• Published 22nd May 2014
  • 1,230 Views, 56 Comments

Twisted Metal: Equestria - Lab Matt

Discord is free once again. And he brought back a game he created over a millennium ago, before his imprisonment.

  • ...

1. Prologue

"Looks like the pony sisters were victorious this time. What are the odds?"

"Quit stalling, Discord."

"We won fair and square, now grant us our wish."

"Alright, alright. After all, I'm a Daconequus who keeps his promises. Now tell me, what do you seek, Princesses?"

"The Elements of Harmony."

"Give them to us, now!"

"Here they are. Now have fun with your colorful rocks. I am Discord, and I thank y--"

"Not so fast, Discord."

"IIIIIIIIIII aaaaaaaam Diiiiiiiiiiiscooooooord, aaaaaaaand--"

"That's not what I meant and you know it!"

"Do you want to know why we wanted you to give us the Elements?"

"Ok, you got me. Why?"


"So, that's it? You're going to make them glow until I'm bored? It's funny, actually! Really, really funny! HAHAHAHAH--"

* * *

One thousand years later...

* * *

"Twists and turns are my master plan. A wish I will grant if winning the tournament you can." Discord said before his image on the stained glass in the Canterlot Tower became still once again.

"Can we go home now?" the shy yellow pegasus, Fluttershy, asked.

"What do ya reckon he meant?" the orange earth pony, Applejack, asked too. "Twists and turns and winning a tournament?"

"This can't be..." Celestia said. "This can't happen again!"

"What can't happen again, Princess Celestia?" the lavender unicorn, Twilight Sparkle, asked her mentor.

"You need to stop Discord before his tournment starts! We can't let that bloodshed happen again."

"Bloodshed?!" they all shouted at the same time before Fluttershy fainted.

Celestia nodded. "One thousand years ago, Discord was the ruler of Equestria before Luna and I. And he had this... Contest every month! A contest where ponies had to use strange machines to hurt each other. And sometimes even kill!"

"And why isn't this in any of the history books I read?" Twilight asked. "In fact, I never read anything about Discord either!"

Celestia closed her eyes and sighed. "That was a point in history that I wanted erased. Forever!"

"And what are we doing standing here?" Rainbow Dash asked. "We have a villain to stop and a tournament to prevent from happening!"

"Rainbow Dash is right." Twilight said.

"Good luck, my little ponies." Celestia said before touching both of Twilight's shoulders with her horn. "The fate of Equestria is in your hooves."

"Thanks, Princess. We won't let you down."

With Applejack carrying the unconscious Fluttershy on her back, the six mares exited Canterlot Tower. Princess Celestia heard the laughter of Discord echoing through the room.

* * *

The six mares - Fluttershy now awake again - were standing outside the palace labyrinth, looking at the entrance. The labyrinth looked much bigger and taller than before.

"W-We have to go in there?" Fluttershy asked.

"I agree with Fluttershy, this place looks... Shady! Not to say dirty." Rarity said, straightening her mane.

"Several ponies saw strange lights and heard noises coming from here. It's the only place I can think where Discord can be!" Twilight said, levitating a luxurious box in front of her. She opened it, revealing five necklaces and a crown. She levitated each Element and gave them to their respective wielder. "We'd best keep our elements on at all times until further notice."

"Check!" the five mares said at the same time.

"Never fear, girls. We have each other!"

Yeah!" Rainbow Dash agreed. "Like Twilight said, there's nothing we can't overcome if we all stick together!"

"All right, girls, let's do this!"

"Together!" they all shouted at the same time while taking their first step into the labyrinth. Suddenly they were all thrown back as a wall blocked the entrance. As they got up, they heard Discord's laughter coming from within the labyrinth.

"Really?" his disembodied voice asked. "Did you really thought it was going to be that easy? Just walk in and turn me back into stone?"

"Well... Actually, we thought!" Pinkie Pie said with a smile.

"Then let's make it a game. You can come in and go Cockatrice on me all you want, but first..."

"But first...?" Twilight asked.

"First you need to win my tournament!"

"What?!" they all shouted at the same time.

"Bu-Bu-But that's exactly what we're here for!" Applejack said. "To prevent ya from startin' that dreadful tournament again!"

"Well, too bad. You either win the tournament or I'm free forever. Your choice, little ponies!"

"That ruffian..." Rarity said, pawing the ground with her hoof.

"Darn it!" Rainbow Dash said, stomping on the ground with both forehooves. "If only I could fly in there and finish him on my own..."

"Oh, please, do try, Rainbow Dash!" he said.

"Don't do it, Rainbow Dash!" Twilight said. "He must be planning something."

"Won't you even give me the benefit of the doubt, Twilight Sparkle?"


"Oh, well... But still, if you want to get me, you have to join Twisted Metal!"

"'Twisted Metal'?" they all asked at the same time.

"My tournament, duh! Seriously, I would have expected Celestia to at least say the name of my masterpiece. Anyway, I'll see you... In Twisted Metal!"

He started to laugh, his voice slowly fading until it disappeared.

"What now, Twilight?" Applejack asked.

"Only one thing left to do..."

* * *

"What is so important that thou had to interrupt Our slumber, Sister?" Luna said with a yawn.

"This is more than important, Sister." Celestia said. "Discord is back, and you know what that means!"

Luna's eyes widened, her sleepiness completely disappearing. "Nay! That dreadful contest cannot return!"

"I'm afraid it's already happening. Specially after that riddle..."


"'Twists and turns are my master plan. A wish I will grant if winning the tournament you can'."

"This does not sound pleasant. And what makes the matter worst is the fact that we are no longer connected to the Elements of Harmony!"

"Don't worry, my Sister. The new wielders of the Elements..." Celestia magically opened the door of the Throne Room, where the six mares were patiently waiting. "...are right here!" she approached her student and her friends. "Thank you all for waiting. Luna, if you please?"

"Sister, thou cannot be suggesting that--"

"According to them, Discord won't allow anypony to approach him unless they're contestants in the tournament. It's the only way!"

"What the hay do y'all think they're talkin' about?" Applejack whispered to her friends.

Princess Luna sighed. "We understand, Sister..."

Together, the Princesses levitated the massive throne, revealing a trap door hidden underneath it.

"What... What's down there, Princess?" her faithful student asked.

"Things that I hoped to never have to see again..."

"Follow us, Twilight Sparkle and company." Luna said, opening the trap door with her magic, revealing a stairway. "This is important!"

The eight mares went down the stairs. It got darker and darker as they went further down. Celestia and Luna lit up their horns at the same time, revealing several large objects, all covered by equally large blankets.

"What... What are those?" Fluttershy asked.

"These are the vehicles Discord... 'Created' for his tournament!"

"Which is highly unlikely, since Discord isn't bright enough to craft such exotic and complex machines!"

"What are those 'machines' yer talkin' about, Princess?"

Celestia and Luna nodded at each other and levitated the blankets away, revealing several weird-shaped metal boxes. They were empty on the inside and had wheels underneath them. Most of them had weapons above, below, in front, behind or on their sides.

"Ohhhh, they look so cool!" Pinkie Pie said, inspecting them closely. "What are those? What are they used for? How do they work? What are their names?" Pinkie Pie pressed a button on one of them.

"Pinkie Pie, wai--" Celestia tried to stop her but was too late; the weapon shot bullets at the car in front of it, opening several holes on its side. All the six mares were speechless.


"A-Anyway, Discord call them 'cars'. They are machines that, as long as they have a pilot inside controlling it, can... Move on their own, in a manner of speaking!"


"They're so... Unfabulous!" Rarity said. "Maybe with some paint, a garnish here, an ornament there..."

"Not everythin' is about beauty, Rarity!" Applejack said. "We need to know if they're durable, strong an' stuff!"

"Applejack is right, Rarity. According to what Princess Celestia explained, they're supposed to be used as weapons or something like that. Remember what she said, it was a tournament where ponies had to hurt to win!" Twilight explained.

"Does... Does that mean we'll have to hurt each other?" Fluttershy asked, cowering.

Celestia smiled. "Not exactly! There are two other alternatives. First, you can go in there together. There are no rules against forming teams!"

"We do not recommend that!" Luna said, interrupting her sister. "If you form teams, it will mean less vehicles participating and less vehicles mean less chances of winning! While you six have the best intentions, the prize is very attractive and can bring every kinds of ponies."

"'A wish I will grant if winning the tournament you can'." Twilight quoted. "Wait, does that mean the prize is an actual wish? Discord can do that?"

"Discord is a fiend capable of doing the unimaginable!" the Night Princess explained.

"And what's behind door number two, Princess?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Celestia smiled again. "The second alternative is actually a flaw in the rules."

"Rules? Seriously?" Applejack asked skeptically. "Pardon me, Princess, but that Discord feller really doesn't sound like the kind of... Thing that would go by the rules!"

"Discord is a trickster." Luna explained. "He likes to have fun at others' expenses, so even he has to establish rules to his game in order to have the best fun possible. Even if his concept of 'fun' is selfish and cruel!"

"And what is this flaw?" Twilight asked.

"One of the rules is 'one winner can only be decided once all other contestants are incapable of keep competing'. It doesn't say you have to hurt or kill others! In fact, it was using that strategy that we managed to win Twisted Metal one thousand years ago!"

"You were contestants too?" Rarity asked, surprised, just like the other five.

"We had to!" Luna said.

"My sister is right. We read about the Elements of Harmony and its seeming limitless power, but we had absolutely no clue to where they were or what they looked like. Together, we created our own car by studying the wreckage of the discarded cars that used to belong to... Unfortunate ex-contestants!"

"And after you won, you wished for him to give you the Elements, right?"

"Exactly, Rainbow Dash! But now that he is free again and we are no longer connected to the Elements of Harmony, so I have to ask the six of you to do that. I'm sorry about that!"

"Don't be, Princess." Applejack said. "We're the wielders of the Elements of Harmony, it's our job to protect Equestria and its citizens!"

"Thank you for understanding."

"Now please, choose one of the cars." Luna ordered. "The one that suits thee better. Thou need to know how to handle thy vehicle well in order to have a chance in Twisted Metal! The contestants can be quite cruel. Specially the... 'special ones'!"

"'Special ones'?" the six mares asked at the same time.

"Sometimes Discord tends to... Brainwash, for lack of better word, certain competitors when it was convenient to him. To make the game more 'interesting'!"

"I usually try to love and tolerate my foes, but Discord just makes it impossible..." Twilight said before moving toward the cars. "Anyway, how does these work?"

"Technology. Very advanced technology." the Sun Princess explained before lifting the hood of the car, revealing its engine. "Actually, as much as I hate to admit it, Discord unconsciously helped Equestria's technological advance with these!"

"Impressive... Does is still work? After one thousand years?"

"Probably not! But my sister and I have a great knowledge regarding those, after studying the parts and assembling and disassembling them over and over. Once you choose yours, we will do whatever we can to help make them run again!" Celestia looked at Luna, who nodded.

"Thank you very much, Princesses!"

It didn't took long for the six mares to decide which vehicles they wanted: Twilight chose a Corvette, Rainbow Dash chose a Lamborghini, Applejack chose a farm truck, Rarity chose a Mustang, Fluttershy chose a Buggy and Pinkie Pie chose an ice cream truck.

Together, the Princesses worked for the rest of the day and the whole night to make all the six cars work once again. The next morning, the six friends were taught by the Princesses how to drive the vehicles and handle their weapons. After the classes were over, the cars were given to the wilders of the Elements of Harmony so they could customize them to their liking, which was Rarity's idea.

Twilight's car was painted purple with a violet and a purple streaks on the side, with her Cutie Mark painted on the hood. She named it "Friendship Report".

Rainbow Dash's car was painted cyan with her Cutie Mark painted on the doors and, with Twilight's help, she enchanted the fuel of the car to make the smoke come out of the exhaust in seven colors. She named it "Rainboom".

Applejack's truck was simply painted red. She named it "Bad Apple".

Rarity's car was painted white and her Cutie Mark was painted on the hood. She also encrusted several diamonds all over the car. She named it "Rare Gem".

Fluttershy's Buggy was painted yellow with pink details, with several animal-shaped garnishes hanging from it. She named it "Mother Nature".

And Pinkie Pie's truck was painted bright pink. There were cupcakes, candies and balloons painted all over it. There was also a giant Pinkie Pie head above it, looking like a jack-in-the-box. She named it "Sweet Tooth".

"You're all ready." Celestia said. "You have the vehicles and know the basics of how to handle them. I want you to practice your driving skills whenever you can until the day of the tournament!"

"Do ya know when is it going to be, Princess?" Applejack asked.

"Discord has been spreading those flyers all around Equestria since he broke free." she then levitated a paper in front of the six mares.

I am Discord, and I invite you to play Twisted Metal.
The prize is anything you may want, even if it is impossible.
All you have to do is join my tournament, where you have to fight for it.
The weapon shall be provided by myself, as well as the instructions of how to use it.
Are you going to pass the opportunity?
See you at the entrance of the labyrinth in Canterlot Gardens,
at sunrise of the first day of next month.
Don't drop the ball, or it might get kicked away!

"I only hope nopony takes this seriously..." Fluttershy said.

"We never know, Fluttershy!" Twilight said. "There might be a desperate pony naïve enough out there to accept his invitation."

"I-I see..."

"I'm going to teleport you and your cars to Ponyville." Celestia explained. "When the time of the tournament comes, I will bring you all back to the labyrinth."

"Okie-dokie-lokie!" Pinkie Pie said before jumping into her ice cream truck.

The other five mares nodded and got into their vehicles as well.

Princess Celestia closed her eyes and, after a flash of light, the mares and their cars were gone from the throne room. She sighed. "I only hope Twisted Metal does not affect their friendship and drive them apart, like it did to many others..."

Author's Note:

I wanted to write this for sooooo long! The cover picture was standing around on my external HD, just waiting for this day. And now it's finally real! I can't wait to work on the Twisted Metal tournament. And what do you think of Discord starring as Calypso? Great choice or lame choice? And sorry if they're not similar, specially when it comes to wish-granting. Anyway, let me know, leave your opinion in the comments below. Feedback makes me smile and makes me eager to continue!
See you in the next chapter, readers!

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