• Published 21st May 2014
  • 518 Views, 9 Comments

human pub of equestria - wolfman93



a special pub built in between demensions revolving around equestria and has became the best place for all humans who came to equestria. follow through as several humans from different worlds tell their stories on their life in equestria.

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chapter 1: raymond's story

Raymond stared at Lachlan dared him to explain how his life is supposed to be harder than his. Raymond never refrain with violence however a good smack on this royal asshole could be in order if he continues to be a smartass. Downing another drink into his system the alcohol started to take its effect and already he could feel a small buzz. He rarely drinks since it only brings memories when he stares at the bottle. Bad memories.

Sighing he turns Lachlan. “So question Lachlan how was life before you went to equestria?” he said

Lachlan tilts his head in confusion since he wonder on why he would ask the question before starting his story. Drinking another shot of vodka he sighed as it went down to his liver. “I don’t remember much but I could say life on earth was okay. I can’t remember much on what happen since I stayed in equestria for long I sort of forgot all about earth” he let out a chuckle.

He chuckled a bit but stopped to see Raymond not laughing back or hell even smiling back. “Hey you alright?” Lachlan asks worried.

Raymond kept his mouth shut as Lachlan looked at him with worried eyes. “Huh….. I wish I was you then” he said tilting his head down his eyes disappear from behind his hair.

Lachlan raised an eyebrow as Raymond covered his eyes with his hair. He usually thought that was an anime thing since it’s hard to covered eyes with hair. However Raymond hair is long enough that it could cover both with ease. Several minutes pass before Lachlan broke the silence. “What do you mean by that?” he said confused.

“Because he was abused before coming to equestria” the bar pony interrupt as he continue to reshelf his stock. He then brought two freshly of alcohol and set them next to Lachlan and Raymond. Lachlan stared at the bottle and at the bar pony at what he just said about Raymond. “Since childhood his parents were alcoholics and every day they would hurt him along with others throughout his years before finally leaving to college”

Abuse. A word he could never tolerate even when his marefriends were doing to him before things soon turned a good point and his life great. Occasionally he still fight’s with his marefriends but he still loved them as much as they love him. Lachlan turns his head to Raymond in disbelief. Never could he imagine living with a family that spends more time with a bottle then with him.

Raymond sighed in sadness as the memories of his life before coming to equestria came through like a river. He remembers the same routine that happens every day when he was growing. He sighed one last time before telling his story before coming to equestria and the same routine he went through since childhood.

He was 8 years old when his mother would come home from work at a fast food restaurant; in one hand she had her keys and the other a bottle of tequila in the other. Raymond being of age never smiled with his family came home and mostly do is read, write or do some extra credit homework. His mother would usually come up to him and asking him if he still got his lunch money for this week. Sighing as always he gives his money to her which she leaves to grab some fast food and sometimes another bottle of tequila… again. His father worked at a garage which was a good payed job unless you ignore the drinking while on the job. When he would finish he would come home same as usual and ask Raymond for money. He would say he doesn’t have any and which lead to being smacked and then patted down for some extra cash. He had tried to help his mother and father to stop drinking however it wasn’t the case. School too became unbearable since him being of a weaker stage due to lack of food and hygiene he was constantly bullied and beaten up which no one stood up for him. Days became years which one day at school he finally snapped and almost killed someone due to the long years of abuse. After months of therapy he soon got back on his feet and continue to work his hardest though his high school years.

At age 18 he got a good job working at clothes store where actually was quite popular with the street and business looks. The store had its way of selling both street looks for men and women as well as suits which the owner makes them behind his shop. Since working there and putting his hardest into the work he always came home with a nice bundle of cash for food which he stores them far away from his family. Fearing it being stolen he made a special safe that he kept his money in before coming home. Sometimes he takes a few ones in case and buys the food for his family which sadly they were passed out. Setting the food down and carefully walking over the empty bottles he goes through the mail and opens one that was address to him.

Smiling at it because it was from the one the universities he sent an application too. Reading through the letter he smiled and cried tears of joy as the letter gave him a new sign of hope. He had gotten accepted.

Lachlan stared at him in shock as to Raymond surviving something like that throughout his 18 years. Curiosity got the better of him and he wonder on what next. “So what happen then? I mean how you got to equestria” he asked.

Raymond slumped using one hand to support his head and looked at Lachlan with a confused look. “That’s the thing I don’t know.

After going to college I spent my life exercising and studying medicine before coming to equestria. And to tell you the truth when they first saw me wasn’t a good entrance.” Raymond took another shot of whiskey and places the empty bottle to the side.

Lachlan chuckled at the last comment since he remembers his wasn’t as good either. “So let me guess. Twilight and her friends either rape you or….. Tried to beat you up”

Raymond circled his finger and smirk. “Ding ding ding. You got the second right. Wait rape?” Raymond said confused but shock to hear that word.

Lachlan chuckles. “Yeah that was what happens to me on my arrival. Wasn’t something I was prepare for especially at the end when my rapist became my lover”

By the time Raymond was taking another shot before spitting out in shock when Lachlan’s rapist became his lover in the end.

Coughing and wiping the alcohol off his face turn to face Lachlan who had a smirk on his face. “WHAT! WHO RAPED YOU!?” Raymond shouted.

Lachlan wonder if Raymond was a member of royalty, reason is his shouted sounded loud like Luna’s royal canterlot voice. Rubbing his ringing ear one his pinky he turn to Raymond who gave an apologetic salute.

“Sorry” Raymond said embarrassed. He knew he was loud however that’s due to the many times pinkie pie goes overboard, rainbow dash in the sky and a few times when Luna damages his hearing a bit.

Lachlan sighed but smiled. “Yeah I did. It’s was my first thing I did when I first came to equestria.”

“Who raped you?” Raymond said curiously.

“The same mare who is also my lover and leader of the others. Nightmare moon” Lachlan took another shot of vodka into his system as he finished.

“Nightmare…. Moon?” Raymond said taking another shot of whiskey. He heard stories of nightmare moon from the stories in twilight’s library. The books say she was an evil mare who tried to destroy the world and engulf it into everlasting darkness before Celestia banish her using the elements of harmony. Thus the name ‘the mare on the moon’ tales came from however that’s all he knows. Some secrets weren’t told to him…. yet.

Lachlan looked at Raymond’s confused looked and smiled. Apparently this human hasn’t dealt with nightmare moon yet and maybe it’s best to keep it a secret on who she really was. ‘Paybacks going to be a bitch for this guy’ he said looking at Raymond.

“I take it you don’t know much on nightmare moon huh.” he said getting a nod from Raymond. Filling his glass he let out a hearty chuckle. “All I can give you is this then. Keep on your toes. She can be a real handful and dangerous when it comes to sex” Lachlan took the shot and drank it.

Clearing his throat Raymond twirled his drink as both sat in silence for a few moments. “So how about you? How was first day in equestria like?” Lachlan said ending the silence.

Raymond let out a small laugh as the memories of his first day of coming to equestria; he then let out a small sigh before speaking. “Well my first day I didn’t got raped however I still got a beat down instead.”

Taking the shot he begins to tell his story. His arrival and first day of coming to equestria.

--- --- ---

It was a Friday night in San Francisco. He was working at San Francisco memorial hospital where he and a few other coworkers were all getting ready to turn off the lights and close down for the night. Exiting the front building of the memorial building he waved out to the last of his coworkers Raymond walked towards home. Since home a small apartment complex it was actually close only about 20 minute walks from there. His home didn’t have much around except a small bed with a few clothes, a laptop and some kitchen electronics. It may have been small and less stuff however when it comes to Raymond it was living in heaven. The house smelled better and he could actually see the floor for the first time. The landlord gave a good deal for him and he been living there ever since he got his first job.

Walking home he took out a small ipod he still has when he first came to equestria and begins to play it as he walked home. Throwing out his fears of being mugged he put his earbuds and turn on his ipod. Selecting a song he decides to randomize it instead. Hitting play he begins to hear this song as he walked.

Swaying to the music he continued to walk and dance a bit as he walked home. Most of the streets were empty and barely anybody would come out for whatever reason. Fearing of gang related work or some type of mafia hit going to happen most people prefer to stay in their house at night which made the streets have an eerie look.

--- --- ---

“Now that I look at it the streets were just like how I first came here.” Raymond said stopping his story and pondering on when he came to the bar. The scenery of when he walked through did look like his home town except it didn’t rain when you left.

Lachlan was too busy laughing at when you told him the song you were listening. Been a while since he heard some human music before but he knew a few songs by this trench guy. “Really Mariana’s Trench” he laughed a bit.

Raymond let out a pout as Lachlan finally stopped laughing. He always loves songs and a few times he sang before but he never like to be made fun of when it comes to music. “Hey don’t make fun of my music. But don’t you think it’s weird to come to a bar that looks like San Francisco.

Lachlan turns his head and raised an eyebrow. “The hell you talking about? The bar looked like any normal bar in canterlot when I first came here.” He said surprise. It was true when discord teleported him in front of the bar he didn’t know what to do except go inside and have a drink instead.

The bar pony grabbed the second empty bottles and set brand new ones beside them. “Remember this bar is different not only inside but outside too. It transform into the first thing that comes to mind when you walk towards the bar. This place may look like anything from outside. A battle tent, a small hut in the everfree forest or heck a small cave too.” the bar pony grabs the rag on his belt and begins wiping the counter down. “It all depends on how you view it. The inside stays the same though. The beauty of dimensions.”

Both men stared in confusion at what the bar pony is saying more mystery on this bar that makes their heads want to explode. They want to know more but trying to understand the bar would be like trying to understand pinkie pie and they both know how that’ll end. No conclusion on either end.

Shaking the craziness since he knows it’s a time to relax Lachlan taps Raymond’s shoulder for him to continue. Raymond too shook the crazy out and drank another shot before continuing.

“Where was I? Oh yes I remember. I was walking down the side walk on the side where I lived before I stopped.”

--- --- ---

Raymond was getting in the mood as he listens to his music while walking home. He looked around to see he was on Gravel Street which was on the other end. Pulling his ear plugs out and looking both ways he crossed through. He speed run so he could get home quickly but stopped. He was almost home but somehow something made him stopped. His body froze stiff; his breath grew cold to the point of seeing it. Lifting his right arm he looked down at his watch that his friend bought him. The hands inside looked like they were freezing and a thick cloud of frost built from both inside and outside his watch. A cold chill made him get goosebumps as they felt like someone or something was breathing behind you.

Closing his eyes he slowly turns his head around. His breaths were raspy and his heart felt like it wanted to burst if fear. Taking several quick breaths he looks back to see…. Nothing. He kept having short breaths before he started to calm down a bit. Finally relax he sighs before looking back. Whatever was behind him was now in front of him.

Raymond grew wide eyed as a thick puff of purple smoke with two red eyes was staring at him. Stumbling back he fell back but continued to scoot back away from whatever was in front of him. Gulping in fear he stared in fear as the strange entity slowly drew close to him. Not think twice on what to do he did the most logical on. Raymond quickly got up and ran back as fast as he could. Racing through the streets like he was on a marathon he quickly race through several back alleys and through several empty streets. Hoping over several fences and doing several wall runs he kept running till he was out of breath.

He panted as he ran for a good several minutes before stopping at a regular house with a basement stares. Raymond didn’t know if the thing kept chasing him although he was too scared to look back as he ran. Looking back behind and all around he sighed in relief as he managed to get away. Or so he thought. Looking around once more he then started to head back. The moment he let his guard down his body took a major hit. Like a car hitting his side he felt amount of pressure hitting his left hip. The force pushed him back so hard the car next to him sounded as Raymond’s body left a major dent and two broken windows. Stumbling from the intense blow he then felt another one hitting on the left side of his face. The sheer force was the same on his side. Flying a good distance he fell down into the basement floor. The moment his head connected with the concrete below was the last thing he remember.

*several hours later*

Raymond finally woke up from the intense blows his body suffered. He looks up to and was puzzled at the sight. He thought he would be in the hospital or still be outside since he still remembers clearly on what happen although instead he was staring up into the bright beautiful sky. Several clouds flew by as he stared.

Lifting himself off the ground he scanned his surrounds. Instead of seeing a small room with medical equipment, a screen and of course other medical staff Raymond saw he was laying on the ground in a nice peaceful meadow. Getting up off the ground he continued to stare at his surroundings completely confused and still a bit daze from the head injury. Looking around he could see a small pond which was connected to a river up north from him, a large flower field over to the west and a large forest in the west.
Turning his head around he look over to see a small town just a few miles from him.

“Well I guess I should get some help there” he said and started towards the town. He walked a good few peaceful minutes but it was short lived.

“LOOK OUT BELOW!” a tomboyish voice shouted from behind him.

Turning his head behind he couldn’t see whoever impacted on his back. Like the weight of a full speed car something impacted onto his lower back which any longer he could feel it break into pieces. The object carried him a few feet away from where he stopped leaving only a dust trail as it finally stopped.

Groaning in pain from the sudden impact he felt a sudden move as whatever was on his back finally got up.

“ow that hurt a lot. Felt like I hit a tree” the same tomboyish voice said as whoever sat on his back.

“Yeah I can agree on that” Raymond said groaning as the sudden weight made it even harder to handle on his lower back. Thank god he could still feel his legs after an impact like that.

Whatever or whoever was on him finally got the sense to get off and step back as Raymond lay on the ground for a few seconds before getting back up. cracking his neck he groan a bit as the pain still lingered on his back however he brush it off.

“Eh heh heh heh uh excuse me” the same voice said in an embarrassing tone.

Growling a bit he felt a bit annoyed as whoever thought it was a joke to hit him and almost broke his back in the end. “Listen you if you think it’s a joke on running someone over then yo-“he turn around only to stare jaw drop at the sight. There standing instead of a human was a large anthro like pony.

If she was standing she would be standing on her hind legs were like that of a pony, her head was pony shape and had two large magenta eyes. Her fur was a light bluish color with surprisingly a rainbow color mane and tail. She wore what appears to be a regular jersey sweat jacket and tight body shirt that cling against her stomach tight, and a pair of jogging pants. You don’t need know on what she was wearing on her hooves but you can guess sneakers since she gave you and close up of her shoe. Your face felt force as she made you flue for a few feet off where stood.

Letting out a groan as the kick felt like getting hit with a baseball bat Raymond staggers up only to being pulled up to his feet and stare into those magenta eyes again. She stared down at the unknown species as she kept it close to her face with much anger in her as ever. “WHO ARE YOU?! ARE YOU A SPY An ALIEN!? ARE YOU HERE TO TAKE OVER EQUESTRIA FOR YOURSELF!? NOT ON MY WATCH!?” she raises her fist up and aims at your head.

Seeing the fist coming up towards his head Raymond manages to dodge it just barely. “YOU SHOULDN’T TALK YOU PONY FREAK!” he said bringing his up and directly hitting her stomach.

The rainbow pony gasp at the sudden and backed away from the sudden punch. She panted as the wind was knocked out of her but quickly regain her breathing. Her head slumped down as her hair covered her eyes. Raymond got into stance as he fears the worse the longer he watches her stare at the ground. Her fists clutched together in a fit of rage as she continued to stare downward.

Quickly without warning Raymond flinches back in shock as she whipped her head up staring at him with hatred and fire in her eyes, her teeth clutched so tight it might cracked the longer she holds it. Her fists squeezed so hard her hands spilled a few drops of blood.

“YOU’RE SO DEAD BUCKER!” she screamed before charging at supersonic speed.

Raymond watched as she race towards him fist pointing towards his face. the only words he could must were these. “Oh f!@k me” he said before his face collided with the ponies fist.
--- --- ---

Raymond growled a bit as he took another shot of whiskey, this time he got it straight from the bottle. His brow twitched as the sound of laughter from both Lachlan and the bartender echoed the whole room. “Yeah yeah get it out of your systems” he said spinning his wrist around a few times.

“Assholes” he mutters in his breath.

The laughing continues for a good solid 5 minutes before Lachlan finally calmed down. Whipping a tear out of his eye he let lout a collective sigh and smile. The bartender finally stopped laughing and continued washing his glasses. After a few seconds of silence Lachlan finally broke it.

“So I can only guess that she kicked your ass” he chuckled a bit at Raymond’s predicament. Normally he never picks a fight with her unless it’s a sparring match or just for fun. The first few months before he gain his powers he never messed with her as much let alone get into a full on fist fight with rainbow dash. Then again Raymond explains that the girls in his world aren’t giants like the ones in his world well with the exception of celestia who still retains her god like structure. Guess that could be a reason why he never wanted to fight with them due to him being a shrimp in a giant pony world.

Raymond took another drink before he answer. “Somewhat. We spent the last few hours comparing each other’s strength and toughness by inflicting blow after blow on each other. A few cheap shots too if I may add.” He said as the memories of the fight came back as well as the pain he felt with each blow.

--- --- ---

After taking the blow Raymond stumble back a bit but regain his stance to receive another blow to the head. Stumbling back once more he shook it off able to see a third coming right for his face again. Dodging as quickly as possible he came up and delivered an uppercut and swift punch to her jaw.

“ahhh” she screamed before grabbing Raymond’s arm and delivered a swift kick to the face. “BASTARD” she screamed as she kicked.

For several minutes both Raymond and the rainbow pony continued to exchange blows to each other. Several shots Raymond managed to take but because of her speed Raymond had to defend himself as several punches and kicks were dashed out to his body. He still managed to deliver several blows to the rainbow fighter leaving several bruises and welts on her body even managing to dish out a few blows to her face.

Taking in a few more blows she gave another kick in the face, showing an opportunity. Reaching out with his right he grabbed her leg before she could retract and shot her forward towards him. She couldn’t react fast enough as Raymond rushed up and delivered a heavy head butt against her snout.

Both back away from each other as the head butt caused excruciating pain in their faces. Raymond took several steps away from his opponent, his hands clutched his head as it bleed profoundly from the head butt. Some of the blood belongs to her while most of it came from a small cut she made with her teeth. Her mouth was open enough for her to take a small bit off his forehead.

The rainbow pony took a few steps back as well; her hands covered her bleeding snout as a few droplets fell to the ground. Never in her life has she ever been hit in the snout enough to make her bleed so much heck it even felt broken. The pain from the head butt felt like she was smacking against concrete. Trying to control the bleeding from her broken snout she stared glaring at the alien.

Raymond open one of his good eyes and stared glaring at the pony alien.

‘That bastard/bitch is going to pay’ the both said in their heads as they got up and wiped the blood off their faces. The both panted in exhaustion as more blood slide down their bleeding faces both not taking their eyes off of each other. They continued their stare down before letting out a loud angry shout and racing towards each other.

Racing towards one another both Raymond and the pony then did and round house kick at the same time. Since both were doing a roundhouse kick at the same time both were trying to aim at the head however their kicks ended up lower. Once their kicks connected both fighters finally stopped.

They held the positions not daring to move as the force sent waves of pain throughout their bodies. Their bodies tremble in pain as both of their faces turn a sickly purplish color. Raymond started to breath panic breaths as pain erupted all over his body his stomach contents felt like coming up which he tried to hold it all in, the rainbow pony looked to be near tears as she held the urge let even a single tear fall.

They both look at where they kicked their opponents. Both the rainbow and Raymond had tried to hit their heads but ended up hitting their softest part of the body. Raymond’s foot hit right dead center on her pony breast while she was grinding her hoof against his sacs.

Raymond and the pony held their kicks for a few more seconds before letting out a loud scream in pain and doubled it onto the floor. Both let out a loud groan as they covered their sensitive parts with both hands.
--- --- ---

Lachlan shudders at the thought of getting kicked by rainbow dash in the sensitive part. He mostly tries to protect his parts but just the thought of getting hit there sends waves of goosebumps all over. “That must have really hurt” he said a lump in his throat formed in his throat as he spoke. He swallows the lump and sighed before drinking another shot of vodka to help settle his nerves.

Raymond cleared his throat as the memory of the fight was still fresh even since it was a year ago he could still feel the pain from the kick. His whole body managed to toughen up but that kick was a driven blow to him. “Yeah it did. However it didn’t stop there”
Lachlan raised an eyebrow at Raymond after he said ‘didn’t stop there’. “Wait even though you probably almost turn each other into different genders you both still went at each other?” He said in disbelief.

Raymond bites his lip for a bit before nodding and answering his question. “Pretty much yeah we did. And here’s the f@#k up part after all the beating”

--- ---- ----

After recovering from their sensitive blows Raymond and the rainbow pony managed to get back to their stances and continued fighting. Taking several more blows they managed to deliver one more blow to the face. They held their punches on their cheeks before they slide off and fell forward groaning in pain. Raymond was first to fall to the ground on his back before the rainbow pony falls flat on his stomach. They both panted in exhaustion as their whole body felt like punching bags.

They layed their panting for a few minutes before the rainbow pony spoke. “Wow…… your good” she panted and smiled as she layed peacefully on his stomach.

Raymond panted in exhaustion but he was able speak. “Yeah you too.”

They stayed on the ground for a few more minutes before the rainbow pony asked the strangest question to say after a fight. “So…… do you want be friend?”

Raymond ponders on the idea. Seeing though fighting her would be inevitable and his whole body was completely sore from all the punches and kicks she gave. Then again he wasn’t the type to just be friends quickly after a beat down with a complete alien species. Even when they’re beautiful in their pony, anthro sort of way. But still she attacked him with getting to know him and accused him of something that she didn’t know and was completely false.

He ponder the idea for a few more minutes before shrugging and answering it

--- --- ---

Lachlan coughed a bit as he let out a chuckled a bit and filled up another shot of vodka. “So I can only guess that you said yes right?” he said taking another shot of vodka.

Raymond let out a defeated sighed; he drank another drink of whiskey. “It was either that or get another beat down by rainbow” he let out a shudder as both the alcohol and the thoughts of getting in another fight with rainbow again. he had been in fights before but the ones back home and the others in equestria the fight with rainbow dash was actual the most brutal one he ‘ever’ been in.

another drink of whiskey later Raymond then explains the rest of his day.

“After saying yes I then learned her name is rainbow dash and we later went to meet her friend twilight.” He then laughs as his first day ended started good but the end was hilarious. “The moment twilight saw both of us looking all beat up and covered in scratches and bruises she nearly flipped. Of not me being a new species but the fact rainbow and I look like we went to war” he continued to laugh as the memory of twilight going completely nuts. Rainbow remember telling Raymond that any longer twilight would have looked like the incident a few months back when she was going nuts because she was trying to find a friendship problem to help fix and send a letter to the princess.

Raymond was indeed surprise after that short story but shrug it since rainbow explains the crisis was averted and solved.

Finishing up the third bottle Raymond continues to story of how he first came to equestria with Lachlan. He explains to him that after twilight nearly has a mental breakdown she manages to calm herself before healing their wounds. After that was done twilight and rainbow showed him around town and to their friends which Raymond had to explain it to them he wasn’t an enemy and also that he doesn’t know how he got there in the first place. Lachlan stopped his drinking and listens through as Raymond continued his tale of arrival of equestria. A few times he nods for some agreements several he raises an eyebrow from the strangeness he went through. The one part was about lyra running after him with a stick of butter and duct tape. You fill in the blanks on that story.

Lachlan shook his head to relieve of that image as already he been through enough crazy in his lifetime and that image is something he doesn’t want to go home with. Using his thumb and index he pinches the bridge of his nose trying to relieve of that image. “Alright then so with that in order how your life is hellish in equestria”

The moment Lachlan said how hellish life in equestria is for him like a wire he snaps. Letting out a low but auditable growl he turns to Lachlan and holds his hand out to count the amount of hellish things he has to do each day. “1. Probably have most of the stallion population hating me besides my friends. 2. Whatever days I do have time to myself that isn’t work related is most taken by sex. 3. I’m always taken somewhere by some horny craze mare of sorts whether by being teleported into a house, drag through an alleyway or even grabbed and taken to the clouds. 4 I keep getting skewered like an F@#ken piece of cheese in each fight I get into it or in a near life/death experience. 5. When it’s the end of the day i ‘STILL’ can’t get away from sex. And finally without a doubt when I even go to another part of equestria sex is there to follow” he quickly grabbed the fourth bottle the bar pony set beside and chugged it down. The amount of pain and pleasure all came in one big trip down memory lane and only alcohol can solve the problem. After drinking half of the bottle down in one chug he slams the bottle down and lets out a loud sigh as he lays his head on his forearm.

Lachlan managed to move away a bit before Raymond gasket blew but he still managed to hear all of what he’s saying. He understands on what Raymond goes through since he goes through the same thing since his time in equestria before he gain his powers. He knew of the pain he endured when he was force to rut mares who Raymond shouldn’t talk about pain since the mares he’s bucked were 6 feet tall and the princesses were roughly 9 to 10 feet tall giants compare to the normal ponies of equestria.

Lachlan took a few seconds before he cleared his throat.

“So to put it in terms you became equestria’s own male bi-“he was interrupted as Raymond slammed the end of the bottle breaking it.

“Finish that sentence Lachlan and I swear this bottle is going straight down your throat” Raymond said angrily as he got up from his seat, the broken bottle clutching in his hand.

Lachlan looked at the bottle before getting up his hand glowed a dark devilish color as he stared into Raymond’s eyes. “What was that asshole. Are you threatening me with that dingy weapon?” Lachlan growled as both humans stared down waiting for one another to strike first.

“I’m not into threats. So this is more of a promise” Raymond said, his hand clutched tighter on the broken bottle.

Before both could start the fight the bar pony finally stepped in a small button in his hand as he pressed down on it letting out a loud ear shattering screech. “ENOUGH BOTH OF YOU! I don’t want no fighting or threatening in my bar, either take it in the fight room over there or get the hell out” the bar pony said as he put the button in his pocket and grabbed the broken bottle and started cleaning the shards of glass from it. Dumping it in the trash he turns to see both humans already calming down and sitting back in their chairs. They gripped their heads as they let out a low groan.

“Oh man my head is already killing me. How much I drank so far and that sound was so bad” Raymond said rubbing his head with both hands. Normally he never gets into a fight drunk since he always manages to hold his liquor down but somehow after the bar pony snapped his back into reality already a massive headache came through. He also wonder on the small device the bartender had in his possession but he believe it was best to leave that out.

Lachlan was feeling the same way Raymond was. Since living in canterlot he always manages to get caught up when it comes to drinking with his lovers and mostly he could handle several drinks here and there. He never feels this horrible hangover all the sudden before and usually the hangover never ends well. He knows it all too well. The amount of alcohol and the small sound became unbearable like a dog whistle against a herd of rabbid dogs.

The bar pony finishes his cleaning up and goes through some cabinets and pulls out a few alka seltzer and a few leaves medicine and glasses of water. Dropping the medicine into the water it foams up as he gives it to the two humans. “Here this will help your hangovers”

Both Lachlan and Raymond drank the glasses and waited for the medicine to kick in. after a few minutes pass the medicine finally kicks in and they can finally breathe a sigh of relief from it.

“Man that was weird I never gain a hangover so fast.” Raymond said rubbing his head a bit.

Lachlan turned his head to the side letting out a small pop on both sides. “What was in that liquor? It had more kick then any alcohol I ever had”

The bar pony shrugs and takes the empty glasses. “well the alcohol here has 40% more kick then regular liquor but I’m not sure I don’t drink much like you too and if you wonder on the small device best not to think about it much” he chuckles.

Both man let out a small sigh in annoyance as the liquor was still in their systems even after the quick hangover. Lachlan then turns to Raymond seeing if he can get the conversation going from where it was left off. “Alright Raymond you said weird fetishes how weird are talking about?”

Raymond still trying to get his head fully cleared he proceeds through even though he would not like it. “Well during my time in ponyville I learned from three mares that one is a maschalagnia, the other a podophilia and lastly the last one is a Somnophilia” he said as the memories of those three he can’t get out of his head.

Lachlan raised an eyebrow as he stared at Raymond. He never heard of such things before even though he didn’t know much on medicine. Those words seemed alien to him which the hangover that still was there didn’t help. “What the hell is a maschaelagia, a someoamphill and a….” he stops as he tried to remember the second one. “What was it? pedophile?” He said questionably and hopefully not the right answer. He is a proud father to 5 foals and he never like ponies who are pedophiles at all. Then again so did Raymond.

Raymond shook his head. “No it’s maschalagnia, somnophilia and podophilia” he said carefully on the last one so Lachlan heard it correctly then the other two. “Which means a mare who is a maschalagnia is into armpits, the mare who is a somnophilia likes to have sex either asleep or unconscious. And finally podophilia means the mare is into feet.” He explains to Lachlan slowly.

Lachlan was now officially weird out as Raymond explained the three mare’s weird fetishes. Never had he heard or let alone knew that it was a fetish before. A mare into feet is possible but into armpits and enjoys being bucked while she’s out cold is something he never experience before. Most times when he does it with a mare they are fully awake.

“So besides having to endure those fetishes are there any stories that aren’t strange.” He said hoping Raymond got at least a story that might make up the mood and help clear his head up.

Raymond begins to think of a good story to lighten up the mood. All day he killed it with the story of his arrival and the fetishes.

After a good few minutes he smiles and looks at Lachlan.

“Oh I got a good story to help brighten up the mood. Have you ever bucked your marefriends… in a rainbow waterfall in the clouds?”
Lachlan smiled as the thought sound awesome. “No but I like to try. Tell me about it”

Raymond let out a hearty laugh as he begins his story of the rainbow waterfall.

“Well it started as a regular Wednesday afternoon”

--- ---- ----

Raymond let out a relieving sigh, his arms stretched up straight in the air as the soft breeze blew across his face. “mmmm what a lovely afternoon.” He said stretching his bones out letting them give an auditable pop before shaking them off to loosen them. Today is a peaceful day since he was on his break but best of all he didn’t had sex all day today. At least hopefully he can get through most of the day.

Taking a deep breath he begins to walk towards ponyville to a nice restaurant for his break. Work has been booming a bit but it wasn’t to the point exhaustion. Work is great because he gets along well with his bosses and with the customers since back home he never was aquainted with his boss since he was mostly in his office or sometimes he work down in another part of the station and some patients he took care off were a bit forceful or a bit impatient to move or walk. A few times he had to stop some poor soul to take it slow when they are healing. All though he went through it almost every day it wasn’t all bad at all.

He continued through ponyville to his favorite restaurant, unlike previous afternoon he also kept to the shadows a bit due to some mares have banded out and walked through the streets. He could see the lust in their eyes as he walked through and he rather spend his time getting his belly filled then being bucked out his mind. He already suffered 4 times of only bucking on his lunch break without any food in his stomach and he doesn’t want to make it 5th in a row this year.

Reaching to his favorite restaurant he manages to enter it without problem and quickly grabs a seat. Looking around to see many mares at their tables but they were too preoccupied to notice him. Taking a breath he flinches a bit as a waiter comes up to him and offers him a menu. Looking through the menu he orders his drink and continues to look through for what sounds good to eat.

As he looks through the menu he doesn’t suspect somepony of spying on him. She had a sly smile spread across her face as she just finishes her planning and now waits for the right moment. She has been planning this all month and since her friend left to take a special test she had to improvise on the plan a bit. After a few tweaks she finally got the best plan she ever could think of.

“All I need to do is wait now.” She said the sign she kept the sign hidden in the cloud she was on.

Raymond looks more before deciding on what to order for lunch. After the waiter came with his drink he proceeds to order on what to eat. Little did he know a certain mare or should he say certain griffon was outside watching him.

After a good meal and paying for it Raymond stepped out of the restaurant, he took a deep breath before exhaling and walking back to work. Looking down at his watch he smiled since his he gets a 45 minute break and only killed about 8 minutes of lunch.

“Wow the lunch was so fast I still got some time left on my break. “He said surprise.

“Good” a mare side in a seductive tone.

Raymond gulped a bit after the familiar voice. Turning his head he turns to see one of his friends and still new resident of ponyville.

Her beautiful brown fur shinned a bit as she stares at you with those beautiful but dangerous hawk eyes. Her purple eye shadow gives her a look of the wild side as she grins at you seductively.

“Uh hi Gilda um….. How are you doing today?” he slowly backtracks away as Gilda slowly fly’s towards him a bit each step he takes.

“Oh good. Sadly I actually had a bad day today” she said making a small distress look on her face and putting her claw on her forehead like rarity does. Raymond could still see the small smile she has on her face as he tried to move away from her. He didn’t have the time to rut her today. He might have a few minutes left but when it comes to her she’s goes way over board on the sex.

“Um okay how were you having a bad day?” he asked a bit nervous now since Gilda is pushing him to a wall. He knew because he could feel the shadow on top of his head.

“Well you see. I just ran out of my favorite eyeliner and sadly I don’t have enough to pay for a new supply. So… I need your help then” she smiled seductively as she lure Raymond to a wall making him press against it as she was eye level with him.

Raymond let out another gulp as Gilda was just near inches from his lips. He knew that once Gilda gets his lips it’s all over for him.

The shear taste of her lips was like all the others sweet and tasty but with a hit of spicy on it too. A taste he couldn’t resist if she kisses him. “So…. How much you need… f- for some eyeliner?"

Gilda smirks as she got her prize just where she wants him. She gave him a few blows on the face and can see him flinch a bit but can’t move because her body was pressing against his. “Well actually I was hoping you can do something for me instead.” she reaches down into his pants and gropes his member, a large smile spread across her face as he let out a small but audible groan.

Raymond quickly covered his mouth after the small groan and stared at her beautiful yellow eyes. Through his mouth he spoke. “What you mean?”

“Simple” she takes her hand off his member and grabbed his shirt. “Come with me” she said before taking flight with her prize.
*several minutes later*

Raymond and Gilda both sat on top of a large cloud their bodies completely discarded of all clothing onto one the available clouds.

Their lips smash together tight as their tongues dance all around their mouths. Raymond’s member stood out from behind standing tall from between’s Gilda’s soft but firm ass. The heat from the sun beated down onto the two as their sweat mixed in together from rubbing their bodies together on top of the cloud. Gilda continued to French kiss Raymond for a few seconds before managing to stop and smile. Raymond finally let out a breath of relief as he almost couldn’t breathe because of how aggressive she can be when it comes to sex even a simple kiss can be rough with her.

Both stared into each other’s eyes for a few minutes before giving each other a quick kiss. Gilda let out a small giggled as she can feel Raymond’s sword already ready to being sheath into her marehood but she couldn’t get him too excited. Just not yet actually.

“Wow stud what have you been eating? Your member is now twice as big no maybe three times bigger than last time we bucked” she said seductively her ass puckers up a bit between his member as she pushes her butt cheeks together on it. He tried lifting her up so she can feel how big he was as well but she stops and slides back down to his stomach. She gives him a small pout and waves her winger side to side.

“Uh uh there stud don’t want you to overdo it there. Besides this is where you repay me right now.” She grips his biceps and gives them a gentle squeeze. “So relax and enjoy the nice… dip” she quickly pushed his chest back all the way through the cloud.

Raymond wasn’t fast enough to react as his whole body fell through the cloud and out from the bottom. His whole body felt weightless as he fell through. His mind went blank as his mouth couldn’t let out a scream to signal for help. Shutting his eyes tight he let his body fall to his doom but it never came to pass. He felt wet for some reason and he couldn’t breathe, a faint but loud splash sound echoed in his ear like a rock thrown into a pond. Opening his eyes he looks up into the sky to see the sun all blurry and for some reason a mixture of different color. He tried to speak but only bubbles came out instead. Shaking his head up out he finally realize what’s going on. He’s in a pond of some sorts. Let out a few more bubbles Raymond quickly got to his feet stood on the floor of the water.

The floor was soft enough to stand like standing on a cloud. “Wait a minute” as quickly as possible he jumped up and begins coughing up the water. Whipping the water out of his eyes he look around to see he was still in the sky but the sound of a running waterfall echoed in his ears. Turning around he stared completely shocked to where he was. He was still in the clouds but he was underneath the rainbow waterfall of cloudsdale. Looking down the rainbow water was stomach high and the ground he touched wasn’t even hard lie rocks or cement but felt just like a cloud. Scooping up some rainbow water he took a drink from it, instead of hot chili like what pinkie said back when she came to the rainbow factory instead tasted like the pony. Just clear clean water.

Raymond looked around for a bit before hearing laughter and quickly looked up to see a laughing griffon.

His surprise expression soon turns into an angry expression as he continued to watch Gilda laugh on top of the cloud they were on. “THAT ISN’T FUNNY GILDA! I COULD HAVE DIED!” he shouted

Gilda continued to laugh a bit more before finally she stopped and looked down at her favorite human. “Oh don’t worry I wouldn’t let that happen. Besides right now you need worry about those two down with you.” she said as she can see two shadows inside the rainbow water Raymond was in.

Raymond crossed his hands as he scrunch up at the last part. “What do you mean by tha-“he was cut off as two figures quickly submerge hooking around his shoulders as the quickly grabbed their prey before dragging him down with them.

Gilda could only smiled as within the water she can still see Raymond already sticking into one of the shadows already. As she watches the shadows going at it underwater she wonders on something. “hm maybe I should have told him that the first customers weren’t just Pegasus but also Olympic champion swimmers. “ she ponder on it before hearing a splashing sound follow with a moaning echoed. She looked down to see Raymond already working hard one of mares while he French kiss the second one.

The mare he was working on was a beautiful light green mare with a beautiful curly short white mane. Her body was lean but a bit muscular on certain parts that focus on swimming with a pair of goggles and wave lines underneath it cutiemark. The other mare he was French kissing was too green mare but a little darker the first mare with a dark blue mane and a tornado and bubbles on the side cutiemark.

She couldn’t tell who’s who actually but she read equestria’s sports magazine and knows one is named Seagulla and the other is whirl Windalla and have both won a variety of medals for equestria for a while but it was tough to know which is which since they look almost the same except they aren’t even related at all. Although she didn’t know who is actually who she did enjoy the show that Raymond was giving out. Especially when he switches both mares and even started bucking both of them at the same time.

Raymond managed to regain himself after the sudden drag and already was bucking into one of his captors. He holds her tight as he thrusted into her not even holding back on who she was. Emerging out of the water he took a deep breath of air before resuming his thrusts. The second captor came up behind him and begins assaulting his lips which he gradually accepted.

“OH YES YES BUCK US PLEASE!” the mare he was bucking screamed more as she helped Raymond with his thrusts by meeting half way. She moaned out of her mind as his member was so long and hard it literally hit the back of her womb and made an abnormal bulge in her. Even though it was rough she loved every second of it. ‘Worth 100 bits’ she said in her head as Raymond let go and switch to her partner and she took her partner’s place in the kissing.

Her partner couldn’t speak because of her voice box so she was a mute however the way Raymond was going at her was making her squeak a bit in pleasure. The other was amazed that Raymond was making her squeak a bit from bucking was indeed amazing from her book. Both mares kept at it as he managed to bring both to the edge of the waterfall. Once he was at the edge he stops and puts the second mare on top their marehoods smush together making it impossible to resist on sticking it between them.

Gilda smiled as Raymond worked on both mares enjoying both of them as much as they were. In one hand she led a medium size bag of bits while the other was the sign she made. The sign said ‘rainbow fall bucking: 10 bits a kiss, 20 bits a lick, 50 bits a blowjob and 100 bits full on bucking’. She smiled as this sign still got more work to do. “Get ready human because tonight.” She holds out an endurance potion out and gives a small shake of the condiments inside. “Because we got a long day ahead today” putting the bottle down she tears a piece of the cloud and sets the sign on top of it. Setting it out a few inches from her she soon waited for new customers. She didn’t have to wait longer as a few more Pegasus mares see the sign all pulling their purses out.

--- ---- ---

Raymond was completely out of his mind as he switched from not just two mares but already on his 8 mare. For 4 hours straight Raymond had spent both inside and outside the rainbow waterfall. Mare after mare Raymond kept bucking into each other mare that payed. A few times he met mares that weren’t from ponyville and several times when one of the mares was finished she would leave to tell her friends of the special offer. Now Raymond was bucking a unicorn mare that heard of the special bucking underneath the rainbow. She moaned wildly as Raymond rutted her doggystyle underneath the waterfall.

“Oh dear Celestia. Why have I waited for so long for this.” She moaned as her tongue lollied from excitement.

Raymond leaned in till he was next to her ear. “That’s what I’m here for. Now relax and let me help you relieve all that tension you had built inside.” he smiled as he resumed his rhythm into her. The unicorn moaned loudly as his member poked into her womb. Keeping his rhythm into her Raymond stopped at a familiar voice.

“Hi Raymond”

Raymond looks to his left to see familiar bubbly smile with her beautiful crooked eyes. She wore nothing on since most mares that came up was already stripped of their clothes and set on top of a cloud Gilda had for all clothing and other personal items. Beside her was one of her friends that he recognizes to be raindrop. She was a light yellow mare with a light blue mane which surprising was styled like Derpy’s. Both mares had a smile on their faces as they let out a cute school girl giggle.

The third mare was a pony he never expected to be to come for sex. Her shyness is what keeps her from even thinking of having sex in public.

“Hi Derpy, rainbow, Fluttershy how you mares doing today?” you said trying not to sound surprise to see Fluttershy outside naked in front of you. Fluttershy already was showing her shyness the moment she heard what you were doing up in the rainbow waterfall and she couldn’t help but give it a try. Making love with the stallion she loved up underneath a water fall over a full moon sound so romantic. Grabbing her bits she came over and handed it to Gilda. Gilda cuts a lot of the pay to down to nothing since she was Raymond’s marefriend and explains that she was also calling it a day since it was getting late and most of the mares have gone home already and only one current client and two new ones that were busy getting undress. Fluttershy nods and goes over to change. That’s where she saw Derpy and Raindrop getting undress and were both getting ready to have some fun. They too explain they pay nothing since Gilda trusted both Derpy and raindrop for having sex and how here she is with them all.

Raymond smiled as all three mares look happy and ready to have some fun. With one final thrust Raymond came into the unicorn. She let out a lusty moan before slumping down and sighed in pleasure.

“That was…. Amazing thank you” she said as she took a quick break.

Raymond got up and took stretched his bones out, his pelvis was sore a bit but after a quick stretch he felt better already. the water he spent time in help make sure he didn’t get sun burn since his lungs must have developed iron all around allowing him the ability to hold his breath longer then he could since the water mares spent more time underwater then above the water.

“So lovely mares who would like to go first.” He smiled resulting a small eep from Fluttershy but another giggle from both Derpy and Raindrop.

After a few second Derpy turns to Fluttershy and beckons her to go first. Fluttershy frantically says she couldn’t but Raymond silence all of it by reaching out and grabbing both hands. She gulps a bit as she looks up into Raymond’s eyes. He smiled as he leaned down and capture her lips.

“It’s okay Fluttershy I promise to make your night magical as possible. Luna’s moon is out and the sky is peaceful.” He leans down to Fluttershy ear and whisper. “So let’s make some music together”

He slowly lead Fluttershy to the water as both raindrop and Derpy got into the water too but took the liberty of pleasuring themselves with their bodies until your done with Fluttershy. They took turns sucking each other’s breasts and marehoods while French kissing each other.

Raymond led Fluttershy over to the middle of the water, her once shyness she had for a few minutes now turn to a loving smile.

They held their smiles before diving into each other’s lips not even holding back. Fluttershy moaned as she can feel his soft hands all rubbing all over her body, his member now standing at full attention pressed against her stomach. Raymond turned Fluttershy around so he didn’t miss her loving breasts that he didn’t mess a second of playing her beautiful breasts. She bites her lip as her coltfriend gave her breast a soft and gentle squeeze from the nipple to all around the breast.

“Oh. Oh please be gentle with me” she whimpers as one of his hands sink down and begin fingering her marehood. The sudden touch made her shudder out of control and made her squirm a bit. He fingers her a bit more till she squirm enough that his member was touching the tip of her marehood. He held in place and smiled as he waited for a signal to proceed. Fluttershy let out one more shudder before nodding him to proceed. Raymond kept his smile as he slowly insert into her.

*thud*

--- --- ---

Raymond stopped at the sudden thud sounding the bar and looked around for it. The bar pony too wonder on the sudden thud sound and looked around as well. “What was that thud sound?” they both said in confusion. They turn their attention to Lachlan.

Lachlan head was lying on top of the table his arms were on his knees. They couldn’t see his face due to his hair but somehow the can still hear some heavy breathing coming from him.

Raymond crossed arms at the rude thud since he wanted to lighten up the mood and to see Lachlan hitting his head the table and breathing heavy for some reason was mean to him. “Well that’s rude dude you didn’t have to hit your head from boredom” he said annoyed.

Lachlan didn’t lift his head but he spoke. “I wasn’t bored dude. My brain is trying to process everything that has happen to you at the rainbow waterfall.”

“Oh okay then but what was that thud sound your head” Raymond asked.

Lachlan let out a small gulp and lifts his head. He takes a deep breath as he tried to come up at least something for the thud sound. “Um….. Well for that matter it wasn’t my head or…. My limbs” he said a bit embarrassed about that last part.

Raymond looked at him and raised an eyebrow at what he said it wasn’t his head nor his limbs. ‘If it wasn’t the most obvious parts then what’ he suddenly grew wide eyed as one idea could only be the answer. He tried to stifle a laugh but he couldn’t. The room soon was filled with laughter from Raymond and surprisingly the bar pony that was on Lachlan’s side for a while now was on Raymond’s side this time.

Lachlan was now bright red from the embarrassment as the one thing he hoped that wouldn’t have been a problem. ‘Damned boner, damned Raymond and his sexy Fluttershy story. Even in his world her body is as gorgeous as nightmare moons’ he said in his head he tried to kill his boner down. After managing to kill his raging boner he looks at both the bar pony and Raymond annoyed. “So this is payback huh” he said annoyed taking another drink of vodka.

Raymond continued laughing till he slowly calmed down. Wiping the tear out of his eye he let outs a relieving sigh. “so if that gives you a boner then what would happen if I tell you the story of Fluttershy having lesbian sex with both Derpy and then raindrop next. “ he let out a chuckle but quickly stopped as his face now had a new vodka smell.

Lachlan took a few deep gulps of vodka before spitting it out. The very thought of Fluttershy having lesbian sex with full on tongue battles with two mares seemed too much for him. The very thought still lingered as he coughed up the last bit of vodka out. “Dude don’t kill me with stories with Fluttershy in them” he said. He cared about Fluttershy a lot and always enjoys having sex with her when they have the time. He remembers every sex moment they had together but when sex stories involving Fluttershy in it was too much for him.

“I promise if you promise not to use my face as a new spit target” Raymond said annoyed.

Lachlan looked and Raymond and covered his mouth. He could see the vodka sliding down his face as an annoyed look plaster on his face. “Oh shit…. I’m so sorry” he said

Raymond waved his hand to Lachlan. “It’s alright just…. Hand me a towel.” He asked.

The bar pony went through the cabinets and pulled out a clean towel. Handing the towel to Raymond he thanks him for it as he wiped the vodka off his face.

Rubbing the alcohol off both Raymond and Lachlan had something that caught their attention. The sound of the front bar door opening and the sight of another human coming in.

Author's Note:

sorry guys for the long wait. i've been busy right now and this summer heat is killing me. so far i'm trying my best to work on this story as well as the others but that's why i need your help. you see this story is a cannon of something like that of other humans of equestria. so yeah already i have one candidate on the role of human pub of equestria and if you want to give it a go it's up to you.

if you want send me a comment or private message and i'll give you what you need to do for the story k.

again thank you for the wait and hope to see you all soon.

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