• Published 22nd May 2014
  • 1,233 Views, 56 Comments

Twisted Metal: Equestria - Lab Matt

Discord is free once again. And he brought back a game he created over a millennium ago, before his imprisonment.

  • ...

2. Twisted Metal Begins

There were only a few minutes left before sunrise. Five vehicles were outside Ponyville, each one with their driver inside.

"Everypony ready?" Twilight asked while adjusting her rearview mirror.

"I was born ready!" Rainbow Dash said, revving the engine.

"How could you have been born ready if you only learned how to drive this a few weeks ago, Dashie?" Pinkie Pie asked, turning on the music of her ice cream truck.

"R-Ready..." Fluttershy whispered.

"Wait a second." Rarity said, looking around. "Where's Applejack?"

Rarity was right; Applejack was nowhere to be found. Suddenly they heard a horn. Looking back, they saw the red truck with a mounted gun above it approaching. Applejack was driving it, waving at her friends. On the back of the farm truck was her older brother, Big Macintosh, and lots of apples.

"Sorry, Ah'm late." she said, stopping her truck beside Fluttershy's Buggy. "We were workin' on the orchard an' completely lost track of time! Didn't even had the time to leave those here home."

"You've been using your car to work on the farm?" Twilight asked. "That's ingenious!"

"Ah know! With this beauty here, we've been pickin' three time more apples. The situation on the farm has never been better!"

"And what is your brother doing here?" Rainbow Dash asked.

"He wouldn't let me participate without him. He's overprotective like that!"

"Eeyup!" he said.

Fluttershy was looking at him without saying anything. The stallion looked down at her at smiled. She only looked away, blushing like mad.

"So, when are we goin' to the tournament?"

"Right now!" said a new voice. Princess Luna had teleported in front of them. Her horn lit up and, after a flash of light, they were gone from Ponyville, reappearing right outside the labyrinth in the Canterlot Gardens. There were a few cars standing in there.

"Welcome, little Elements!" Discord's disembodied voice said. "The timing could've been a little better, but at least you're here. I was just finishing my explanations on how to drive their cars, but since you already have yours, I think you already know how they work. Oh, Princess Luna, you're here as well! Are you going to compete again?"

"There's no need for Us to compete." she said. "They will make sure thou will wish to have never escaped thy sepulcher!"

"We'll see about that."

"There aren't many ponies around here." Fluttershy said, looking around.

"I can recognize a few of them." Rarity said, looking around. "Specially--" she gasped loudly. "SWEETIE BELLE?!"

"With me on the steering wheel, Apple Bloom on the acceleration and Sweetie Belle on the brake, nothing will stop us!" Scootaloo said, sitting with her friends on the orange roof of the yellow car with white doors and hood and trunk.

"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS CAR DRIVERS, YAY!" the three fillies shouted at the same time.

"An' what in tarnation are y'all doin' here?" Applejack asked, approaching their car.

"We're going to participate, o' course!" Apple Bloom explained.

"Over mah dead body!" Applejack said, stomping on the ground with her left forehoof.

"Eeyup!" Big Macintosh agreed, stomping on the ground with his right forehoof.

"Sweetie Belle, you get out of here right now!" Rarity said. "This is no place for little fillies!"

"I'm not a little filly!" Sweetie Belle said. "And I'm gonna show you by winning this Tricked Metal tournament!"

"You are going home right now. All of you!" Rarity started levitating the trio, but suddenly they fell down on the car again. Rarity started screaming.

"Wha-What happened, Rarity?" Applejack asked.

"M-M-My horn. It's gone!"

They all looked at Rarity's forehead; her horn it was indeed gone. Discord's voice chuckled.

"Now wait a second, beautiful Rarity. I have yet to explain the rules! Rule number one: once a contestant joins Twisted Metal, you can't quit until the game is over. And that includes your little sisters!"

"Discord, you monster!" Twilight shouted. "How can you allow little fillies to take part in this horrid tournament?"

"Rule number two: everyone can participate. And I mean everyone! Ponies, Zebras, Griffins, Minotaurs, Diamond Dogs, Chimeras, everyone. The age doesn't matter! Rule number three: one winner can only be decided once all other contestants are incapable of keep competing."

"That's the rule the Princess mentioned." Rainbow Dash said.

"Those are all the rules! Once the sun rises, the arena will be opened and Twisted Metal starts!"

Princess Luna looked at the horizon, where Celestia's sun was rising. Discord laughed as the wall of the labyrinth in front of the cars disappeared.

"Good luck, everypony!" he shouted.

Applejack and Big Macintosh ran back to their truck.

"Ah'll keep an eye on y'all fillies!" Applejack shouted.

"Ok, thanks!" Scootaloo said while the Cutie Mark Crusaders entered their car.

The six driver mares entered their cars and drived into the arena. Once they were all in, the wall reappeared, closing the arena one more time.

"Good luck, my little ponies."

* * *

Both Applejack and Rarity followed the Cutie Mark Crusaders' car, which had "Cutie Mark Crossroader" written on the license plate.

"I won't let anythin' happen to ya, lil' sis!" Applejack said.


"No ruffian shall touch my dear Sweetie Belle!" Rarity said.

They didn't noticed a massive truck approaching them from behind, but Big Mac noticed.

"Uh, Applejack?"

"What is it, Big Mac?"

"Big problem!"

Applejack checked her rearview mirror. Her eyes widened. "Very big. Hey, Rarity!"


"Ya keep an eye on the fillies. Ah'll deal with our lil' friend here!"

"What little fr--" she looked at the mirror and screamed. "Where did that thing came from?! And it's definitely not little!"

"Ah have no idea, but Ah'll deal with it." Applejack braked her truck and turned it around. "Big Mac, do it!"


The red stallion wrapped his forelegs around the handles of the machine gun mounted on top of the truck and aimed at the wheels os the bigger, black truck. He then proceeded to shoot at them while his sister drove the truck backwards. Unfortunately the road was a dirt road and the ride was bumpy, so Big Mac wasn't able to deliver a single bullet to the targets.

"Sorry, Applejack!"

"It's ok, Big Mac. It's only the start!"

"Out of the way, pony!" a voice shouted from within the big truck, through loudspeakers. "Dog wants other pony!"

"That voice." Rarity said. "That annoying, raspy voice!"

The window on the side of the driver was opened, revealing a gray canine wearing a red jacket with colorful gems on the pocket and a spiky black leather collar around his neck.

"Dog will flatten pony and prissy pony car, whiny pony!" he shouted, pointing his finger at the white Mustang. He then closed the window once again and honked the loud horn. The Diamond Dog accelerated, missing Applejack's truck by mere inches, but taking the rearview mirror on the side of the passenger with him.

"Rarity, look out!"

"Watch the girls for me, Applejack, dear!"

Rarity turned right into a smaller road of the labyrinth. The Diamond Dog followed her; even though the road was narrow, the truck could squeeze through it. The fashionista pressed a button behind the steering wheel. The trunk of the car opened, revealing several pipes. One of them started shooting sharp gems at the truck, but aside from a few of them getting stuck on it, they weren't very effective.

"Darn it!"

"Dog will make pony suffer!"

* * *

Together, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash pressed their cars against a stallion's car. He tried accelerating and breaking, but he was trapped by the two mares. When they were extremely close to a sole lamppost, the cars moved away, making the stallion hit it, smashing his car's engine.

"This is actually kind of fun!" Pinkie Pie said while driving side by side with Rainbow Dash. The pegasus mare arched an eyebrow, staring at the chuckling mare.

"Pinkie are... Are you ok?"

"Ok? I'm fantastic!"

"You do realize that ponies die in this tournament, right?"


"And you still think this is fun?!"

"Nopony died yet, Dashie!"

"Well, you're right, but--"

"The past is in the past, Dashie! Let's have fun today. After all, life is a party!"

For some reason, Rainbow Dash cringed at those words, but remained silent. "Just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie... Right?" she thought.

"Lookie-look! Another one right over there." Pinkie Pie turned her ice cream truck. Rainbow Dash sighed and followed her.

"Don't you think you're enjoying this a little bit too much, Pinkie Pie?"

Pinkie Pie slammed her truck against the car at full speed, making it tumble away and land upside down. The mare inside it was still alive, but hurt and confused. "Did you said something, Dashie?"

"Pinkie Pie!" she shouted. "I know we're supposed to win this, but why the hay did you do that for?!"

"She was frowning. So I turned her frowny upside-downy!"

"Pinkie Pie, you are so random, and this is kind of cool, but this time you're being too random, and it's kind of scary..." Pinkie Pie giggled and accelerated her ice cream truck. "Wait, come back here, I wasn't done!" she shouted.

"Will have to catch me fiiiiiirst~!" Pinkie Pie shouted back.

Rainbow Dash pressed a button on the panel and the exhaust of her car began shooting a seven-colored flame. Her speed was doubled and she hit the back of Pinkie's truck, making the pink Earth Pony incapable of controlling her vehicle.

"Dashie, what are you doing?"

Rainbow Dash made Pinkie Pie's truck hit a different lamppost, crushing her engine.

"Sorry, Pinkie Pie, but that was for your own good."

"But now I can't play with everypony else!"

"'Play'? You think this is a game?"

"Discord said it was a game!"

Rainbow Dash groaned before driving away from the area.

* * *

"Stay by my side, Fluttershy." Twilight said while slowly driving her Corvette. "We don't know where the other divers are hiding, so be careful."

"O-Okay..." she whispered, looking left and right while driving her Buggy. "But, Twilight, do you think--"

"Look out!" Twilight shouted, but it was too late and a blue and white car hit Fluttershy's Sand Buggy from behind. She screamed in terror as she was dragged away. "Fluttershy!" Twilight groaned and accelerated, chasing her friend and her friend's captor.

"Oh, Flootershy, fancy meeting you here!" the driver said with a thick Germane accent.

"Ph-Photo Finish?!"

"Ja, zat's me!" she said with a smile. "Sorry for bumping into you like zat. How are you?"


"I'm so very sorry, Flootershy, but our host can give me something zat I absolutely need!"

"A-And what is that?"

"An unicorn horn, of course! Zhink of all ze improvement my art can have if I can actually use ZE MAGICKS!" she said, raising her hoof to add emphasis to the word.

The side of a lavender car hit the side of Photo Finish's car, pushing her away from Fluttershy's.

"Vhat ze...?!"

"You stay away from my friends!" Twilight said, hitting the side of Photo Finish's car once more.

"I'm sorry, fräulein, but I won't let anypony stay between me and vhat I desire!"

Twilight pushed Photo Finish into a smaller road, leaving Fluttershy alone. Too afraid to follow them, Fluttershy did the only thing she could: keep driving. She stopped when she almost got hit by a diamond-encrusted white car. The driver, her friend Rarity, didn't seems to notice her.

She saw another car going toward her. The driver's huge grin made Fluttershy's heart skip a beat. The pony got closer and closer. It was about to hit her when he dodged it, revealing another car right behind his; a cyan one being driven by a pegasus, who screamed when she saw the stopped yellow Buggy on her way. She tried dodging it, but she was too fast and too close. Thankfully she managed to reduce the speed enough for the damage to not be too serious.

"Are you ok, Fluttershy?"

"Y-Yes! Yes I a--"

The Sand Buggy was then hit by a large black truck, seding her and her vehicle flying. Rainbow Dash's eyes widened and her heart stopped for a couple of seconds.


She drove to where the buggy had landed. Its side was smashed and Fluttershy was still inside it, unconscious, but still breathing. Rainbow Dash got out of her car as fast as possible and forced the other door - which was surprisingly still intact - open. She then carrried her friend to her own car, placed her on the passenger seat and fastened the seatbelt.

"Don't worry, Fluttershy, that jerk will not go unpunished!"

* * *

"I told you to brake, Sweetie Belle!" Scootaloo, who was sitting on the driver seat, said, looking down at the fillies on the pedals.

"But Apple Bloom keeps accelerating!" Sweetie Belle said while pressing the brake pedal with both forelegs.

"She told ya to brake, not me to stop!" Apple Bloom replied while pressing the accelerator pedal with both forelegs as well.

"If I need to brake, then you need to stop!"

"Not until Scoots tell me to stop!"

"Just what in tarnation are those three doin'?" Applejack said while looking at the tricolor car that was slowing and accelerating drastically in irregular intervals.

"No idea!" Big Macintosh said.

They heard a loud honk before the black truck from before appeared between Applejack's Bad Apple and the Cutie Mark Crusaders' Cutie Mark Crossroader.

"Where is pony?" the driver asked through a loudspeaker. "Where did pony go?"

"Hey, ugly!" Rainbow Dash angrily said, her car appearing from another road, this one behind Applejack's truck. She stopped beside Bad Apple. "If it's a pony you're looking for, I can fill the part!"

"Pony not whiny pony Discord promised dog. Dog wants whiny pony!"

"Well, too bad. You hurt my friend Fluttershy, and you're going to pay! AND YOU'RE GOING TO PAY NOW!"

Rainbow Dash slammed her hoof on a button on the panel of her car, opening the trunk of her car; there was a missile launcher in it, which was aimed at the truck.

"Pony cannot kill dog. Pony car too weak, dog car too strong!" the Diamond Dog then started maneuvering the truck so he could charge at Bad Apple and Rainboom.

"But I can hurt you pretty bad. Just like you did to my friend here!"

"Rainbow Dash, wait!" Applejack shouted, sounding desperate. "Don't do that!"

"Sorry, Applejack, but justice must be served!"

"Ya don't understand, yer gonna--"

"Get a load of this!" Rainbow Dash shouted, pressing another button. Her car shot a rocket at the truck but, even though she was almost blinded by rage, she couldn't bring herself to kill another living creature, so she aimed the shot at the wheels of the truck. The explosion sent the black truck tumbling backwards.

"What was that sound, Scootaloo?" Sweetie Belle asked.

"Are Rainbow Dash an' that other guy still arguin'?" Apple Bloom asked.

"Girls?" Scootaloo called while looking at the massive vehicle falling toward them.

"Yes, Scoots?" they asked at the same time.

"I love you girls!"

"Why are ya suddenly--" the truck fell on its side and on top of the Cutie Mark Crossroader before Apple Bloom could finish her question.

Applejack's heart stopped for a moment. Big Macintosh fainted. Rainbow Dash's rage faded completely, being replaced by several other different emotions. Her face assumed an expression of despair. After a few moments of silence, she started hyperventilating while tears streamed from her eyes.

"I... I... I killed... No, this... This can't be true! This can't be! No no no no no no no, I'm dreaming. I-I must be dreaming!"

"Rainbow Dash, how could ya?!" Applejack shouted, jumping out of her truck. "Ah warned ya to not do that!" She slowly approached at the fallen truck on top of the Cutie Mark Crusaders' car. "And now mah sister is... She's..." Applejack closed her eyes, fighting back her tears.

"Ap... Ple... Jack..."

She opened her eyes once again.

"A-Apple Bloom? Is that you?"

"He... Help... Me... Us..."

"They're still alive!" she said, her heart being filled with hope. She then started to kick the black truck, trying to move it away. "Rainbow, a lil' help here?"

"I killed them... There's no use denying it... I killed them..."

"Rainbow, help me here!"

"I'm a murderer... A cold-blooded murderer who kills fillies..."

"RAINBOW!" Applejack groaned before she began to kick the truck once again. "Forget it."

* * *

"This tournament has to end!" Twilight said before slamming her car against Photo Finish's. "This is a bloodshed. Nothing comes out of it except pain!"

"Ever since Flootershy broke the contract, my career went downhill. I broke contracts vith several other models because I vanted to dedicate all my time to Flootershy! Mein assistants and employees left me and ze only vay to go back to ze top is doing several zhings at ze same time. I need to be an unicorn! Ze magicks vill save mein career!" she slammed her car against Twilight's. "And just because you're ze Princess's protégé, doesn't mean I vill allow you to crush mein dreams."

Twilight looked at the road again and gasped; there was a cyan on the way with a cyan pegasus in it, neither of them moving. "Photo Finish, look out!" she shouted before moving her own car out of the way.

"Look out vith what?" she looked at the road, but it was too late and she hit the other car with maximum speed. Both cars tumbled away and crashed against one of the walls of the labyrinth.

"Rain... Bow..." Applejack said. Her legs failed her and her and she fell on the ground, losing consciousness just like her brother.

Twilight wanted to brake her car, but she was too afraid to discover that neither of them survived, so she kept driving away from that part of the arena, her face stained with tears.

"Twilight!" Rarity called from behind her. She accelerated her car and caught up with her friend, then began driving side by side with her. "It's so good to see you! I was beginning to lose hope of seeing my friends again, specially after that very shady-looking pony attacked me a while ago! Thankfully I had a little trick up my sleeve."

"And we're down to only two contestants!" Discord's voice said. "Good luck to both of you. I look forward to see who's gonna be the winner! And what she's gonna wish, of course."

"Looks like it's only the two of us." Rarity said.

"I don't want to battle you, Rarity."

"I don't want to battle you either, darling. But don't worry, I'm sure we can figure something out."

Twilight and Rarity were too busy talking to each other to notice that they were going straight to the place where Pinkie Pie defeated one of the contestants. The mare was long gone, but the car was still in place. Rarity noticed the obstacle on the corner of the vision in the last second.

"Darling, look out!" she said, turning the steering wheel and slamming her car against Twilight's, throwing her out of the collision course, but sacrificing her own car in the process.

"RARITY!" Twilight shouted as she watched Rare Gem tumble and crash through a wall.

* * *

Twilight reappeared in a dark, empty room. The only thing in there was a throne being illuminated from above by a single hanging lamp. Sitting on the throne was some kind of chimera with the head of a pony and the body of several other creatures.

"You're... Discord?"

"Guilty as charged!"

"You monster!" she shouted. "Thanks to you, my friends are hurt, and maybe even dead! You ruined everypony's lives!"

"Oh, little Twilight Sparkle, why don't you look at the bright side?"

"There's no bright side!"

"Oh, there's one: it was super fun!"


"I never said it was fun for you."

"This is all your fault!"

"I disagree with you. You know who you're supposed to blame? Your ruler, Princess Celestia!"

"What does she have to do with this?"

"Oh, Twilight, you really can't see? Remember how she sent you and your little friends to my domains instead of doing it herself?"

"Because we're the Elements of Harmony! She is no longer connected to them, we are. We're the only ones who can stop you!"

"That may be true, but remember how she is the almighty ruler of Equestria, who can do basically anything? She could have easily brought you to where we are, but instead she let you agree to my terms! Even I as surprised. I mean, Celestia herself nodding to my request? One chance in a trillion!"

"I... She..."

"Do you realize now?" Discord said, pressing an index finger against her horn. Her coat slowly started turning gray. "She is not fit to be a ruler. And neither is her sister! What Equestria needs is a new ruler, one who knows how to treat her subjects correctly, one who isn't a senile granny and bound to the old ways of Equestria! Are you getting the picture, Twilight Sparkle?"

She slowly nodded after he moved his finger away, her coat turning completely gray.

"Hear me, Discord, for I have a wish!"

"And I'd love to hear it."

"Discord, Mad God and creator of Twisted Metal. Make me, Twilight Sparkle... A Princess!"

Discord grinned evilly.

"Your wish is granted! I am Discord, and I thank you for playing Twisted Metal."

Author's Note:

Wow, I loved writing this one! Can't wait for the next. And remember, in this fanfic, I don't do things for no reason (during most of the time). Trust the Phoenix Writer, things will get awesome!

And remember, kids: no talking when driving!

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