• Published 22nd May 2014
  • 1,233 Views, 56 Comments

Twisted Metal: Equestria - Lab Matt

Discord is free once again. And he brought back a game he created over a millennium ago, before his imprisonment.

  • ...

22. Size Does (Not) Matter

"Do you like it, little fillies?" Discord asked. "A few weeks ago I was playing around with parts, disassembling and reassembling every vehicle inside my garage. And, by a mere accident, this beauty was created. Be honest, what do you think, what do you think?"

Scootaloo tilted her head, looking at the machine in front of her and her partner, Silver Spoon. "I... Really don't know what you say! What is the word I'm looking for here? It's... It's... Unique?"

"I think it's ugly!" Silver Spoon honestly said.

"Hey! That's it! That's the word! It's extremely, painfully, dag nasty ugly. How does it even work?"

In front of the two fillies was a pair of wheels. But not a common pair of wheels; they were both twice the size of a grown pony with nothing more than a platform connecting them to each other.

"I'll take that as constructive criticism." he said. "It's not too hard to drive it. First, step on that platform." and so the fillies did. "Now, do you see a hole in each wheel?" they inspected it closer and there was indeed a hole in each wheel, big enough for a foreleg to fit in. "It was originally planned for a single adult pony, but I guess two fillies can handle it just as well. Now stick a hoof in the hole - don 't worry, I promise it won't hurt!" reluctantly, the fillies slowly slid their hooves in the wheels; Scootaloo stick her left foreleg in the left wheel and Silver Spoon stick her right foreleg in the right wheel. "Now, since you're close friends and all, you won't mind wrapping your other foreleg around your partner, right? You know, for support!" they looked at each other and nooded. Silver Spoon and Scootaloo then stood on their hind legs and wrapped their forelegs around each other's neck. "Comfortable?"

"I don't know how comfortable a pony can get here, but I'm as comfortable as possible, I guess." Scootaloo said.

"Ditto!" Silver Spoon said with a nod.

"Then, I believe you are ready!"

The fillies heard a Clang! sound coming from the wheels. Afraid of what was happening in there, the fillies tried to pull their hooves out of the machine, but no matter how hard they pulled, they wouldn't budge.

"I-I'm stuck!" Silver Spoon said.

"M-Me too!" Scootaloo said, still trying to free herself. "Discord, what did you do to us?!"

"It's just a safety measure, so you won't fall off!"

"How do we even move this thing?" the pegasus asked.

"No, Scoots, the question is 'how do we get out of here?'" the earth pony said.

"There are some buttons and levers inside the wheels. Just twist your hooves around and you'll find them. And, uh, about Silvy's question... You know, I never thought about that! Have fun trying to figure that out."

"DISCORD!" they shouted at the same time, still trying to free themselves.

"So, what's going on in this neck of the woods? Where's Princess Twilight?"

"She's a busy mare now, Discord!" Rainbow Dash said. "Since the Princesses mysteriously disappeared..."

"Let's just pretend you had nothing to do with this." Fleetfoot briefly interrupted.

"...somepony had to make the important decisions in their place." Dash finished.

"Oh, what a shame. I was really looking forward to hear what kind of insults and threats she would throw at me this time! Oh, well. Then I imagine there's no pointing in waiting for her to arrive. To Twisted Metal!"

With a snap of his fingers, the drivers disappeared. All of them reappeared in different places of a very bright town, even though it was already nighttime. Fleetfoot and Rainbow Dash looked around for a while, when the Senior Wonderbolt gasped.

"This-This is Manehattan!" she said. "Don't tell me he evacuated a whole city just to turn it into an arena?"

"'Evacuated'?" Rainbow Dash asked, pointing at a window of one of the several houses, where a filly stood inside, looking at them. "I don't think so!"

"This is one of Equestria's biggest cities! Thousands of ponies live in here! Of all the places he could choose..."

"Sick bastard..." the multicolored mare mumbled between gritted teeth, tightly gripping the steering wheel.

"We'll have to be extremely careful. If we hit one of those houses, we might--"

Rainbow Dash noticed the eyes of the filly widen as she ran as far as she could from the window. Rainbow Dash turned her head and her eyes widened as well. "LOOK OUT!"

She accelerated Rainboom, dodging on the last second a car coming at them at full speed. The car then crashed against the house beside the one where Dash saw the young filly.

"Discord, you monster, how could you?!" Fleetfoot shouted.

"Ah, you know what they say, 'it's much more fun, I must confess, with lives on the line. Not mine, of course, but yours, old colt, now, that'll be just fine'."

* * *

"Turn left, Silver Spoon!"

"Like this?"

"No, my left!"

"Your left is my left!"

"Then turn right, dodge that hydrant."

"Then we need to turn left!"

"That's what I said!"

From a dark alley, Diamond Sombra Pie, from inside their gold plated ice cream truck, observed the pilots of the giant wheels struggling to keep the contraption under control, but failing miserably.

"We should put them out of their misery." Sombra's voice echoed in Diamond Tiara's mind.

"Come ooooon, are you kidding? This is so amusing!" Pinkamena's voice inside her head replied. "I haven't had that much fun since we tamed Cerberus, let me watch a while longer!"

"Every second we spend here is another second without Discord's godly powers in my hooves. Let's just get this over with!"

"Hey, for your information, half of this brain is mine.You're not the only one dictating the orders here, so whatever I say goes, too!"

Sombra groaned. "Maybe I should wish to not be stuck with you all the time instead..."

"I saved you from Tartarus, you should be grateful!"

"Is at moments like these that I wonder if I made the right choice. Wait... 'Right'? That's it!" Diamond Tiara closed her eyes for a moment and, when she opened them, her right eye was red and green with purple smoke coming out of them and her left eye was blue, the sclera once again white.

"What... What did you do?" she asked, but only the left side of her lips seemed to move.

"You claim that half of this pitiful brain belongs to you, right?" now, only the right side of Diamond Tiara's lips seemed to move. "Then by all means, keep it! But of course, you only get to keep one half of our body as well. So sit back and relax as much as you want." using the right hoof, Sombra/Tiara engage the first gear and accelerated. "My half will get down to business!"

"Hey hey hey, that's so not fair!" the left hoof then grabbed the steering wheel, but was slapped away by the right hoof. "Sombra, we're a team, remember?"

"I try as hard as I possibly can not to."

Gold Tooth caught up to Silver Spoon and Scootaloo rather quickly, - despite the fact that Pinkamena's side was constantly trying to stop Sombra's - mostly because the two fillies still couldn't control their vehicle very well and were smashing against all sorts of things: building walls, newsstands, bus stops...

The noise coming from the streets alerted the whole city of the imminent peril, making ponies flee in the most chaotic manners possible; pegasi flew away, constantly bumping against each other, while unicorns and earth ponies ran - only a few lucky ones manage to get into carriages. Discord laughed.

"This reminds me of the old times." he said.

Without thinking twice, the four Wonderbolts jumped out of their cars to help the population escape: since Rainbow Dash and Fleetfoot were the fastest of the group, they scouted the city from above, looking for the safer escape routes. Soarin' helped the pegasi form lines so they could escape without hurting or endangering each other. On the ground, Spitfire lead the ground ponies to the escape routes her subordinates traced.

"...and after crossing the bridge, everypony is safely out of town!" Fleetfoot finished her report.

"Great job, you two! Now, Fleetfoot, go help Soarin' evacuate the pegasi. Rainbow Dash, you're with me!"

Dash and Fleetfoot saluted their captain, the latter then flew up.

"What is my mission, ma'am?" Rainbow asked, still saluting her.

"Have you memorized the escape route?"

"And two alternate ones, in case the main option becomes unavailable!"

"Awesome! Now, you go to the front and get those ponies out of town. I'll be on the back, making sure everypony else will follow suit."

"Yes, ma'am!" she quickly moved to the front of the line. "Everypony, follow me, we'll get you out of here."

After instantly recognizing the uniform she was wearing, the ponies of Manehattan did exactly as they were told. On the back of the line, Spitfire saw a car coming straight at them. There was no time to react and it was going to collide against the line at any mom--

Suddenly, a pair of giant wheels fell on top of the car, smashing it and making it stop where it stood.

"Sorry!" the pegasus filly between the wheels shouted as the wheels rolled away.

"What... Just happened?" Spitfire asked, tilting her head.

"Locked on target!" Sombra said. "For once, please, do what I say and shoot."

Pinkamena shrugged. "Whatever, the buzz was gone long ago, anyway."

With the press of a button, Gold Tooth shot a missile at the fillies, but when it was so close to touching their vehicle, the wheels jumped really high.

"What the--"

The missile hit the ground, opening a crater on the asphalt, and the wheels landed on the road behind Gold Tooth.

"Good job, Silvy!" Scootaloo said, patting her friend on the back.

"Should I tell her that it was an accident?" the earth pony filly thought.

"I'm going to kick your Cutie Marks!" Scootaloo yelled at the golden truck in front of them. "Silver Spoon, do the thing!"

Silver Spoon nodded, then twisted her hoof and pressed a button. A faint green glow surrounded the massive wheels, then the vehicle suddenly jumped into the air.

"And now they explode and fireworks fly everywhere!" Pinkamena said full of glee.

But the explosion never happened and the "car" was now coming back down.

"Funny, that's usually how it goes when glowy things fly to the sky."

"I don't think this is going to end well. Pinkamena, engage fifth gear, full speed ahead!"

"Okie dokie lokie!"

She did as she was told and Sombra stepped as hard as he could on the accelerator. When the wheels hit the ground, a green energy wave spread across the area, making giant fissures appear on the asphalt and a few walls on the buldings in the area, as well as making every single glass window in a 50-meter radius shatters, including Gold Tooth's, which was far away enough of the impact area to avoid severe immediate damage, but not far away enough to not be sent flying and smash against the wall of the third floor of a building.

"I... I did the thing..." Silver said between pants.

"Good job!" Scootaloo said, hoofbumping her friend.

"It... It was pretty good, wasn't it? Heheh."

"Well, well, well. After I gave your body back, I didn't even expected to see you competing again, but here you war, in the winner circle once again. I tip my hat to you!" Discord, who was sitting on top of one of the wheels, said while tipping the white Fedora he was wearing. "And just because you were so entertaining tonight, spreading chaos all over Manehattan with that machine of mine, I'll give you two one special gift!"

With a snap of his fingers, Discord released the grip of the wheels on their hooves. The duo lost their balance and faceplanted on the road.

"Now, for the reason anyone plays this game to begin with, your wish! What is it gonna be?"

Silver Spoon looked at the golden car with half of it smashed through a wall of a building. She shifted her gaze to Scootaloo. "Whatever you wish, Scoots."

Scootaloo looked at the concerned expression in her friend's face, then sighed.

"Discord, I wish you to free Diamond Tiara from those demons' control."

Silver Spoon's eyes widened. "S-Scootaloo, you...?"

"We're friends now, Silvy! And, even though I can't stand that filly, if she makes you happy, then... Yes, that's my wish!"

"Awwww, I love true friendship!" Discord said while wiping a tear. "Those are much more fun to destroy. But let's save it for another day! Your wish is granted!"

Discord snapped his fingers and disappeared.

Inside Gold Tooth, Diamond Tiara slowly opened her eyes.

"Owwww, my head... Where... Where am I?" she struggled to open the door and, when she did, she fell on the carpet the ice cream truck was on top of. After struggling to get up, she felt something coming up her throat, which her body gladly got rid of, covering the carpet in front of her with a small pile of a pink material similar to bubblegum. Once Tiara was finished coughing, she looked at it and pressed her back against Gold Tooth, as if the pink mass was going to hurt her.

"Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew! Ew!" she said. "What is that, and what was it doing inside me?"

The pink mass twitched, and that was the last drop before Diamond Tiara ran away, screaming. Slowly, the pink bubblegum-like pile began to grow and chance its shape to one of a pony. More specifically a mare. A pink mare with pink mane and deep blue eyes with green sclera and purple smoke gently flowing out of them.

"Why am I going on?" she looked at her hooves. "My body is how did this happened? I'm sure Discord, you had something to do with why, Discord? I know you have a second and I am very grateful, but I want an explanation!"

"Nothing complicated, really!" Discord said while coming out of the bathroom of the room they were in, holding a pink towel. "I just had so much fun with you two in these past few months that I couldn't just send you back to Tartarus! I couldn't bring your body back too, Sombrero, but you've been mindmates for so long that I don't think you mind!"

"First, I hate sharing a mind with this pink do realize that you just gave us another chance to steal your powers, right?"

"I know what I did, Pink Sombra, I always know. Well, except that one time a thousand years ago, but I fixed that already. Anyway, looking forward to see you two and your strategies to beat my game next month!"

He snapped his fingers and disappeared.

"I am Discord, and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal."

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