes it a bad wish. Let's grant it and be over wi--"

"Your power!"

Discord had a surprised look on his face. "I'm sorry, what?"

"It's exactly what you heard. I want your power. I want Twisted Metal to be mine. It's really fun to be a player, but it seems that being the viewer is also fun. Maybe even more!"

"Bu-But you can't do this. Twisted Metal is my thing! Now wish for something else."

"Nuh-uh-uh! 'The prize is anything you may want, even if it is impossible.', that's the rule. And that's what I want! You have to grant my wish. Now give me your power. Give me Twisted Metal! GIVE IT TO ME NOW!"

"Now that was unexpected. With a mind so similar to mine, I should have seen this coming." Discord closed his eyes and sighed. "Your wish..." Reluctantly, he snapped his fingers. "...is granted." the blue horn on his forehead disappeared and reappeared on Pinkamena's head. She felt it with her hoof and her grin grew wider. She clopped her hooves together and Discord disappeared.

"I am Pinkamena..." she said, her eyes and horn glowing blue. "...and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal."

Author's Note:

How this fanfic is done:
"Eh, I'm tired of writing..."
*watches a few cutscenes from several Twisted Metal games*
"And back to writing!"


Oh, and about the link I left up there, I'm sorry if you didn't like, but I simply had to put it there. Sweet Tooth's Ice Cream Truck Tune is so awesome and creepy at the same time, it would be a crime against perfection to leave it to the imagination! Again, if you didn't liked, I'm so sorry. And if you liked, you are very welcome!

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